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-A SINGLE GUY'S QUESTIONAIRE #1-
These are some questionaires I filled out for various dating sites, that once I started working on kind of took on a life of their own. It gives you a real good idea of who I am & where I'm coming from. Although like most things in life it's subjective, it'll really peak your interest in me or not. Am I worth the look? Are you? Only your curiosity can answer that. But just to save some time, the following words sum me up (as well as you?) pretty well...
CREATIVE & INTELLIGENT, FIT, FUN & SPIRITUAL
-QUESTIONS-
How would you describe your personality?
Let's be honest here, OK? Maybe you think I'm a total duffus if I have to use one of these date-sites to meet someone, don't you think? But hey no offence, *YOU'RE HERE TO*, so that would make YOU my Duffus Queen, wouldn't it?
I'm an optimist. People who don't know me well, think I'm a pretty serious guy because I don't engage in the social games that most people play & get straight to the point. But my friends think I'm a pretty fun guy, so read on & decide for yourself.
What are your primary interests, hobbies and favorite things to do alone or with a companion?
Well, my last girlfriend had this kind off bank-robbing fetish. At first I wasn't into it
but I tell you, there's NOTHING like a woman brandishing an Uzi to get a guy going in the morning! We still keep in touch, but 10 to 15 years is a little long for me to wait (she got a little careless on our last job) till we can be together again. That's why I'm here, but besides that...
OK, seriously? (you DO realize I was kidding in that last paragraph?) There's NO WAY anyone would EVER let ME near firearms...
I like cooking, cycling & crave ice-cream & chocolate. Am in good shape, have nice blue eyes, play guitar & write music. Into photography, graphic-art, meditation & being healthy. Drawn to twilight, the crescent moon & foggy evenings. Live downtown, do numerology & dream interpretation, learning tarot & Chinese astrology & am fascinated with psychology, metaphysics & parapsychology.
I listen to Baroque & Jazz music, good pop artists (Sting, Prince, Joni Mitchell) & 70's rock & progressive music (Yes, Led-Zep). I watch the Simpsons, Will & Grace, Grey's Anatomy, the Sopranoes, PBS, Sci-Fi flicks & romantic comedies from the 40's & 50's. I'm also thinking of going into writing (films) & *possibly* comedy.
Where were you born?
I wasn't born, I was hatched & soon you people of Earth will become my minions to rebuild my Space-Ship so I can... WHOOPS! Wrong section!
Born in Montreal, traveled a bit when I was younger. My parents are Austrian/German/Slavic. I speak French & German, maybe one day it'll be nice to learn Italian. Learning (ancient) Latin also interests me.
What type of work do you do?
Space Cadette. Working my way up to be the Admiral of the Fleet!!!
I'm in a creative field, quite happy & good at what I do. Probably most women are using this section to analyze my cash flow. So for them all I have to say is, "Can you spell PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT?"
How do you usually meet people?
My job as a Mugger puts me in contact with MANY nice people every day! Too bad I never have time to chat...
Mostly through work. But you meet people every day, so that's kind of a moot question.
What would you like to do on a first date or meeting?
Meet a nice gal whose ass is smaller than mine (if you're looking for politically correct here, go watch Oprah), doesn't have kids (yet), & whose IQ is higher than her wieght... (please note: it's VERY important that you DON'T confuse those two points) Wait a second, is that why I've only gotten plump gals to respond to my ad?
If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
Change? Well first of all, my diapers (I preffer the one's with the blue bunnies, the pink ones are for sissies). Having paid more attention in my spreling class & to take more sarcasm lessons.
I dunno there's SOOOOOO MUCH to choose from! I don't wanna disapoint you too much here, but I'm not perfect, I'm just trying to be the best person I can become, so it's an on going proccess. Tell you what, hang around with me for a while, & if something pops up point it out to me. I'm always open to suggestions.
What, if anything, have you learned from previous relationships?
#1)Listen to your intuition.
#2)NEVER take ANYTHING for granted.
#3)Make SURE that your partner swallows her Prozac BEFORE having sex...
I've learned what I want, & don't want in my next mate.
Describe something you would like to do but have never done.
Uhmmm, I don't think that sort of thing is legal, here...
But BESIDES that, basically I do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it (I was kidding about the Uzi's, they're impressive, but they never make it past the metal detectors). It's safe to say that I'm not a very repressed person.
What personal habits of others really turn you off?
Well besides people who listen to disco, Cretins who put the toilet roll in backwards. Gum chewers, Hari-Krishna's, Politicians, Mimes, telephone sales people & folks who pee in swiming pools? Not too much else...
Lazy un-ambitious people. Selfish, impatient, shallow & materiali$tic persons. People who don't tell, or can't face the truth. People who refuse to do/try anything out of their routine. Pierced noses, Punk, Metal & Rap. Cruelty to animals. Smokers, drunks & druggies.
How do you feel about tattoos or piercings on yourself or on your partner?
I'd like to meet all these people with "Guns & roses" tattoos on their ass when they're 80 years old & ask them "So Granny, do you STILL think that you're cool?"
Most people wouldn't paint on their living room walls what they've put on their bodies. But they'd PERMANENTLY put it on themselves, think about that. If the body is the temple of the soul, then what does putting graffiti all over their body say about how little that person cares about themself?.
Even the smallest, most delicate & artistic tattoo after several years time spreads out & looks like a smudge.
What´s the biggest thing you would like a potential partner to possess?
Her bank account.
Seriously, a brain & a good/kind heart. Mind you, having memorized the Kama Sutra would also impress me quite a bit...
What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you?
So far? This frikin' questionnaire...
Do you prefer boxers or briefs? Why?
Well personally, I have pretty good ass, so I don't see the point of covering it with a baggy sheet. I imagine my partner to be, would look & feel the same way.
What does "sex appeal" mean to you?
It means that sex appeals to me, quite a lot!!! It's not just one thing, but a combination of: MENTAL & PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL & SPIRITUAL. Mind you if you're a gorgeous moron, I might cut you some slack...
Who is the person you would most like to have dinner with?
My future Wife...
What goal(s) do you have? How will you make them come true?
To find a woman of my species & replicate to the point that soon you people of Earth will become my minions to aid in the rebuilding my Space-Ship so I can... - Oh, I'm getting tired of this questionnaire...
On a scale of 1 to 10, (with 10 the MOST important) how important is sex to you? Why?
Pretty damn important I'd say. Meaning...
I GUESS THAT THIS ONE RATES A BIG
FOR ME!!!
Next to breathing & eating, this is one of our most basic needs & desires. People who are in denial about this are usually a little repressed in one way or another. Mind you, being over-sexed is another extreme that's indicative of a whole bunch of other problems.
I compare it to food, some people eat at McDonalds (not that I'm comparing their buggers to blasé sex), & some people eat at 5 star restaurants. Myself? I know how to cook quite well, so...
What kind of relationship would be ideal for you? Why?
Preferably one with a woman, of my species.
LONGTERM MONOGAMOUS. Anything else & you're either a nun, or just running around & getting laid. Promiscuity isn't very appealing to me.
Besides honesty, communication, mutual interests & plenty of sex, what the hell else do you think you're supposed to do? SPEND LOT'S OF TIME TOGETHER!!! Now, if you're one of those "don't want to be smothered, need some time alone" kinda gals, then you're not the one for me. I've got plenty of other things going on in my life, so I don't 'need' to be with someone 24 hours a day. But if someone liked me enough to 'need' to be with me, or call 20 times a day, I wouldn't care as long as I liked being with her. If you 'need' to have time away from your partner, then that person isn't the right one for you.
So where the hell are this guys pictures?
OK, Relax. Most woman wouldn't have the patience to read even halfway though my ad, much less have made it this far. So it proves that I've kept your interest to SOME extent (either that or your TV is on the blink), & that MAYBE we have enough in comon to keep going & see what happens from there. So click HERE & you'll see some pics of me. Or keep on reading & somewhere on the next page you'll see my home-page link.
Describe the kind of person you're interested in meeting.
Well, someone WITHOUT psychiatric problems or criminal record would be a BIG improvement...
Someone who is positive, energetic & LIVES their life without constantly whining about what's going wrong. Someone who has a good/kind heart, is honest & adventurous, a visionary but realistic. A HAPPY PERSON.
I find green eyed brunettes, with an olive or tan complexion particularly striking (Shania Twain, Sela Ward, Nikki Taylor. Hmmm, do you think those babes are cruising the net looking for a guy like me?). But if you're blonde don't worry! Considering I'm in my 40's & losing my hair, I'm not going to be too fussy about eye & hair color.
As long she's younger than me & around 5'5" & 110-lbs, then I should be happy.
I'm great with kids, but would *prefer* to have my OWN someday, not raise someone else's.
What do you look like?
Like I haven't eaten or taken a shower in 3 days. Hey BUDDY! Got any spare change???
I'm 5'8" & 150-lbs, I cycle on a regular basis so I've got pretty good legs & my butt cheeks aren't too flaby either. So over all I'm in pretty good shape. I'm definitely cute, but havn't been asked to do the cover of Cosmo, yet... I've lost most of my hair, so if you go for that Jean-Luc Picard, Phil Collins, Sting, kinda look then you've hit the jack-pot here baby! But everything else seems to work just fine (my BODY that is, my bike still needs some work). I'm told that my best features are my deep blue eyes & hairy chest. Women like my cleft chin & dimples (on my face).
If you have opinions about STD testing, please describe them here.
My doctor say's I'm clean, what about you?
Supposedly with every person we have intimate contact with, we exchange/share Karma & spiritual energies. This makes me want to get to know who ever I'm with, on a deeper level before jumping into the sack with them.
How honest have you been answering these questions?
You mean besides the fact that I'm a pathological liar & Emperor of the Universe?
Tell you what, meet me & find out for yourself (but bring the Pepper spray along, just in case).
-IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER-
- Better late than never.
- Listen to your intuition.
- When in doubt, go for the sure thing.
- Don't take anything in life too seriously, except death.
- There's nothing that a discretely placed $100 bill can't fix.
- Keep your lawyers phone # & a fake I.D. on you at all times.
- If YOU don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to?
- VIAGRA? Personally, I don't use it. BUT OH YEAH, just what the world needed!
More horney men with boners, running around trying to get laid... : )
LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
What would I REALLY like to do??? Cheat on my income tax & not get caught. Meet an Angel who'll help me find my wings -OR- a Wing who'll help me find my Angel. Get a response from my personals ad from a woman who weighs LESS than I do & lives in the SAME country as myself (but if she has a pilots license, she can live where ever the hell she wants). Meet someone who has the patience to actually read my WHOLE personals ad.
Date a woman who *doesn't* turn out to some cranky, frustrated, can't make up her mind type, childhood traumatized by her dysfunctional family/mother kinda' schitzoid axe wielding (they tend to use up WAY too much freezer space) psycho-freak after a couple of years... Well, you get the picture.
Additional comments.
Well one thing's for sure, a date with me will NEVER be boring! I'm not perfect (although I'm pretty #"@*IN' fun to be with!). But wouldn't you be better off with me than that beer swilling, football hugging, jerk you were last dating?
I suppose I could come up with all kinds of clever witticisms to grab your attention & try to convince you that I'm NOT half as much of a dufuss as the last few guys you've been dating, but where's the fun in that? What I'm looking for is an UN-complicated girl with brains, a kind heart, & who's slim & fit as I am. All I want is my equal (minus the hairy chest). Not much to ask for, but REALLY hard to find in one package.
As for myself: I'm content with who & what I am. Good natured & good humored, like to keep my mind & body busy, & just want to share all I enjoy with someone who'll appreciate it as much as I do. "Friendship that catches fire" is how you view the state of Love, which you think ONLY grows with trust, communication & daily nurture.
Damit! My doctor wants me to put on that dumb white jacket again, gotta go...
So now, what about you? Age, height, weight & location, are a pretty good way to start. Music, TV & film interests are also helpful to assess long-term compatibilities... What else? Likes, dislikes? Phobias? Got any outstanding warrants? Any kids? An open minded Twin sister? And can YOU put a smile on MY face?
Click HERE for even more info & inane rambleings about me & to see my ever popular Sex questionaire...
tigerbee@hotmail.com
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