We ran in the door of the shoot. "God Nick, are you always late??" Kevin asked. "Kev, it's my fault. I slept in late." Kevin smiled "OK, well, in that case, I won't hold it against you." Kevin started walking away. "Wait, so if she's late its ok but when I am it's not?!?!" "RIGHT!" Kevin yelled. Nick stood behind and started whining. "Oh stop it you baby!"
I sat there and watched as the director started getting pissed off. The boys were all practicing their choreography and the director was getting pissed off cause thier model was late. I started getting bored so I wandered around looking for a pop. I found a Dr. Pepper and headed back to my seat. I sat and just stared into space, totally out of it. Once they were on a break, Nick walked over to me. "Ciati, Ciati?!?" He waved a hand in front of my face but I didn't budge. "You guys, Ci's staring into space again." The guys walked over. "Aww she looks so cute. She looks sad though." The director looked over at them. "PERFECT!!" He yelled knocking me out of my trance.
"What's perfect Wayne?" Brian asked. "She is. She has that whole 'sad look' thing going for her." I was confused "Huh?" "You, our model is late but forget her. You want to be in this video, you look perfect like you have sorrows and stuff. You're perfect." My eyes got wide "What are you talking about? I'm not a model. I can't be in this video!" Nick smiled "That would be so cool Ci, Come on do it for me?? PLEASE!!" I stood up. "Nu uh! No way no how! There is no way I'm going to do this!"
I sighed while Jenny applied my make up. Of course they won and I was going to be in the damn video. But then again, it was my favorite song "The One" so it wasn't that bad. "OK LETS GO!!" Wayne yelled and we all got in our positions. They turned on the song and it came blaring out of the stereo
"I'll be the one
I guess you were lost, when I met you
But still there were tears in your eyes
So out of trust and I knew no more them mysteries and lies
There you are, wild and free
Reaching out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night
I'll be the one
Who will make all your sorrows undone
I'll be the light
When you feel like there's no where to run
I'll be the one
To hold you
And make sure that you'll be all right
Cause nothing is wrong and i want to
Take you from darkness to light
There you are wild and free
Reaching out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night
I'll be the one
Who will make all your sorrows undone
I'll be the light
When you feel like there's no where to run
I'll be the one
To hold you
And make sure that you'll be all right
You need me like i need you
We can share our dreams coming true
I can show you what true love means
Just take my hand baby please
I'll be the one, I'll be the light
Where you can run to make it all right
I'll be the one I'll be the light
Where you can run
I'll be the one
Who will make all your sorrows undone
I'll be the light
When you feel like there's no where to run
I'll be the one
I'll be the one I'll be the light
Where you can run to make it all right
I'll be the one I'll be the light
Where you can run to make it alright
I'll be the one
To hold you
And make sure that you'll be all right
I'll be the one
"Cut! That was perfect!!" The director yelled and I sighed, glad that it was finally done. (AN: Ok, I would have described what the shoot was like but I'm not in a creative mood right now. Lol...I also know that shoots take longer than a day...but get over it! It's a fanfic...it's not real anyway). "That was great Ciati!! We're gonna go out to eat, do you wanna come?" I shook my head "No that's ok, do you think you could drop me off on your way there?" He nodded. "Sure, are you postive you don't want to come?" "Yeah, I'm not really hungry." He sighed "Ok."
I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't too thrilled with what I saw. I've always been told that I was pretty, that I was cute, that I was adorable. But I could never see it. I'd go home and look at myself in the mirror and just cry for hours. I looked at myself once again and nodded to myself. My hand shakily extended and grabbed the razor from the counter. I just sat there for what seemed like hours staring at the razor. Did I really want to do this? Of course I did. I'd always thought about doing this but I'd never had the guts. But here I was, sitting in the bathroom, about to do one of the things that most crazy people do, but I didn't care. I pulled back my sleeve and extended my wrist. "This is it." I whispered to myself before cutting my flesh to take the pain away, to make me concentrate on one thing in my life, the hurt. I knew it was wrong but I had to do it. I had to have some way to take the pain away.
