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An open letter to the Democratic Party
Oct. 2003 Dear Democratic Party, Well, it’s finally time. I’d been meaning to write you a letter for a while, but the last few days have really given me the swift kick in the ass I’ve needed. So as I sit here basking in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s gubernatorial glow, I have to ask – What’s with you guys? You couldn’t figure out how to make anyone look good against a guy who has kept his steroid-enhanced foot in his mouth for the entire California recall? A guy who all but admitted he was without a plan or real direction? You couldn’t get the most liberal state in the Union to stand behind a guy they elected a year ago? What’s wrong with you people? Now I have to confess up front, I am not a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Green, or any other such easily classified (and dismissed) dissenter. I’m just your average gun-toting, tree-hugging, right-wing socialist, and like the majority of voters in Colorado, I am unaffiliated. I don’t really care which party is in power, but I do like some semblance of balance. That’s why I am so disappointed in you, my Democratic friends. You have become the weakling that dutifully shows up every November, just to have sand kicked in his face. It’s not even funny anymore, and yet you keep showing up, staggering around in a daze, recycling unelectable candidates, and generally acting like you have some kind of brain injury. You might as well pack up your marbles if that’s all you’ve got. I have so many questions you haven’t been able to answer. When did you give up being the party of the “common man,” and start clinging to a bunch of bizarre special interests? Why do you allow yourselves to be represented at the national level by whining, unelectable jokes like Gephardt and Kerry? And for God’s sake, why do you allow yourselves to be completely defined by your opposition? I guess that’s it in a nutshell - what do you stand for? No one seems to know. Are you liberals or moderates? Do you favor greater protection of civil liberties, or greater security? Pro-business, or anti–NAFTA? Smoking or non-smoking? Paper or plastic? Are there any issues you’re not wishy-washy on? You see, even if we don’t always like what the Republicans stand for, there is no question about where they stand. And because we know where they are coming from, we will vote for them in certain situations. I would do the same for you, but you have to give people a viable choice. And I’m not talking about Al Gore, if you see what I mean. I know it’s not going to be easy for you. You are so used to doing damage control, rather than fixing the problem. Clinton had enough charisma to see him through – I don’t think you have that option anymore. Nope, I am afraid you’re going to have to be honest with people – not only will that set you apart from your competition immediately, I think that people are more than ready for it. You're also going to have to invest in some clear, definable goals that will set you apart. Maybe embrace your populist heritage. Fight for American jobs or common sense reform. Hell, I don’t know, just do something. Anything. Good luck, and keep in touch. Sincerely, Brian Taylor
P.S. I know a lot of you guys already hate him, but you might think about giving Wesley Clark a chance next year. He’s the only one in the donkey ears that even sounds interesting, and he might be able to help with that little credibility problem you seem to keep running into.
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