"Tell me why I

 shouldn't kill you."

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

John Constantine

"Because...

 because I'm John

Constantine?"

Sometimes known as: Crapper (Marley).

A self-described nasty piece of work, John Constantine has more practical experience with the occult than anyone else in the League. And he likes it that way. He has a twisted and incorrigible sense of humor, a flair for getting himself into and out of trouble, and more than a few dirty habits. As much a con artist as he is a magician, Constantine is nevertheless a good person to have around in a tight spot. Usually. Unless he's behind you, with a knife.

Constantine is: A smartass.
Constantine likes: Trouble.
Constantine's Survey Results

"Faces on the Street" - Article on John Constantine

Holmes: Mr. Constantine is a useful man. I insist on keeping him at arms' length. Partly because his emotional state seems midway between a twelve year old girl whose prized puppy has just been run over by a railway-carriage and that same puppy immediately before the carriage strikes. Partly because he dabbles in matters that ought either be mastered or let alone.

Seishi: Cute, but seriously lacking in people skills. Thus far I've had to try to save him twice, and his pick-up lines are awful. Honestly, I don't have much respect for him right now, though there must be something to him.

Kate: They say still waters run deep. Constantine's a set of white water rapids with fish flopping around in the froth. And yet he still runs deep.

Whisper: He was the first person to introduce me to Beacon Harbor. Somehow neglected to include the "demons, vampires, and general huge amounts of evil" details. Nonetheless, helpful and mildly charming, if a little suspicious and a lot cheesy.
 

Kitty: The irritating thing about John Constantine is that you never know whether you're safer working with him, or running away. Okay, that's a lie. One of the million irritating things. If I ever go crazy, it'll probably be his fault, somehow.
 

Pete Wisdom: Heh. Conjob. In some ways more of a berk than the counterpart I grew up knowing, but in many more ways quite a bit more willing to get involved in life and the world immediately around him. No idea if the two have anything to do with each other.

Buffy: He showed me that there were things in this world worth fighting for--things that wouldn't bring Dawn back, but would let me hold onto myself. He thinks he'll be the death of me, but he's wrong. I'm terrified that I'll be the death of him--or worse. But I've lost everything in my life that I've ever cared about, and I'm not about to lose John Constantine to The Powers That Be, the world, or his own ghosts. He'll pull through, he always does. He's just like me, only he chooses to save the world, I do it because I have to. He might be a bastard, but he's better than the rest of us. He's better than I am.

Lara: Never have I been hit upon in a more creative, if utterly ridiculous manner. I know better then to take Constantine for a fool, though - he's incredibly useful to the League, but he's out for himself and I know it. Woe betide him if he hurts Buffy, though I admit to finding his supernatural lore and skills fascinating.

Indiana: A real son of a bitch. What he thinks he's doing with Buffy I don't know. Handy to have around when there's mumbo jumbo claptrap to be dealt with, but I wouldn't trust him further than I could throw him.

Simon: I heard the name John Constantine years ago in London for the first time. After a few more years, I thought then I'd probably be better off if I never met him. I'm still not sure I was wrong, but things tend to be more exciting with him around. John, do something good and try not to hurt Buffy. Oh, too late.