Survey: John Constantine

Name: John Constantine. Or 'that bastard'.

Birthday: May 10, 1966. I'm not middle-aged yet.

Home:Well, I was born in Liverpool. Got out of there as soon as I could and went to London. Don't ask me what I'm doing here.

Eyes:Blue.

Hair Color:Blonde. The League seems to attract blue-eyed blonde-haired Englishmen.

Your Favorite TV Shows? All of the good programmes on the BBC, lately. I never appreciated them until they were gone.

Your Mouse Pad? I haven't got any pet mice.

Your Screen Saver? ...none. Put me next to technology and I end up kicking the shit out of it.

Favorite Color: Whatever colour the stuff I'm drinking is.

Least Favorite Color: Whatever colour the stuff I'm drinking is, the next morning.

Favorite Hobbies: Messing about with magic. Getting into trouble. Making fun of all the wrong people. Sex. No, no, I tell a lie, sex isn't a hobby, it's a necessity of life.

Favorite Boardgame: Does naked Twister count?

Favorite Magazine: To anyone who saw me looking at Vogue - it's Buffy's! You can even ask her, and she'll tell you the same thing. Just don't tell her I was looking at it. And if you do, don't tell her that I was looking at the models. Look, I haven't got any other option, all right? For some reason Buffy never leaves the Victoria's Secret catalogue lying around where I can find it. And if she caught me with Playboy, my body would never be found. Except for a few pieces, maybe. Or the ashes of a few specific pieces.

Favorite Soundtrack: Who listens to those?

Favorite Smell: Be reasonable, now. I'm not going to give away all of my secrets this easily. I have to keep some. Even if it's something like 'favourite smell'.

Worst Feeling In The World: Being lost and alone and - how about I just say something simple like 'getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth'. Which I can't remember doing, but that's all right.

Best Feeling In The World: Giving the bastards on top of this whole shit-pile the finger and getting away with it.

Favorite Things To Do On Weekends: Weekdays and weekends are meant to be different?

One Item On Your List Of Things To Do Before You Die: Give the bastards on top of this whole shit-pile the finger and get away with it.

One Thing You Never Did In Childhood That You Wish You Had: Actually, I did pretty much all the stuff I wanted to do when I was a kid. I was such a little bastard. All right...maybe I wish I'd run away to London earlier.

One Vain Thing About Yourself Of Which You Are Proud: The way I haven't died yet.

Ultimate Vacation Spot: I don't know. Really, I just want to be able to go back to London. Don't tell anybody I said that.

Most Interesting Place On Earth You’d Love To Visit: Only 'on Earth'? That's much too limiting, that is.

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake In The Morning? 'Do I have to get up?' Or, 'What the hell did I drink last night?'

Do You Get Motion Sickness? No. I do too much travelling to have to deal with that shit.

Roller Coasters ~ Deadly Or Exciting? Neither. I get my deadly kicks elsewhere.

Pen Or Pencil? Whichever I find first, unless I can get somebody else to write it for me.

Dogs Or Cats? Cats. They know the importance of the right attitude.

Leave Messy Or Clean Up? Do I look like the sort who'd clean anything up?

How Many Rings Before You Answer The Phone? Four or five. Let 'em wait.

Future Son’s Name? I don't want kids. I'm a bastard but I'm not a sadist.

Future Daughter’s Name? See above.

Favorite Foods: I've survived weeks on bugger all but alcohol and cigarettes. Why would I care enough about that sort of thing to pick a favourite food?

Do You Get Along With Your Parents? Not a chance.

Do You Make New Years Resolutions? Why bother? I'd never keep them.

Have You Ever Been Convicted Of A Crime? My crimes aren't the kind you get convicted for. Think there's some sort of Mystic Police, do you? If there is, it's probably the band.

Chocolate, Vanilla, or Strawberry? Chocolate, of course.

Favorite Ice Cream: Buffy likes ice cream more than I do. I'll let her decide for me. Maybe that'll calm her down enough to keep her from killing me over any of the other things I've said here.

Croutons Or Bacon Bits? Bacon bits, I suppose. They're the less healthy option, right?

Do You Like To Drive? I never bothered to learn how.

Do You Obey Traffic Laws? I would do, if I knew them much. (And while you're at it, pull the other one, it's got bells on.)

Are You Often Agitated On The Road?I'll admit to yelling at whoever's doing the driving to go faster.

Number One Pet Peeve: Demon yuppies.

Do You Sleep With Stuffed Animals? Not unless Buffy brings them to bed!

Who Is Your Favorite Poet? You don't really think I read poetry, do you? ...Yeats. Maybe.

Who Is Your Favorite Author? Aleister Crowley. Who else?...that was a joke. Maybe.

Do You Eat The Stems Of Broccoli? I don't eat the broccoli.

If You Could Have Any Job You Wanted, What Would It Be? Don't be stupid. Honest people (and Simon) work. I don't.

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would It Be? Why would I want to dye my hair? Well, if this trend of blonde-haired, blue-eyed Englishmen keeps going, I may have to if I want to stand out. Or maybe I'll just make Simon stay in disguise. It'd suit him fine, I'm sure.

If You Could Have A Tattoo, What And Where Would It Be? You mean if I had to have a tattoo, of course. I suppose it'd be 'Buffy' right above my heart. (Not really, but I need to make sure she doesn't kill me for any of the other things I say here.)

Have You Ever Been In Love? I don't want to talk about that.

What Is On The Walls Of Your Bedroom? A scrawl of graffiti that reads 'nian hui wuz here'. No, I didn't invite her in!

Is The Glass Half Empty Or Half Full? Depends on what's in it.

What Is Your Favorite Snapple? Snapple? You're not serious, are you?

Favorite Movies: If I'd got any, I wouldn't admit it. I have got a reputation to maintain, and I might go and spoil it by saying something like 'The Princess Bride'...not that I know what 'The Princess Bride' is, of course. Yeah.

Are You Righty, Lefty, Or Ambidextrous? Righty. Which means I'm not in my right mind, I think. Funny, it often seems like I'm the only one around in his right mind.

Do You Type With Your Fingers On The Right Keys? You're assuming that I type.

What’s In Your Tape/CD Player Right Now? You don't really want me to tell you about my old band, do you?

What’s Under Your Bed? I suppose I could guess. The lost bits of my magic kit (being held hostage by the dust, which has probably attracted a few pathetic demons all by itself), that copy of A Field Guide to Demons that I can't find, and - if I said Buffy's knickers I wouldn't live to finish the sentence.

What Is Your Favorite Number? I'd say 23, but I'm not actually part of the Illuminati. They'd kick me out before I could blink. And I'd hate the little wankers anyway.

What Is Your Dream Car? One someone else is driving.

Favorite Sport To Watch: A new one. It's called 'Watch the Bloody Stupid Superheroes Destroy Half the City and Expect Us to Bleeding Thank Them For It'. I'll just say it's entertaining.

Say One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You: Buffy is sweet and kind and - she won't kill me for anything I've said here, right? Right?

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