Chapter 1: Not On My Panties!

“Well,” said Kakashi, “I told you before: you stay in that form too long, you’ll get stuck in it.”

“This isn’t funny, Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto fumed.

“I beg to differ,” Sasuke said, looking bored.

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were seated on the ground in the field where they’d first proven their worth as Genin, while Kakashi perched on one of the posts. They’d been called there by Naruto earlier that morning and found him in a form not unlike his Sexy no Jutsu, but clothed. Sakura had been incredulous as he’d explained what had happened. A Henge no Jutsu transformation, becoming an actual transformation? Sakura had never heard of such a thing. Logically, it would be impossible, but very little was impossible when Naruto was your teammate.

It was a beautiful day, clear skies and warm sun, but Sakura could feel a storm brewing nearby. Her instincts were soon proven right. After a few minutes of frowning at his rival, Naruto flicked a shuriken at Sasuke, which Sasuke caught and nonchalantly tossed back. Before it could reach its target, Sakura, seated in between her two male teammates, snatched it out of the air and glared at both of them. They didn’t seem to notice, though, too busy glaring at each other.

Sakura sighed. It was always like this. Kakashi glanced up from his reading, sensing the charged atmosphere.

“Naruto,” said Sakura, trying to diffuse the tension, “what exactly happened? Did you do anything differently than when you usually, um... do that?”

“No,” Naruto sulked. “It’s just like I told you: I used it on that old hag Tsunade--”

“Don’t call our Hokage a hag, Naruto,” Sakura admonished, but as usual he ignored her.

“--and then there was this big surge of chakra, and then I... well, you know. I got stuck like this. I don’t know what happened.”

Sasuke snorted. Naruto whipped his head back towards him, long ponytails catching the light and momentarily blinding Sakura. “What was that for?” she snarled.

“Because only you could ‘accidentally’ overpower a Henge no Jutsu like this, that’s why,” Sasuke drawled. Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. She still had a bit of a crush on him, true, but he occasionally got on her nerves. Not as much as Naruto, but enough. “You’re such a moron,” he continued.

Naruto leapt to his feet. “Don’t call me that!”

Sasuke stood slowly, smirking. “Why not? It’s the truth.”

Sasuke fell into a lazy fighting stance as Naruto rushed forward. Sakura stood herself and was about to intervene when Kakashi stepped in between them, holding Naruto back with both hands on his shoulders. “Now, now,” he said, “no reason to fight just yet. Naruto, I’ll talk to the Hokage and see if I can figure out what might have gone wrong. In the meantime--”

“Ah,” interrupted Naruto, “you might not wanna do that yet. I don’t think she’s recovered.” He scuffed the ground, looking as repentant as she ever did.

Kakashi stared at her for a moment. “It... worked?” he asked. Naruto nodded. “On the Hokage?” Naruto nodded again. Kakashi gazed at the sky, looking contemplative. “Hmm...” he murmured. Then he shook himself and continued. “In the meantime, Sakura, could you get him into something a little more... fitting?” With that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Sakura looked Naruto up and down. She saw Kakashi’s point. While Naruto’s regular orange jumpsuit covered the most important parts, it was so loose that it left a great deal of skin exposed, especially when he moved. Naruto was still small for his age, though he had gained a couple of centimeters, and the Sexy no Jutsu was almost as tall as Sasuke, almost four centimeters taller. In the meantime, his sandals, made for a growing boy, were loose on his new, more slender feet; Sakura winced at the thought of the blisters the friction would cause. And, she thought, eying Naruto’s chest, he would need a bra. Hopefully one of her spares would fit.

“Damnit!” raged Inner Sakura. “He’s not even a real woman, and he still has nicer boobs than me!”

“So,” said Sasuke, in that particular tone of voice he’d developed over the years specifically to provoke Naruto. “Why did you use that move on the Hokage anyway? I thought you were sixteen, not twelve.” Sakura rolled her eyes. Sasuke was being really irritating today.

Instead of yelling and starting another fight, as Sakura had expected him to do, Naruto glanced away, looking almost... guilty? No way. But--

“I kinda played a prank on her,” Naruto said. Sakura’s jaw dropped. Back when he’d done this sort of thing routinely, he’d always bragged about what he’d done, how bad he was, how no one else in the village could get away with it. Sure, that time was long gone, but still, Sakura had the feeling it wasn’t just age that had taken away much of his usual bravado. Perhaps he was more shaken by this than she’d thought.

Inner Sakura snorted. “Yeah, right,” she said, “he’s probably just hoping you’ll forgive him for whatever he’s done this time. Like hell!”

“And what prank was that, Naruto?” she said aloud, pushing herself out of her own thoughts and into her usual role as peacekeeper and rule-enforcer.

“Well,” he replied slowly, “if you look at the outside wall, you’ll see it.”

The conversation died, and Sakura silently contemplated the scene in front of her. Naruto was sulking, arms crossed over his unfettered breasts and a pout on his downturned face. Sasuke was gazing at Naruto, eyes traveling up and down his body in a manner Sakura decided she didn’t like at all. Before she could say or do anything to stop it, though, Sasuke broke the silence himself.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Naruto?” said Sasuke, smirking. “Woman problems?”

“Shut up, Sasuke,” Naruto mumbled. “I’m just feeling sick, that’s all.”

The silence returned. Sasuke continued to look at Naruto, who refused to look at anything besides the ground. Sakura chewed her bottom lip and thought. If Naruto was back to pulling pranks again, then maybe...

“Maybe,” growled Inner Sakura, “he’s pulling one on us!”

Quick as lightning, Sakura crossed the distance between herself and Naruto, took a breast in her hand, and squeezed. “Hmm...” she murmured. There was a definite bulge under the fabric, ruling out the low-level Henge no Jutsu. She squeezed a little harder. The bulge remained instead of disappearing, indicating that it wasn’t one of the more advanced illusions which added a small amount of substance to the fabrication. So, it seemed Naruto was telling the truth. She looked up to apologize to Naruto for doubting him, but froze as her gaze fell on his face.

“He...” muttered Inner Sakura, taken by surprise for once. “What is that look?”

Naruto’s cheeks were flushed, eyes half-closed. As she watched, his mouth curved into a lascivious grin. She stared for a moment, then flushed too as she realized what was going on.

“Naruto,” she growled, drawing her hand back and clenching it into a fist.

“Eh? What’s up, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked, clueless.

“You pervert!” Sakura yelled, slamming her fist into the side of his face. He flew a short distance and crashed into the pole Kakashi had been sitting on with a decidedly satisfying crunch. She smiled as he slid to the ground, cracking her knuckles. After a moment, he shook himself and stood up.

“What was that for, Sakura-chan?” he whined, rubbing his sore head.

“It’s cause you’re a total pervert, moron,” Sasuke interrupted, already on his way out of the field and into the nearby forest. Sakura caught Naruto’s wrist before he could flip Sasuke off and, giving Sasuke’s retreating back one last glance, dragged him out of the field in the opposite direction.

“Hey, hey, Sakura-chan,” Naruto asked, his newly-soprano voice breathy from being pulled along at such a pace, “where are we going?”

“To my house,” Sakura answered. “You need some clothes and sandals that fit. Some of my old things should do for now. And then,” she said, giving him a sideways glance, “then we’re going to the store.”

“But Sakura-chan, I thought you were gonna give me what I needed!” Naruto said. “I hate shopping! Why do we have to go?”

“Because,” she said, gripping his wrist harder and dragging him even faster, “there’s no way a pervert like you is getting his hands on a pair of my panties.”

“Hell no,” Inner Sakura agreed.