“Naruto,” said the Hokage, crossing her arms over her ample bosom, “why exactly did you feel the need to tag the outer wall of the village with one of those ‘For a good time call So-and-So’ messages? Aren’t you a little old for those kinds of pranks?”
Naruto looked at the floor and scuffed it with his foot. Truthfully, he didn’t know why he’d felt the need to revert to his old ways. It was just that... ever since he’d become a Chuunin, ever since the people around him finally warmed up to him somewhat, he’d felt... he didn’t know. Like one of the crowd. No one looked twice at him anymore, not even in disgusted fascination. No one was paying attention.
“I don’t know,” he said, then looked up at Tsunade’s irate face. She took a deep breath. Naruto prepared to bolt if he had to.
“I can accept that,” she said. Naruto relaxed. “But,” she continued, cracking her knuckles. Naruto edged towards the window. “Why the hell did you put my number up, you little brat?”
Naruto made for the window, but Tsunade caught him before he reached his goal and swung him up to her eye level by his collar. “Do you,” she ground out, punctuating each word by shaking Naruto so hard his eyes rattled in their sockets, “have any idea how many perverted calls I’ve gotten in the last hour alone?”
Naruto closed his eyes, instinctively forming seals with his hands. He realized at the last second that the jutsu he was performing wouldn’t be any help against Tsunade--she was a woman, after all--but he figured he was going to be pudding in a second anyway, so it didn’t really matter.
With that in mind he took a deep breath and yelled out his secret special attack: “Sexy no Jutsu!”
He remained suspended in the air for a second, then Tsunade let go. He fell to the floor and cowered there. After a moment, he looked up, confused.
Tsunade was staring at him, eyes glazed over and blood trickling from her nose. As Naruto watched, she slowly slid to the floor. He raised himself to his knees and poked her forehead. She fell backwards, completely unconscious.
Naruto stared for a moment. Then he grinned and stood up, proudly naked and female, and placed a foot on Tsunade’s abdomen in triumph.
“Ha ha!” he shouted. “Uzumaki Naruto triumphs again! His super-secret special attack, ‘Sexy no Jutsu,’ has now taken down not one Hokage, but two! And the next Hokage will be Naruto himse--ugh!”
A sudden surge of chakra made Naruto fall to his knees, clutching at his stomach. The painful sensation soon subsided, however, and he stood, disregarding it in his victory. Chuckling as he caught sight of Tsunade’s motionless form once again, he put his fingers together in the seal for “Kai,” the jutsu-release.
“Kai,” he said. Then he said it again, puzzled. Nothing happened. He tried one last time. Still, nothing. He raised a hand to his chest, dreading what he might find.
His breasts were no longer an illusion. They were real. He slid his hand down to his crotch. Flat.
Uzumaki Naruto, who had taken down two Hokages in this form, screamed as he found himself trapped in it.
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