“So, Naruto,” Iruka said. He and his former student were sitting side by side in the Ichiraku ramen bar, slurping down mouthfuls of their specialty pork ramen. Naruto noisily sucked a noodle into his mouth and turned to face his teacher.
“Yeah, Iruka-sensei?” he said. His voice, previously a low soprano, was back to his usual tenor, and Naruto couldn’t be happier.
“What have you learned from all this?” Naruto rolled his eyes.
“Aww, Iruka-sensei!”
“Despite what you think, it’s not a stupid question,” Iruka insisted, looking Naruto straight in the eye. “It’s important to learn from our mistakes so that we don’t make them again. I mean, if Tsunade hadn’t shown up in the nick of time, the entire village could have been lost.”
“Yeah, good idea to go get her directly instead of Shizune.”
“Though I do feel bad about what happened to Kotestu after that.”
“Yeah, I’d hate to have sand permenantly embedded in my--”
“Naruto, don’t change the subject.”
“OK, OK,” Naruto said. “What I learned was... I hate being pregnant.”
“That’s a good start. Go on.”
“I’m never getting pregnant again.”
“Mmhm.”
“Because being pregnant is icky.”
“That’s right.”
“And I’m a boy, so it’s impossible now,” Naruto said, patting his thankfully-flat chest. “Being a girl was kinda neat for a while, but I like being my usual self better.”
“Good thing you changed back after Hokage-sama resealed the Demon Fox.”
“I like it better like this.”
“And there was something else...”
“Thanks, Iruka-sensei, now I remember. If I get pregnant, there’s something seriously wrong going on.”
“Right.”
“Because only girls can get pregnant, and they’re cool so they can do it better.”
“Ah, sure.”
“And that bastard Sasuke wouldn’t have hung around.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“Well, I get the feeling he had something else up his sleeve, you know? Like, he wouldn’t have stayed just because I was having his, um, child.”
“Well, given how young you are, it did seem a little strange that he didn’t just run off, like most guys that age do. Then again, Sasuke’s not your ordinary guy.”
“Nope. He’s a bastard.”
“Naruto...”
“OK, OK. Lessee... basically, I just don’t ever wanna be pregnant again.”
“You already said that.”
“Well, I really, really mean it! I hate it! I mean, I’m not a girl, even if I look like one sometimes, so this whole shouldn’t have even happened in the first place!”
“Exactly. So the moral of the story is?”
Naruto beamed as he gulped down the last of his ramen. “Don’t play pranks on the Hokage?”
“Naruto!”
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