The first thing Naruto heard one morning a month or so later was a knock on his door. He blinked and yawned and glanced at his alarm clock. He frowned. Who the hell came knocking on people’s doors at 6:30 in the morning? He shook his head to clear it and slowly maneuvered himself to his hands and knees, careful of his bulging belly. Oh, right. All ninjas were awake at 6:30. He himself had been given maternity leave, but the others would hardly be on his schedule.

The knock came again. Naruto braced himself, then shoved himself to his knees. He pulled one foot out from under him and placed it flat on the ground. With a mighty heave, he got to his feet and wobbled there for a minute, regaining his balance. His back hurt. The knock came again.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” he snarled at the door, pulling on his bathrobe and rubbing at his eyes. “Jeez, give a pregnant woman a break.” He thought for a moment. “Pregnant man, I mean.” He thought for a moment more, then decided to put the question of which was worse to call himself away for later. Rubbing his belly to soothe it--the little bugger got violent when it was disturbed--he padded to his front door and opened it to face Kiba and Shino, who were standing on the other side.

“Good morning?” he said, confused. Why were they here? Had they come to make fun of him? Well, if they did, he was still Uzumaki Naruto, Leaf Village’s #1 Ninja, and he would kick their asses even while pregnant!

“Hey, Naruto,” Kiba said. Kuromaru yipped in polite greeting. Shino nodded.

Naruto stepped back and opened the door a little further. “Would you like to come in?” he said. It seemed like a polite thing to do, and on second thought fighting while pregnant didn’t seem at all appealing, especially against guys as powerful as he knew Kiba and Shino to be.

“Actually, we were just on our way out to meet Hinata and Kurenai for a mission,” Kiba explained, fiddling with something in one of his pockets. “But we thought we’d stop by and drop some things off.”

Naruto narrowed his eyes in confusion. Drop things off? What did they mean?

“So, here,” Kiba said, drawing something out of his pocket. It was a bright purple ball. Kiba squeezed it; it emitted a a quacking sound similar to a duck’s. Naruto took it, still confused. Why was Kiba giving him this thing, exactly?

“It’s for the baby, you know, a toy,” Kiba explained, looking pleased with himself. Kuromaru yipped, and Kiba scratched her ears. “Don’t worry, Kuromaru, I didn’t forget.” He reached into another pocket and brought out a hot water bottle, which he also handed to Naruto. “Here, this is from Kuromaru. And I think some other people are planning on bringing more stuff later today, so don’t go out, OK?”

“Ah, thanks,” Naruto said, still somewhat perplexed. For years, these people had despised him, and now they were giving him gifts? He knew they’d grown more accepting of him through their years of fighting and training together, but he’d never suspected...

He felt tears come to his eyes. They cared! They really, really cared!

“Well, we gotta get going,” Kiba said, “so see you later, Naruto!” He bounded off down the hallway to the stairwell, leaving Naruto and Shino in the dust. Shino raised an eyebrow in what Naruto interpreted as amusement, reached into his own pocket, and drew something out. It was a stuffed ladybug with googly eyes that tinkled musically when shaken. Naruto hugged it to himself along with his other two gifts.

“Thank you!” he yelled to Shino, who was walking sedately down the hall. Shino raised a hand in acknowledgment, then turned the corner into the stairwell. Naruto leaned against the doorframe, happier than he’d been in a long time. “Thank you,” he murmured to himself.

Later that day, as Naruto was having his midmorning ramen, he heard a shy knock on his door. He hurried to answer it, and as he’d guessed it was Hinata.

“Hi, Hinata!” he said cheerfully, blinking when she immediately thrust a package at him. He took it and unwrapped it. Inside were three or four infant-sized jumpsuits in varying shades of orange, with matching cloth diapers.

“Naruto-kun, I... I knitted those myself. I hope you like them,” she said, twiddling her fingers. Naruto grinned.

“I love them!” he said. “Thanks! And thanks again, ‘cause you’re just about the only person in the village who still calls me -kun.” Hinata blushed and looked away. On impulse, Naruto drew her into a hug, an action made difficult by his bulging belly. After a minute, he let her go. She looked at him for a second, face flushed. Then she cupped his face with her hands and kissed him.

It was a chaste kiss, lasting only a second before Hinata released him and fled down the hall. Naruto watched her rush down the stairs, then reentered his apartment and shut the door. His head was spinning as he set Hinata’s gift down on the kitchen table with Kiba and Shino’s gifts.

Hinata... liked girls?

The next knock came as Naruto was boiling water for yet more ramen. Scowling, he turned off the burner and padded to the door, where he was greeted by an enthusiastic Ino followed by what appeared to be a giant floating bouquet.

“Hi Naruto!” she chirped.

“Hi Ino,” he answered, perplexed. “Ah, what--”

“Mind if I come in?” she asked. When Naruto moved automatically to the side she waltzed in, inspecting each area of the apartment carefully. “Lets see...” she murmured. “I’ll put those there, and those here, and maybe use a little of that for right here--”

“Ah, Ino?” Naruto said, but was ignored. The bouquet continued to float, though on closer inspection it appeared to have legs.

“OK, it’s all settled, then,” Ino said, clapping her hands together. “Hey you, bring them over here!”

The bouquet floated in Ino’s general direction, cursing as it bumped into the table. Once it had passed him and he’d gotten over his shock, Naruto was surprised to see a telltale shaggy ponytail hidden beneath the foliage.

“Shikamaru, is that you?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Shikamaru answered, his voice muffled but still audible. Naruto watched Ino curiously as she took various brightly-colored flowers off of the giant pile in Shikamaru’s arms and positioned them in what seemed like completely random places.

“Be sure to move these ones before you cook anything,” Ino said, humming to herself as she scattered some red ones on the stove.

“Ah,” Naruto tried again, “what exactly are you doing?”

“This is a tradition in my family,” Ino said, removing a large bunch of blue flowers and holding them against the window to test their placement. “A woman should be surrounded with beautiful flowers when she’s pregnant, and the baby will grow up to be beautiful too.”

“Uh, OK,” Naruto said. “But how does that work?”

“It’s a tradition,” Ino explained. “It doesn’t have to make sense to work, it just does. And besides, aren’t I living proof that it does work?” Ino tossed her--admittedly gorgeous--hair to drive the point home, then continued her task. Shikamaru sighed.

“You think you could get rid of these weeds in front of my face anytime soon?” he said. “They’re tickling my nose.”

“They’re not weeds, Shikamaru, they’re daffodils,” Ino said, “and if you sneeze on them... you know what’ll happen. Or what won’t happen.”

“But the only reason I came here in the first place was because you were gonna--”

“Your choice.”

The bouquet dipped slightly as Shikamaru gave in.

“God, I hate women.”

“Love you too, Shika-chan.”

A while later, as Naruto was just settling down for his after-lunch nap, he heard another knock on his door. Careful not to disturb the flowers that littered every surface in his apartment, he padded to the front door. On the other side was Chouji, smiling over a large cloth bag. Behind him was another bag, this one even larger. As had the bouquet before it, it appeared to be floating. Used to the routine by now, Naruto stepped aside and let Chouji in. He put his bag down on the table.

“Hey, bring it over here!” he called. The giant floating bag of whatever it was made its way over to the table, cursing as it bumped into it.

“...Shikamaru, is that you again?” Naruto asked.

“Yup,” Shikamaru grumbled as he set his burden down. Chouji untied the knot holding his bag closed and started taking various cans and bottles from it. Naruto picked one up and stared at it, puzzled.

“NatalNin?” he asked.

“This is all health food for your pregnancy,” Chouji said. “It’s important to maintain proper nutrition when you’re pregnant, you know, or else your kid’ll grow up to be weak and puny.” Chouji removed the last of the items from his own bag and began ferrying the items into the cupboards. Shikamaru watched disinterestedly, drawing an irritated glance from Chouji.

“Hey, Shikamaru, you gonna just sit there all day? Help me out with this.”

“Fine,” Shikamaru said, starting to slowly unpack his own burden. “This is such a pain. I’m only here ‘cause I’m you’re friend, anyway.” Naruto felt his high spirits sink slightly at the declaration.

“Stop whining,” Chouji said. “You’re not the one who’s pregnant.”

“Thank god for small favors,” Shikamaru agreed, about halfway finished with his unpacking.

“And anyway, you’re only in such a bad mood because Ino didn’t--”

“Shut up.”

Naruto had only been napping for thirty minutes when he was woken by yet another knock on his door. Grumbling, he made his way to the door. As much as he appreciated the gifts and the thoughts, these people had the worst timing he’d ever seen. His mood wasn’t improved when he opened the door and found Hyuuga Neji scowling at him. Sure, the guy had gotten a lot better over the years, but he was still a jerk occasionally, and today looked to be one of those days.

“Yes?” Naruto said.

“Hello,” Neji answered. He looked over to the stairway and blinked. “You didn’t have to carry it all, idiot.”

“No,” came a voice from the hall. “I told you, Neji, I’ve got it.”

“At least let me take the bedding, Lee,” came another voice, this one female. “It’s falling off the top.”

Naruto peered into the hall. TenTen was walking down the hall, carrying a large number of blankets and pillows, and what appeared to be a small mattress. Beside her was a giant floating pile of yellow-painted boards; Naruto guessed the legs sticking out from the bottom belonged to Rock Lee.

“You gonna let us in or what?” Neji asked, trying to sound civil and failing. Naruto let him in, then went to help Lee. Or, rather, he tried to. Neji stopped him with a hand on his shoulder before he could get out the door. “Don’t even ask,” he said. “He won’t let you. Believe me, I tried.” Naruto looked at him in surprise and realized that the hand on his shoulder was thickly-bound with bandages, as was the wrist.

“What happened to your hand?” Naruto asked.

“Tree fell on me,” Neji said. He gestured to the inside of Naruto’s apartment with his free hand. “So, where do you want this stuff?”

Naruto was tempted to ask what use he could possibly have for a bunch of wood, but decided he didn’t really want to pick a fight, what with himself pregnant and Neji in a bad mood. He looked around his apartment, trying to find room in the clutter for Lee to put the boards down. Finding very little, and with Lee coming closer, he resorted to shoving the table and its accompanying flowers into a corner. And none too soon; as soon as he’d done so, Lee struggled through the door, followed closely by TenTen, who was trying to keep the boards balanced in addition to dealing with her own load.

“Lee--damnit, Lee!” Neji said irritably. “Watch where you’re going--you almost hit the door frame.”

“I can’t see,” Lee admitted.

“That’s why you should’ve let us take some,” TenTen said. “Really, Lee...”

Working together, Naruto, Neji and TenTen managed to guide Lee to the corner Naruto had cleared out earlier, only squishing a bouquet or two of Ino’s carefully-placed flowers. Once all the boards and bedding were safely on the floor, Lee stood up, wiping at his brow.

“Hi, Naruto!” he said cheerfully, if a bit out of breath. “We heard about your, uh, problem, from Gai-sensei.” He gestured to the boards. “So we decided to make you a cradle.”

Naruto was stunned. They’d gone to all that trouble, all that expense, just for him? “Where--Where did you get the wood?” he asked, then wiped at his eyes.

“We chopped it ourselves,” Neji answered.

“You guys...” Naruto said, feeling himself tearing up again. He forced the tears away. He wasn’t going to cry, not now! But then TenTen patted him on the shoulder and they came right back.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, smiling reassuringly. “We learned stuff from this too. Like,” she shot a teasing glance at Neji, “how you shouldn’t try to chop down trees with your chakra alone.”

“How was I supposed to know it was weak on my side?” Neji grumbled. Lee grinned at his long-time rival’s irritation.

“You do have the tools with you, though, don’t you?” he asked. “Though I can understand if you left them behind, what with your poor injured hand and all.”

Neji raised an eyebrow at Lee. “You’ve gotten sassy in your old age,” he said. “And the tools are right here.” He gestured to a bag at his side.

“You’ve just gotten old,” Lee said, then struck a pose. “Come! Let us apply our youthful vigor to this project, so that we may help our friend, who has fallen victim to his own ultramodern attitude!”

“Lee,” TenTen said, separating the boards into piles by size and shape, “you scare me sometimes. Do you realize how much like Gai-sensei you sound?”

“That’s a bad thing?” Lee asked, puzzled.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Neji said, removing the bag from his shoulder. He glanced at Naruto. “It should only take us an hour or so. You should rest. Though I’m not sure you’ll be able to, what with all this racket.” He inclined his head towards his cohorts, who were arguing quietly.

“I still think we should’ve painted them pink,” TenTen said, frowning slightly.

“But what if it turns out to be a boy?” Lee retorted. “No man, no matter how small, wants to be housed in a pink room.”

“Pink is a manly color,” TenTen said. “And anyway, what about Sakura? You like pink when it’s on her.” Her smile took on a teasing edge.

Lee blushed. “Sakura-san’s different. And I still think it should’ve been green.”

Naruto sighed and nodded. “I’ll try,” he said. Neji nodded in return, then bent down next to his teammates.

“You know, this is a stupid argument,” he said. “We’ve already painted them.”

“True,” TenTen said thoughtfully. Naruto left the room, entered his bedroom and sunk down onto the futon. He squirmed around, trying to get himself comfortable.

“But green is the color of youth and vitality! What better color could there be for a baby?” Lee’s exclamation was soon followed by the loud, rhythmic pounding of three hammers working simultaneously.

Naruto groaned and pulled his pillow over his face. Why them? Why him? And most of all, why pregnancy?

The pounding, grating and occasional cursing sounds from his front room kept Naruto from sleeping, which was just as well when he heard yet another knock on his door over the loud noises.

“Yes?” he said as he opened the door, prepared to kill whoever was on the other side. Why couldn’t they just let him get some sleep? That was all he wanted. That was all!

“Hey, Naruto,” Shikamaru said, his hands behind his back. Naruto took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. When that didn’t work he took another. He started to count backwards from ten, but stopped when Shikamaru spoke again.

“I know you’ve probably been trying to get to sleep all day,” he said, “so I’ll make this quick.” With that, he took his hands out from behind his back. Naruto stared at the item he held, dazzled. It was a beautiful mobile made out of multicolored fragments of glass. When it shook or spun, it caught the light wonderfully, spraying a colorful pattern onto the wall.

“It’s not actually glass,” Shikamaru continued. “Just some pieces from old plastic bottles I found. You can hang it above the cradle; the edges aren’t sharp, so even if it does fall, the baby should be all right.”

Naruto stared at him. “Shikamaru?” he asked. Shikamaru blinked.

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you do something like that? All day you’ve been saying, ‘oh, I’m only here because Ino said so.’ Or ‘I’m only here ‘cause Chouji’s my friend.’ So... why?”

Shikamaru looked away, trying to look nonchalant and not quite succeeding. “Well...” he said. “You’re my friend too, right?”

Naruto put his hands to his mouth. He bit his lip. Then he gave into his impulse and grabbed Shikamaru around the waist, hugging him tightly.

“Hey, hey!” Shikamaru protested, holding the mobile out of harm’s way, but Naruto ignored him. Shikamaru was his friend! He couldn’t be irritated anymore; it wasn’t their fault they always showed up just as he was about to do something. He could forgive anyone anything, if they were his friend!

He snuggled closer to Shikamaru and heard him sigh. “Ino’s gonna kill me for this...” he muttered, then slid his free arm around Naruto and hugged him back.

Gai’s team left soon enough, the cradle fully assembled. They had even attached the mobile and scattered a few flowers on the bedding. Naruto gazed at it with a tired smile, sitting on his couch. The afternoon sun shone golden through his window, and he had yet to get any real sleep. Ah, well, he thought, might as well wait until evening.

“But in the meantime,” he said, “it’s ramen time!” He groaned as he attempted to push himself off his ass and into a standing position. After a few tries, his legs gave out and he gave up. He rubbed his abdomen ruefully. What was it about this baby? It had only been a month since he’d found out about his pregnancy, but it felt like the baby had grown enough for three. The thing must’ve gained five pounds just that day!

Naruto’s hand stilled as a horrible thought crossed his mind. Suppose he was having twins? Or even triplets?

“Yo,” said Kakashi, his smiling face only inches from Naruto’s.

Naruto stared at him for a second. Then he screamed.

“What’s wrong?” Kakashi asked, pretending to be hurt. “I kept the mask on, see?”

“Kakashi-sensei, don’t do that!” Naruto panted, still trying to get over the near-heart attack he’d had at his teacher’s sudden appearance.

“Hey, sneaking in is easier and quicker than knocking.” Kakashi eyed Naruto’s semi-helpless state. “And I doubt you’d wanna get up again.”

Naruto sighed. “Kakashi-sensei, can you?” he asked, extending a hand.

“Sure,” said Kakashi, and was just about to pull Naruto to his feet when there was a loud pounding at the door.

“Kakashi! I know you’re in there!”

Kakashi sighed. “Hang on a moment, Naruto,” he said, then made his way to the door and opened it. Gai bounded in, all energy and sparkles.

“So,” he asked, “did it work?”

Naruto eyed him confusedly. “Did what work?”

“My plan!” Gai said, making a quick round of the apartment. Naruto turned to Kakashi.

“Kakashi-sensei, what’s he talking about?”

“Oh, that,” Kakashi answered. “This whole thing was his idea.”

“You mean, the gifts?”

“Yup.”

“Hmm...” Gai said, scrutinizing one of Naruto’s cupboards. “NatalNin, that’s good.” He shut the cupboard and crossed the room to the cradle. “I see they went with my suggestion for the color.” He shook it gently. “And it’s well-put-together.” He turned to Kakashi and smiled glintily. “Looks like I win, Kakashi! That makes it 72-71!” With that, he gave Naruto a thumbs-up and left. Kakashi rolled his eyes.

“Sure, whatever,” he said, digging around in his waist pouch. “Ah, here it is. Congratulations on the new arrival.”

He handed Naruto a small, rectangular package wrapped in brown paper. Naruto tore the wrapping open, then stared at the item inside.

“Kakashi-sensei,” he said.

“Yes?” Kakashi asked, his single visible eye shining happily.

“What kind of pervert do you think I am?” Naruto said, clenching his hand into a fist. If only he could get up, he’d kick Kakashi’s ass!

“What?” Kakashi face fell. “You don’t like it?”

“Of course I don’t like it!” Naruto yelled. “What kind of sicko gives their student a book called Come Come Pregnancy?”

“What’s wrong with it?” he asked. “Pregnant people get horny too, you know. I just thought you might want some instruction on how to do it without exhausting yourself too much, especially if you and Sasuke finally get over your little argument.”

“Instruction? Instruction? Why would I want to have sex now? And even if I did, no way in hell would I do it with that jerk Sa--”

Naruto was interrupted by a curt knock at his door. He exhaled an exasperated breath and looked at Kakashi helplessly. Kakashi sighed.

“Want me to get it for you?” he said. Naruto nodded. Kakashi made his way to the door and opened it, his broad frame blocking Naruto’s view of whoever was at the door. Naruto narrowed his eyes as he saw Kakashi’s back tense in shock. Was it an enemy, someone planning to get him while he was pregnant and helpless? He relaxed somewhat as he saw Kakashi do so, but remained alert. Kakashi had a quick, quiet conversation with whoever was at the door, then turned to Naruto and smiled.

“Well, Naruto,” he said, “I’m off. See you around.”

He slipped past the person at the door. The baby in Naruto’s belly suddenly kicked at him, painfully so. He doubled over, clutching his stomach. The door shut, but didn’t look up: if Kakashi had left him alone with this person, it had to be someone safe. He rubbed his belly, trying to calm the baby down. Whoever it was walked over to him, stopped, then sat down on the coffee table in front of him.

“Hey, idiot, you OK?”

Naruto froze. Only one person ever called him idiot anymore, and that voice... He slowly looked up and found himself staring into the eyes of the person he’d been avoiding for a month.

Uchiha Sasuke had come to visit.