Sakura sighed. Who would’ve thought that buying a nursing bra would be so hard? Sure, she knew Naruto’s cup and band size, that was easy. But what color? And there were so many different types, each one promising something miraculous. Since when could a bra improve chakra flow?
She crossed her arms and considered the problem logically. Fact one: she had no idea which of these so-called “benefits” would be most beneficial for her teammate. Fact two: she had no idea which of the “benefits” Naruto would prefer to have. Fact three: she’d just gotten paid for her latest mission with Kakashi and Sasuke. Conclusion: she’d buy one of each and let Naruto sort them out later. He’d need more than one, anyway.
Of course, that was assuming Naruto remained a woman after the birth. Sakura was reasonably sure he would--he’d been stuck in the form long before he’d gotten pregnant, after all. Still, a part of her nagged that she shouldn’t waste so much hard-earned money on someone who might not even be able to use it.
“And he wouldn’t appreciate it anyway!” Inner Sakura added, without conviction.
Sakura stretched her arms over her head as she contemplated the decision once more, then started taking down one of each type of bra and placing them in her basket. Naruto would appreciate the effort. He seemed to appreciate anything she did for him, especially now. His thank-you’s when she brought him lunch occasionally were... enthusiastic, to say the least.
“That’s because he still wants to--” Sakura interrupted her inner voice by singing a song to herself, a song her own mother had sung to her when she’d been a little girl.
“Getsuyoobi waratteru, Gera gera gera gera waratteru O-tsukisama wa ki ga hen da O-tsukisama wa ki ga hen da.”
She hummed the next verse as she deposited the last bra into her basket, pleased that Inner Sakura seemed to be relaxed for the moment. Her thoughts turned from Naruto himself to his child, and she smiled. How exciting, that one of her teammates was going to be a father! Well, maybe a mother. Either way, a parent! She took a moment to contemplate her own future, and her smile fell somewhat. Would she ever have children herself? She wanted to, but so many things stood in the way.
One: she was a ninja. That meant she could die before ever having children, or an injury could leave her barren. And there was always the question of fertility anyway; her menstrual cycle had always been a bit irregular, some months not showing its face at all, a function of her extremely low proportion of body fat. Second: she didn’t want to give up her career to have children, but after a pregnancy she might never get back into top form. Not only that, but someone would have to be home with the kids, and since she couldn’t envision herself married to anyone not a ninja, that would force one of them to retire, possibly causing problems within the marriage.
Third, and most specific: Uchiha Sasuke, the guy she’d loved for years and had never quite given up on, was not available, and possibly never had been.
“’Cause Naruto stole him!” Inner Sakura raged. “Why the hell are you doing stuff like this for him when he stole your man?”
“Because,” she answered aloud, “Sasuke-kun’s not the only leaf in the forest.” She smiled as she thought of Lee, who’d been pursuing her for nearly as long as she’d been pursuing Sasuke. “Maybe I’ll give him a shot,” she murmured as she approached the counter to pay for the items.
The saleslady raised an eyebrow when Sakura dumped her burden onto the counter, then started ringing each item separately and stuffing them into a large paper bag.
“Expecting, are we?” the saleslady asked.
“Not for a while,” Sakura answered, still preoccupied with Lee and the possibilities he presented.
“Oh, really?” The saleslady paused a moment. “When’s it due?”
“Actually, I don’t know. We don’t know when the fertilization occurred.”
“Is that so.” The saleslady’s tone was disapproving, and Sakura brought herself back to the present. The woman sighed as she placed the last bra into the bag. “It’s a shame. Young people these days, just can’t wait. How old are you, dear?”
“Sixteen,” Sakura answered automatically. The woman clicked her tongue as she added up the total for the purchase.
“Waitaminute,” Inner Sakura rumbled, newly wakened from her nap. “What is she thinking?”
“Ma’am,” Sakura said, “I’m not the one who’s pregnant. These are for a friend. Who’s much older. And a woman.”
“Oh, really,” said the saleslady. “That’ll be 5000.”
“Smooth, Sakura,” Inner Sakura said sarcastically as Sakura handed over the money. “Still, what the hell is with this lady? Does she really think I’d ever let myself get pregnant? Only Naruto would do something like that. Stupid boy.”
She giggled at the absurdity of the statement, causing the saleslady to back away from her as much as the counter would let her. She smiled menacingly, then leaned over the counter. The saleslady cowered, her hand hovering over the panic button. Then Sakura took her bag and left the counter. A quick look over her shoulder confirmed that the saleslady was still quivering.
“Serves her right,” Inner Sakura crowed. Sakura made her way to the front of the store and was about to exit when she caught sight of a familiar face in the maternity section. She hurried to his side, clutching her bag closely so as not to forget it.
“Iruka-sensei!” she called. He smiled at her in greeting.
“Haruno Sakura,” he said. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Nope,” Sakura answered. She waited. Iruka waited. The silence extended into uncomfortability. Sakura thought about dropping a smoke bomb and escaping in the confusion, as she doubted Iruka would have one on him.
“Hell no,” Inner Sakura growled. “You started this, you’re gonna finish it, damnit!”
“So, Iruka-sensei,” she said, “why’re you here? Shopping for Naruto too?”
“Huh?” he asked. “Oh, yes.” He held up a light-blue maternity dress he’d been eyeing in the silence. “Actually, I could use your help. Do you think this would match Naruto’s eyes?”
Sakura took a close look. “Yeah, I think so,” she said, “but it’s too small. He’s not twelve years old, you know.”
Iruka sighed. “Right. I sometimes forget that.” He placed the dress back on the rack and picked out another, larger one. “This one?”
“That’d be better.”
Iruka folded the dress over his arm and moved onto another rack. “I wonder if he’d like an orange one...” he murmured. Sakura silently observed him finger through the various brightly-colored dresses and such.
“Why don’t you have kids of your own, Iruka-sensei?” she finally asked.
“What makes you say that?” he asked, holding a yellowish-orange muumuu up to the light. “And do you think this’ll clash with Naruto’s skin?”
“Not at all,” Sakura answered. “And I’m asking because... well, I don’t really know. I’ve just always thought that you’d be a good parent. And right now I'm getting the sense that you really want them. So why not?”
Iruka sighed and folded the muumuu over his arm with the others in his collection. “It’s... hard to explain, Sakura. You know I'm an orphan, right?”
Sakura nodded. Though it hadn’t been common knowledge in the village, Naruto had let it slip once while ranting about how great Iruka was. Iruka glanced at her and continued.
“Well, I’m also a ninja, and despite being a teacher safe here in the village, the mortality rate is very high.” Sakura nodded again. She was beginning to see the point. “Well, suppose I have kids. One day, I get sent off on a mission and don’t come back. What happens to the kids?”
“They grow up without a father,” Sakura answered, fully understanding her former teacher’s predicament. Iruka nodded.
“And possibly a mother as well. Do you see, Sakura? I can’t put my kids through what I went through. It’d be selfish and cruel.”
Iruka hugged his dresses to himself, head bowed. Sakura remained silent, mulling over her teacher’s words. Maybe it was cruel for ninjas to have children.
“Or maybe,” Inner Sakura said, “this guy is just a loony.”
“So that’s why you put so much effort into teaching, Iruka-sensei?” she asked to distract herself from her inner monologue. Iruka looked up at her, wiping a stray tear from his eye.
“Yeah,” he said. “Here, I’m gonna go pay for these.”
“I’ll go with you,” Sakura said, falling into step beside him. “Especially Naruto, huh? ‘Cause he’s an orphan too?”
Iruka nodded. “I tried to talk to Sasuke, too, but he wouldn’t let me in. You know how he is.”
“I know.”
“Speaking of Naruto and Sasuke, do you happen to know what their fight was about?” Iruka asked as they got to the counter. The saleslady eyed Sakura warily, but took the dresses without comment. “I know Naruto’s still upset about it, but he won’t say why, or even what they were fighting over.”
“Um,” Sakura wibbled, her mind racing. What should she tell him? On the one hand, if Iruka didn’t know already, it’d be a huge betrayal of trust to tell him, especially if Naruto didn’t want him to know. On the other hand...
“That’ll be 7000,” said the saleslady, breaking Sakura out of her reverie. Iruka handed over the money and took the bag. The two of them walked out of the store, where Iruka paused and turned to Sakura curiously.
“Sakura? You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Huh? Oh, right. Their fight.” It was the moment of truth. She’d never quite figured out what the other hand was. Fortunately, Inner Sakura provided the answer at that moment.
“On the other hand,” Inner Sakura raged, “Naruto stole your man!”
“Hell yeah to a little revenge,” Sakura answered quietly.
“What was that?” Iruka asked. Sakura smiled sweetly at him.
“Oh, nothing. And to answer your question: Naruto and Sasuke are mad at each other because Sasuke is the father of Naruto’s child.”
Sakura closed her eyes and braced herself for the explosion she was sure to come.
“So he did, did he?” Sakura peeked one eye open and looked at Iruka. He was staring off into the distance, hands clutching his bag tightly.
“Ah, Iruka-sensei, don’t do anything rash--” He turned to her, and the smile on his face gave her the chills.
“Don’t worry, I won’t. I know how to control my temper, Sakura.”
“Yeah right,” Inner Sakura said.
“Would you happen to know where Sasuke is?” Iruka continued, a deadly aura forming around him. “I’d like to... talk to him a bit about responsibility.”
Sakura couldn’t move. The killing aura in the area was so strong that a big burly mastiff on the other side of the street ran away, whimpering. Iruka’s eyes, focused solely on her, could probably guide ships to shore, if they dared. What had she done now? All she wanted was a little bit of revenge on Naruto, and somehow she’d consigned Sasuke to death... or worse.
“You know where he is, don’t you, Sakura?” Iruka hissed. “Tell me. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt him. Too much. Certainly not enough to kill,” he thought for a moment, “though crippling is a distinct possibility.”
“He’s at Naruto’s place!” Sakura blurted out, then covered her mouth in panic.
“Thanks!” Iruka said sweetly, then waved to her and bounded off. Sakura shook for a few moments, completely overwhelmed by the aura of fear and its sudden removal. Once she got herself semi-under control, Inner Sakura spoke up.
“You idiot!” she screamed. “Now you’ve gotten Sasuke killed! Think he’ll ever ask you out now? I bet he’s--”
“Shut up!” she said aloud. “I have to think.”
OK. The facts. One: there was no way she could take on Iruka with that aura, so stopping him was out of the question. Two: Sasuke, though, might stand a fighting chance, if he wasn’t taken by surprise. Three: she knew Naruto’s phone number.
Conclusion: call Naruto’s apartment and tell Sasuke to get the hell out of there.
Decision made, she scuttled off to find the nearest pay phone, praying she would make it in time.
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