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Boat Drinks, Part 1: Gourry Gone Fishin'

Well, it's only up to you, no one else can teach you to
Go out and have some fun
Though, if you want to stay alive
Evade the big nose dive
Be a comedian

And take a holiday, you need a holiday
Find a far-off wonderland
Where you might regain command of your life today
Take a holiday, you need a holiday
Grab a pack and hit the trail
Take a sail and wind up in some moonlit bay

--Jimmy Buffett, "Holiday"  

After long periods of work, people commonly travel to a far away place to pretend that their real life doesn’t exist.  Lina Inverse felt this particular need—she had been legitimately working for so long it pained her to think of it.  Now that she had successfully thwarted the world’s destruction via Dark Star, Lina wanted nothing more than to just lay off the whole heroine bit for a while.  Around her, the port town bustled with life, the markets invigorated by the trickle of goods that had begun to make their way down from the barrier lands Lina called home.  She munched on something sweet and contemplated her options.  Now she could stay here to travel and explore, or she could go “home.”  Home was of course nowhere in particular, but it tended to be within what used to be the barrier lands.

“Lina?  Oh Miss Lina,” Amelia waved, approaching her through the lively crowd.  “Mr. Gourry is looking for you.  He says that he found a boat home,” she smiled.  Lina smiled and swallowed the last of her food.

“I’ll be right there.  Tell him not to agree to a cent until I’m with him,” she called back, and stuffed some coins in her satchel. 

“Don’t worry, Mr. Zelgadis is with him already,” Amelia added.  “He won’t let Gourry make a bad deal.”

“Good, then I can buy another one or three of these cream puff things,” Lina piped.  “You should really try them, Amelia.”  She gestured for the princess to follow her, and they wove through the crowd to a small pastry shop on the street corner.  Inside, the heat of the ovens welcomed them from the cold sea air.  With a wink, the baker greeted her.

“More?” he asked jovially.  He had seen the same small red-haired young lady enter the shop several times this morning.  Lina nodded enthusiastically like a child, and indicated that Amelia would have a few as well.  The baker stooped to gather several cream puffs from the glass display case. Amelia stretched and took in the scent of freshly baked pastries.

“Everything has gotten so busy,” said the baker.  “All these foreign traders sure are bringing in lots of business.  Now I don’t have time to take that vacation I wanted,” he sighed.  “It would have been nice to see the wonders of the Nani islands.”

“The what islands?”  Amelia asked, puzzled.

“Nani.”

“What?”

“Nani.”

“What?”

“Exactly.”

Amelia, still puzzled, tried to make sense of the conversation while Lina pressed on.

“Where are these islands,” she questioned as she paid for the confections. 

“To the north, where it is spring all the time,” he replied wistfully.  In his mind he conjured the sight of thousands of palm trees, scantily clad women serving mixed drinks, orange sunsets, scantily clad women on the beach . . . basically, a lot of scantily clad women.  “The air there smells like flowers, everyone is polite, and you can relax on the balmy sand beaches.  Rumor has it that the islands are blessed by the gods themselves,” the baker explained, clearly yearning to be there.  “Well, that’s what I’ve heard.  I haven’t been there myself,” he sighed.  Sounded like fun. 

“Where can I find out more,” Lina asked, nudging a bronze piece toward the baker.

“There’s a travel office right before you enter the port.  Talk to the man with the brightly colored shirt and gray hair.  You’ll know him when you see him.”

“Thank you,” Lina winked, and nudged the bronze piece back to herself.

“Hey!  I thought that was mine!” Cried the baker. 

“I could have guessed that for myself, mister,” she replied nonchalantly.  Any dolt could tell her to see a travel agent.  She wanted to know more about the supposed ‘protection of the gods’ gifted to the islands.  That usually meant that there was a very powerful artifact or spell at work, which in turn meant lots of treasure.  “C’mon Amelia, let’s go.”

Amelia had lost herself in deciphering the meaning of the island’s name and had come up with a list of acronyms, anagrams, and a drawing of herself saving the world—all of which she left behind as Lina dragged her by the wrist at lightning speed.  

~*~

Meanwhile, Zelgadis and Gourry were enjoying a quiet, girls-free moment on the dock.

“I’m sure glad this is over,” Gourry exclaimed, casting a line.  “I don’t think Lina’s sister is going to punish her now, do you?”  He asked Zelgadis.  Saving the world had only been incidental to Gourry on this recent adventure—his top priority more or less hovered between “obtain food” and “protect Lina.”

“It seems to me that Lina will have to cross paths with her sister again someday,” replied the chimera, watching his lure bob in the calm water.  “But yes I’m glad this nonsense is over too.  I must continue on my quest,” he insisted.

“Staying here?”

“These lands have been mostly ignorant of magic for over a thousand years, and I’ve not seen any signs of experimentation with chimera science.  The likelihood of finding a cure in these lands is pretty slim,” he said dolefully.  Finding a cure had been of the utmost importance in Zelgadis Greywords’ life for so long he hardly knew what to do aside from searching for it.  In fact, he had begun to think that he wasn’t ever going to actually find a cure for his condition at all.  This of course wouldn’t stop him for a second—living the life of a “heartless, mystical swordsman” appealed to him greatly.

Gourry just shrugged and tested his line idly.  He didn’t question Zelgadis’ need to needlessly search for a cure, but he also didn’t get the point.  Something tugged on the line.

“Alright, I got a catch!” he cheered and began to reel it in.  On the other end, the fish struggled mightily, resisting capture with all its icthyian might.  “It’s a big one,” Gourry commented, fighting back.  Gourry Gabriev had grown up in a fishing town in the Elmekian Empire, but had not learned the sport until he had met Lina.  At the time, he had appointed himself her escort to Atlas City, but her temper made him wary of continuing to be her bodyguard.  However, when she taught him to catch fish for himself she dropped the tough girl act a little.  That’s when he decided that traveling with Lina wasn’t a bad gig—although he still maintained that fish guts were gross.  His line pulled itself taught in his struggle, and lines of sweat trickled down his neck—it must be huge!

Zelgadis found himself cheering Gourry on in his battle against the unseen fish—the urge to aid a comrade battling the very forces of nature is deep-rooted male instinct, after all. 

“Come on, Gourry, catch it and you won’t have to pay for dinner tonight,” he encouraged.

“FREE DINNER,” Gourry roared, tugging on the line with all his might.  His perpetual hunger and brute strength began to overpower the fish, and the line began to give.

~*~

Elsewhere on the pier, Lina nosed through a brochure.  Amelia looked around the office, admiring the tribal artifacts that Captain Luncheon James used to decorate the walls.  Masks, spears, and floral prints hung from the walls loudly, and all looked fierce yet welcoming at the same time. 

“Mr. James, you have such a nice office,” Amelia commented, examining a statue.  Unbeknownst to her, it represented a god of things that would make her blush.  Suddenly feeling a bit awkward, she put it down hastily and turned to the Captain. 

“Please just call me Jim,” he insisted, brushing his shoulder length gray hair under his broad-rimmed hat.  He wore a loud flower-print shirt, knee-length slacks, and open-toed sandals.  His skin had been leathered by years of sun and wind, and he wore a perpetual smile.  Lina looked up from the brochure, questions in her eyes.

“It says that the islands are guarded by ‘the power of the gods;’ what does that mean?”

Jim rubbed his chin thoughtfully and explained: “The Nani islands enjoy idyllic weather year-round and are bestowed with wonders of nature.  It is the belief of the Nani people that this comes to them through the pleasure of the gods themselves.  It is rumored that the gods gave them a magical stone that would protect the island, and give abundance to whomever possesses it.”  He turned away and murmured almost inaudibly: “It’s all a very nasty business.  Here, there’s more about it in this one,” he added in a normal tone and handed her yet another travel brochure.  Lina nodded, narrowing her eyes.  If the stone had political significance, red tape certainly made examining it for herself difficult.  Her eyes flicked back to the collection of pamphlets.

“You can’t possibly be asking this much,” she growled, drawing out her abacus.  “How about this?”  She demonstrated, flicking the beads to read a much more desirable choice.

“This is the last time I can make the trip before the weather gets bad.  Have you noticed the chill in the air?”  He extended a weatherworn hand and rearranged the sum to his liking.  “I think that’s fair.”

“Well there has to be some way for us to get a decent fare—we have to be able to enjoy these ‘magical relaxing islands’ when we get there.  How am I going to afford a decent inn?”

“No no, accommodations are part of the package.”  He forced a grin. 

Lina frowned, inspecting brochure after brochure.  They set the voyage up to be a vacation in itself—food, activities, lodgings at the eventual destination, guided tours, and of course, numerous on-deck bars.  She supposed that the local sailors guilds had come up with this scheme to fatten their pockets.  “Let’s walk and talk,” she said slowly, gesturing toward the door.  With a trademark Inverse glare, she added: “I’m sure an arrangement can be reached.” 

~*~

Outside on the dock, Gourry still struggled with his catch.  His bangs matted themselves against his sweaty face, his arms began to shake, and his boots dug into the wooden dock.  Zelgadis held Gourry back by the belt in an effort to prevent him from tumbling into the water.   

“You sure that you didn’t catch the line on a boat” Zelgadis growled. 

“No, it’s definitely a fish,” Gourry grunted as a giant fin broke through the surface of the water.  Zel began to get a little nervous.  “Okay, let’s get this over with.  This is my final strike,” Gourry exclaimed, pulling on the rod with all his might.  The fish jumped at that moment, and hurtled toward the dock in that magnificent way that fish aren’t supposed to fly.

It was a really, really big fish.

Zelgadis’ eyes grew wide as the shadow of Gourry’s unlikely catch loomed over him.  His legs moved in place, his arms waved, but he went nowhere.  The fish, however, did a rather nice job of landing right on top of him.  It crashed to the dock with a wet sound and Zelgadis’ cry of frustration and anguish. 

“Hey, Zel, you all right under there,” Gourry called.  In response, there was only the muffled complaint of Zelgadis as he wrestled with the fish, which was quite unhappy to be out of its watery home.  A crowd had gathered, and all oohed and ahhed respectfully for the size of Gourry’s catch.  Lina Inverse pushed her way through to greet her friend.

“That’s quite a large fish you have there, Gourry.”

“I caught it myself,” he beamed.

“Mrf,” Zelgadis added gloomily from underneath the still-fighting denizen of the sea.

“Say, how much do you think that’s worth,” Lina wondered slyly.  Perking up, she began to jump and wave.  “Cap’n Jim!  Oh Cap’n Jim!  I’ve got half our fare,” she shouted.

Luncheon James swam through the gathered crowd with a jolly smile.  “Why, young lady,” he chuckled.  “Why didn’t you say that you were married?”

Immediately, she began to blush and wave her hands in protest: “No, no we’re not—“

“I’ll give you the family fare, then,” Jim continued.

“--Not going to take advantage of your kindness unless you insist,” she finished with a grin.  “Now how about we exchange this fine fish for an additional discount,” she insisted.  Eyes growing wide and a blush growing on her cheeks, she added: “We’re just starting out, you know.”

Zelgadis shoved the fish in question off of himself and began to grumble about his cursed luck.  Amelia stepped up to wipe the fish slime off him with a handkerchief.

“Two honeymooners,” Jim exclaimed stupidly.  Both Amelia and Zelgadis opened their mouths to protest, but where stopped by Lina’s glare.  They could literally see dollar signs in her eyes. 

“I’ll take that fish, and see you all at the dock at four o’clock,” Jim decided with a wave.  “I’ll have my boys pick that up soon,” he added and left.  The crowd quickly dissipated, leaving Lina, Gourry, Amelia and Zelgadis alone.  A fight shortly broke out.

“What have you gotten us into now,” Zelgadis immediately accused.

“When did we get married,” Gourry wondered.

“But I have to go home,” Amelia protested.

Lina crossed her arms and grumbled.  “First Gourry, we’re not married.  I just said that so we could get a cheaper fare to the Nani Islands.”

“Well that’s a relief,” he said.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Lina screamed, kicking Gourry in the shins.  Zelgadis sighed.  Another stupid adventure.  He would have no part of it this time.  Lina just looked at him, pulled out a crinkled brochure and handed it to him, pointing to a paragraph of text.  Zelgadis read it over.

The Nani (“Beautiful”) Islands are an idyllic location for your getaway.  Restful surroundings and pleasant weather make Nani the place to stay on your family vacation or honeymoon… He skimmed the bits describing the rare and exotic flowers, exciting activities, and beaches… You can truly see that the mystical Eye of Mana blesses these sleepy isles.  Given to the tribes of the island by the gods themselves, the Eye of Mana is said to contain the benevolent will of the Gods themselves.

Fanatical interest perked, Zelgadis stood up and agreed that yes, maybe it was time for a vacation.  They needed to get to Nani as fast as they possibly could. 

“It’s a plan, then.  Everybody go get supplies and meet at dock thirty-six at four o’clock.”

“Thirty-six?”  Amelia asked, recalling an earlier conversation with the captain.

“No wait, my bad, thirty-seven,” Lina corrected.  “Come on honey,” Lina grinned evilly and dragged Gourry by the ear.

Zelgadis turned to Amelia, and Amelia to Zelgadis.

“They’re so weird,” they agreed in unison, and wandered in the direction of the market.

On to Part 2

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