Constantly searchin'
Oh my eyes have seen some horizons
And I've crossed the ocean for more than just thrills
No I'm not the first
Won't be the last
You lust for the future
But treasure the past
Jimmy Buffet, “Barometer Soup”
Four o’clock came sooner than expected, and the gang found themselves congregated at dock thirty-seven armed with supplies. Lina, Gourry, and Amelia had an assortment of light clothes, lotion to soothe sunburns, darkened glasses, swimming gear, snorkeling gear, a contraption to detect hidden metal on the beach, several travel guides and of course, towels. Zelgadis, however, came prepared for a journey through hell: tents, hiking boots, various weapons, camouflage, phrase books to communicate in native Nani (including such useful tough-guy lines as “Fear my might,” and “Yeah well my dad can beat up your dad”), and camp rations.
“You’re not serious about this are you, Lina,” Zelgadis accused grumpily as he perused their supplies.
“Oh I’m serious,” Lina yawned. “About taking a break. Relax, Zel. It’s a little trip to some islands for some fun, and we’ll take a look at that eye thing and see what the gods can’t do about your little problem. You didn’t need to prepare for a one-man war, you know.”
“Don’t worry,” Amelia whispered, leaning to Lina: “I got him some things when he wasn’t looking.” Zelgadis ground his teeth irritably.
“Zel, just go with it. It’s probably less painful that way,” Gourry suggested as Lina delivered the requisite elbow to his midsection. Zelgadis turned away irritably and stewed. Lina just looked at Gourry and shrugged. Zel would come around eventually. He could be a fun guy at times as long as nobody bothered to tell him that he was having a good time. They briefly inspected the captain’s ship—the Blue Heaven—and determined it to be quite seaworthy. He probably had sponsorship from somebody rather rich to run a ship of this size: it could easily be used to transport goods as well as people over vast distances at sea. Amelia admired the angelic carving on the ship’s bow while the rest of the ship’s passengers arrived and began to mill around the dock. Lina, Gourry, and Amelia began to mingle and see what they could find about their destination while Zel moped by himself.
“Oh yes its lovely,” said a woman. “I’ve taken two trips now with Captain Jim. It’s always so nice and I have so much fun! Of course it costs an arm and a leg,” she added importantly. “Fortunately my family is well-off,” she smirked, fanning.
“My family has a little money,” Amelia said modestly. “But I’m paying my own way.”
Elsewhere, a pot-bellied, mustached man approached Gourry. “I see you’ve come with a girl,” he grinned lewdly. “The islands, they’re good for that if ya know what I mean. The atmosphere just really puts them in the mood eh?”
Gourry stammered “I uh… Lina and I aren’t really…”
“Hey Gourry, they’re starting to board! Help me with this stuff,” Lina hollered, tugging on their luggage. Relieved to be distracted from the greasy man beside him, Gourry eagerly ran to help her. He extended an arm and took their all-purpose traveling sack, which was now filled to the brim with vacation necessities. It showed signs of its age: the fabric was frayed around the drawstring, and so much of it had been patched up it was hard to tell what the original material even was. Lina smiled as he hoisted it over his shoulder. She gave him a thumbs-up and walked towards the boarding ramp jauntily.
“I think we’ve been needing a holiday,” she sighed. “All that prophecy stuff makes a girl tired, you know?”
“Say Lina,” Gourry started cautiously. “Why did you say we were married again?”
“I told you, so we could get the discount fare. If I’d known ahead of time I would have dressed you up like my dear darling sister Lala.”
“I guess being married to you isn’t so bad then,” Gourry conceded absentmindedly. In return, he got elbowed in the gut again. Getting all the passengers on-board turned into a business not unlike herding cattle. Sweaty, crowded, and impatient, the mass of people slowly filed up the wooden ramp and into the ship. Bored shipmates hoisted luggage over their shoulders and escorted people to their quarters brusquely. After a few minutes of being jostled around, Lina and company were led to an empty room in the depths of the ship. It was just large enough to accommodate four people: there were no beds, mirrors, sinks, or any sort of amenity whatsoever except for a layer of hay on the floor.
“Da discount suite,” said the sailor tartly. “You’s is special ‘coz we changed the hay today.” He literally spat the last word into the hallway. Snorting something back into his sinuses, the grimy sailor stalked down the darkened, musty hall. The heavy door shut behind them.
“Real relaxing, Lina,” Zelgadis snorted derisively, noting their Spartan quarters.
“Eek! Was that a rat?” Amelia gripped Zelgadis’ cape and wrung her hands in it. “Miss Lina, I don’t think this is very sanitary.”
“Oh it’s not that bad,” Lina assured them. “I’ve done this before.”
“When,” chimed the other three.
“I’d rather not get into it. Now,” she clapped: “let’s get settled in and then go up for some food!” Everyone sighed and began to pull bedrolls and pillows from their respective luggage. Lina claimed the spot in the middle of the room, as it was most evenly covered with hay and in her summation the least likely spot for rats. Amelia settled in to her left, Gourry to her right, and Zelgadis by the far wall. Lina shucked off her shoulder guards, cape, and gloves and left them on a pile over her bedroll. Gourry followed suit with his armor.
“Time for dinner,” Gourry grinned. “I heard that they’d be preparing traditional Nani food tonight.” He raised an eyebrow expectantly and rubbed his hands together. Of course, Gourry had absolutely no idea what traditional Nani food consisted of—for all he knew it could be raw grubs and bird vomit—but he was excited all the same. It was dinner, after all. Facing each other, Lina and Gourry exchanged a wink, squared their shoulders, and charged out the door in full hunger mode. Amelia shrugged and followed with Zelgadis trailing behind.
Upstairs in the dining room of the Blue Heaven a feast had been laid out, buffet-style. Roast pig, fish, fruit, and various things wrapped in seaweed laid bubbling on their plates. Barrels of fruity wines were brought up from the stores and tapped. A stage had been constructed, and was decorated with palm fronds, flowers, streamers, and a collection of seashells. Scents of simmering delight swam into Lina’s nostrils, tempting her hunger further. A little white sign reading: “the buffet will be open in 20 minutes,” teased her. She swallowed hard and tried not to tear down the entrance door and devour the tables whole. Gourry looked deeply into her eyes pitifully.
“It’s…tragic,” he moaned, grasping her hands in his.
“I know,” Lina sniffed, her eyes growing watery. “But together,”
“Together,” he echoed. The air grew sparkly.
“We’ll endure!”
Zelgadis produced an umbrella and unfurled it to shade himself and Amelia from the unnatural rain of sakura petals that suddenly flooded the room. This show of misery continued until a uniformed little man wallowed through the line that had formed in the hall allowed them into the buffet. Those who have heard the mighty thunder of bison as they stampede over the Great Plains probably would have noted more than a few similarities as Lina and Gourry charged the buffet line. They had filled their plates, seated, and begun gorging themselves (and gouging each other) by the time most of the guests reached the spread. Amelia and Zelgadis joined the feeding frenzy at the table. When Lina resorted to snatching a few things off Amelia’s plate, she too joined the fray. Zelgadis rolled his eyes and counted on his demonic speed to keep his dinner out of the reach of the gruesome twosome and their royal protégé. This scene continued for a good half an hour before an unsettlingly tall stack of plates teetered above the table, and the gang pushed their chairs away, belts loosened and guts stuffed. Relaxed, Lina sat back and took in the atmosphere of the room.
“This was a good idea,” Gourry sighed approvingly.
Lina raised her head from where it hung limply over the back of the chair. “Yeah. No prophesies, no quests, no work. Just fun. And you and I can finally get around to—“
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” boomed the voice of the captain from the stage. “I hope you’re enjoying the meal. The fish is courtesy of Mr. Inverse,” he paused as a round of applause broke out. The spotlight turned and focused on Gourry. “That’s our man right there. Big applause for Gourry.”
Gourry turned and looked sharply at Lina.
“I um, kind of gave him my name, dear,” she grinned murderously. “Smile and wave. You don’t know any of these people, so it doesn’t matter.” Gourry stood, waved nicely then sat back down crossly.
“You owe me, Lina,” he said through narrowed eyes.
“Whatever,” Lina replied with a wave of her hand. “I think this whole vacation will be worth it. We just pretend for a little bit, then we go have a good time and go home with exotic treasure. Maybe even turn a profit!”
Zelgadis on the other hand had trouble restraining his laughter and ended up blowing bubbles in his mixed drink when he could hold it no longer. Amelia looked at Lina disapprovingly and Gourry resignedly took a swig from his mug of beer.
“Tonight we have a little taste of the entertainment you can find on the Nani islands. Please welcome the Shokka Kon dance troupe,” announced Luncheon Jim, clapping proudly.
Six dark skinned or heavily tanned women slid onstage clad in grass skirts and coconut bras, and immediately gained the attention of every male in the room. Captain Jim retreated from the stage and wove his way through the room to sit at an empty table directly behind Lina’s gang. A thumping tune played by the band set the girls in motion and they began their first dance of the evening.
“I’m sorry I have to subject you guys to this,” he said privately to Lina’s table.
“No it’s fine,” Gourry protested. Another elbow in the gut.
“This is really nothing like their traditional dance. It’s just cheap titillation for the tourists,” he sighed apologetically. “The things you do for money, right?” He looked knowingly at Lina Inverse, who nodded cautiously. “Enjoy the show. I’ll get you guys some more boat drinks,” he decided and got up.
One of the dancers missed a step, causing a reaction in the crowd. She recovered with a broad smile and continued with the piece. Drums thrummed faster. Feet darted over the stage floor like pouncing cats. Sweat glistened on their bodies. It was quite a show.
“I don’t like it,” Zelgadis muttered to Lina. “That one has been eyeing the captain like a hawk since she got on stage,” he observed. The dancer in question followed the moves of the dance precisely as one could, but it all seemed rather robotic. Where her companions flowed with the rhythm like dolphins through water, she jerked and hopped nervously like a falcon defending a recent kill. “She missed her mark when the captain went up to get our drinks.”
“Well what does that mean,” she whispered back.
“I don’t know but we should be on our guard,” he warned. “You got that, Gourry?”
“Uh-huh. Guard. Got it.” Now for once, Gourry did get it. He had been getting it for a while now, but hadn’t figured to pass along the information to Lina or Zel. You see the bad dancer had “mean eyes”, and Gourry knew what that meant. Nevertheless, he didn’t let the fact that a suspicious woman had been glaring daggers at the captain of the vessel ruin his enjoyment of five other rather “talented” young dancers.
Zelgadis shook his head. Luncheon James returned with brightly colored drinks with the little umbrellas on top and distributed them cheerfully. Enthralled audience members clapped to the beat.
“Here you are,” he offered. Lina gladly accepted a pińa colada and stirred it idly with the straw.
“How did you get into tourism if you don’t seem exactly enthralled with the trappings of it,” she questioned with a nod toward the jiggling women onstage.
“It’s been the family business for two centuries now,” he replied. “I love the sea and I love sailing—tourists are a small price to pay for doing what I love,” he smiled weakly. Lina sipped her drink and thought to herself that something else was going on. The drums stopped.
“Hey now everybody,” announced the lead dancer. “I want you all to join in on this one. When Lana over there waves the red rattle,” she pointed to the suspicious one: “You join in with the chorus of the song, okay? Now the words are simple: ‘hey, Nani, Nani.’ Can you handle that,” she winked, her breasts bouncing to punctuate the point. Lina felt slightly ill.
The crowd burst into cheers, and the woman sang:
You need a hol-i-day
Time to pack up and get a-way
I think you need to get out and play
What can make your skin rich and tawny?
Why,
“HEY NANI NANI,” the audience deafeningly finished. ‘Lana’ flicked her wrist almost imperceptibly. Almost. At once, two forks were thrust into the air, and Zelgadis and Gourry intercepted a poison dart expertly between the tines. Lina shot a dangerous glare at Lana, who ran off the stage guiltily. Immediately Lina sprinted in pursuit. She bit her lip and cursed silently that she didn’t bring her dagger with her. She couldn’t use much magic either—she didn’t want to blow up the boat. The would-be assassin took flight up the stairs and out onto the deck. Lina followed, practically nipping at her heels. The woman growled and produced a cruel looking dagger from where it had been strapped to her thigh. She took a fighter’s stance and stared at Lina.
Lina considered her options quickly. She had no weapon. If she could avoid it, Lina would prefer to use magic without causing too much damage to the boat, or as she had all too recently learned, to the nearby harbor as well. A mental list of known spells ran through Lina’s head—she needed one that would possibly let her capture the attacker. Too dark for Shadow Snap and a bit too close for Valis Rod—Lina bit her lip and took stock of any advantage she could. Well, they were surrounded by water. With a sly grin, Lina taunted her foe with a wag of her finger. Lana lurched forward, feinting. Lina dodged, edging her way toward the water. With a birdlike shriek, Lana leapt forward in attack. Lina sidestepped at the last moment, taking a nick in the shoulder, and reached her arm over the gunnel. Grunting, Lana worked to extricate her blade from where she had lodged it in the wood.
“Dolph Zork!” Lina snarled as she cast, forming a liquid blade in her hand, and swung it to meet Lana’s own knife that she quickly freed. The force of Lina’s strike, coupled with the intensity of the spell, shattered Lana’s dagger and sliced through her right cheek. Lina grinned at having the advantage, and moved to assail her again.
Lana muttered something incoherent, and everything went white. Lina toppled to the deck, blinded unexpectedly by what had to be a lighting spell. Rubbing her eyes, she heard the splash of somebody leaping overboard.
“Dammit,” she cursed and peered into the water. She could see ripples but no one tread above the surface. Her comrades emerged on the deck, full of questions. Gourry stepped forward.
“Are you okay Lina?” he asked, offering a hand to help her from where she slumped against the wall, casting a healing spell on her wounded shoulder.
“I’m fine,” she replied, accepting his arm. “She surprised me with a lighting spell, that’s all. Ugh I hate fighting on such a full stomach,” she complained. I don’t know who she was, but I get the unpleasant feeling that we’ll meet again, Lina thought to herself bitterly.
Inside the captain’s quarters, Luncheon James stared longingly at a framed picture and sighed heavily.
