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Disclaimer: This is a NC17 piece so if sex scares you see a therapist and then come read this. 
Until then...know that I have absolutely NO idea on California's geography. If I have gotten places and travel times wrong, please forgive me. After all, I'm from 'lil old Northern New England here.
Geez, should I stop talking and post this thing or what? Okay. Here goes.
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Evanescence
THE GARDEN OF EDEN
Part One: Inside the mind of Elijah Wood
I can feel the wind on my face as I tilt my head to look at the bright sunshine. There is a tangy scent in the air, like fruit and flowers. I look back down and realize that I am standing in an orchard. The earth is green and springy beneath my feet. I squish the grass between my toes and laugh at the feeling. I walk down the long rows of trees and see someone moving ahead of me. I begin to walk faster but so do they.
"Who’s there?" I call out. No one answers. I round the corner by a particularly large tree and realize that he is standing in front of me. His gray eyes are rooting me to the spot. He looks like an ancient pagan god standing in the honey colored sunlight. He steps toward me and holds up a piece of golden ripe fruit.
"Take it Elijah." He whispers. His voice is like sugar and cream and I reach out to him. He begins to fade away.
"No!" I shout, waking myself up. My eyes fly open to see the darkness of my bedroom. The orchard is gone and I am left feeling alone and frustrated.
"FUCK!" I shout angrily into the inky blackness. I stare at the ceiling and for the thousandth time I curse the day I met him. I curse the day I let myself fall into his eyes and get swept away in their depths. Why the fuck did I let myself fall in love with my best friend? Worse than that, why did I fall in love with my best friend who is straight?
I cannot fall back to sleep. I stare at my ceiling and smoke a cigarette. I can hear my sister’s voice in my head.
"You’re going to burn the damn house down if you smoke in bed Elijah."
I don’t care anymore. I’ve only been home for two nights since wrapping Eternal Sunshine in New York. I hadn’t slept a wink, knowing his apartment was only twenty miles away. What was he doing? Worse, who might he be doing it with? I swear and throw the butt of my dead cigarette in the full ashtray. I get up and pace around my bedroom. It’s only 5 am. I stop to stare at the framed photo on the wall of the LotR cast. I am standing there next to him, smiling. His arm is slung lazily around Billy and he’s smiling too. Sean is laughing at Orlando, whose tongue is stuck out at the camera. Even now looking at it I remember how fucking alone I felt, wishing his arm had been around me instead of Billy.
Sean had told me to get over it. Sean had said I should forget him and find someone else. I wanted to punch him for suggesting it. I hadn’t told Billy or Orly about it. Billy was too close to Dom and he might get overly drunk one night and spill everything. For a Scotsman, he really didn’t hold his liquor very well.
I sit back down on the bed and run my fingers through my hair. It’s starting to grow back again. I don’t really know why I shaved it like that. I just wanted to be different. I lie back down on the bed and tap my fingers on the tattoo on my stomach, trying to fall back to sleep. What seems like a hundred years later, I do.
BEEEEEEP BEEEEEP
My eyelids pry open with effort. I groan and pull a pillow over my head. Bright sunshine is streaming in my window and I hear the annoying beeping again.
"Wha fuck?" I mumble. Soon the beeping is followed by a loud knocking on my front door.
"Elijah!"
"Shit." I sigh. I sit up and blink, trying to adjust my eyes to the sunshine. I look over at my alarm clock. It’s 11:00am. I stand up and stumble down the stairs to open the door. I am immediately attacked and thrown backwards onto the floor as both Billy and Dom land on top of me, laughing like idiots.
"Elijah’s back!" they holler. They stand up and yank me to my feet. I feel like I might be sick as the room spins horribly.
"Oooh fuck Dom…I think our friend Elijah is a little hung over." I hear Billy say in his thick accent.
"What the fuck are you two doing?" I groan.
"We missed you man! You’ve been gone for three fucking months!" Dom says, clapping me on the shoulder.
"Yeah, I think I’ll go back there with you two lunatics on the loose." I say, pushing the door shut.
"Dom, I think he just insulted us, what do you think?" Billy asks him, grinning widely.
"I think you’re right Billy Boyd! What should we do about it?"
I forgot what the two of them are like when they’re in this mood. I am beginning to fear they’ll do something obnoxious. Landing on the floor with Dom on top of me was bad enough, but now they look positively mischievous.
"Should we administer the Scottish Hangover Remedy again?" Billy says to Dom.
"Oooh shit!" I say, backing away. They grin at each other then back at me. "I don’t really have a hangover guys!" I say as they begin to advance on me.
"Remedy time!" they shout.
"No!" I yell, remembering the last time they administered the horrible Scottish hangover remedy. They had stuck my whole head in a bathtub full of freezing cold water. I turn and run and hear them running after me. I fly into the kitchen and grab the toaster, yanking the plug from the wall and brandishing it in front of me like a sword.
Both of them burst into laughter at my pathetic weapon.
"I think he wants to toast us Billy." Dom says, smiling wickedly. You have no idea…I think to myself.
"I’ll grab the electric can opener and you grab the coffee maker and we’ll have an all out appliance WAR!" Billy shouts, snatching my can opener from the kitchen counter. I wince as Dom pulls the coffee maker off the counter and brandishes it at me. The three of us stand there, holding appliances and eyeing each other.
"Who will make the first move?"
"I don’t have a hangover…I’m just exhausted. So let’s put down the appliances and talk this over like intelligent humans." I say, a wide smile plastered on my face.
"He just insulted us again! We’re not intelligent humans, we’re Hobbits!" Dom says, jumping forward with my coffee maker.
"Meriadoc Brandybuck, I’m going to kick your ASS if you break my coffee maker!" I holler at him.
"Quick Pippin! Disarm him!" Dom shouts. Too late I realize Billy has snuck up behind me and he grabs the toaster from me.
"We got the One Toaster from Frodo!" Dom giggles, dancing around my kitchen like a beautiful madman. The three of us look at each other and burst into laughter. We sink into the chairs around my table and sigh.
"We missed you man." Dom repeats. I can’t look at him too long because I feel like I’m being burned by his beautiful gray eyes. Instead I look at Billy.
"What the fuck did the two of you do for three months without me?" I ask.
"We got totally drunk, drove to San Francisco and got laid." Billy says, still grinning.
I resist the urge to frown in annoyance. But I can’t. Instead I stick out my lower lip in a mock pout.
"You couldn’t have waited until I came back so I could go with you?"
There was a silence as the two of them looked at me in surprise.
"But…I thought…OUCH!" Dom says, then winces in pain as Billy kicks him under the table. I see all of this, but I’m still to tired to deal with it.
"So what are you morons doing here anyway?" I yawn, going to take the coffee maker away from Dom. He doesn’t let go. "Give it to me dammit!"
He grins and lets go and I stumble backwards. I regain my balance and flip him the bird. He laughs.
"We’re here to take our long lost Frodo on a road trip."
I plug in the coffee maker and set it up. I turn back to them.
"A road trip? Where?"
"Anywhere. I want to get out of this fucking city. It’s beautiful out today and I want to get away from the smog." Dom says, leaning back in the chair and stretching like a cat. I nearly drop my coffee mug as I watch his muscles ripple under his shirt. I turn back to the coffee maker, trying to squeeze the image out of my head before there’s a problem.
"Sean’s wife’s sister gave us a map of Napa Valley. I’ve always wanted to go…whad’ya think? No smog there." Billy says, standing up and grabbing himself a mug.
"Hey that sounds cool. What do you think Lij?" Dom says, coming to stand next to me.
God…I love it when he calls me that. However, I’m still so tired that I am having problems keeping my mind in control. I fixate on the drizzle of coffee pouring into the coffee pot instead and rub the back of my neck.
****
Part Two: Inside the mind of Dominic Monaghan
I am really starting to get worried about Elijah. He looks paler than I’ve ever seen him, and the bags under his eyes accentuate the otherworldly glow of his blue eyes. There are full ashtrays all over the house and I have a sinking feeling that he’s up to two packs or more a day. I know he’s only been back in town for two days, but he needs to get out of the house. He needs to relax and get some sun. His remark about going with us to San Francisco came out of nowhere. I was certain Lij was gay. Could I have been wrong?
"Napa Valley sounds good to me, as long as I don’t have to drive." He says, yawning again.
"What time did you go to bed last night?" I ask him.
"About 3am."
"No wonder you look like death warmed over mate!" Billy says, whistling.
"Fuck you too Boyd." He says, taking the coffee pot and pouring himself some. Billy laughs.
"Why did you go to bed so late?" I ask him. He looks up at me, and I am struck again at how incredibly tight he keeps his emotions in check.
"Because that’s when I fell asleep Dom." He says, going back to sit at the kitchen table. I pour myself some coffee and sit next to him.
"I have a tip for you Lij." I say, drinking my coffee.
"What is that?"
"Go to bed earlier."
He rolls his eyes and cups his slender fingers around the mug to warm them.
"It’s not that easy." He says, closing his eyes and sighing.
"Why not? You just get in bed, close your eyes and GO." Billy says, joining us at the table.
"I wish it were that simple."
"You have insomnia?"
"No…I have…dreams."
"Dreams? What about?" I ask. He’s not been this honest about what’s going on with him in a long time.
He looks up at me and I see a haunted look come into his cerulean blue eyes. I want to gasp at the intensity there, but before I know it, it’s gone.
"Never mind." He says. "So, Napa Valley huh?"
"Yeah, they have places that make wine, and other places that make wine, and did I mention they have WINE?"
Billy laughs, holding his cup aloft.
"I think you’ve already had enough this morning Billy." Elijah says, smiling once more.
"I’ve not had a damn drop yet!" he frowns at Elijah.
I laugh at my friend. I wish sometimes I could be as carefree as Billy. As it is, I’ve been doing so much thinking since Elijah left for New York that my mind is heavy with confusion. I absently finger the tiny bottle in my pocket.
"Well, get your ass out of the kitchen and go get ready then. It’ll take at least an hour to get there." Billy says, drinking the last of his coffee. Elijah nods and stands up. He’s lost more weight than when I saw him last. I resist the urge to take him by the shoulders and demand that he tell me what’s wrong. Instead I watch him walk down the hallway and up the stairs. A few minutes later we hear the water running in the shower. I look over at Billy and he’s watching me thoughtfully.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he says quietly.
"Yes." I answer, drinking the last of my coffee. "I have to know for sure. This is the only way."
"Okay then Dom." Billy says. He stands up and washes out his mug, leaving me to contemplate the many things that could go wrong today.
About a half an hour later, Elijah emerges from his room and comes down the stairs. He’s wearing a dark gray sweater and blue jeans. He looks more awake now and a good deal happier.
"I’m ready now." He says, grabbing his lighter and stuffing it in his pocket. He looks around for his cigarettes.
"All right, what did you do with them?" he glares at me.
"I did nothing with your preciousssss cancer sticks." I imitate Gollum.
"Fork em over Monaghan." He says, sticking out his hand. I don’t want to. I hate it that he smokes.
"I’ll buy you forty CDs if you quit." I say.
He raises his eyebrows and looks at me. I suddenly feel like a bug under a microscope.
"You’re offering to feed one addiction in the place of another?" he asks.
"CDs won’t kill you though."
"Nope, they won’t…but I don’t care. Gimme." He says, holding out his hand again.
"What can I give you in place of them then?" I say, giving him my best ‘I’m-such-a-smartass look’. Again I see a flash of pain and frustration wash over him, then it’s gone. He walks away from me and heads for Billy.
"Where are they?" he demands.
"They’re in the cookie jar in the kitchen." He says, quailing under Elijah’s angry stare. He swears loudly and heads into the kitchen. I look over at Billy and he’s shaking his head at me.
"That was just mean." He says. I sigh and wait for Elijah to come back. As soon as he does, I grab his arm.
"Look man, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to die on us." I say.
His eyes study me for a moment and I see him struggling with so many emotions that it’s like watching someone balance eighteen spinning plates in the air. A few seconds later he smiles.
"Forgiven. Now let’s go."
I sigh in relief and follow them out the door.
Ten minutes later I am driving onto the freeway, heading for Napa Valley. Elijah is fidgeting with the CD player and Billy is in the back, trying in vain to read the road map.
"It looks like Exit 28, but I can’t tell with these bloody American maps." He swears. "It’s bad enough you people drive on the wrong side of the road, but to make damn near impossible to read maps that don’t fold correctly either? It’s enough to drive a man mad." He says.
Elijah laughs at him and the sound is like a bolt of lightning. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve heard him laugh like that. It sounds familiar, like drops of rain on a tin roof.
He finally makes the CD player obey and soon the Smashing Pumpkins are reverberating through the speakers.
Traffic is light in the city as we begin to leave the smog encrusted buildings behind. The California sun is shining brightly through the window. It’s making the interior of the SUV rather warm, so I roll down my window. Elijah does the same. He flicks a finished cigarette out the window and looks at the approaching mountains.
"I miss New Zealand." He says softly.
"Me too."
"It was a whole other world, you know? Like we were the only ones there and there was a deadly beauty to it. It was there every morning you woke up and still there every night you went to bed."
"It was hard work but I really miss everyone." I say, looking over at him. The wind is ruffling his spiky brown hair and his cheeks are flushed from the heat of the sun. I grip the steering wheel tighter. Sometimes I forget how absolutely ethereally beautiful he is. Like a Botticelli painting of a sensual angel with ancient eyes.
"Have you talked to PJ since you came back?" I ask, trying to think of anything but the way his body is sitting relaxed in the chair.
‘Yeah, he and Fran left me a message about a week ago."
"We’re supposed to go back at the beginning of April." Billy says from the back seat.
"Yeah. It’ll be good." Elijah says and stretches in the seat.
"Yes, it will." I say, fingering the bottle in my pocket again.
It suddenly occurs to me that I am about to do one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life.
~~~~
Part Three: Inside The Garden of Eden
Three hours and three wineries later, Billy is totally buzzed. The last winery we visited turned into a "let’s toast to the hobbits" party and before we knew it, we were drinking free wine and not just a little bit of excellent beer. I could feel a tiny buzz at the back of my skull, but it was nowhere near as bad as poor Billy. He was sitting in the back seat of Dominic’s SUV, holding his head and moaning.
"Why did you guys let me drink so much?" he says.
"You only had four glasses of wine and two glasses of beer Billy! Jesus, your ancestors would be so disappointed with you." Dom says, shaking his head.
"Aaaaugh…" Billy groans. "Leave me alone!"
"If we only had a tub filled with cold water Dom!" I say, shaking my head in mock disappointment.
"Not even remotely funny, Elwood." Billy whispers from the back seat. The SUV jolts over a large pothole as we pass a city limit sign that says: "Eden, CA pop. 1,202".
"Oh GOD please let that be the last pothole we hit!" Billy says.
"If you hork in my car I’m going to kill you Billy." Dom warns. I laugh. The alcohol zinging through my veins is making me a little slap happy. It’s about two in the afternoon and the sun is still shining like a giant yellow ball in the sky. I haven’t had such a good day since the last day New Zealand where everyone got tanked and Orlando tried to sing ‘Fame’ by David Bowie. I laugh at the memory.
"What are you laughing about?" Dom asks, grinning at me. I feel my stomach tighten as his gray eyes meet mine.
"Remember that time Orly tried to sing ‘Fame’?"
"Yeah, that was our last night there."
"God that was fun. I wish I could remember the rest of it but I think I passed out."
Dom’s head snaps from the road to my face. His expression is surprised and a little confused.
"You don’t remember?"
"Nope."
"He doesn’t remember Dom." Billy says from the back seat. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stand on end. My mind races to try and remember something that they evidently think I did.
"Why am I suddenly afraid to ask what I did?" I say, still trying to smile.
Dom’s fingers grip the steering wheel and he looks back at the road. There is no trace of humor in him at all. The alcohol fog lifts in one giant whoosh and I sit straight up in the seat.
"Did I do something stupid?" I ask. I am met with silence. I look at Dom and his face is a mask of hurt and anger. I turn to Billy in the back seat.
"Billy? What did I do?"
Billy’s mouth opens and closes as he tries to decide what to say or do. Suddenly the car lurches to the right and Dom slams on the brakes. He throws the car into park and opens the door. I watch in astonishment as he slams the car door and walks away. I look up at the sign he walks under. It says: "The Gardens"
I sit in the car, watching him walk away, trying to figure out what to do. I am completely confused. I turn back to Billy but his face is turning a nasty green color.
"What the fuck was that all about?"
Billy shakes his head at me.
"You really don't remember?"
"No." I say.
"Then you’re a fucking idiot Elwood. Just go find him." he says. "I’m going to find the bathroom."
I unhook my seat belt and get out of the car. I follow Dominic into the Gardens, wondering to myself why my heart is beating so painfully against my chest.
After walking for what seems like forever in this giant world of trees, grass, flowers and fruit, I find him. He looks like a panther looming through the mists as he searches for some form of solitude amongst the vines bustling with jungle-like inhabitants. He stops pacing and turns his face upward toward the sun and closes his eyes. I step toward him and his eyes fly open. He stares at me.
"Christ." He breathes.
"Dom, what’s wrong?" I ask softly.
"I thought I knew! Now thi!. And you don’t even fucking remember!" he says, beginning to pace back and forth.
I want to stop him. I want to grab him and crush his lips with mine. But I can’t. I take a deep breath and say it again.
"What don’t I remember Dominic?"
"That last night in Wellington. We left the party and walked back to your apartment together. You were so drunk that I was afraid you’d get hit by a bus or something. When you got inside the apartment building, you……you kissed me. You told me you were in love with me."
My ears are pounding and the earth seems to tilt wildly underneath me. I reach out and brace myself on a nearby tree. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to regain control of my mind. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck this isn’t happening.
"But you aren’t, are you?" he says, his voice cracking with hurt. "You’re not even gay, are you?"
"Jesus Christ Dominic…I’m so sorry." I say, trying desperately to control myself.
"Sorry?? You’re SORRY???" he shouts. "Leave me alone!" he turns and walks away.
"No, wait!" I say. Dammit my feet won’t work! I reach out for him but he fades away and disappears around a tree. I manage to make my feet obey my mind and I run after him.
"Dom, wait!" I call. He stops underneath a giant nectarine tree, but his back is to me. My heart slams painfully in my chest. Oh God…months and months and months of being alone and he was there all the time. I was just too chickenshit to say anything.
I come to a halt behind him. I am so afraid that if I touch him that he’ll disappear. He turns around and looks at me. His gray eyes are full of pain and anger and fear and hope mixed with caution. I reach out and touch his cheek and he flinches.
"Don’t." he says. "Don’t touch me unless you mean it."
Part Four: Inside the Vortex
His eyes, damn his eyes. All this time I’ve been wanting and waiting for him to show me any sign that he meant what he said to me that night and now it’s all coming out at me through his iridescent blue eyes. I want to fall into them and stay there forever.
"I am such a fool." He says softly. His lips brush mine and I feel my whole body shake in shock and desire. I had no idea. I had no idea it would feel like this, his lips touching mine and his fingers twining in my hair. I drop what’s left of my fear and trepidation and kiss him back. He tastes like mint and clove cigarettes. He pushes me against the tree trunk and deepens his kiss. I feel myself harden almost instantly. He breaks the kiss and cradles his head in the crook of my neck.
"I'm sorry Dom. I had no idea, God, I had no idea!"
I laugh a little as a warm breeze begins to blow. It ruffles his hair. I look up and see one perfectly round golden nectarine hanging there. I reach up and pluck it from the tree and hold it out to him.
"Take it Elijah." I whisper.
He shivers and stares at me.
"I dreamed this." he says, reaching out and taking the fruit.
"So did I." I answer. He bites down on the nectarine and juice flows down his neck like sugared honey. I wind my arms around him and lick it off his white skin.
Part Five: Inside my lover
I have died and gone to heaven. No, not heaven, Eden. I am in the Garden of Eden, eating the forbidden fruit of sex and lust and hot delicious flesh. I cannot get enough of him. I grab his t-shirt and pull it over his head. The sun shines on his tanned skin and I nearly choke on my lust for him. I feel his hands on me and the world stops for three tantalizing seconds as we stand there, half naked in the garden, kissing each other at the base of the tree of knowledge. I am crazed with need. I don’t even remember how we managed to remove our clothes yet I see them out of the corner of my eye, lying here and there like haphazard puzzle pieces. I look at him and his gray eyes are blazing with craving and a little bit of mischief. I look at him in confusion as he laughs.
"What?" I say. My voice sounds a thousand miles away. He holds up a small bottle.
"I told you I knew what I was doing." He says. My eyes widen as I see the tiny letters that spell out ‘lube’
"Jesus God thank you!" I shout. I grab the bottle from him, uncork it and flip him over. He lets out a gasp of surprise as he lands on the soft green grass. I am beyond the ability to waste time now. Seconds later I cork the bottle again and slide within him in one careful, slow thrust. His head snaps back and I can see his gray eyes widen in surprise and shock. His fingers dig into the grass and dirt and he closes his eyes. I can feel his body shudder as he accepts me.
When I am certain he’s ready, I begin to move inside him.
Waves of intense sensations wash over me as we move
together, offering our sex and our passion to the earth and the tree of knowledge. I tilt my head back and look up at the bright blue sky and smell the scent of nectarines and sex. His body is shaking now and I know he’s close. So am I. I’m drugged on the feeling of him, rocking back and forth like blades of grass in the wind. Oh God I love him. I’ve always loved him. The dam breaks and I fall over the edge, crying out as I give him all I have. I hear his fevered gasps as he comes as well. I pull away and hold him. His body is still shaking with the force of it, and he holds on to me tightly.
"I never knew…God Lij, I never knew."
"I knew." I say, wrapping my arms around him.
"I’ve always known."
The End
