Part 102
Sarah sat beside her father in the funeral director’s office. She had wanted to help with the funeral arrangements since she hadn’t gotten to her mother in time. Howie leaned against the door facing watching her as she fiddled with her rings. It was a habit she’d picked up after the clinic but it was usually HIS rings she’d play with.
The funeral director had laid out the whole service for them and now asked, "Is there anything you’d like to add?"
Mr. Taylor looked over at Sarah. "Sweetheart, is there something you want to add?"
Sarah spoke softly, "Yeah. I want to do a song and I think she would like ‘Amazing
Grace’ sung as well."
"Are you going to do both?" asked Mr. Crews.
Sarah looked up at Howie. "D, would you do the hymn?"
"I’d be honored to, Angel. What song are you going to do?"
"The Perfect Fan," she whispered as tears formed.
Howie explained, "It’s a song one of our friends wrote for his mother."
Mr. Taylor took Sarah’s hand, "That sounds wonderful."
Mr. Crews said, "If that’s all, we’re done. Visitation will be Thursday night. You and your family need to be here about half an hour before. Is there anything else?"
Softly, Sarah said, "I’d like to see her."
"Come with me then."
"Sarah, are you sure? You aren’t looking well."
"I’m fine, Daddy," she answered giving him a kiss on the cheek. Going by Howie, she stopped to kiss him, too.
He brushed her hair back as he asked, "Want me to go with you?"
"I’ll be okay. Wait for me?"
Kissing her lightly, he whispered, "For as long as it takes."
Howie watched Sarah as she followed Mr. Crews to the chapel. He was amazed by her strength when it really counted. She’s cried like a baby the night before and slept very little but now, with her father, no one would have known.
Mr. Taylor asked, "Is Sarah okay?"
Howie shook his head, "She feels guilty for not getting here before her mother died."
"No, I mean her health. She’s looking extremely pale and thin."
"She’s fine, just a bug or something she can’t seem to shake," answered Howie. To himself, "A cute little bug growing inside her." Then, "I’m going to wait for her in the back of the chapel."
Mr. Taylor watched Howie follow Sarah to the chapel and then went to make some phone calls while he waited for his daughter.
In the chapel, Howie moved silently to the middle of the chapel and took a seat. He watched Sarah and thought how beautiful she was as her hair fell over her shoulders. She was standing by her mother’s coffin with her hand on her mother’s.
Softly, she said, "Mama, there’s so much I needed to tell you. So many things I needed to ask you. I guess I should tell you first, I’m pregnant and if you were here, you’d know I’m not excited. I want to be excited, more than anything but instead I’m scared. I don’t know whose baby it is. Oh Mama!! It’s the same nightmare all over again. Our best friend was drunk and he raped me…just like Russell. What was worse, I kept seeing Russell as Alex forced himself on me. God, Mama, Howie is being so wonderful. He won’t hear me say this isn’t his baby and I want to believe him, but my faith has been tested too many times. Mama, Howie is my dream come true and I want this baby to be his with all my heart. He’s stuck with me through so much…even Russell’s attempt to intimidate him. It’s like we were meant to be together."
Sarah stopped to wipe the tears and Howie started to move to her. He stopped though when he heard Sarah continue. "I should have been here for you. Dusty called but I was so caught up in what was going on with Alex and the guys. I was being selfish, Mama. I should have been here."
Sarah began to sob but before Howie could get to her, Mr. Taylor spoke gently, "Sarah Lee, stop blaming yourself. Your mother would tell you your place is with your husband."
Mr. Taylor took his daughter in his arms as she cried, "But Daddy! She was sick and she needed me. Dusty…"
"Howie and the others needed you too, Sarah. We saw the announcement yesterday and that was equally important. You had NO way of knowing that she was going to die before you could get here. Besides, your mother wouldn’t have known you were here. Sweetheart, she never came around after having the heart attack. You did the right thing staying with Howie. Now, I think you two need some time alone. I expect you’ve had a long weekend and the week is only going to get worse with family coming in tonight and tomorrow."
"Becca and the others should be arriving sometime soon," said Howie softly as Sarah moved into his arms.
Sarah rested her head on his shoulder as she leaned against him. Looking up at him over her shoulder, she sighed, "We need to talk, Howie."
"I know," was his answer with a kiss.
Mr. Taylor handed them the keys and said, "Take my car and go on. I’ll take one of Mr. Crews’ cars home."
"Thank you, Daddy."
"Your Aunt Jackie will be here for dinner and I expect all your younger cousins would be thrilled to have your husband with us for dinner," smiled Mr. Taylor. "Be sure to be on time."
Howie laughed as Sarah said, "Oh wonderful….they’re all gonna drool over my husband! What will they do when Nick gets here and they see Becca…his VERY pregnant wife?"
"Speaking of Becca…. how’s she doing?" asked Mr. Taylor as they made their way out of the funeral home.