Part 169
By the time they reached the condo, Sarah had calmed down and was ready to hear what Dusty had to say. While they were all eating though, Sarah and Howie spent the time getting Jesse ready for bed. She was given a bath after she ate and then sent to tell everyone goodnight. Without being prompted, Jesse thanked them for her gifts, and then headed to bed where Howie and Sarah tucked her in and Howie sat down to read her a bedtime story. He had let Jesse pick the book and as he read, Sarah lay across the foot of the bed listening.
At the end of the story, Jesse asked, "Daddy, will we live happily ever after?"
"Definitely, Princess."
Jesse gave him a kiss, then said, "I love you!"
"We love you very much," said Sarah as she leaned to kiss her daughter on the forehead. "Sleep tight, baby."
The couple moved to the door turning out the light and watched as Jesse nestled into the covers with ‘Millenium’ curled up beside her. Sarah leaned into Howie’s arms and sighed contentedly.
"Happy, Angel?" asked Howie as he held her close.
"Extremely. Thank you, D."
"I like making you happy, Sarah, and having Jesse in our lives makes it all complete."
Sarah looked at him. "D, you don’t regret finding her, do you?"
"NO WAY, ANGEL! Come on, let’s go get something to eat and listen to what Dusty has to say."
"How much do you know already?"
"Enough to know that there was a VERY good reason and you don’t need to be angry with him."
The couple joined the others and Becca asked, "Is she all tucked
in?"
"Yeah…as snug as a bug," said Howie happily.
Kevin grinned, "And as cute as one too! Sarah, she’s absolutely beautiful…just like her mother."
"Thanks, ‘Boo’," said Sarah as she sat in her favorite spot. She pulled her knees to her chest as Howie sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Okay, Dusty…start explaining."
Dusty looked around at the group gathered who was anxiously awaiting to hear what he had to say. "I thought Howie was joking about telling them everything."
Howie said, "They’re a part of our family and have stood beside both of us through quite a bit."
"Where do I start?"
"Try the beginning, BONE HEAD," said Sarah testily.
Dusty leaned back looking at his sister. ‘God, she gave up 5 years of her life to protect me. What have I done but hurt her,’ he thought. "Sarah, first off, Mama and Daddy knew and they’ve seen her frequently since Jim took her. I knew and my supervisors knew."
"What really happened to Jesse? Jim said she suffered brain damage and she doesn’t remember what happened."
"Sarah, think about it….Jesse was only fifteen months old. She wasn’t gonna remember it ANYWAY. She did NOT suffer any head injuries. When Chrissy hit you, you managed to hold onto her and YOU took the full force of the hit. I was watching you that day and I saw the car hit you. You were thrown over the car but somehow you managed to fall so that Jesse fell on top of you. The extent of Jesse’s injuries was a broken leg."
"What about the year in rehab?" asked Howie.
"She had to learn to walk and strengthen her muscles. She does suffer from nightmares but that’s from being separated from you, Sarah. Now that she’s back where she belongs, I expect that will stop."
"You said Mama and Daddy knew."
"That’s why when they knew you were gonna be okay, they moved back to Virginia….to be closer to Jesse."
"Where was she?"
"Emory." Seeing the confusion on everyone else’s faces, Dusty explained, "It’s about an hour or so from where our parents and grandparents live."
Sarah grew silent thinking about what Dusty had said. There had to be a good reason for her parents to have kept it from her…but to tell her Jesse was dead?
Howie asked softly, "Sarah, are you okay?"
Sarah nodded her head as she asked, "Why? Why tell me Jesse was dead? Why keep it from me for 2 ½ years? Why tell me now?"
"Yeah, why now?" asked Kevin. "If you’re protecting Jesse, giving her back to Sarah is just putting her in the spotlight. Our lives, including Sarah’s, are very public."
"But you have one of the BEST security teams protecting you. Billy’s reputation is well known in the DEA. Besides, Raoul is a good friend of mine."
Sarah was surprised that Dusty knew Raoul. "Where did you meet him?"
"I arrested him when I worked for the Jacksonville police."
Brian asked, "You work for the DEA now?"
"Dusty has been with the DEA ever since I married Russell. And I married Russell to protect him."
Howie continued, "Russell found out Dusty was undercover and threatened to expose him if Sarah didn’t marry him."
Dusty picked up the story from there. "After Jesse was born, Russell used her to hold on to Sarah. Every time Sarah tried to leave him, he threatened to take Jesse and just disappear. What bothered me was he had the means to do it. He was a part of the drug cartel that I was investigating. Then Chrissy ran Sarah down, and my supervisors used the chance to get Jesse away from Russell. That way, Sarah could leave him without fear of losing her daughter to him."
"Why not just take Sarah and Jesse and hide them?" asked Brian.
"Sarah almost died. They didn’t want to risk moving her and she never would have met Howie."
"Yeah, I would have. Howie and I were meant to be together," said Sarah softly as he hugged her closer to him. "Dusty, if that’s the case, why 2 ½ years?"
"The cartel Russell was with had ALSO been using Jesse to keep control of him. See, Russell went to the highest bidder…if the DEA had offered him enough money, he’d have sold out the drug kingpins in a heartbeat. Plus, I knew the only way you’d be free of him was to keep Jesse out of the picture until you could get away from Fernandina. With Mama and Daddy gone and Jesse, you had no reason to stay. Then you met Howie and he and his friends," Dusty swept his hand to indicate the guys, "used their influence to get Russell to sign the divorce papers. I figured it was safe to let Jesse come back to you but my supervisors had concerns that the drug lords would find the two of you and use you to get at Russell. God knows, he treated you like shit but he DID love you and Jesse. Then Russell started stalking you. Sarah, I swear, I only wanted to protect you and Jesse. It tore me up that you stayed with that asshole for so long! He was no good for you."
Howie asked, "Is Jesse still in danger?"
"No…but I would make sure you had your security in place just in case."
"Not a problem," said Kevin.
"Sarah, there’s one more thing you need to know. Chrissy is free."
Sarah’s eyes grew big and she felt Howie’s body tense. Howie asked, "Why?"
"She didn’t kill Russell…or Jesse. I know exactly what happened to Russell," grinned Dusty. "You were safe from prosecution from the very beginning, Sarah."
It came now…the slap Dusty had been expecting from the very beginning and Sarah growled, "You knew the whole time and you let me go through ALL that? You BASTARD!"
Howie grabbed Sarah wrapping her tightly in his arms. "Sarah! STOP!" he said sharply to get through to her. "Not now!"
"Why not now? I stayed with a man who was the devil incarnate to protect MY BROTHER and how does he repay me? He let’s me go through a living HELL!"
Kevin was furious too and he said, "Howie, she has every right to be angry!"
"But NOW is NOT the time to get into this," said Howie looking directly at Kevin.
Sarah said angrily, "I don’t care anymore, Howie! I don’t care who knows. I’m SICK of all this."
Brian asked, "What’s going on?"
Sarah stared at Dusty. "Go ahead, Dustin! Tell them EVERYTHING!"
"You mean…they don’t know?" he asked sheepishly.
Howie spoke coolly, "No, only Kevin and I knew."
"Knew what?" asked Vanessa. "What is going on?"
Sarah said flatly, "I killed Russell."
That stunned everyone into silence as Howie held Sarah feeling her body begin to tremble. He looked around at their friends trying to read their reactions but there was nothing but shock on their faces.
Becca spoke first in a soft, hushed voice, "Sarah, how could you?"
"He ruined my life, Becca…and he was trying to destroy what I had with Howie," answered Sarah, her voice revealing the fear she’d felt all those months. She was afraid now of her friends turning on her. "Becca…please…"
Sarah turned her face, burying it in Howie’s chest as she began to cry. Howie held her, his own tears falling into her hair. They’d moved past this whole nightmare and were happy. Now, here it was again staring them in the face and threatening to destroy their lives once more.
"Murder," said Brian softly. "Sarah committed murder."
Kevin chose to ignore Brian as he moved to kneel in front of Sarah and Howie. He put his hand on Howie’s shoulder. "D, take Sarah to the bedroom and get her calmed down."
"No, Dusty’s got more to say, to explain," said Howie. "Like why he let Sarah go through all this and how he knew. He needs to clear ALL this up because he’s just hurt her AGAIN by letting our friends know."
"He can explain AFTER Sarah calms down."
Before Howie could answer, Sarah was scrambling to get up and Howie let go of her. She bolted for the bathroom and Howie got up to follow her.
Becca stopped him. "Let me go. She needs to know that I’m not gonna abandon her."
"No! Not this time, Becca. I’m her husband and my place is with her, taking care of her. I’m going in there now with my wife. If ANY of you think less of her, be gone when we come back. Sarah doesn’t need her friends turning on her now. She went through hell because of all this and now it’s all coming back at her…us! Sarah’s my life and she’s pregnant with MY children. I’m going to protect her, Jesse, and our unborn children no matter what. You guys have NO clue the extent to which Russell tortured her," said Howie coolly. "Becca, you only know what you saw when you two were in college, the parts she let you see, the parts she couldn’t control. Alison, Vanessa, you two know what you saw when she was in Fernandina. And the rest of you, Kevin, Brian, Nick…you only know what Sarah has chosen to tell you. She wasn’t exaggerating when she called him the devil incarnate."
Turning to Dusty, Howie said, "You created this mess…now clean it up. Your sister sacrificed her dreams…her life for you. You owe her to clean this up."
With Howie and Sarah gone, there was an awkward silence in the room. They were all going over what they had just heard including what Howie had said. The girls shed silent tears for Sarah and the pain she was going through, had been through. Even the guys had to wipe their eyes. They obviously didn’t know just how much Russell had tortured Sarah…it was enough to drive her to murder and enough to have the DEA protecting her from prosecution. They waited for Sarah and Howie to return to hear what Dusty had to say.
Dusty asked hesitantly, "Is Sarah pregnant?"
Becca answered coolly, "Yeah…with twins. They haven’t told everyone yet because of the miscarriage last Halloween."
"This is NOT the kind of thing she needed right now," said Kevin angrily. "I swear, if anything happens to her, if Howie doesn’t kill you, I will!"
"What’s your problem?" asked Dusty defensively. "You act like you’re in love with her too."
"We ALL love her," said Nick. "And Kevin won’t be the only one coming after you…brother or not."
When Howie and Sarah returned, it was evident that BOTH had been crying and their friends hurt for them. The couple went back to where they’d been sitting and Howie held Sarah close in a protective embrace. It was obvious they needed each other.
When they were settled, Kevin said, "Okay, let’s hear your explanation. Why the hell would you put your sister through hell?"
Dusty looked at his sister. "We’d been watching Russell…and you…since about a month before Chrissy hit you."
"Why were you watching Sarah?" asked Sonja.
"To protect her from the cartel. After the accident and getting Jesse away, we pulled the protection…until he tried to rape you that night at the youth center."
"How did you know what I had done?" asked Sarah in a whisper.
"Raoul called me. As soon as I heard, I went to my supervisors."
"Hold on," said Howie. "Raoul and Billy came to us in Key West and told us that Sarah was a suspect…that they had evidence against her."
"Yeah, I found out…AFTER it was too late. I was undercover when you got married…had been for some time and Raoul had tried to contact me but couldn’t. As soon as I found out, I came to Orlando to take care of it, with my supervisors."
"Why didn’t you say something back in January…after it happened?" asked Kevin. "Sarah crashed because of the guilt."
"She still had to deal with the guilt whether she knew she was safe or not. She had all those demons to deal with that Russell had heaped on her. Eight years with that asshole was what caused her to crash…not killing him."
"So why didn’t you tell me you’d taken care of it?"
Dusty moved to Sarah and Howie. This wasn’t an explanation any more. It was about him asking his sister and brother-in-law for forgiveness. He sat in front of them, taking Sarah’s hand in his. "Sarah, you had to deal with what Russell had done to you and the bulimia. When you got out of the clinic, you were my sister again…strong and confidant…the woman that you were becoming in college, when you were AWAY from Russell. Sarah, you had healed and you had your knight in shining armor that you’d dreamed about…prayed for. I never meant to hurt either one of you. I only wanted to protect you."
Dusty’s own tears began to fall and Sarah said softly, "Don’t, Dus! Please!"
"I’m sorry, Sarah…Howie…Please forgive me. I owe you my life. What you went through with Russell was to protect me and there’s NO WAY I CAN REPAY YOU."
Howie let go of Sarah and she hugged Dusty. As they held on to each other, Sarah said, "There’s no repaying me, Dus. We’re family and that’s what family does…they look out for each other. You did your best to protect me, to protect Jesse…and you told Howie how to find her. I have my life back…a husband who loves me, a daughter asleep in her own room under MY roof; and friends who are amazing."
Dusty kissed his sister on the side of the cheek. "I have a pretty special sister. Howie?"
Howie smiled, "It’s cool, Dusty."
Dusty and Howie shook hands and Dusty continued to sit with them.
Sarah looked at her friends and said, "I know what I did was wrong…"
"Sarah, we don’t need an explanation or an apology," said Brian.
"No, you need to hear this," said Howie. "Go on, Angel."
"Howie told you that you only knew parts of my life with Russell and there’s no way I can possibly tell you everything but some of the things he did included tying me to the bed, raping me, and leaving me there while he went back out with his friends. He’d tell me his friends would be back to have their turns. He’d have them stop at our bedroom door talking to them making me think they were coming in."
"God…that’s horrible," gasped Sonja.
"Did he ever hit you?" asked Nick.
"Once, and I left but I’d have rather had him beating me than the mental torture he put me through. He’d threaten to take Jesse and disappear. Then, later, he’d take her with him and stay gone for a REALLY long time…driving me insane. When he’d get back, he’d laugh at me."
Dusty said, "That’s just a small part of what he did to her."
"And once she was gone, he started stalking her," added Howie.
"It’s a wonder you didn’t kill him sooner," said Ali.
"We had no idea," said Vanessa. "Why didn’t you say something?"
"What good would it have done? Russell had everyone believing him. I’m free of him now, that’s what counts."
"Did you love him?" asked Nick.
"I had feelings for him, yeah, but he wasn’t who I wanted to settle down with…have a lasting relationship with. In fact, I had broken up with him when I went off to college."
Ali, Vanessa, and Dusty laughed as Kevin asked, "You knew that all
along?"
Dusty said, "Sarah use to sit and daydream for hours about Prince Charming."
"And when we’d talk about our dream guy, she’d describe him…vividly," said Alison.
"So, describe him," said Nick.
Everyone laughed as Howie hugged Sarah and she said, "You really are BLONDE!"
Innocently, Nick said, "What? I want to know what your dream guy was like."
Becca punched him, "You’ve known him for eight years, Nick."
"She MARRIED him," added Brian.
"Whao! You mean…"
"Yeah, Nick. I use to dream about Howie just like he dreamed about me," said Sarah as she looked over her shoulder at him. "We were destined to be together."
Nick rolled his eyes, "GOD…that love-meter thing was right about you two…sweeter than sugar topped with honey."
"With a whole lotta lovin’ to do," said Howie as he kissed Sarah.
"Let’s clear outta here so those two can take care of that fire they’ve started," said Kevin standing up. He helped Vanessa up and then went to give Sarah a kiss good-bye. "Baby, it’s good to see you so happy and I’m glad you have Jesse back."
"Thanks, ‘Boo’."
"Kev, thanks for the help with the party," said Howie as he got up. "What do I owe you?"
"We’ll work that out later. You two enjoy tonight," said Kevin as he gave Howie a brotherly hug.
The rest of the group gave Howie and Sarah hugs saying their good-byes. Each one expressed their happiness that things had worked out so well for them before leaving.
Becca and Nick were the last ones and as Becca hugged Sarah, the tears started. "Oh god! Sarah, I left you when you needed me the most."
"Hey…stop it! I wouldn’t have told you even if you HAD stayed. Hell, it took me until May to tell Kevin. Look, it’s OVER…Howie and I are VERY happily married and we have Jesse. That’s ALL that matters."
"But…"
"No buts," said Howie as he put his hand on Sarah’s lower back. "Sarah’s stronger than ever and our relationship is FAR better for having been through it, TOGETHER."
Becca looked at the couple and smiled through her tears. "You two really were meant to be together."
Wrapping his arms around Sarah’s waist, "Yeah, we were."
"Get out of here," said Sarah. "It’s been a BIG day for all of us and you need your rest."
"We’ll see you tomorrow?" asked Nick.
"Nope," said Howie. "Sarah’s gotta practice and we’ve got a little girl’s bedroom to fix up."
"Give us a call," said Nick. "I’ll give you a hand. It’s so cool that you have her back."
"Yeah, it is," said Sarah running her hands along Howie’s arms.
From behind them, the four heard Jesse’s cries and Becca said, "Now, that’s a beautiful sound. We’ll see you later."
Howie saw the couple to the door while Sarah went to check on Jesse.