Part 308
"I don't care where you sleep, but it's not going to be with me."
Becca looked around the suite of rooms she and Nick were supposed to have shared as Billy put her bags in the adjoining bedroom. She was so tired and this was all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to be like this. And then she'd thrown her own angry words right back at him.
"You okay, Becca?"
It dawned on her that Billy was standing by the door, watching her with concern.
"Oh, yeah, sure." She managed a tired smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "It was a long drive, that's all."
Billy knew better, but it wasn't his place to say or do anything about it. "Like always, I'll be right outside if you need me."
"Thanks, Billy. We'll be fine." She looked at the sleeping baby in her arms and her eyes filled for the hundredth time in the last four hours. This was to have been a wonderful reunion and it had all gone to hell. And she'd thrown Nick out? How wrong was that? Garrett began to stir and she felt the dampness seep from beneath his blanket onto her arm and she realized it had been hours since she changed him. From the rising volume of his cries, it was way past time to eat, as well.
"Well, come on young mister Carter. Let's get you cleaned up and get something in your tummy." Cooing nonsense at the infant, she set off for the bedroom to find his terrycloth sleepers and to change into something more comfortable for herself, too. Passing into the first bedroom, she stopped and looked around in amazement. Already in place was a crib and a huge rocking chair, perfect for her to sit in with the baby for the duration of their stay. Nick must have arranged for it ahead of time. Nick- The tears spilled over at last, a result of the past week and the buildup for today and the ultimate letdown of being apart from Nick yet again. And she'd been so horrible to him, and he'd planned all of this.
So maybe she'd been wrong? No, he'd yelled at her. Okay, so he'd raised his voice at her. But he hurt her, and then he'd fought with Howie and Sarah and … oh, hell. She was tired, so damn tired and her head hurt and her blood pressure was probably up. She didn't even want to know how high. She changed Garrett's diaper, wondering perversely if he'd be sorry if she had a stroke. That would teach him. She smiled at the thought, but then realized she'd be leaving Garrett without a mother and right now she wasn't sure anyone she knew, including Sarah, was fit to raise him. And damn, she was tired. And Garret was howling for his dinner.
Wearily, she sank into the rocking chair to nurse, and as the little blonde boy suckled at her breast, her tears began to fall again. Hours passed, and the phone had rung countless times, the message light flashing insistently, reminding her to call the operator for her messages. There was no one she cared to talk to. An hour ago, she had called the front desk and asked them to hold all of her calls, including those of her husband.
Dinner had been forgotten as she rocked continuously, singing to Garrett and letting her mind wander. She was miserable. Finally around 11:30 she put him in bed and tried to get some sleep, but the bed was too big and cold and Garret had begun to cry almost immediately. Now it was 2 a.m. and he was still crying, and she was still rocking him and she was still crying, too.