Part 363
Climbing on the bus, Sarah’s first priority was to go to the bathroom and throw up. AJ followed her and when she was done, he helped her up and handed her a face cloth. Then they went out to the couch where they sat down together.
"Oh god, Alex! What in the hell is it about me?" questioned Sarah angrily.
"What do you mean?"
"Why do I keep getting knocked down? Why can’t I just be happy, have a normal life with the man that I love more than life itself, raise my children with him? Every time I turn around…every time I think Howie and I are happy, something happens."
"’Tigger’, I wish I knew," said AJ as he brushed her hair back.
Sarah moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder as he put his arms around her. She looked down at his arms and ran her fingers along the tattoos, tracing them. Softly she said, "You’re not a freak, you know."
AJ smiled, "Yeah, maybe not in your eyes but to everyone else, I am."
"In everybody else’s eyes, am I a slut?" she asked tearfully.
"NO!! You aren’t!"
"Then why? Why do guys think that they can take advantage of me?"
"Sarah, I’m not the one to be asking. I’m one of those guys," said AJ.
Sarah heard the guilt in his voice and realized what she had done. "No, Alex!! God, NO! You’re my best friend. You weren’t in control of your actions!! Russell and David…they knew exactly what they were doing though."
"Being your best friend and high just makes it worse, Sarah! I’m no better than them."
"That’s NOT true, Alex! You made it right! You apologized," cried Sarah as her tears finally began to fall. "Oh god! I can’t keep doing this!"
"You need to go to the hospital, Sarah," coaxed AJ.
Her body stiffening, she said defiantly, "NO!"
"Sarah, the babies…you need to make sure this didn’t hurt them and talk to a counselor."
"NO, ALEX! No more hospitals. The babies are fine."
"Howie’s not gonna accept that and you need to talk to someone about this. Sarah, you’ve been raped!"
"I know how to deal with it."
"No, you don’t! Don’t try to tell me you do either. Now, I understand not wanting to go to the hospital but please, let me have a doctor come here and check you out. He can recommend someone for you to talk to."
"NO!" she said stubbornly. "I’m fine, Alex. I just need a shower and I’ll put makeup on to cover the bruises."
AJ decided not to argue with her. "I’ll wait for you out here," he said softly.
Sarah looked at AJ and he saw it in her eyes. No matter what she said, he knew she was scared. He could see it in her eyes. Those eyes…they were the mirror of her soul. Those eyes…they were what held him spell bound every time he found himself looking into them. When she was happy, they sparkled like diamonds but now, they were dull with the fear and anger that she felt.
Tenderly, he caressed her cheek. "Sarah, there’s no need to be scared," he soothed. "I’m here and Howie will be here soon too. None of us…Kevin, Brian, Raoul, Carlos, Todd, Ben…are gonna let anyone ever hurt you again."
Sarah put her hand on AJ’s. "Thank you."
There was a knock on the door and AJ said, "It’s probably Kevin. Go on and get your shower. I’ll let him in."
Giving her a tender kiss, AJ watched as she went back to take a shower closing the door behind her. Hearing a second knock, he went to the front to let Kevin, Nick, and Becca in.
"Where is Sarah?" asked Kevin as he made his way onto the bus
followed by Nick and Becca.
"She’s in the back getting a shower. Where’s Howie?"
"Still talking to David. How is she?"
"Not good, Kevin. She’s refusing to go to the hospital and to be honest, I’m not sure Howie is gonna be able to change her mind."
Becca spoke up, "She needs to get checked out."
"I know," agreed AJ. "But it’s going to do more harm if we upset her arguing over it."
"AJ’s right," said Kevin. "She’s got to do this willingly."
Nick had stopped in the door between the front seats and the living area, scared to go any further. Meekly, he suggested, "Why not get a doctor to come here?"
Becca watched Kevin’s reaction to Nick’s suggestion. She could tell he thought it was a good idea but was unwilling to acknowledge him so she spoke up, "She’s got a list of doctors for each city the tour goes through. We could call one of them to come out."
"Where’s the list?" asked AJ.
Looking around the bus, Becca said, "It should be with her business stuff but who knows where they keep that."
As Kevin, AJ, and Becca started searching, the bus doors whooshed open and Nick stepped out of Howie’s way as he asked, "What’s going on?"
"We’re trying to find the list of doctors to call one for Sarah," said Kevin.
Howie moved to the cabinets, reached in, and pulled out a file. He handed the file to Kevin and the bouquet of flowers to Becca. "The list should be in the front. Call the one with a star by it and tell him that I’m gonna be bringing Sarah in for a check up."
Becca moved to find a vase to put the flowers in for Howie as AJ said, "’D’, she’s gonna fight you on this. We thought maybe we could get them to come here."
"We thought we could get the doctor to recommend a counselor too," said Becca. "She needs to talk about this."
Frustrated, Howie snapped, "I know what my wife needs, damnit! I don’t need you to tell me."
They all understood where Howie was coming from but it didn’t stop Becca from tearing up. She hated seeing what this was doing to Howie too.
Kevin said calmly, "Howie, we’re just trying to help."
Remorsefully, Howie took Becca into his embrace. "I’m sorry, Bec. I know you’re trying to help. I’m just…"
Becca silenced him as his tears threatened to fall. "I know," she whispered. "We’re all hurting."
AJ spoke gently, putting his hand on Howie’s back. "Why don’t you go back there with her?"
Releasing Becca, Howie wiped his tears. "I’m going. Go ahead and call the one that’s starred and see if he’ll come out and I’ll talk to her about at least calling her counselor in Florida."
"We’ll be out here when you’re ready. Where’s Jesse?" asked Kevin as Brian joined them.
"Raoul’s got her. He’s gonna take her to get ice cream and go to a
park."
They all nodded and watched as Howie headed into the back room closing the door behind him. The small group of concerned friends settled in to wait as Kevin found the list of doctors. He pulled out his cell phone and made the call. Then a tense silence settled over them all as they waited.