Part 379
Leaning against the elevator wall, Howie ran his hands through his hair as the day’s events played out in his mind.
Kevin looked at him and asked, "Are you okay, ‘D’?"
"Just tired, Kevin. Between Sarah’s hormones this morning and then all this BS this afternoon, I’m wiped out. I just want to go in and crash."
AJ snickered, "Sarah’s hormones this morning would have been enough for me."
"You didn’t see her on the bus when I had to explain the charges being dropped. This morning was NOTHING."
Innocently, Nick asked, "What happened this morning?"
The other four laughed remembering as Brian explained, "Sarah was having a craving for HER sausage gravy and biscuits and the restaurant we went to for breakfast didn’t serve it."
Nick laughed, "I can just picture the temper tantrum she threw…I saw one similar from Jesse."
Howie shook his head, "Jesse’s just a warm up for Sarah’s. God…I dread Jesse as a teenager knowing what Sarah’s like."
They all laughed as they stepped off the elevator.
Raoul and Billy were there to greet the boys and out of nowhere, an idea stuck Howie.
Pulling a slip of paper from his pocket and his wallet, Howie said, "Raoul, I need you to do me a favor and it’ll make your job tomorrow a WHOLE lot easier."
"What’s up, ‘D’?"
"Take this recipe down to the kitchen and give the chef this." Howie handed Raoul a hundred-dollar bill. "Ask him to make this dish EXACTLY like the recipe calls for and deliver it to us by…"
Howie looked at Kevin for a time. "Nine, I guess. Everyone should be up by then."
"Have him deliver it by nine."
AJ pulled out his wallet, "Here, I’ll chip in to make sure ‘Tigger’ gets this breakfast."
AJ handed Raoul another hundred and before he knew it, the other three handed him the same. None of them relished the thought of Sarah throwing another temper tantrum and after today, they wanted to do whatever they could for her.
Raoul shook his head, "Five hundred dollars just to make sure she gets a breakfast that she craved THIS morning. Howie, you DO know that her cravings shift from day to day. What if she doesn’t want it tomorrow?"
"She’ll want it," sighed Howie. "She didn’t get it today and until she has it, she’ll still be craving it. Thank you for doing this."
"No problem."
Billy swiped the key card through the lock letting the boys into the suite. None of them were surprised by what they found; Becca was no where to be found and Sarah was hunched over the computer provided by the hotel. She was so engrossed in what she was doing that she didn’t hear them coming in.
Howie didn’t try to be quiet as he went to her but as he put his hands on her shoulders, she jumped. Laughing, he gave her a kiss and said, "I’m sorry, Angel. You usually know when I’m behind you."
"It’s okay. I was just really into what I was doing."
Coming through the room, Nick asked, "Where’s Becca?
"Asleep," grinned Sarah looking back at Nick. Seeing the look, she went on, "Yeah, I know. She told you she’d wait up for you."
"I told her to go to bed."
"Yeah, and she insisted she was gonna wait up, I’m sure. You just have to know how to get around that."
"How did YOU manage it?"
"Simple. I lied and told her I heard Garrett. I knew once she went into the room, she’d give in and go to bed."
As Sarah was talking to Nick, Howie, Kevin, and AJ had gathered around her at the computer and saw the pictures of battered women flashing across. The one that caught all their attention was a familiar face. It was Sarah.
Nick had seen it too from where he was in the room and asked hesitantly, "Where’d that picture come from?"
"My mom took it for me after I left Russell," replied Sarah softly taking Howie’s hand in hers. "I kept it as a reminder of why I left and that I was right to leave."
"Why would you need something to remind you that you were right to leave a monster like him?" asked Brian.
"You guys have to remember that Sarah and I were raised in the Catholic Church and divorce is frowned upon."
"As far as the church is concerned, my first marriage never existed. It was annulled based on this picture and the testimony of the ER doctors who treated me after he beat me and after Chrissy ran me down."
"So what are you doing with these pictures?" asked Kevin.
"Okay, first. I want you to see ALL that I’ve done. Then I’ll explain what I want to do."
Sarah turned back to the computer and started the file again. She moved so that Howie could sit and hold her as they watched pictures of Sarah as a little girl and Jesse flashed across the screen. Then she clicked on a new file with pictures of battered women began. These pictures made the guys cringe and Howie held Sarah just a little tighter as she felt his tears on her shoulder.
When the picture show was over, Kevin asked in a guarded tone, "What’s going on, baby?"
Closing the program, Sarah said, "I want to change my set, add in three songs."
"Why?" asked Brian hesitantly.
"Well, here’s the deal. Becca and I talked tonight about her AIDS foundation and I asked her to sing with me, like we use to do in college."
"Where’s this leading, ‘Tigger’?" asked AJ as they all moved to the couches to settle in to talk.
"What did Bec say about singing?" asked Nick.
"She said she had to talk to you. After she went to bed, I called Tyler and as we were talking, I had this idea. Here’s what I had in mind…even if Becca doesn’t agree. I want to do ‘Wild One’. It’s about a girl growing up and her father telling her she can be anything she wants to be. That’s what the pictures of Jesse and me are for. It’ll lead into ‘Independence Day’, about a woman who’s beaten by her husband and use the pictures you saw."
"Why include one of you?" asked Brian.
"To drive the point home…that it can happen to anyone. Here, I wrote out everything I want to say between songs for you to see," said Sarah handing Kevin a piece of paper. "After ‘Independence Day’, I’ll bring Becca out and we’ll do ‘Does He Love You’ and I can explain how all this is tied together."
Kevin handed the paper to Brian and along with AJ, the two read what Sarah had written and Kevin said, "I like this, Sarah. Are you sure you want to do this though…tell the world about what Russell did to you?"
Looking over her shoulder at Howie who gave her a wink, she said, "I’m positive, Kevin. It’s my way of taking control of my life…taking it away from Russell. He can’t hurt me anymore."
Rubbing her arms, Howie said, "We’ve talked about this before. Sarah wants to add a battered woman’s shelter on to the center. A safe house for women to be able to go to, take their kids, and know they are safe while they start their life over…a fresh start like Sarah had…that WE made sure she got. In exchange for shelter and daycare, they have to work two days a week at the center while they’re there…cleaning, paperwork, whatever needs to be done."
"How is it going to be funded?" asked Nick.
"Donations," said Sarah. "And I can get local, state, and federal funding for that and for the rape hotline I want to set up too. I can put it out to the public’s awareness when I perform and I can help Becca raise awareness for her AIDS foundation at the same time."
There was a fire in Sarah’s eyes that Kevin, AJ, Brian, and Nick had thought would never return as they had watched her pour her heart out at the meeting earlier. Now, watching her in Howie’s arms, they saw her taking complete control of her life, putting an end to Russell’s reign of terror, making sure that Jesse and other young girls never had to go through the same nightmare.
Kevin nodded his head, "Baby, you go ahead and do this. It’s perfect."
"What if Becca doesn’t agree to sing?" asked AJ.
Sarah looked at Nick, silently asking him for help.
"I’ll do what I can, sis."
"If she doesn’t, I can still get Krystal to do the other part of ‘Does He Love You’ and I’ll tell about Becca’s foundation. I want to help her as much as I possibly can. She truly has the fairy tale ending."
"You will too, Angel," whispered Howie as he kissed her on the neck. "What about the legal aspect?"
"That’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about. Steve is too cold-hearted for this. Becca trusts Heidi and I want her to take over my legal affairs."
"Suits me. I’ll call Steve tomorrow and let him know."
Sarah gave Howie a kiss and beamed, "Thank you, ‘D’."
Reaching over to take Sarah’s hand, Nick looked into her eyes. His blue eyes were full of a love that he’d tried so hard to hide from her. Softly, he asked, "Why? Why couldn’t you tell us the whole story? You had to know that we all love you, that we would have supported you."
Sarah smiled sweetly as she squeezed his hand. "Of course I knew, Nick, but I was ashamed of what happened. Until right after Alex raped me, I blamed myself for what Russell had done to me and then the look of disappointment in your eyes and Brian’s and Becca’s when Howie and I told you about what had been going on with Alex and Kevin. I couldn’t stand to see that again. It took me a while to tell Howie everything and Alex knew most of it. I don’t think I surprised him with anything tonight."
AJ shook his head, "Nothing except the miscarriage."
"Why did Russell beat you if you were pregnant? I thought he wanted children," asked Brian.
"He did but he didn’t know I was pregnant. I hadn’t told him but I had been to the doctor. I told him about the drugs and he said that the baby would most likely be born addicted and with possible birth defects if I even carried to term. When he found out that I was, well, he went on a binge."
"Why did you tell AJ?" asked Kevin with a look of hurt that just about killed Sarah.
"I’m sorry, Kevin. Because of the drugs, Alex and I had talked about it."
AJ spoke up, "While we were dating, she never tried anything that I was doing except for the alcohol. One day, when I was sober, I asked her about it and that’s when she told me about Russell getting her hooked. When they came to see me in rehab, on their way to Hawaii, they told me the rest of what happened."
"Mainly because of what happened in Nashville," explained Howie.
"When I got out of rehab, I asked Sarah to be my sponsor, mainly because of our schedule. At nights, after the shows, it’s too late to call my sponsor through the clinic, and I needed someone who was here with me, more available."
Everyone took in what AJ had said now fully understanding the relationship between AJ, Howie, and Sarah. Everything that had happened after Nashville was crystal clear.
Breaking the silence that had besieged the group, Brian asked, "Sarah, why is it so important for you to help Becca with her foundation?"
"Besides the fact that Becca is my best friend and she’s got the fairy tale with the happy ending, it’s kinda close to home for me."
A chill went through Kevin as what Sarah wasn’t saying registered. Scared, he asked, "Are you trying to tell us that you’re…oh god, Sarah…the twins?"
Realizing what Kevin didn’t want to say, Sarah quickly said, "NO! God, NO, Kevin! I’m sorry. No, after all the drugs and the fact that Russell slept with any woman who came along, I’ve been tested every six months…the last one was when I went for my first OB appointment back in July."
"And they’ve all been negative," added Howie to reassure them all.
"But now I have to worry about David. He was heavy into drugs too at one time and I have no idea about his sexual preferences. Kevin, don’t the crew members have to have a physical before they’re hired?" asked Sarah as she laced her fingers with Howie’s. "Blood tests?"
"Yeah, they do."
"Can you find out if David tested negative for HIV?"
"I guess, but we have to have his permission to look at his records now that he’s no longer employed by us."
Sarah’s eyes clouded with anger and Howie felt her body tense. "Why the hell do we need his permission? Did he ask MY permission to do this to me?" hissed Sarah.
"Whoa! Back down, baby."
"Don’t coddle me, Kevin! That bastard RAPED ME!" The tears stung as they slid effortlessly down her cheeks.
Howie squeezed her hands. "Sarah, you’re angry with David, not Kevin. Don’t take it out on him," he reminded gently.
Sarah turned her face into Howie’s chest as she whimpered, "I’m sorry, Kevin."
Kevin’s heart broke. "It’s okay, baby. Why don’t you let Howie take you to bed? You’ve had a long day."
"I can’t sleep," she whispered.
"Let Howie get you one of the sedatives then," suggested AJ with concern.
All five men knew this sign. Sarah was afraid to go to sleep for fear the dreams would start. Despite the brave façade she put up for the crew and everyone else, she was terrified.
Nick put his hand on her leg and said, "Sarah, let it go. You don’t
have to be brave for us. The jerk hurt you and you have the right to be scared
and angry. What you need is for ‘D’ to remind you how a REAL MAN loves a
beautiful lady."
Through her tears, Sarah smiled, "Thanks, Nicky! Howie HAS been showing me…ever
since we met."
Howie kissed her on the forehead as he wiped the tears away. "Besides, we can’t make love for a couple of days."
"Why not?" questioned Kevin. "I thought you said everything was fine."
"It is, Kev, but the doctor suggested we wait a couple days to let Sarah heal. You know this wasn’t exactly consensual. He forced himself on her."