Part 380
Seeing Brian’s discomfort with this line of conversation, Sarah decided to change the subject. She had wanted to ask Nick about not going to see Kellie and now was as good a time as any.
"Nicky, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I am now that we’ve talked."
"No, I mean with Danny’s death. You didn’t go with us to see Kellie."
Nick’s face dropped at the memory of his talk with Becca. "I just couldn’t face her yet, Sarah."
"Why?"
"You need to suck it up, Nick…that’s the adult thing to do," said Kevin in a fatherly tone.
Sarah shot Kevin a nasty look and he blushed realizing he was being the prick Becca had accused him of being earlier.
"Nicky, what’s wrong?" asked Sarah.
"I can’t, Sarah. I can’t face her. She’s lost him, the father of her children. He’ll never be able to hold his infant daughter like I hold GT every night. I’m happy. I have Becca by my side and GT and we have a beautiful future together. What is her future gonna be like without Danny?"
"Her future is in her two little girls, Nick," soothed Sarah.
"You know, Nick. When I thought Sarah was on that plane and wondered how I was going to go on, AJ told me that I still had a piece of her. I had Jesse. And when Sarah and I talked about all that, we both realized that even if one of us were to die tomorrow, we’d still have the love in our hearts that we share. Yeah, it’s hard to imagine not having the one that you wanted to spend your whole life with but the love that you share when you’re together, that’s what you have to hold on to. Their love will never die. Kellie will see Danny’s love every time she looks at those little girls. You don’t need to feel guilty for having Becca and GT with you."
"I know you’re right, ‘D’. I just…"
"Take your time, Nicky," soothed Sarah. "When you’re ready, I know Kellie will be thrilled to see you."
"Can we PLEASE change the subject?" asked AJ. "This serious shit has really drained ALL of us today."
Sarah looked at the guys and remembered the video. "Kevin, what about the ‘Drowning’ video? Don’t you need to talk to Nick about it too?"
"Yeah, we do."
"What’s up with the video?" asked Nick.
As Kevin went to get his bag that he’d dropped by the door, Brian explained that management wasn’t very happy with it. He said they thought it was too dark and wanted them to reshoot it at a later date when the tour went through California.
Sticking the tape in the VCR, Kevin resumed his seat and they all turned their attentions to the TV. As the video began, Sarah scooted down to rest her head on Howie’s lap and put her feet in Nick’s.
The guys were engrossed in the video, critiquing it but for Sarah, she was watching it from a fan’s point of view. As Howie appeared on screen and the rain began to fall she sighed dreamily. They all snickered at her as Howie ran his hand through her hair.
With the video over, the guys began discussing it. Sarah listened intently realizing that they were in agreement. She also realized that they weren’t considering the fans’ perspective.
"I think you’re all crazy to want to redo the video."
"Why?" asked Brian.
"The fans have seen pictures of you guys and they’re looking forward to seeing this."
"But it’s not what we’d imagined," said Kevin. "And after everything that’s happened, it should be bright and uplifting."
"Angel, it’s just like yesterday with your video. You weren’t happy with Jaime being in the video as your boyfriend and despite your attempts to be professional, it came across on camera. We can’t put this out if we’re not happy with it."
"It’s your video and your decision but I think you need to consider the fans. They’re looking forward to wet, completely legal Boys."
They all laughed knowing she was talking about Nick being only sixteen in the ‘Quit Playing Games’ video.
"We are considering the fans, Sarah. We appreciate your imput but we have to redo this for ourselves," said Kevin. "Looking at our schedule, we can do it after the Bakersfield show. We’ll just have to stay on the buses."
"Where are we gonna do it?" asked Brian.
"They’ve picked a monastery in the valley. It’s isolated and quiet."
"Until you five show up," smirked Sarah as a yawn escaped.
"Come on, Angel. It’s time to go to bed."
"But I’m…." another yawn, "Not sleepy."
Howie laughed, "Maybe not, but I am."
"Need to borrow some lube from Nicky?" asked AJ.
Sarah giggled catching AJ’s drift and said, "Maybe we should let Nick and Howie go to bed together…so they can take care of each other’s needs."
Howie groaned as Nick hit Sarah with a pillow.
"Nah, Sarah….we can’t let that happen," said AJ. "Then Kevin will get all jealous that Nick’s with Howie."
"LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS," said Kevin flatly looking at his watch. "Go to bed guys. It’s almost two."
Sarah sat up so that Howie could stand. He took her hand pulling her up into his arms and gave her a kiss. "’Nite, guys," chorused the couple as they headed to their room arm in arm.