Part 94
It was after 3 a.m. by the time Billy returned with Nick. Numerous x-rays had shown a small break, nothing big, but enough to make the next few shows dangerously difficult. If he fell again there was the possibility he could do permanent damage to his wrist. Billy had also kindly reminded him that decking AJ hadn't done it a hell of a lot of good either. Nick was *so* looking forward to telling Kevin *that* little tidbit. He sighed as he opened the door to his room, momentarily forgetting that Kevin was even there.
In the semi-dark he jumped when Kevin spoke from the far corner. "You ok, Kaos?"
"Damn… Kev, you scared the hell outta me."
"Sorry. Nick, you look like shit."
Nick smirked beneath the pain. "Thanks a fucking lot."
"Ok, so you look shittier than usual?" Kevin grinned. "What'd they say about your hand?"
"It's broken, alright. Not too bad …"
"But bad enough to make it dangerous, right?" Kevin knew by the look on Nick's face that he'd hit the nail on the head. "Look, Nick, don't take this so hard. It was an accident. I know, the shit with AJ probably didn't help, but if I was in your shoes I probably would have done the same thing."
"Why are you being so cool about all this, Kev?"
"I guess because going off on you won't solve anything, and what's going on is all connected to AJ." He rose from the chair and stretched his tired back. "What did they say about performing?"
Nick hedged. "Just to be really careful."
"Nick, don’t start that crap. What did they really say?"
"That if I fall again it could be messed up for good."
"Damn." He would have said more, but Becca began to stir. "Look," he whispered, "I'll see you two tomorrow. Sleep in, Nick, we don't have anything until late afternoon."
"Yeah, I will. They gave me something before I left and it's startin' to kick in."
Kevin pulled him into a hug. "I'd have done the same thing tonight, Nick. You and Bec have worked too hard to find each other to let AJ screw it up. Take care of her, ok?"
"'Nite Kev," Nick whispered closing the door.
Kevin walked slowly back to his room, deep in thought. Something Nick had said was tugging at his brain … Hell, he was too damn tired to think. Maybe in the morning he'd remember what it was.
*******
Nick stood silently against the door watching Becca as she slept. She looked so innocent and he hated that that had nearly been taken away from her. But Sarah …. God, he had no idea how she and Howie were coping as well as they were, especially Howie. What was it that kept him from tearing AJ limb from limb?
Nick began to undress and a sense of deep despair held him in its grip. It seemed like every time things began to get better, God came along and took it all away. Damn it all, anyway.
Becca turned in her sleep, reaching for Nick, but he wasn't there. "Nick?" she mumbled sleepily.
"Right here, baby. Go back to sleep," he whispered.
"Come to bed, Nick."
"I'll be there in a sec." In the silent dark he struggled with his shirt, trying to take it off with one hand and failing miserably. "Shit," he cursed quietly.
Becca sat up, pushing her hair back and trying to see through the dark. "Nicky, what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, Bec, I didn't mean to wake you. I just … I can't get my shirt off. This cast …"
Becca sighed. "C'mere, let me help." She patted the bed next to her and he sat down, his eyes downcast. "Does it hurt?" she asked, gently stretching the sleeve of his t-shirt to pull it over his wrist.
"Nah, not too bad. They shot me full of something before they'd let Billy bring me back." He grew silent again as his mind wandered away.
Becca rose to her knees behind him and began kneading the tense muscles in his shoulders. "Are you all right?" she asked softly.
"No." He shook his head, silent tears beginning to fall. "It's all falling apart, Bec and I don't know what to do to stop it." He leaned back against her as she wrapped her arms about him, resting her cheek against his back. "These guys are all I've known, my entire life practically. I never thought he could do anything like this."
There was no doubt in her mind that he was speaking of AJ. "Baby, he's not well."
"I know that, Bec. Really I do, but damn … look what he did to Sarah. All I can think is that he could have done the same thing to you."
"We don't know that he *would* have, Nick."
"No, we don't, but what about the baby? I have to think about both of you, Becca. If anything had happened to you or the baby-" His shoulders shook as grief overwhelmed him and there was nothing Becca could do but hold him as he wept for the loss of an innocence that none of them could ever fully reclaim.
It was well after four a.m. when sleep finally claimed them both. Nick had finally drifted off, his head cradled against Becca's breast, his injured arm resting over her stomach. Neither heard the soft footfalls outside their door around nine when Kevin hung up a 'do not disturb' sign as he followed AJ to his bus.