Yes Sportsfans, it is true. I have been put to the test to go one week without poop. Chronic 32 No More Pooh has arrived and there will be no more mention of Poop stories in issue starting NOW!!!
Party Poopers...
I recently attended a party and decided to down a few and break the seal, since there was no line for the bathroom. So as the party filled up, more people started going to the bathroom. My second trip in, I find pee all over the toilet seat. And since it was an all girls apartment, I had to do all the clean up duties to stop anyone from thinking it was me that sprayed the rim. Bastards! Can't they just lift the seat up. So that dilemma ends and the third trip to the pee-pee room starts another. Since there are alot of people I don't know at the party, I decide to hold my flatulence for the bathroom. I go in and release and what do you know...someone knocks on the door. I say, "I'll be right out" and quickly try to wave the scent away while searching for air freshner...None to be found. So what do I do? I take three pumps of hand soap and frantically wash my hands hoping the soap smell will disguise it all. It doesn't work as well as I had hoped so I step out of the bathroom and to my pleasure, there is no one waiting by the door. Saved by Zero. A clean getaway with no witnesses. (See, no poop involved)
After waiting on a long line outside of the movie theatre on a cold night with a cold, I cram into a packed room full of people saving seats, ringing cell phones, sticky floors, and a germ infested "hotter than hell" atmosphere to realize one thing...
I HATE HOBBITS!!!
If everyone reads my Chronicles then I will have no more stories to tell. Therefore the live version of Kevin Chew will merely be a rerun. I guess that means I have to either save some unwritten stories for the Live show or incorporate a pet monkey into the act.
When you realize most of your material is derived from movie qoutes (or poop stories but we won't get into that one)
Crappy Links
Poop Home
The Dirty One
Dirty Diaper
