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Chronicles 75: Three Quarters

Being a New Yorker is starting to be humiliating. Aside from the 3-0 choke, we are getting another damn fare hike (with less service and token booths)from the Beloved MTA to welcome us into 2005. Those bastards at the MTA are now trying to put the blame on The State of New York for lack of funding. Damn them All! There is no winning for us, ever.

Suck on This!
A Note to All Boston Red Sox Fans:

Big deal. Nothing changes. We still have class and Yankee Pride.

A Note to Yankee Fans:

We have no more class and pride left...We got beat by Idiots!

But it's Okay, we win all the time. Now who's getting traded!


Puppet Sex.

After watching "Team America," I must say that the funniest laugh out loud part of the movie was the puppet porno. I saw my first puppet nipple. Go see for yourself and take me with you (you pay)



Law and Dis-Order.

Law: My co-worker recognized me on a episode of Law and Order SVU that she and her daughter were watching

Dis-Order: Of course, I had no idea it was on so I missed it

Law: She had Tivo so she said she would tape record it for me

Dis-Order: That was two weeks ago and I already reminded her once.



I want regular t.v. programming back. I am tired of seeing ugly people on Reality TV. I see that in reality, why would I want to see it on t.v.
Mustache Handbook.

Now that I am growing facial hair, I have let my mustache grow out but I learn things the hard way...through personal experience. For Example, When you blow your nose, make sure you don't accidentally wipe the snot on your mustache. Even after I wiped it off, it still felt like it was gelled in there.


My "Emotions of the Week" in 1 Sentence:
I have lost all desire to work or be productive in society because I have not yet received my raise.

E-S-Pee.

Isn't it great when you know your cell phone is about to ring because your hear a buzzing from a radio or cd player that is next to your phone. If you have no idea of what I am talking about, try it...it's very annoying


X-Mas Gifts.

Why would anyone want to get me "Everybody Loves Raymond" DVD when I can watch it 3 times a day for free. But You can still get me The Matrix Box set even though I have Matrix: Reloaded on DVD. As Kevanu, I feel I have to own the box set.


Two Year Olds.

At work, we have candy left over from our fundraiser from two years ago. Just recently, they brought all the left over candy into my office for storage. Yeah, good idea, just store it longer and it will magically turn into money. So my plan, for the sake of the company, was to eat whatever I can. I am currently living off of Atomic Warheads, Sour Gummy crap and old Snickers bars that are partially white. The good news is that the made my poop turn a funky color.


HUMBLE MOMENT: When you can sit on the bowl and savor the stink of your own shit. You kind of wish that you can invite someone in.

HUMBLE MOMENT TOO: When you sit on the bowl and you can smell that someone was just taking a shit on the same bowl

Closer...My Co-worker and I shared poop stories and they happen to be the same...they stunk bad and they were a funky grey green. It must be the fact that we have the same diet. 2 year old candy and whatever we can get for free or under $2 for lunch. This is what happens when you work for a non-profit company...you deal with non-profit crap all day.




In case you guys forgot, I met Coldplay. Check the link to view, in my opinion, my finest Chronicles...

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