Hey guys, I know you can't be here with me so I am giving you the chance to learn about Japanese Culture. Here is this week's social comment:
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Yes, Welcome to my social comment page. Just because you aren't here , doesn't mean that you can't experience what I'm living. On this page I will be talking in brief or in detail (depending on how lazy I am) about an aspect of Japanese life or culture.
This report is about Japanese Family life and its structure. Firstly the immediate family.
My father, Mr Ochi is a very nice man. In terms of Japanese fathers he is part of a new breed. In history past, Japanese fathers were seen as celebrated bread-winners. Hardworking men who everyday went out into the workforce to toil and toil, returning each night to a warm meal and a thankful family. He rarely spent quality time with his family and sometimes would not return home until the late hours (like 11 or 12pm). This late return could be attributed to two reasons.
Firstly within Japanese society there is a special pecking order found in every workplace. This pecking order can be ascended or descended based on merit, either won by true hard work or by sugar coating the boss. Brown-nosers are not hard to find and if you go to any bar or restaurant on a weeknight you may find groups of Japanese Salarymen drinking and smoking (and picking up the bill) with their bosses. In the same way the boss or manager of a company may take some of his favoured collegues out on the town to sugar them up too. This practise is also used on potential business partners.
The second reason is that the said father figure has a mistress (which is not unusual amongst powerful figures in the business community). As a funny side note, there are now several semen testing products now on the market for worried wives wanting to know if their husband is straying. I saw some in a catalogue the other day! My own Jfather is different in that he spends a lot of time with his family and seems to be quite in touch with the family life. However, I have never seen him do a bit of house work, save take out the trash, and he never helps with dinner of a night time. Jdad's job is to work downstairs in his timber mill (I kid you not) and earn money. At night he expects food to be on the table and his clothes to be cleaned and so on. But that being said he's a very funny man and very easy to get along with.
My Jmum is also a very lovely lady but in my opinion she works way too hard. It is not unusual for Japanese mothers to stay at home and be house wives and indeed a while ago it was the done thing. But now, in the liberated future many wives are taking up jobs, leaving the kids at day care and earning their own way. This being said, it is also very hard to find a house hold that is exactly 50:50. My own Jmum cooks and cleans for a family of six. She hardly gets any help from Jdad and never from my Jbrother, who is the manifestation of slobiness. Komaki (my older Jsister) often helps in the kitchen and is compiling a cookbook for herself, presumably for when she has to become a mum herself.
I help too, when I can, but its hard to do anything past washing up and and setting and clearing the table as I am not a Japanese Sous chef yet. But I always make Japanese hot tea for everyone and am planning a dinner sometime in the near future. Jmum does the clothes washing every day and has every meal ready on time without fail in between working as a receptionist for my Jdad and looking after us kids. She is a typical, but still very modern mother and laughs much everyday.
My sisters help in the household whenever they can. They are normal kids and as they are girls, are expected to help mum in the house. Japan is still a very sex dominated place and it is not unusual for the fairer sex to do everything in terms of housework.
My brother is a typical male son. He doesn't cook, he never cleans (and his room reflects that) and he never helps Jmum do anything. In fact he doesn't really talk to her, he kinda just grunts and she decerns something from that and gets him what he wants. Infact I have seen both father and son grunt 'gohan' (rice) and shove the bowl at my Jmum and then have her totter off to get them more rice even if she hasn't finished chewing her own mouthful.
My Jgrandmothers and one Jgrandfather (the other is dead) both hold a very respectable place in the family and are treated with a special kind of respect and awe. This is of course very normal in asian families as in my own where my grandma is the matriach of the family. In Japan, two generation households are not uncommon and in such the grandmother and mother would hold joint housework reign, with the grandfather being king and father being prince and so on.
In a sense, even with the sexist attitudes and uneven work loads, Japanese families are very balanced and seem to work together quite well. Speaking from a woman's point of view, I would not tolerate doing all the work. However, that being said I do find myself basking (as I did at home) in being looked after and thank my Jparents everyday, as all you exchange students should do to the best of your language abilities.
I hope this has opened your eyes to a part of Japanese life and has taught you a bit about the world. If you find any mistakes, have any information contributions or just want to share your own views please drop me an email. Until next time we meet...