A Splash of Holy Water! 

Episode 301:  The Christening
Verily, Look At Them!
By Carmexa

There, in the city between two rivers, lived a curly-haired nymph, and she was called Felicity.  And verily, it was the season of extreme heat, and verily, she was alone and despaired, for her love was far away from her.   Finally, her love returned to her, and he was the Holy One, who was called Ben, verily, and there was much rejoicing.

Upon the Holy One's return to the city between two rivers, the nymph showered him with kisses of worship, and proposed that they cohabitate.   The Holy One agreed, being of a perfect and agreeable nature, and the nymph rejoiced and proclaimed her bliss, verily.

And so they went forth and entered their new shared abode, and suddenly, verily, the Holy One realized that, mayhaps, such a space was not appropriate for someone of his esteemed standing.  Everywhere he cast his divine glance, there was grime and filth.  Where the Holy One and the nymph now dwelled, also dwelled roaches and rodents and ballerinas of Russian origin, and these factors, combined, made their new shared spaced seem small and insufficient.

But the curly-haired nymph dreamed, verily, of romance and bliss (and sex, although, verily, the nymph admitted that no sex had thus been had, for the aforementioned reasons:  bugs and rats and gorgeous girls) and decided that all would be grand, verily.

Still, things ran amiss, and lighting fixtures became aflame with the spirit of angry electrical fire, and much went wrong, and the Holy One and the nymph fought as infant hyenas do.  Verily, they scattered in opposite directions and fumed to their respective confidants and despaired.

After a miniscule amount of thought, the nymph and the Holy One realized that there were things much more important than silly quibbles about icky, unwanted, unholy creatures, and that those things were their adoration and appreciation of one another.  And so, the Holy One resolved to make their environment welcoming and lovely.  Meanwhile, the nymph resolved to let go of her idealized notions of romantic cohabitation and to give up the hell-hole residence.

When she returned to aforemementioned hell-hole, verily, she found it alight, for verily, the Holy One had inflamed balls of wax to create a lovely ambience.  When the Holy One learned that the residence was no longer in their possession, he was suprised, but verily, relieved, and there was much rejoicing.  To celebrate, the Holy One and the nymph situated themselves in a large tub filled to the brim with holy water, and they basked in bliss of their mutual love and planned for their puture together.  Then, they coited, and all was well with the world, verily.   Amen.

(Also, verily, the evil bloated one (reduced size and lack of capitalization intentional) who was called noel disappeared and the universe rejoiced.  Other things happpened in this span of time, but none of them matter.  Amen.  Again.)