Ship Stickers *I*

IBM: The stupidity goes in when the name goes on.

I Brake For No Apparent Reason.

I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.

I can handle pain until it hurts.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

I'd love to go out with you, but I'm having all my plants neutered.

I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.

I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

If all else fails, throw up.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.

If God had intended man to watch TV, he would have given him rabbit ears.

If I can't fix it, it ain't broken.

If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.

If it's not nailed down, it's fair game.

If it's too loud, you're too old.

If life's a trip, then where's my ticket?

If money could talk, it would say goodbye.

If ours is a man made world, why can't we remake it?

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

If you can't be weird, why be?

If you can't go first class, charge it.

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

If you don’t like the way I drive, then stay off the sidewalks.

If you're gonna go, go obnoxiously.

If you're gonna panic, panic constructively.

If you understand something today, it must be obsolete.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

I hate old people 'cause they smell like wee.

I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.

I have crossed and recrossed the line between sanity and madness so many times that I have all but rubbed it out.

I is a college student.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.

I'll be post-feminist in the post-patriarchy.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

I love cats. Wanna swap recipes?

Imagination is the foundation of reality.

I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

I'm doing my part to piss off the Religious Reich.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I'm objective; I object to everything.

I'm only driving this way to piss you off.

I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?

I'm serious; it was a joke.

I'm surrounded by idiots!

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

In theory, everything works.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.

I see dumb people.

i souport publik edekasion.

Is there life before coffee?

It doesn't matter how hard you've studied; the material won't be on the exam anyway.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.

It looks like blind screaming hedonism won out.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

It's all a pigment of your hallucination.

It's an IBM; it's got an excuse.

It's beautiful the way it is; why spoil it by making it legal?

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

It's been Monday all week.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

It's not what you say in your argument, it's how loud you say it.

It's only a game until you lose.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

I've given up trying to escape from reality; they always find me anyway.

I've no time to prepare a profound message.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....

I wouldn't know how to act if I weren't in trouble.