My parents
are Stupid.
Page 2
Waahhh...Rizla here.
I'm really tired today. I didn't get much sleep last night. Mummy and Daddy were
talking really..really loudly in the their bedroom late last night. First mum
started shouting "YES...YES.....YES, YOU HAIRY ANIMAL, DON'T STOP" and then dad
yelled " "JESUS CHRIST ..I'M SO HOT..THIS LEATHER BONDAGE GEAR IS KILLING
ME"...he's quite religious my dad..I always hear him praying at night like that.
Anyway mum said something really rude quite a lot of times and then she screamed
" QUICK GET THE BABY OIL" , I was a bit upset cos I thought mum bought that for
me. Then dad must have got very hungry cos he said " GET THE PINEAPPLE RINGS AND
THE WHIPPED CREAM ....." that's his favourite, but the night before he wanted
Rice and peanuts thrown at him... anyway.. that went on for about two hours.
Later I heard dad go out with his mates. I fell asleep for a while...but later I
heard a lot of noise so I went downstairs. Now my dad had just got back from
shopping, he'd bought three nice TV's, two new videos, and lots of nice
jewellery for mum. I was just telling him how stupid he looked, cos people don't
wear stockings over there heads, when all these sirens and flashing lights
started.....and lots of men in party hats came round to play with daddy. They
asked my daddy where he had been all night, but daddy didn't seem to know the
answer to that question so I told them that he'd been night shopping.
My dad loves jogging and tried to go for run but the other men wanted to have a
wrestle with him. My dad managed to get his base ball bat out but nobody had a
ball, but they all had water pistols though. I think my dad needed to go to the
toilet then - real bad - cos his trousers all went wet and brown. Mummy got out
of bed and wanted to make sounds like a bell on daddies head with the Wok. But
all daddies friends wrestled with him and after a while they gave him some nice
bracelets and took him for a fast drive.
One funny hat man stayed behind to chat... ..he wanted to know why mummy had
whipped cream all round her face. So I said "She always does, she stupid" and
told him what mummy and daddy say to each other at night, and he really enjoyed
that story....and I think it made him hungry too, because mummy asked him if he
liked pineapple rings. I asked him if he would rather watch TV because we have
24 in the garage.
Later I asked mummy if dad would be back soon, but she said "He was going for
long holiday and the man with the hat would be staying with us for a few months"
see ya ...Rizla.-
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