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Opening Theme: "Spunk" by Greek Buck

Scene 1: Inside Babylon, a hot gay nightclub.

Music- "Can you feel it" by The Tampered

(camera glides over a crowd of attractive half naked men dancing the night away)

Michael: (voice over) The thing you have to know is, it's all about sex. It's true, in fact they say men think about sex every 28 seconds, of course that's straight men, for gay men it's every 9. You can be at the supermarket, or the laundry mat, or buying a fabulous shirt, when all of a sudden you find yourself checking out some hot guy; hotter than the one you saw last weekend, or the one you went home with the night before; which explains why we're all at Babylon at 1 in the morning instead of at home in bed. But who wants to be at home in bed?, especially alone, when you know at any moment you might meet him, the most beautiful man who ever lived, that is until tomorrow night. (camera on attractive shirtless man) By the way that's me, 6'1", 46 inch chest, 16 inch biceps, 21 inch waist, a veritable god...I wish. (camera turns to the real Michael) Okay that's me. Michael Novotny, the semi cute boy next door type, 29, 5'10", 140, 9 and a half cut, alright so I exaggerate, but like who's told the truth since they invented cyber sex? (camera angle widens to include Emmett and Ted on either side of Michael, drinking in the bar area)

Music-"Let's Hear It For The Boy" by Katty B.

Emmett: When did 70s' night become 80s' night?

Ted: I don't remember this song from high school, talk about feeling ancient.

Emmett: Speak for yourself, I was a mere child.

Michael: (voice over) And those are my two buddies, Ted and Emmett.

Emmett: Give me those divas of disco any day, Gloria Gaynor...

Ted: Donna Summers.

Michael: And Miss Alicia Bridges.

All: (sing) I love the night life, oh I like to boogie on the disco hiaaa, ahhh...(cute guy walks by)

Emmett: My god, have you ever seen anything more beautiful?

Ted: Venice and sunset.

Emmett: (to Ted) Fine, you go down the Grand Canal, I'll go down on him. Oooo...

Michael: (voice over) Emmett can be a little campy, okay a lot campy. But you've got to admit it takes a lot of guts to be a queen in a land of commoners.

Ted: The problem with perfection is it's inability to recognize anything less perfect than itself.

Emmett: (to Ted) In other words, you hit on him and he turned to down.

Ted: (nods and whispers) Yeah.

(Michael sympathetically places his head on Ted's shoulder)

Michael: (voice over) Ted's this really smart guy, and he's got a really big heart, only nobody here's interested in that organ.

Ted: Why am I wasting my time staring at a bunch of over-pumped princesses with I.Q.s smaller that their waist... (another cute guy walks by) Jesus, look at him.

Michael: (voice over) Like I said it's all about sex, except when you're having it; then it's all about: 'Will he stay?', 'Will he go?', 'How'm I doing?', 'What am I doing?'. Unless of course you're Brian Kinney.

Music- "Synasthesia" by Junkie XL

(camera zooms to Brian grinding with another man on the dance floor)

Then it's 'Who gives a fuck what you think?, you're lucky to have me'. (Brian pulls dancing partner by the top of the pants to the "back room" area, where all the guys get their thang on)

(camera back to Emmett, Ted, and Michael)

Michael: I'll get Brian. (Michael walks through "back room" area where men are having sex, he spots one of his friends having anal intercourse) Hey Todd, how's it going?

Todd: (smiles) Fine.

Michael: (to Brian, who's about to engage in oral sex) We need to go, we want to eat.

Brian: I'm just going to give him my number.

Michael: What'd you do, write it on your dick? How long is this gonna take.

Brian: (looks at partner) 10 minutes, tops.

Scene 2: Emmett and Ted are on the sidewalk outside of Babylon, waiting for Michael and Brian.

(drag queen walks by)

Emmett: Mm Bruno, love your outfit. (to Ted) Not everyone can wear tangerine.

(Michael enters)

Ted: (to Michael) How long are we gonna wait? I gotta work in the morning.

Michael: Who doesn't? He said he's be right out.

Emmett: Yeah we've heard that one before.

Ted: This is some great system he's got. He gets to party all night and you drive him home.

Michael: It's no big deal okay.

Emmett: (looks at guy near snack cart) Mmm, don't look now, but somebody's watching.

Michael: (looks) Oh him, he has been cruising me all night.

Emmett: Mm, playing hard to get. I love that in a man.

Michael: I am not playing, just not interested.

Emmett: Check out that bubble butt, and that basket, nothing there but the big bad wolf.

Michael: Would you quit staring, there's more to a guy than his cock size.

Emmett: Mm.

Michael: Or his perfectly shaped ass.

Emmett: (laughs)

Ted: (to Michael) Which is why you read all those comic books with those superheroes in their little tights, for the plot.

Michael: I told you, I'm not interested.

Ted: Maybe just for once you should be. Show a certain someone he's not the only one who can score.

Scene 3: Justin enters, he's walking down Liberty Avenue staring at all of the lights and the people, he takes out a cigarette and lights it.

Music- "Deeper Love" by Ruff Driverz

(Justin approaches an older man who is leaning against a light post)

Justin: Excuse me, uh could you tell me like, where's a good place to go?

Older Man: Depends on what you're looking for. If you want Twinkies, go to Boy Toy, if you want leather, go to The Meathook, if you want snotty, conceited assholes who think they're better than everybody elese try Pistol. It's kind of late to be out though, isn't it?, especially on a school night. Why don't you come home with me? (he touches Justin's face)

Justin: (pulling away) No thanks.

Older Man: (chuckles) Go on home to your mommy. Go on...

(Justin walks away)

Scene 4: Back to Emmett, Ted, and Michael.

Music- "Sandstorm" by Darude

(Brian returns and leans on Michael with his arm around him)

Michael: That was quick.

Ted: Not when you've had as much practice as he's had.

Brian: I got bored.

Emmett: (sarcastically) I know getting your dick sucked can be so tedious.

Michael: Well he looked pretty hot to me. (getting into Brian's Jeep)

Brian: Anybody'd look hot to you.

(before getting into his Jeep, Brian spots Justin leaning against a post)

Michael: (standing in Jeep) (voice over) And that's when it happened, when he came along.

(Brian approaches Justin)

Brian: How's it going'? you had a busy night?

Justin: Just, uh checking out the bars, you know, Boy Toy, Meathook...

Brian: Meathook?, really, so you're into leather?

Justin: Sure.

Brian: (nods) Where you headed?

Justin: No place special.

Brian: I can change that.

Scene 5: Brian and Justin are in Jeep. Emmett, Ted, and Michael are on sidewalk.

Emmett: Hey!, Hey!, what about us?

Brian: You can ride with Ted.

(Brian starts up Jeep and drives away)

Ted: Thanks a lot.

Michael: Asshole!

Emmett: (spots the man that has been cruising Michael) Well if it isn't Miss Riding Hood and her big basket.

Michael: Find someone else to stalk. I'm not interested. Go home!

(Michael and Emmett get into Ted's car)

Scene 6: Brian and Justin arrive at Brian's apartment.

Brian: Coming in?

Justin: (in doorway) Hm?, oh yeah.

Brian: Shut the door. (takes shirt off, and swigs from a bottle of water)

Justin: (sides door shut and takes a deep breath) This is a really nice place. (Brian pours water over his head, and the camera glides down his dripping muscles) I like your kitchen.

Brian: Do you like Special K?

Justin: It's okay, I like Cheerio's better.

Brian: (takes shoes off) I don't mean the kind you eat with bananas. My disco pharacologist cooked this one up for me. (takes Special K out of pocket)

Justin: I'm really allergic to a lot of drugs. My doctor gave me penicillin once, it nearly killed me, and Tylenol...

Brian: Tylenol? No one's allergic to Tylenol, Tylenol's what they give you when you're allergic to everything else.

Justin: Oh well, uh codeine, codeine's the worst, like I get diarrhoea and start vomiting uncontrollably at the same time.

Brian: Well, we'll make sure to keep that one on the top shelf. Out of reach. (unzips pants revealing underwear, then proceeds to take off pants and underwear, facing Justin naked, he stands with his arms out awaiting approval) So are you coming or going?, or coming, and then going?, or coming and staying?

(Justin takes off his jacket nervously)

Music- "You Think You're A Man" by Full Frontal

(they kiss passionately with their bodies pressed against one another, Brian undoes Justin's pants takes Justin's clothes off slowly, the camera spins around them)

Scene 7: Outside Michael and Emmett's house.

Emmett: Thank you for the ride. (kisses Ted's head)

Ted: Cya.

Emmett: Bye (Ted drives off). Oh my god look, he must have followed us. (he sees the guy from the snack cart)

Michael: Christ that's just what I need.

Emmett: Honey, it's what we all need. Hey, when was the last time you got laid? My point exactly, if you can't remember, then it's time. Now where are your manners? Go, uh, go invite the gentleman in while I make sure none of my fine washables are hanging in the tub.

Scene 8: Brian and Justin on Brian's bed.

(Brian is masturbating Justin on top of him, Justin breathes heavily)

Brian: Don't come yet.

Justin: I'll try. Oomph...stop. (he touches Brian's hand, and then sighs in relief)

Brian: What do you like to do?

Justin: Do? I don't know. Watch TV., play Tomb Raider...

Brian: (chuckles) I mean in bed.

Justin: Oh, this is fine.

Brian: Are you a Top or a Bottom?

Justin: Top!...and Bottom.

Brian: Oh, you're versatile then.

Justin: And ambidextrous, which is really confusing at first because I can never figure out which hand to throw with.

Brian: Do you like to rim?

Justin: Sure!, I love it.

Brian: Great. (leans toward Justin) Go to it. (pause) Well...

Justin: Um what exactly do you mean?

(the phone rings, Brian answers)

Brian: Yeah? (absent minded continues to masturbate Justin)...What?...When?...Are you kidding me? No of course you're not kidding me...When did it happen?...Why didn't you call me? Well of course I was out...I can't believe it (Justin comes)...Shit! Jesus Christ! I told you not to!

Justin: I tried. I'm sorry. I tried, I tried...

Brian: All over my new duvet, thank you very much. (he shakes the sperm off his hand)

Justin: Oh, it'll wash out won't it? I mean you should see my sheets at home.

Brian: (to person on other line) Just some kid. What's your name again?

Justin: (disappointed) Justin.

Brian: Justin. I'll be right there. (hangs up, and looks at Justin disapprovingly)

Scene 9: In Michael and Emmett's apartment.

(Michael is standing with the snack cart guy, kissing)

Emmett: Ooo, don't mind me, just uh, can't sleep without my milk and Oreos. (goes into bedroom, and takes one last glance at Michael and partner)

Michael: That's my friend Emmett who's staying with me temporarily, since the hooker who lived down the hall from him burned his apartment building down two years ago.

Snack Cart Guy: Two years is a long time to be temporary.

Michael: And yet it hasn't interfered with my love life, which I suppose says a lot about my love life.

Snack Cart Guy: Do you mind if we skip the back story and cut the the chase? It's almost two in the morning.

(they continue to kiss, they moan, Snack Cart Guy feels Michael's butt)

You have a great ass.

Michael: Oh yeah? (puts hands in Snack Cart Guy's jeans) So do you, it really...(pulls out false butt) FIRM.

Snack Cart Guy: It's called 'The Butt', I got it in a catalogue.

(phone rings, Michael motions for Snack Cart Guy to hold on)

Michael: (answering phone) Parts Department.

Brian: Melanie called. It's happened.

Michael: What?! Oh my God! When?

Brain: I don't know I had my damn cell phone off. I'm picking you up in two minutes.

Michael: Now? I kinda got my hands full. (looks at partner, he takes a false penis out of his pants)

Snack Cart Guy: 'The Buldge', you order both, you get as discount.

Brian: Who's that?

Michael: Uh, no one.

Brian: Mikey, you've got some one there with you. I can't believe it!

Michael: You should only be here.

Brian: Forget about it, don't let me bother you. Fuck the shit out of him!

Michael: No wait, uh pick me up, I'm, I'm ready. Now.

Snack Cart Guy: Are we gonna do this or not?

Michael: I am really sorry. Uh um a friend of mine needs me. It's an emergency.

Snack Cart Guy: Shit, after all that?

Michael: I know. I promise we'll reschedule though, no ifs ands or... (hands partner the flase butt)

Scene 10: Justin is sitting on Brian's bed, Brian is hurriedly getting dressed.

(Brian tosses Justin his clothes)

Justin: What's going on?

Brian: Everything, come on get up, you gotta go.

Justin: Where?

Brian: Home.

Justin: I can't go home my, my parents think I'm staying at a friend's.

Brian: You live with your parents?

Justin: Well I'm still in school, I mean college.

Brian: What year are you in?

Justin: Junior, Sophomore, between my Junior and Sophomore year.

Brian: How old are you?

Justin: 21.

Brian: What year were you born?

Justin: ...1979.

Brian: Bull shit, you had to think before you answered that. How old are you really?

Justin: 20...(Brian walks by plates of glass, between each plate Justin gives a different age) 19...18.

Brian: Well what is this a missile launch?

Justin: 17.

Brian: What is it with kids today? (sits on bed next to Justin)

Justin: We just want to get laid like everybody else.

Brian: Have you ever been with anyone before?

Justin: Sure. Well... not exactly. This is sort of my first.

Brian: I figured... kind of young aren't you? (Justin rolls eyes) Well I was 14 my first time.

Justin: That's really young.

Brian: With my gym teacher.

Justin: I bet he was some old perve.

Brian: That old perve was probably the same age that I am now. It was after school in the locker rooms, he was taking a shower. I went back for something, a book, a jock strap, I don't remember. (pauses reflecting) Anyway there he was all naked, soaping himself. He saw me there, a big boner under my chinos. (laughs) Shit I walked right into the showers with all my clothes on-

Justin: No!

Brian: -Got down on my knees and sucked him off right there.

Justin: He let you?

Brian: Let me? He loved it.

Justin: I bet you were scared.

Brian: Well I guess we're all a little scared our first time. (gets up) But I don't remember anymore.

Scene 11: Michael is waiting outside his apartment building, he looks at his watch.

(Brian drives up with Justin in the passenger seat)

Michael: You brought him?

Brian: He's got nowhere to go. Get in!

(Michael hops into the back seat and shakes his head a little and sighs)

Scene 12: Brian, Justin, and Michael run down the halls of a hospital alternating places.

(they enter a room and on the hospital bed lays Lindsay with Brian's newborn son, her lover Melanie is at her side, stereotypical lesbians surround, the camera zooms in on Brian)

Brain: Oh my god.

Lindsay: Say hello to your son.

Michael: Well go on.

(Brian walks over)

Brian: When did it start?

Lindsay: Six hours later, there he was.

Brian: I wish I could have been here. How often do I get to see snatch?

(laughs)

Lindsay: He looks just like you.

Brain: I guess he must be mine then.

Lindsay: Wanna hold him? (she hands the infant over)

Melanie: C.. Careful, don't drop him.

Brian: That's just what I was planning on doing.

Lindsay: We've been thinking of names. Mel wants to call him Abraham after her grandfather, but I like Gus.

Brian: (looks at Justin) What do you think?

Justin: You wouldn't survive a day in school being named Abraham, but I guess Gus is okay.

Melanie: Thank you very much, and who the hell are you?

Brian: His name's J-

Michael: Justin.

Brain: You were on the phone when he shot his load all over me.

Lindsay: Oh Brian.

Brian: He can't help it, he's only 17.

Melanie: So you and Lindsay each hand an infant tonight.

Brain: But mine doesn't suck on my tits. Unless I want him to. (Justin smiles) Gus it's a good butch name. Come on Gus give your daddy a smile (Michael takes a picture of the father and son, Brian turns to the camera and smiles)

CONTINUE