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Script: Continuation of Episode 1 Season 1
Scene 13: Brian is smoking on the roof of the hospital, Michael enters.
Michael: It's disgusting all those lesbians fawning over him and making goo-goo talk.
Brian: That's what women do over babies.
Michael: I wasn't talking about the baby, I mean Justin. (pause) It's kind of weird you having a kid, still it's exciting isn't it?
Brian: What?, having some wrinkled little time clock ticking away, reminding you that you're getting older by the minute, by the second...
Michael: Keep thinking like that, you're gonna end up prematurely gray, op I think I see one. (plucks one of Brian's strands)
Brian: Ow (playfuly pushes Michael). Why didn't somebody try to stop me?
Michael: Hello? Somebody did. But you wouldn't listen. You had to let Lindsay fill your head with all her bull shit flattery. 'Oh Brain you're so good looking. Oh Brian y.. you're so smart, oh you've got such great genes Brian, and I don't mean your 501s.' And now you're stuck with a kid, for life.
Music- "Proud" by Heather Small
Brain: There is always one solution. I could end it all right now (he jumps onto the ledge of the building).
Michael: Oh that would be dramatic, just like on E.R., birth and death in the same episode. Now get down!
Brian: No, you'll have to come get me.
Michael: I'm serious. Stop clowning-
Brian: Or I'll jump!
(Michael looks over edge, then at Brian, Brian extends his hand out to Michael, Michael takes it, and Brian pulls him up and puts him in front of him with his arms around Michael's chest)
Come on Mikey, let's fly like in all those comic books. I'm Superman! I'll show you the world!
Michael: Why am I always Louis Lane?
(Brian snuggles his face against Michael, there's a pause, Michael turns to Brian and hugs him)
Congratulations... dad. (Michael kisses Brian, and they hug again)
Scene 14: Brian and Michael are walking down a hall of the hospital
Brian bumps into a doctor, they exchange glances)
Brian: Sorry.
Michael: Honestly...
Brian: Fucked him.
Michael: You did not, you looked at him.
Brian: That may appear to be what happened, but we did it all.
Michael: Oh really?, and how was he?
Brian: Fabulous. Want one? (offers Michael a pill he has taken out of his pocket)
Michael: (gestures no)
Brian: More for me. (pops pills into his mouth)
Michael: Listen, you're gonna go say goodnight to Lindsay, and you're gonna go home, and go to bed and get up, and go to work for the next twenty years to support your kid.
(Brian and Michael walk through a door)
Lesbian: (holding Justin's hand) See this line, how deep it is? That means you're very creative.
Justin: That's true, I want to be a cartoonist or a computer animator.
(Brian pulls Justin by the ear, leading him to the exit)
Brian: It's far too lesbionic out here for a young boy. Out. (to Michael) I'll meet you out front. (Michael and Justin exit, Brian takes wheel chair and wheels himself into Lindsay's room)
Scene 15: Brian enter's Lindsay's hospital room.
Nurse: I'm sorry sir, you'll have to come back tomorrow. The mother needs her rest.
Brian: So does the father
Lindsay: It's okay nurse.
Brian: (to baby) Sweet dreams sonny boy. First night on earth...
Lindsay: (to Melanie) Hon, could you get me some ice and maybe something fizzy?
Melanie: How about some Gingerale? (kisses Lindsays hand) Mmm. (to Brian) Uh anything for you?
Brian: Uh if you see any amyl nitrite lying around.
(Melanie leaves) Alone at last (he sits down next to the bed and puts his arm around Lindsay).
Lindsay: Careful (Lindsay holds her stomach).
Brian: Well here we are, Maw and Paw (Lindsay starts tearing up). Hey...
Lindsay: Don't mind me, just feeling a little vulnerable (laughs).
Brian: I promise not to tell.
Lindsay: Who would have thought, you and me parents.
Brian: It's pretty scary boys and girls. Do you think it's too late to return it?
Lindsay: We could try. (laughs) I guess this means we're finally grown up.
Brian: Don't say that Wendy, we'll never grow up.
Lindsay: Don't be scared. If our parents can fuck up so can we.
I don't want you to worry, about money I mean. If you need anything-
Lindsay: No we'll be alright but thanks (she kisses Brian's cheek).
Brian: I would have fucked you, you know. If I wasn't afraid your lover'd beat the shit out of me.
Lindsay: Stop...
Briam: I mean it, she could take out Oscar de la Renta.
Lindsay: You mean la Hoya (fake punches Brian).
Brian: Whatever (laughs).
Lindsay: Well you had pleanty of chances.
Brian: I took advantage of a few as I recall.
Lindsay: Wasn't half bad.
Brian: Now you tell me, you mean I could have been straight this whole time?
Lindsay: I wouldn't say that.
Brian: I guess it's just as well.
(they look at each other and kiss, Melanie walks in)
Melanie: (hold up a pitcher) ICE?!
Scene 16: The guys are in the Jeep, Micahel's driving and Justin and Brian are in the back seat.
Music-"X-Hale Slowly" by Bootsy McQueen
Brian: Tick, tick, tick... Tick, tick, tick...tick-
Justin: What are you doing?
Brain: Hu... I'm just repeating the first words my sonny boy said to me. It wasn't "dada", it was tick, tick, tick, tick. Smart little fucker, he can tell time already.
Michael: (adjusts mirror) Brian what did you take?
Brian: (crazed) A, B, C, D, E E E... I'm just teaching my kid the alphabet. (gets close to Justin) I'm gonna fuck you. (talks with lips pressed against Justin's check) I'm gonna fuck you all night.
(Justin breathes heavy, Brian unzips Justin's pants and attempts to go down on him, Michael swerves)
Brian: (jolts up) Shit!
Michael: Sorry, I didn't want to hit that doggy.
Brian: Fuck the doggy.
Michael: (to Justin) Okay boy wonder I'm taking you home, where do I turn?
Brian: He's going with me.
Michael: Oh no he's not.
Brian: Pop quiz, no talking. Here's your question, multiple choice: Do you wanna come home with me? A) Yes, B) Yes or C) Yes. Tick, tick, tick, time's up, pencils down, what do you say?
Michael: None of the above. He's going home
Justin: I'm going with him.
Brian: Good boy, you get an A+.
(They kiss passionately)
Scene 17: Brian and Justin are on Brian's bed rimming.
(Brian licks Justin's back until he goes past his anus, Justin groans)
Brian: Now you know what rimming is.
Scene 18: Emmett is sipping coffee and Michael is standing in the living room section of their apartment.
Michael: He called me, practically begs me to go with him, knowing full well that I'm with someone for the first time in I don't know how long.
Emmett: Seven months, two weeks and three days.
Michael: Thank you. And even though the guy wasn't all he was cracked up to be-
Emmett: We'll let that remark pass.
Michael: -at least he wanted me. Me. (sighs, and sits down next to Emmett) God I am so horny.
Emmett: Poor baby. (gets up to retrieve a video) Well I have just the thing. A new porn video, it all takes place in a prisoner of war camp. Hot, horny men starved for action.
Michael: I can relate to that.
Emmett: Guaranteed to make your private stand up and salute. (hands Michael video case)
Michael: "Shindler's Fist"?
Emmett: (loads video into VCR) Ugh (gets up)... here (hands remote to Michael). I will leave you two alone. I am sure you will have a deep meaningful relationship. Good night. (exits)
Michael: (clicks play)
Video: Voice One: Okay private drop trou and bend over. Voice Two: For my physical sir? Voice One: No, target practice! Voice Two: Yes sir!
Michael: (rolls eyes and turns it off)
Scene 19: The sex scene between Brian and Justin is continued.
Brian: Put your legs up on my shoulders (Justin obeys). That's it...
Justin: Wait in school we have this lecture about safe sex.
Brian: And now we're gonna have a demonstration. (grabs condom and rips open the packaging with his teeth, he gives it to Justin) Put it on me, go on, slip it on my dick (Jusin obeys). (Brian takes some KY Jelly and squirts it up Justin)
Justin: Ah, it's cold.
Brian: It'll heat up.
Justin: Just... go slow okay? (Brian enters Justin) Ah, ah, uh, uh... It hurts, does it always hurt?
Music- "So Good" by The Aloof
Brian: A little bit, but that's a part of it. Now relax, I want you to always remember this, so that no matter who you're ever with, I'll always be there.
(Justin looks up at Brian, touches his arm, they kiss hotly, they repeat the kiss, Justin rubs Brian's hair, his hands then wander to his back, Brian dives into Justin's neck, they kiss again and rub each other)
Scene 20: Brian and Justin are asleep on the bed.
(the alarm rings, disturbed Brian slams it off, Justin looks content and puts his arm around Brian and they sort of snuggle up against one another)
Brian: (coming to his senses as Justin comes into vision) What the fuck are you doing here? Justin: You said I could stay.
Brian: Right, your parents, they think you're at a friend's.
Brian: (sits up) Jesus Christ, (looking at mess of an apartment) what the hell happened? Don't tell me... I was doing hand stands.
Justin: And juggling, you're not very good.
Brian: Shit, why do I do these things? I'll tell you why, it was that fucking pig Enita. She told me that was E, that wasn't E, that was some shit they cooked up in a bath tub in Tiawana.
Justin: That's why you should never take drugs that aren't perscribed by a physician, or recommended by a reliable pharmisist.
Brian: What are you? A public service announcement? Get dressed, I'll drive you home.
Justin: You can't, Michael has the car.
Brian: Why's he got it?
Justin: You were too high-
Brian: I know what happened, I was there, I remember everything. Perfectly. What was your name again?
Justin: Justin.
Brian: Yeah. Right... (sighs)
Justin: Can I take a shower?
Brian: Yeah but hurry up, it's through there (points), I think... (Justin exits, Brian gets up and walks over to the answering machine, he plays it).
Answering Machine: (Melanie's voice) Where the hell are you? I've been trying your cell, it's off. If you're there pick up. Brian? Listen, Lindsay's water broke, she's having contractions. We're at the hospital.
Brian: Fuck I have a baby. (he hears Justin's "ows", because of the temperature of the shower) Two babies...
Scene 21: Michael is asleep on the couch in his apartment, he wakes to the sound of a car alarm.
Michael: (bolts to the window, he see's Brian's Jeep being vandalized by two children) Holy shit!
Michael: (runs out of apartment) You little bastards get the fuck away from there.
Children: Faggot, queer, faggot!
Michael: Who are you calling a faggot?
Children: We've seen you. Queer! (throw spray cans)
Michael: (picks up can, then drops it at the sight of the Jeep)
Emmett: Morning. (sees Jeep and covers mouth) Oh my lord.
Michael: Mother fuckers! I'm calling the cops.
Emmett: Brian is gonna have a fit, you know how he feels about his Jeep.
Michael: Well if he cares so much about it, then he shouldn't have lent it to me. He knows what a terrible neighborhood this is.
Emmett: Well I, I was gonna ask for a lift to work, but on second thought I think I'll walk. Have a nice day (exits).
Michael: Shit! (kicks Jeep, and squats down to look at the mess, a headlight falls dangling by a wire)
Scene 22: Brian enters the bathroom and decides to join Justin in taking a shower.
Brian: Why didn't you tell me I had a kid?
Justin: You said you remembered everything.
Brian: Oh it all happened so fast, what's it's name again?
Justin: Gus, I'm the one who decided. (Brian chuckles) Did you actually fuck her?
Brian: Who? (Brian soaps up Justin)<?P>
Justin: Lindsay.
Brian: You're awfully rude.
Justin: Well did you?
Brian: I jerked off in a cup and they squirted it up her.
Justin: Gross, she must of really wanted a kid.
Brian: Most women do.
Justin: Even lesbians?
Brian: Lesbians are women, sort of.
Justin: My mom says sometimes she wishes she'd never had me.
Brian: That's probaby because shes stuck with this annoying brat for the rest of her life.
(they turn to one another)
Justin: So you gonna raise him?
Brian: Ha ha ha, me?, no way, the munchers are. But I'll be around to provide the masculine influence so important in every young boy's life.
Justin: I'll bet Melanie can do it better than you.
Brian: (slaps Justin's butt) Don't get smart or I'll have to spank you.
Justin: Really? (they kiss and look down, they are obviously aroused)
Brian: You ready for one more?
(Brian shoves Justin against the shower wall, kisses his neck and attempts to have intercorse with him)
Music- "Heavy Scene" by Meg Lee Chin
Michael: (drives up to Brian's building) Brian!!!
Michael: (enter's apartment and looks shocked at the mess, he walk's into Brian's bedroom where Brian is shirtless with Justin in his underwear kissing one another) Christ didn't you get enough last night?
Brian: There is no such thing as enough. Besides I couldn't send him off without a nourishing high protein breakfast. (like Tony the tiger, speaking into the side of Michael's face) It's GREEEAT!
Michael: (laughs and wipes off his face). (to Justin) Will you come on, I'm not gonna be late beacause of you.
(Justin sees Brian's underwear and stuffs them into his pocket)
I said hurry up!
(Michael walks out of building with Justin and Brian trailing murmering to one another)
Brian: (in viewing Jeep) Oh, that's beautiful Mikey, just beautiful.
Michael: It's not my fault. I told you about those two pychopaths down the street.
Brian: What a couple of tweleve year olds?
Michael: They start early these days. (to Justin) What are you laughing at?
Justin: Nothing. You, you sound like my parents fighting.
(Brian and Michael give each other a look)
Brian: It doesn't matter anyway, it's a company car. Well come on, we have to take the child to school.
Michael: In this?
Brian: (to Justin) Do you care?
Justin: Fuck no.
Scene 23: Brian, Michael and Justin in the Jeep drive recklessly through swarms of school children and stop with a swerve in front of Justin's school, there is finger pointing and laughing at the words "FAGGOT" in pink spray paint on the side of the vehicle.
Brian: Here we are sonny boy.
Michael: And be sure to come home right after school.
Brian: No lingering on the playground or in the locker room with the gym teacher.
Michael: Oh you did not tell him about that.
Brian: It's the most famous shower scene since psycho.
Student: (walking outside the Jeep) Hey Justin, you want to suck me off?
Brian: (opens door and confronts student) No, but I'll kick your tight little virgin ass so hard you won't sit down for a week.
(there are laughs, student runs away)
Michael: Can we get out of here?
Justin: (out of car, to Brian) When can I see you again?
Brian: You can see me right now.
Justin: I mean later tonight.
Brian: (laughs) Who knows where I'll be later tonight.
Michael: We better go.
(Brian gets into car)
Justin: Please.
Brian: I'll see you in your dreams.
(Brian and Michael drive away, Justin climbs steps of the school and meets up with Daphne)
Daphne: Where have you been? Your mom called, I didn't know what to tell her, I said you were still asleep.
Justin: I just saw the face of god.
Daphne: Huh?
Justin: His name is Brian Kinney.
Scene 24: Brian and Michael in Jeep.
Music- "More Effeminate Than You" by Robin Black
Michael: Thank god he's finally gone.
Brian: He almost wore me out.
Michael: Somebody wore you out?
Brian: I said almost. I'll drop you by the store.
Michael: The hell you will. You better get this thing re-painted before you get into the office.
Brian: I'm not having it repainted.
Michael: What?
Brian: I like it this way.
Michael: Are you crazy?
(there are car horns and strange looks from passers)
Brian: No they are, well I say "fuck 'em". They can right in neon across the sky (yells) "FAGGOT"!
(they laugh and drive off into the city)
END OF PART ONE, EPISODE ONE.