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J u n e   2 4 t h ,    2 0 0 3


I am putting myself in danger updating this page for all of you to read. Outside my window there is a severe thunderstorm going on. I had to wait until after the tornado warning was past and the lightning eased up a bit. After listening to the local radio station's weather report and hearing the safety tips I've decided to pass this knowledge on to you.

If you are at home when a thunderstorm hits follow these tips to stay safe:

    1. Make sure you have a battery powered radio nearby to listen to the chaos going on in your local radio station. This should ease the boredom related to sitting in a dark room waiting for the electricity to turn back on.

    2. Lightning causes surges of electricity that are known to fry toasters and televisions. Make sure you unplug your appliances and avoid the temptation of sticking your finger in an electrical socket while doing so.

    3. Do not call your grandparents to tell them you are about to die. Doing so may bring about death sooner as telephone lines have a tendency to conduct electricity.

    4. Wait until after the storm to take a shower. Metal pipes conduct electricity and taking a shower during a thunderstorm could potentially ruin your hair or end your life.

    5. Close the blinds and shades of your window and stay away from them. Flashing lights can cause seizures.

    6. Keep your pets on a leash. This tip is further explained in The Wizard of Oz.

J u n e   2 3 t h ,    2 0 0 3

I forget to mention why SpaghettiO cans are so dangerous. The reason for that is my typing skills were handicapped by a huge band aid on my left pointer finger. When I was helping out with lunch at the shelter I cut my finger when I attempted to open a can that had a huge dent on the top. I used the can opener to open the can and for some reason I tried to bend back the half opened lid. The lid snapped back at my finger and I knew that the SpaghettiO sauce wasn't that particular shade of red. I haven't looked at my flesh wound yet today, but I should probably do that soon...

Last night was a lot of fun. Kyrie called and we watched "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge" on the new TNN. This show puts the F-U back in fun. (No, I didn't come up with that on my own, it's borrowed material.) Anyway, the show is based off of a gameshow from China that has been brought over to the states. You'll laugh your neighbors grass off. I guarrantee it.


J u n e   2 2 t h ,    2 0 0 3

Careful kids, SpaghettiO cans are dangerous...

I spent the last two days of my life volunteering at a homeless shelter in downtown St. Cloud. Not quite as big and busy as Chicago, but it sure is a lot closer to home. I set up a projector and and all the other tech stuff for a service for the kids. Later I got to help out with a soccer game. Instead of scoring goals, the Lil' Romeo wannabes thought it would be funner to kick the ball at each other. They actually ganged up on this kid they called "Rapid Ash", but maybe it was "Rabid Rash". Poor kid, use sunscreen next time.


J u n e   2 0 t h ,    2 0 0 3

Today I spent as much time away from my computer as possible. I spent my day at James' house. Together with my brother and sister we played Risk. After finally agreeing upon the rules (we didn't have the directions) we began to play. My brother's forces were wiped out quickly and my sister struggled to hold on to Africa. We popped in a DVD, The Hot Chick, and continued to roll the dice. After we ordered a pizza and finished Happy Gilmore we decided to count up our pieces to declare the winner. I had 212 armies while James had around 180. I guess I won.
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I added some images from my last vacation to the Photo Gallery and added a link to Kyrie's awesome blog.

The core MAN

J u n e   1 9 t h ,    2 0 0 3


"what the geek is up with the picture[?]"
-A random quote from a fellow cyberspacer.


I found that quote to be quite funny and thought that I should share it with everyone. Thanks again Corey, or should I say, "The core MAN"? Of course he's talking about the picture with me on the old television. That image is a result of lack of sleep and the creativity of a certain insomniac.
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Do you know what's so special about the third week of June? Well let me tell you. It's my families annual garage sale. By family I mean my mom's garage sale. Selling brownies and lemonade for a dime just isn't as fun as it used to be. What's up for grabs this year? The stuff we didn't sell last year and a new couch that folds out into a bed. It's a real collector's piece with a flower pattern you just don't seem to see anymore. We're also selling my very first *sniff* computer. Windows 3.1 was all I ever needed in those days. Okay, I'm not that emotional about it. After all I wouldn't sell it if I were that attached to it.

The thing I don't like about having garage sales are the old ladies that come and look at everything. I am not a gerontophobiac, but it's just kind of... well weird. Most of our customers are older ladies. Here's how it usually plays out. After walking up the hill that is our driveway, they stop and thoroughly examine every little thing. When they get to our little makeshift checkout desk all they have in their hand is a little glass vase. Even if there is a price tag on it, they still ask how much it is. When they hear fifty cents they act so heart broken and then pull two quarters out of their little coin purse and drop them into my hand. Am I supposed to feel bad about this? I didn't make them buy my mom's old vase. It is a garage sale, and we are trying to make some money so that we can go on vacation. Should I send them packing on a guilt trip? I doubt they would be any happier if I told them I would let them buy it for a quarter.

Now I don't mean to be stereotypical, because I hate that. I've seen many cool grandma's buy my old toys for their grandchildren. I'd rather see my old junk go to some kid that will actually play with it for at least 15 minutes than to the dump. If you are still reading this (which I hope you are) all I have to say is this: Have a garage sale and sell vases to old ladies. You'll be rich!


J u n e   1 8 t h ,    2 0 0 3

I bet you're wondering what else I did on vacation...

Well, I got the chance to meet with Michael Jackson before he began to melt. No, I didn't travel in a time machine to Neverland Ranch. Instead I visited Wax World of the Stars! I even got the chance to pose for my very own wax head. (Pictures coming soon!) Before heading to Chicago we stopped in Milwaukee and went to the zoo to observe Prairie Dogs that may have been carrying monkeypox. We also observed a Rhino with a leaky facet. After all the excitement in the Dells we drove through Chicago. We spent a day at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, IL. Luckily I did not loose my cell phone to the lake beneath the Batman Ride. Confused? Go buy the new Relient K cd and listen to the first song a few times. And/or read my review. The weather reached a scorching 60° F. It was cold and I didn't get to put on a pair of pants until after lunch. Until then I was forced to wear some nice Hawiian patterned shorts and my jacket. I would have gotten to go on the new Superman ride if it wouldn't have broken down at 15 minutes to closing time. I wasted 30 minutes of my life in line reading about Superboy and Supergirl. Milwaukee had a nice museum. They had a nice butterfly room where the butterflies flew free and a replica of the statues on Easter Island. We stayed at the Hyatt outside of Naperville where I slept in and reaked havoc in the pool. Pillar stopped by to do an accoustic concert and sign my cd cover. That night we drove 9 hours to get home.




J u n e   1 7 t h ,    2 0 0 3

Just added a great picture of me and Skillet. All credit goes to Kyrie, thanks for capturing my ugly mug.

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Hey everyone, I've been hard at work working on a layout and posting some of my A+ papers. All the links should work, but if they don't... e-mail me!


J u n e   1 6 t h ,    2 0 0 3

Hey everyone out there in cyberspace. I just got back from the Chicago area and have been taking it easy. I'm working on a layout and learning a lot in the process. Patience is a virtue, so wait a little longer and the site should be up. Summer is definetely upon us and with it comes many decisions such as... What carbonated beverage will I trust to keep my internal structures at a reasonable temperature? The newest contenders are Mountain Dew Livewire and Tropical Sprite Remix. I've known about Livewire for a while, but when did the new Sprite come out? My sources say April of 2003. Hmm... I just spotted the stuff today. So what's the verdict? I'll probably stick to whatever's in the fridge. Livewire tastes like Orange Crush and Sprite Remix tastes like a peach flavored carbonated water. Anyone for Koolaid?

Now back to my most recent vacation...

We first traveled to the infamous Wisconsin Dells to observe the rainy season. We stayed at the Blackhawk Motel for the first night before we could check into the beautiful Christmas Mountain. Two rooms, two bathrooms, two TVs, a kitchen and a fireplace. Now that's roughing it. No tourist to the Dells could resist a ride on a Duck Boat. Naturally we chose the Dells Army Ducks. It was an enjoyable experience... until it rained. Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum was filled with a lot of cool stuff including a cow with six legs. Ever wanted to see the White House... upside down? Well it turns out that the government has been experimenting with anti-gravity devices and accidentally dropped the White House in Wisconsin. I am not allowed to discuss what went on inside, but for $12 you can find out for yourself.

Well, that's all for now...



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This page first appeared on 6.3.03
Copyright 2003, smarcus. All Rights Reserved.