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August 7, 2000
11:48 p.m.

Today was a much better day compared to some of the last several days.

Last night, after I got home from Josh's, I was talking to this guy Ben online. Ben was an instructor of mine in high school. He really intrigues me as a person because we are so alike in so many ways…beyond both being gay. It's a been a while since he's played the "teacher" role in my life, and I decided that I would email him. I sent an email to him earlier in the summer, but he had apparently not received it. I re-sent it to him, and today, he replied back. He said he was truly touched and impressed by my email to him. He suggested we get together for coffee or lunch sometime when we both have the time.



Work at PacSun was awesome because Jay was closing. The mall was so empty, therefore, the store was dead. Jay and I basically spent the night talking, and it was really cool. He seemed genuinely sad about me leaving the store. He mentioned that he was planning on leaving because he wasn't receiving the respect that he deserved. He told me that he has an interview tomorrow with GAP…my old employer. I wished him good luck, and we continued talking about something else.

The night went really slow, but afterwards, Jay and I talked a bit more. He asked for my email address and said that he would write me and keep me updated. He also invited me to go to Great America (amusement park) with him and a friend tomorrow. It was a really tempting offer, but I said that I had to go to my day job tomorrow. It would definitely be fun to go with Jay, but even if I wasn't working tomorrow, I probably wouldn't go because it would be too weird for me. I like to think that Jay and I have established a bond, but I still feel it's bit early to be experiencing a theme park together….whatever that means..

I said goodbye to him in the parking lot, and I drove off. He's a really great guy, and I'm really glad that I got to work with him…even though it was just for a short while. I'm excited about my last day at PacSun on Thursday because he's going to be closing. I am planning on giving him a card…. He's a really cool guy, and it would definitely be fun to have lunch with him or something, sometime…



Things with me are so much better. I no longer feel that I am incomplete as a person. I feel whole again…no heartache, problems, or concerns. I am going back to school this Saturday, and I'm excited to see what the new school year will bring. I accept any challenge, and I embrace all the difficult times that I will have because I know that they will just further shape and develop who I am… woohoo!!!










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