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August 31, 2000 As of Lately, I have been running into Taylor a lot. I am totally in love with guy, I just wish that I had the balls to go up to him and tell him. After classes today, I felt like such a lazy ass. I have so much homework to do for tomorrow, but I just don't have the energy to get off my ass and do it. After I had dinner with the girls, I went back to my room. I was in kind of a weird mood, and so I went outside to have a smoke. I sat in my old smoking stoop, and this one guy came walking up to me. We started talking. He said that he hated smoking alone, so he was glad that I had come along. I really do think that smoking is a bonding force between people. If you are just standing somewhere having a cigarette, and some else who smokes comes us…you'll both just start talking. Anyway, after having a cigarette together, we find out that we know some of the same people and that we both go to the same voice teacher. It's just weird. Anyways, this kid Dan who I've been having a smoke with leaves, and my friend Beth comes up to me. She mentions a mutual friend Matthew to me, and she says that he's at this one club, Boheme. She invites me to go dancing with her and all of the other guys because tonight was some big techno night. I have a long history with Matthew from my freshman year. He was probably one of the first gay friends that I have had here at school, and things sort of got complicated between us because he sort of had a crush on me, and I kind of liked him, but we never did anything about it. These days, he's going out with this kid Eric. I'm totally happy for him because I know how much he wanted a relationship like this, but things have been kind of awkward between us. Anyway, I tell Beth that I really had a lot of homework to do, and that I would have to not go. Honestly, though, I just didn't want to show up to this dance club if Matt was going to be there and he didn't invite me. I walked back up to my room, and on my computer is this long message from Matt telling me all about the dance club tonight. He said that he thought of me when he heard about the techno night at the club tonight. So, I started contemplating whether to stay home and do my homework or go and dance at the club. I called Dom to see if she wanted to go, but she said that she was deep into her homework at a friend's house. She said that she really didn't want to go, and this really put a damper on my events because she has really been the only one whom I have danced with. After about five minutes, I decide that I'm just going to go. I go to Beth's room, and tell her that I want to go, and so she told me to get her in about fifteen minutes to walk over to the club. I head towards my room, and I decided that it would be a good idea to ask Sam if he wants to go. Now, Sam is the guy who I met yesterday at the LGBTA Ice Cream Social. He was a little hesitant at first, but he said that he would. About thirty minutes later (about 10:30 p.m..) we are all finally headed over to the club. Beth had taken two of her friends, and I thought that maybe this might be fun. We get to the club, and Beth looks for our friend Matthew. She says that she saw him in the window, and so I head for the door to pay to get in. Her friends were really skeptical about the whole evening, and they ended up ditching, but I didn't really find this out until I was in the club. Anyway, the first person that I see when I come into the club isn't Matthew, but Taylor. I just about fell to the ground when I saw him. There weren't really a lot of people there, but there was good music playing and a lot of awesome people there. After about fifteen minutes of dancing, my friend Kara comes in through the door. All of last year, we had been talking about this dance club, and for the first time we were there together. So, this night was going to turn out good after all. We both danced the night away, and I was having so much fun….and not just because Taylor was there. Although, it was a definite, definite bonus to the night!! Matthew finally showed up with his boyfriend and a couple of other gay guys. We all were dancing and I was having a blast. It was really a great night because I really needed to just get away from school, friends…life in general. The whole night, I kept my eyes on Taylor, but I was too chicken shit to even start dancing with him or even go up to talk to him. He was alone the whole night, and it was such a perfect opportunity… At about 12:30, I told Sam that I needed to head home because I need to do a lot of homework. We started talking, and he said that he really needed a night like this too. He fell completely in love with my friend Trent, but Trent basically shot him down. He thanked me for inviting him, and I said that I was glad I had. Sam is a good guy, but I just feel so bad for him that his first two weeks of college have been so bad. He has just changed dorms because his old roommate was this big homophobe who couldn't deal with having a gay roommate. I'm just so glad that I have been as lucky as I have been with my roommate situations… I guess that I am all around fortunate guy. 
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