Maghrib
Chapter 7
Ardeth woke to find himself once more in Thebes, he lay in bed for a bit trying to simply enjoy the warmth and comfort of Rick’s arms. He kept his eyes closed, simply listening to Rick’s heart beat under his ear. He had no doubt that Rick has spent much of the afternoon and evening with Evelyn, likely in bed as they had both missed most of dinner and had arrived at the end obviously having just bathed. He was surprised that he was not jealous of that but he could not find any such feeling in his heart. He only wished that somehow he could have had a bit of that comfort for himself. He truly did not know how to face the upcoming battle with his heart still so sore from how many of his people he had already led to their deaths. He had tried to take comfort in spending time with his family and in watching Mohamed and Alex train with their horses. But all he could think of was that at some point they would be warriors, or in the case of Adham’s daughters married to men who were, and how then could he ask them to train and learn to fight when he was certain he would only be burying them as well at some point. How did you do this, father? Each time we go to battle I feel like my heart will shatter and never grow whole again. How did you find the courage so often to lead us to war? Even when I and your nephews were amongst your warriors? I do not know that I will ever be able to find that courage.
“Want to tell me what’s wrong?” Rick’s voice was soft in the brazier lit room and one hand began to stroke through his hair. “You’re so tense I can feel it.”
“Hmm. How long have you been awake?”
“About a minute before you were.” Rick answered. “Guess we owe Bastet or Horus or somebody a thank you again. Considering we keep going to bed in separate tents and waking up in your bed, without our weapons or boots in the way I notice.”
“Very true.” He started to get up. “There is coffee at least.”
Rick caught his arm. “You okay, Ardeth?”
He rolled his eyes. “I am fine.”
“Then why the rush? I thought we were going to spend the first hour we were here kissing.” Rick pulled him back and he went with the tug. And Allah help him because it was so very good to kiss Rick so, and lose himself in that sensation. One kiss did lead to several, from warm and comforting to a heated sharing of breath and hunger. And he was holding Rick as tightly as he could, wanting for the moment nothing more than to somehow make them one. He arched his back into Rick’s weight needing the feeling of solidity it gave him. “God.” Rick broke the kiss with a gasp. “Ardeth.”
“Do not stop.” He pulled Rick back into another kiss. Because otherwise there would be words and he did not want words now, only this burning hunger between them. Rick pulled away but only to suck hard at Ardeth’s throat so he did not complain, only tossed his head back into the bedding to allow Rick better access. Kisses gave way to nips of teeth and that only made him want more, shaking a bit with the pleasure that built within him. Rick’s teeth caught his ear one hand pushing his hair out of the way the other down along his hip. And he was already hard and aching from only this. Rick’s hand moved to stroke over his cock and he could feel the warmth of that touch even through his pants. He arched into it all, pressing himself against Rick’s hand and offering his throat for more kisses and nibbles at the same time. He worked his hands between them and tried his best to undo Rick’s shirt.
“Ardeth, easy, huh?” Rick gasped against his throat. And if there was one thing he was not wanting right now it was caution or to ease up on any of it. So he rolled them over and pulled the cotton out of his way so he could cover Rick’s throat and chest with kisses and licks. Rick groaned tangling his hands in Ardeth’s hair and then letting go to tug at his sash. Somehow, between them both they managed to loosen all the clothes they wore, enough so that they could both reach bare skin. Rick growled something and rolled him back over to pull his robes apart. Rick’s hands stroked down over his chest and stomach before one went to his cock again and the other to the nipple Rick was not teasing mercilessly with his tongue.
He groaned, not even trying to smother the sound and reached down to untie the laces that held his pants closed. Rick growled a little, which was an odd sensation against his skin and then slid his hand inside the now undone pants to grip Ardeth almost too tightly in his hand. Ardeth only caught his breath in a gasp and arched into the touch. Rick’s other hand went to the laces that still held his robes partially closed and he reached down to help with them some enough so that the outer robe was completely undone and then inner one held only partially closed by the inside tie. Rick chuckled and simply slid down between his legs. A moment later his cock was surrounded by the wet heat of Rick’s mouth all the way to the root and he arched into it with a cry, reaching down with both hands, tangling them as best he could in Rick’s hair. And let the passion burn hotter and hotter within him until it took him soaring into ecstacy and there was nothing but the blinding rush of release.
For a long moment it was almost like flying, like being suspended somewhere above himself, and then he floated back down, falling those last few inches into his skin with a gasp.
“Ardeth?” He was held in Rick’s arms, his head on his friend’s shoulder. Rick’s hands stroked hesitantly through his hair and down his back. And there were occasional words of English and Arabic both whispered into his hair that he could catch besides his name.
“Allah have mercy, I am still seeing stars I think.” He tried to catch his breath around the words but it was very hard to do.
“Really?” There was a chuckle to Rick’s voice. “Good, then I did it right.”
“Hmm. Yes.” He agreed, then he rolled over a bit so that Rick was once more underneath him. “Now you must tell me what you want, habib.”
“Hmm. Well, I don’t get my first choice.” Rick’s smile was teasing and there was still a bright fire to the blue eyes.
“No?” He smiled back. “And why is that?”
“I wanted to try it with me being able to see you. But...we’ll have to do that later.”
“Oh.” He flushed just a bit, and leaned down to kiss Rick, smiling a bit at the joy it was to taste his own completion on Rick’s tongue. “Later.” He promised and then licked his way down Rick’s throat. Rick groaned out what might have been his name and he smiled, working his way lower, slowly. “Shall we see what else I have learned, then?” He whispered, licking at one nipple, not pausing long before switching to the other, then he traced the one long knife scar along Rick’s ribs with his lips, feeling Rick shudder a bit with the sensation. Then he moved lower again and smiled a bit before placing a kiss just short of Rick’s cock. Then he took most of the length in his hand and slid the rest into his mouth. Rick groaned, arching into the touch and his hands tangled into Ardeth’s hair. He did his best to copy what Rick did for him, although he could not begin to understand how Rick took him so deep. But he did the best he could, and it certainly seemed enough because Rick’s hands tightened in his hair and he thrust a bit deeper into Ardeth’s mouth again. He swallowed against the sensation which only pulled Rick deeper so he did it again, then a third time, before he had to raise his head again or choke.
“You learn too quick.” Rick said, each word a separate groan.
“Hmm.” He did not stop the caress of his tongue along the hard flesh long enough to reply, only took a deep breath and tried the same thing again, taking Rick a bit deeper than before with each swallow. Rick choked out something that might have been his name and the fingers in his hair tightened almost painfully for a moment before his throat was filled with hot pulses of semen. He swallowed as best he could, trying not to choke for want of air and then gasping in a breath when the pulses stopped. He raised his head as Rick’s fingers relaxed. “Good?”
“Yeah.” The word was a gasp.
He smiled a little, feeling oddly proud at that. “It is not a hard taste to acquire a fondness for at all.”
Rick chuckled and then opened his eyes, one hand leaving Ardeth’s hair to stroke along his jaw. “No?”
“No.” He ducked his head to lick at some of what he had not swallowed.
“Ardeth.”
“You can claim your kiss, when I am done.” He looked back up at Rick and smiled. “Or two if you prefer.” And he purposefully lowered his head again and licked again.
“That’s...oh Christ.”
“Hmm, not what you had in mind?” He glanced back up, pleased to see only heat and maybe surprise to the bright blue eyes. “Three?” He repeated the move again, licking at Rick’s stomach now.
“Ardeth.”
“Yes?” He placed a kiss against the point of one hipbone. “Four now?” He glanced up, and then tried for teasing on purpose and licked his lips, before lowering his head again to kiss just inside Rick’s thigh.
“Enough huh?”
“Hmm, soon. I have a plan.” He teased. Which was not really true. But he did suddenly have an idea. So he glanced up at Rick each time he moved, before adding to the count, and then ducking his head purposefully and placing another kiss. By eight he had reached Rick’s feet and he looked back up into his friend’s eyes. Then he drew on what little he knew of the horror Rick was remembering. ‘You know that point a man gets to when he can’t even raise his head?’ and the glimpses he had allowed himself of his twin on that first visit to hell and shook out his hair so that it fell about his face before he met Rick’s eyes again. “Nine.” He smiled and then lowered his head slowly to nip lightly at the arch of one foot.
“Oh hell.” Rick muttered, and Ardeth could not tell if it was laughter or tears in his voice so he raised his head. “Now can I kiss you, habib?”
“Please.” He moved back up so he was in Rick’s arms and let himself be kissed repeatedly.
“That was not fair.” Rick pointed out after the last kiss.
“Perhaps not, no. But if it gives you something fond to recall instead of horror, habib I will admit to cheating.” He smiled and reached up to trace Rick’s jaw. “Only do not let the other Medjai know, hmm? Adham would hate having to be chieftain.”
Rick chuckled, and there was no real darkness to his eyes. “Right.” He leaned down and kissed Ardeth again. “You’ve gotten so good at that.”
“Kissing?” He smiled a bit more. “It is very easy to learn to do something that brings me such joy and pleasure habib.” He replied, meeting the bright blue eyes, and he tried his best to let what he was feeling fill his gaze. “You have taught me joy, Rick. And shown me more pleasure than I knew anything could hold.”
He had expected one of several reactions but not the flush that colored Rick’s cheeks enough for him to tell in the mostly shadow filled room. “Ardeth.”
“It is the middle of the night and we are in my bed, sated and happy, habib, why then can I not say things like that?”
“Crazy, idiotic, stubborn, arab.” Rick sighed, but he leaned down and kissed Ardeth lightly. “You– make me feel so damned good, Ardeth.”
“And you I, Rick. And you I.” He pulled Rick down again to kiss him, enjoying the last lingering taste of each other’s completion. They took a few moments to completely rid themselves of clothing and push the whole of it onto the floor. Rick smiled at him and then pulled him into another kiss as they snuggled back into each other’s arms.
“Hmm. Think we should clean up?”
“No.” He smiled. “I think we should do something that requires us to clean up and then worry about it.”
“Oh you do?” Rick teased. “Think we’re up to that, habibi?”
“We shall see if this is truly a version of Paradise or not.” He ran his hands up Rick’s spine. “We will need some oil, yes? If I am going to grant you your wish?”
Rick smiled and then rolled away to reach for the basket and jug sitting beside the bed. “We have got to thank Tahiri and Nefshen too. Well, I’ll think of something to thank Tahiri with. You can thank Nefshen.”
He rolled his eyes. “I would rather have you in my bed, habibi, at any time than her. She is beautiful, yes, and kind, and I am as human as any man and she rouses me a great deal with her teasing, but you, habibi, you give me wings.”
Rick muttered something Ardeth could not catch and then kissed him, soft and deep. “I don’t have the words, Ardeth. But it’s the same for me you know?” The words were followed by another kiss. “Your turn to let me feel that, huh?”
“Hmm, if you wish.” He nodded. “Although you do know I would love to have you inside me again.”
Rick sighed and then took the jug of oil and opened it. “You’re ahead of me too much already, habibi.”
“We are keeping score now? Did you not tell me this was about love and not about keeping a score card?”
“Yeah.” That made Rick smile again. He poured some of the oil onto his hands and then put the stopper back into the jug and tucked it into the basket. “Still warm too.”
“That is good.” Ardeth agreed and then closed his eyes as Rick began to rub the oil into his skin, working out from the base of his throat along his collar bones. And Allah but he had not realized he was so tense until Rick started and he could only bite back the groan the caress invoked.
Rick muttered something else Ardeth did not follow. “Christ, Ardeth you’re knots. Talk about carrying camels when I’m not looking. What’s got you so tensed up?”
He closed his eyes tighter at that and took a deep breath. “Sometimes, the title weighs more than any burden.” He said quietly when he could trust his voice. “How many more of my people will I lose to death during this war, Rick? We are already so much fewer than we were.”
“I don’t know, Ardeth. I wish I could tell you. But you don’t have to carry it right now, Ardeth. Relax, let me help?”
“I...” He shook his head a bit. “I do not know that I deserve to be comforted, Rick.”
“Like hell you don’t.” The words held no anger though, despite the profanity and Rick’s hands only continued to work at his muscles. “Roll over, Ardeth, I’ll do this right.”
He started to argue and then did so. And Allah had to know it felt so good to let his friend’s strong hands work the tension from him that not even their lovemaking had done. Rick’s hands were not gentle per say because the knots in his muscles would not give to simple caresses but it still amazed him a little that a man as strong as Rick was could at the same time be gentle. Thank you most merciful Allah, for the joy of having this man as my friend, my brother, my shield-mate, and my lover. I do not understand your will or your plan, most companionate, but I am so very thankful for having him in my life.
“Stop that. Every time I get you to relax you tense up again. What’s wrong, Ardeth?”
He sighed. “Nothing that can be helped, Rick. Only tension and worry.” And perhaps it was better to ache just a bit in memory of all the people he had lost, even when he was thankful that he had not lost more. He recalled all too well what the remains of his tribe had looked like in the hell Anubis had created for him. Allah please, do not let my people pay the price of whatever tenid must be borne for this battle. I know we have not kept our vows as well as we should. I myself have allowed the creature we were sworn to keep in his grave to walk the world three times now. And this time even as our ally. But I do not know how else to achieve victory for Egypt, oh my God. If that is wrong and I have blasphemed or dishonored your faith in us somehow, please, let me bear that burden and not my people? Truly they are the most wonderful tribes any man could be blessed to lead. Do not let me lead them astray, most compassionate. Please?
“Talk to me, Ardeth.” Rick said gently. “What hurts?”
“I am– angry at myself I think. I know these battles are necessary. I know we must protect Egypt and keep the secrets of Ahm Shere away from our enemies. But-- it does not seem that anything I can think of will help my tribesmates to survive, Rick. What right do I have to use such gifts as the old gods have given me, when I expect my people to follow with only their courage and faith?”
“You use the weapons you have to take out the enemies they can’t, Ardeth. And to get them free when they’re captured. Think about it, huh? If you hadn’t had the shield of Horus Arebe, Kahid, Jurji, and all the guys today would be dead or at least prisoners, right? And what about Sana and the other survivors of Ahmer’s tribe you saved, huh? You couldn’t have done that without that shield.” Rick’s hands stroked over his back again. “You’ve got the best men I’ve ever known to lead, Ardeth., trust them to be as willing to fight as you are, okay?”
“All Medjai know we are likely to die in battle, Rick. It is part of our lives every day. But this...? The Tuareg are fierce enemies and we face them often. The Asenussi are truly horrible foes, but they at least keep their atrocities to the men who face them in battle. I have lost an entire tribe to these Nazis. Men, women and children. And not even the Asenussi have ever tortured their captives the way Arebe and Kahid were. I– know it is what must be done and borne, Rick but– Allah has to know it makes my heart ache.”
“The worst part of a war is the civilians that get hurt. I remember all the people who got hurt in the Great War, Ardeth. Don’t you? What happened to Ahmer’s tribe was a tragedy, God knows that. But it wasn’t your fault, huh? And as for Arebe and Kahid. They’re the bravest men I know, Ardeth. But they’re soldiers. You don’t expect to be treated well when your captured by the enemy. I’ve been a soldier before, remember?”
He shuddered again at that. “Do not say that.”
“Say what?”
He started to sit up but Rick pushed him back to the mattress and simply began to work at his shoulders again. “Rick.”
“Talk to me.”
He sighed. “I do not want to talk.”
“No?” A gentle squeeze of one hand on his shoulder. “What about that hurt, Ardeth”
“I-- do not think I would-- be...If they had captured you as they did Arebe and Kahid.” He shuddered again., closing his eyes tight against that horrible idea. But it did not stop him from being able to picture that horror all too easily. He shuddered, forcing down a deep breath against the bile that wanted to rise at the back of his throat. Recalling all too clearly how Rick’s reflection in hell had felt in his arms. And how still his friend had been upon the bloody sand the second time they faced Lok-Nah in that horrible place. “I do not think...I could find the courage you seem to think I have, Rick, if it were not for having you beside me.”
“You’re stronger than you think you are, Ardeth. But, if it helps to have me around. Then you’re stuck with me, okay? Relax now, we’re both here and safe, huh? Didn’t happen. I’m fine. You’re fine.” The bedding shifted and Rick moved his hair away from the nape of his neck to place a kiss there. “It’s over and done now. Let it go.”
He shivered again. “I– do not know how to do so. How to keep the horror from my eyes when I close them. Can you grant me that, Rick? To make me forget?”
“I can sure try, habib.” Another kiss and then Rick began to stroke along his back and sides, not massaging now but caressing, even as he continued to place kisses and soft nips of his teeth along Ardeth’s nape and then down his throat.
“It feels so good when you touch me so.” He sighed, relaxing a bit into the feel.
“Good.” Rick whispered then blew a cool stream of air over his skin. Ardeth could not help but shiver. This time when Rick kissed him he could feel the smile against his skin. Rick moved down a bit to outline one of his tattoos with his tongue and then nip at the curve of his shoulder blade underneath. And it was growing easier and easier too lose himself in the sensations and let go of the tension. “That’s it.” Rick pulled him onto his side and he went so that Rick’s hands could play over his chest while he continued to outline Ardeth’s spine with kisses. And perhaps this truly was a reflection of Paradise because he felt himself beginning to harden again, and shifted to ease the pressure. “Hmm, I’m doing something right, huh?” Rick whispered, his hand moving down to stroke once lightly over Ardeth’s growing arousal.
“You are, yes. Mmm, do not stop?”
“Okay.” Rick chuckled and then pulled Ardeth onto his back, to stroke both hands down his chest and then leaned down to kiss him. Ardeth wrapped his arms tightly around Rick. Relishing the feel of his friend whole and well, alive and warm in his arms. He gave himself to that kiss, trying to put all he was feeling at the moment into it as he pulled Rick close. “Easy, Ardeth, relax hmm? Let’s do this slower, huh?”
“I do not want slow, habib. I want to drown in it, Rick. In your touch and your kisses. Please habibi? I know I said I would make love to you, but-- I need to be whole, muHabb, please?”
Rick sighed but kissed him again. “Then we go slow.”
“Allah’s mercy, Rick, I do not need to be coddled.” He had not meant to say it aloud.
“Tough. I am not rushing making love to you.”
“I do not want to rush, I want to relish it.” He disagreed, stroking his hands down Rick’s back in turn.
“Okay then.” Rick smiled a little. “So let me seduce you, huh?”
“You do not need to seduce me. I am already yours.” He pointed out, moving to lick at Rick’s throat. “Make love to me, Rick.” He reached down and stroked Rick’s cock firmly.
“You are going to drive me nuts.”
“That is good, as you do the same to me.” He managed a bit of a smile. “Oil habib?” He found the jug and poured some onto his own hands and then reached out to smooth it over Rick’s cock.
“Oh Christ, wait a minute, Ardeth.”
“I do not want to wait.” He brought Rick’s hand to his lips and then poured more oil onto his fingers. “Yes?”
“Crazy, stubborn, idiotic, Arab.”
“If that it what it takes to have you inside me, Yes.” He agreed. “Touch me, hmm?”
“And pushy too. Roll over?” Rick grumbled.
“I want to see you.”
“Ardeth.”
He rolled his eyes. “I have more experience at being loved like this than you do now. I liked seeing you, Rick.”
“I don’t...”
“Allah’s mercy, Rick, you will not hurt me. I swear it.”
“You don’t know that. I could...”
He growled out a curse in Medja and then took Rick’s shoulders in his hands and it was an awkward angle at best to shake his friend from but he did it. “You could not. Stop confusing what we do with what those animals did to your friend.” He knew he should have more patience but he could not find enough balance within himself to manage it. Did they not have enough fears and enemies to face here and now without letting the old ones cause them just as much heartache?
“This isn’t about Rolande. I could hurt you.”
“If you set your mind to it. Probably, yes. But that is not...”
“It’s not that simple...I could...Christ, you don’t know what that’s like.”
And that brought the growing annoyance that had almost become anger to a sudden halt. “No, habib, I do not.” He agreed softly, because no doubt Rick was telling the truth and he had no idea of that horror. But he was suddenly horribly certain that Rick did. And that on top of the loss the day had already held, the terrible images his mind wanted to create of Rick broken and bleeding as his tribesmates had been, and all the lingering shattered images of what they had both endured in hell the day before was more than Ardeth could stomach. He only pulled Rick tight against him and held on, feeling himself shake. “Allah have mercy.”
“Hey, it’s all right, easy huh? You okay Ardeth?”
Ardeth started to nod and then shook his head, but met the worried blue eyes as Rick pushed away enough to look at him. He reached up and traced Rick’s jaw gently. “But you do, yes?”
“What?” Rick only stared down at him, the confusion obvious.
“I have no idea what it is like to be hurt so, when another man does not care if I am hurt by it. But you do, yes?” He asked but he did not doubt the answer to the question. Allah have mercy, Rick, why did you not tell me? “Rick, habib...”
“They didn’t rape me.”
“No?” He thought for a moment and then asked a different question. “Then who did?”
Rick only stared at him and then muttered something unintelligible and started to get up. Ardeth moved quickly, using a trick more acceptable in fighting than in bed with his lover and knocked Rick’s supporting arm out from under him and rolled them over so that he was on top of his friend and Rick was beneath him.
“Do not run from this now, Rick. Talk to me.” He repeated what Rick had said earlier to him. “I have told you of my fear tonight. Tell me yours, habibi, whisper it to the shadows if you can not say it to me directly. But tell it. Do not let it hurt us both any more, hmm?”
“You don’t understand.” Rick shook his head. “Damn it Ardeth.”
“I can not understand unless you tell me what is wrong.” He pointed out. “Please habib?” He made it as gentle a question as he knew how.
“It’s..not...You think I’d’ve let you love me, Ardeth if I’d been raped like that?”
“I do not know, Rick. Likely you are brave enough to risk it, yes.” It was all he knew to say.
Rick gave a groaned sort of sigh. “I’m not afraid of it hurting me, Ardeth.”
“No. No you are not.” He agreed softly. “Only of it hurting me.” He reached down and put his hand over Rick’s heart. “Then tell me why you fear that so, if it is not because of what happened to Rolande.”
Rick moved a bit, rolling onto his side and Ardeth gave him that. Settling behind him and pulling him close as Rick had done for him more than once. “I could hurt you.”
“Perhaps.” He agreed softly, because the fear in Rick’s voice was very real. “But I do not think you would do so. Any more than I would harm you. There is too much love between us, hmm?” He tightened his arms. “Talk to me, Rick, please habib? Allow me to help you as you do for me so often here.”
“When Rolande was killed by those bastards– it was the most horrible thing I’d ever seen, Ardeth. But– it isn’t what happened to Rolande exactly that’s what scares me so bad.”
“No?” He stroked one hand down Rick’s arm. “Why are you so afraid of causing me pain Rick?”
Rick gave a soft sort of groan that was more like a sob than Ardeth could bear and then rolled over and into his arms. “I– God Ardeth I don’t know. I love making love with you. It’s so good I think I’m going to just shatter sometimes. It’s just...My head knows I’m not going to hurt you like that but...” Rick laid his head on Ardeth’s shoulder. “You...remember when you came to hell after me?”
“Yes.” He nodded a bit, stroking his hands down Rick’s back.
“And...that monster thing had you in his arms?”
He sighed. “When he looked like you instead of Imhotep? Yes.”
“Wasn’t the first time he’d done that.”
Ardeth closed his eyes tight at that. ‘Sometimes it would be you and then he would be others if he thought that would hurt more.’ He still recalled the words his twin had said to Ammun’s high priest as he had struggled for those last few moments in Rick’s arms. He stroked his hand gently through Rick’s hair and down his back. “It is not real, Rick. That was not real. Neither what happened to the man who was my reflection nor the creature that looked like you. None of it, habib.” He said it as much to himself as to Rick, because he could still recall his own version of hell all too clearly. How much worse then for Rick, who has relived the horror so many times and to have seen such a horrible twisted reflection of the joy they shared. He held Rick tighter for a moment. “You are no such monster, Rick. My word to Allah, habib, I have never known anything but joy and pleasure beyond my most fanciful dream in your arms.”
“I know I’m not– going to hurt you, Ardeth. Or maybe my mind does but my heart’s just...not believing it or something. The fear’s just there, Ardeth. Like this...I don’t know, maze I have to work through you know? And it’s just hard sometimes.”
“Yes, it is.” He agreed, trying to think of something, some way for them both to overcome this. To heal from the horrors that had so colored their lives of late. “Perhaps if-- we were to walk this labyrinth together, Rick, we can see it done.” He offered and pulled Rick into as gentle a kiss as he knew how to give.
“You think we can?” Rick asked softly.
“I think we can try certainly. Allah must know we have the stubbornness for it, hmm? Will you seduce me, habibi, and let me seduce you? The we shall see us both whole and well on the other side.”
“You sound so sure.” Rick traced his jaw with fingers that were not nearly as steady as Rick probably wished they were.
He smiled just a little, putting all the love he could into his eyes. “Very little in this world that is worth doing is easy, habibi. And there is no one I would trust more beside me any conflict even one that is against memories and ghosts and not warriors or cursed things. We will do this together Rick. If you will trust me as I trust you.”
“I...want to yeah. I mean work this out. Trusting you comes easier than breathing, Ardeth.”
“Does it?” He smiled a bit more, still sad. “Then we shall do this.” He tightened his arms. “Let me think a bit on how to achieve it hmm?”
“You’re serious about thinking we can do this?” Rick laid back down beside him.
“I am.” And he recalled suddenly standing in Horus’ shrine here in Thebes when he had gone to ask the Bright god of Vengeance for a way to keep Rick safe from Anubis. ‘See him and thyself whole, Ardeth. For all Egypt needs you both. Do not be discouraged in your support but know that he is far more afraid for thee bight one than for any harm my brother would cause him. Make him then give the fear a voice in the light of day so that it may be seen for only the play of shadows upon the wall that it is.’ The god had said. Which was more or less what he meant to do now. Although it was not the light of day. But perhaps the soft firelit darkness would serve as well and they could both relegate the horrors of memory and imagination and hell to only shadows. They had tried speaking of the horrors they had seen and the old fears that still haunted them both, and while it had helped certainly it was not enough for now. Fear rides faster than any horseman, Ardeth. And it is our greatest foe. You must treat it like an enemy and face it in combat. Otherwise it will win with stealth and sneak up upon you and cause you more harm He suddenly recalled his father’s words from the first time he was getting ready for battle after his capture and Adham’s rescue. He had gone to battle and come home well and victorious, but he had never done as his father suggested and really faced his fear. Perhaps his father had been right after all. “All right, I have the beginnings of a plan. But I am trying to decided the best way to do this. For that I must know two things from you, habibi.”
Rick sighed. “Only two?”
“I think so yes. When– Rolande was killed...you said the men had beaten you both and that you were being held on your knees. How did they hold Rolande?”
Rick shuddered a bit in his arms. “Ardeth...”
“Trust me, habibi, answer the question.” He responded with as much support as he could not wanting Rick to think he was annoyed.
“On his hands and knees...mostly. A couple of times I guess he was just lying on the ground.” Rick sighed.
That took him a moment to visualize but then he did. “Which tells me why you would not answer my question about what Nefshen said.” He stroked his hands down Rick’s back again. “And in the hell Anubis created was there ever a time my reflection was not hanging from his wrists?”
“No.” Rick’s arms tightened around him as well.
“Then we can do this. We will win free of the ghosts that haunt us, habib.”
“I’ll try, Ardeth. But you have to tell me two things too, okay?”
“All right.” That seemed fair enough.
“When we were in hell...and that bastard kept cutting you with his knife...Everything I’ve seen in hell has been sorta like something I’ve seen in life, Ardeth. You in Rolande’s place and stuff like that. So, that happen for real at some point?”
Ardeth sighed. “Not to me, no. Thanks be to Allah. But yes-- sometimes after a battle with the Asenussi...we would find our captured tribesmates a few days later. Tortured so...their bodies left for us to find.” He swallowed hard. “I found my father so.”
“Damn it, Ardeth.” Rick’s arms tightened around him as well. “Christ, I thought my trips through hell were bad.”
Ardeth only nodded a little and let them both take comfort from the embrace. “You wished to ask me two questions.” He reminded Rick finally, because they were going to see this through, somehow, as Allah gave them strength and courage.
Rick sighed. “Yeah, I was. Okay then, tell me why it is you hated it so much when I was teasing you in the baths the other day.”
He sighed himself. “About being treasure?” He asked softly.
“Yeah.”
“You mentioned that captives were often more of the treasure taken in battle than gold, do you recall that?”
“Sorta, yeah.” Rick propped himself up on one arm. “It’s true right?”
“Yes.” He took a deep breath. “I will be no man’s slave, Rick.”
“Okay, I’ll buy that. But I was only teasing, Ardeth. And you weren’t. Why does that hurt you, huh?”
He drew another breath to give himself a moment to put it into words and then just said it, baldly without pretense or politeness. “The Califs of Baghdad and Damascus and Istanbul used to, and probably still do, damn them to hell, pay high price indeed for any Medjai taken as captive young enough to be broken to their wills.” He shuddered. “I was fifteen when the men we were fighting thought I would make a good– acquisition to sell.”
“Oh Christ.” Rick pulled him close again. “They hurt you?”
“Beat me a bit, starved me for the days they had me and gave me little enough water to keep me alive. But that was all, they wanted me-- well when they sold me you see.” He almost smiled. “I was too naive to know they meant to do more than make sport of my death or some such. Which I suppose was a blessing. I angered one of them because he had nearly killed another of my tribesmates who was also captured and he began to hit me. He broke my arm and had me face down in the sand and I was too weak to fight by then. All I recall is thinking how saddened my father would be that he had lost both sons and how I had failed my tribes. Then the man said if he could not sell me to the Turks he would enjoy this. I thought he meant to kill me.” He shrugged a bit. “Then he kicked my legs apart and reached for my robes and then Adham, praise be to God, came out of the darkness with about five others who had been tracking us against my father’s orders I might add, and so we were saved. But it cost Adham his eye for the battle.”
“Bastards.” Rick only held him a bit tighter.
“Likely.” He agreed. “It was not so bad as it could have been, except for Adham’s loss, and my friend who did not survive the journey back to our people. My arm healed well enough.” He shrugged a little. “But I am– unwilling still to be cooperative when there is any option. I think that is why it is so hard for me to deal with Ammun’s priest you know. The kisses are not so bad, truly, but the complacency I must find to bear them makes me ill.”
“I don’t think I could be as brave as you are.” Rick sighed.
“You could, you are. I do not doubt that in the slightest.” He pushed away enough to meet Rick’s eyes again. “So, muHabb will you trust me now to rid us of our ghosts that linger in the shadows so that we may relish this pleasure and love between us instead?”
“You really think you can do that?”
“It works most times for other types of wounds and fears yes. So we will do it for us and see if it does. And if it does not then we are no worse than we are now, hmm?”
Rick sighed. “We’re going to stir it up on purpose?”
“Yes.” Ardeth nodded a bit. “We are. Come help me a bit, I think everything we will need is here though.”
“Right.” Rick did not sound the least bit convinced. “This is nuts.”
“Perhaps.” He agreed. All he truly needed for this was Rick’s cooperation and the oil they already had by the bed. But a few more additions would make it both easier and likely more effective. He rolled out of bed and went over to where there was a jug of water and a bowl on the chest against the wall. “Can this sit beside the bed?” He handed Rick the jug of water.
“Sure.” Rick shrugged and set it down. “What’s that for?”
“Me.” He smiled a bit, almost bitterly. “I will show you what I mean. Now, I can do with only my robes I think. But you might wish to dress. Although I think perhaps it is not necessary.”
“Do you have any real idea of what you’re doing, Ardeth?”
“Adjusting a strategy that has worked repeatedly in one situation to work in a different one.” He said and then caught Rick in a quick kiss. “We shall do this together, Rick, and it will be well. I promise you.”
“You sure?”
“In’sh’Allah.” He answered. Rick rolled his eyes but did not argue again.
“So, what else do we need besides a jug of water?”
“Oil, which we have. The bed which we have. My sash will do, and any of my knives or yours.”
“Knives?” Rick asked sharply.
“If we are riding ourselves of all the ghosts, yes. That one is mine though, so you will have to trust me on it.”
“I don’t like that.”
“No, nor do I. But it will be well. Now do you wish to dress or not?” He picked up his robes from the floor leaving his pants where they lay. He slipped the robes on only bothering with the outer ties on both anyway which he would need to replace when this was done no doubt.
Rick muttered a curse that was not in English or Arabic and pulled on his pants. “Crazy, idiotic, stubborn Arab.”
“Crazy? No not at the moment. Idiotic? Sometimes, yes, I suppose. Stubborn? Always you know that habib. And I am Egyptian not Arab.” He replied with a smile.
That got a small smile from Rick as well. “Fine. Now what?”
“Kiss me?” He asked, moving over to stand beside the bedpost.
“That’s supposed to help us kick a few ghosts into hell?”
“It is.” He agreed. Rick sighed but came to stand in front of him and he slid his arms around Rick and pulled him into a long slow kiss, letting it build slowly and remind both of them of all the passion they shared. He licked lightly at Rick’s lips as he pulled back to run his fingers through Rick’s short hair. “You give me wings, habib.”
“I thought you didn’t like flying.” Rick smiled.
“Flying is wonderful it is the landings I have learned to be wary of.” He pointed out. “Both times you have gotten me off the ground we have crashed.”
“You’ve flown to England. And we flew from Hamanaptura to Aswan and then to Ahm Shere this time.”
“Hmm, so I must only not fly with you when we are trying to stop Ammun’s priest from conquering the world?” He chuckled and then kissed Rick again.
“Oh, that’ll work.” Rick muttered but he kissed Ardeth back slow and deep. “You’re good at that.”
“I enjoy it.” He replied, and then did it again as he raised one arm up over his head and slid his sash through the ring holding the linen netting about the bed. Leaving it there for the moment he simply let himself enjoy the kiss.
“What’s that for?” Rick asked softly, as he broke the kiss to nibble instead at Ardeth’s throat.
“Hmm? My sash?” He leaned his head back a bit. “Why does that rouse me so?”
“Because it feels good.” Rick replied. “What’s it for?”
He smiled. “Did we get one of my knives? Then I will show you.”
“I put it on the table.” Rick sighed.
“Could you get it for me then, hmm?” He met the blue eyes calmly. “Please, habib? Set me free?”
“Like I’m going to be able to say no to that?” Rick rolled his eyes a bit. “You’re cheating again.”
“Hmm, likely I will be forgiven if I am fortunate.” He smiled. “My knife, habib?”
“Right.” Rick kissed him again and then went over to get it. Ardeth watched him and leaned back against the bedpost. It would do better if it were a few inches taller than it was but it would do. He was trying to evoke an image not match it completely. Rick walked back to him and set the dagger down on the mattress beside him. “Now what?”
“We start this in earnest. Look at me, muHabb.” He asked softly. “We shall start with one of your fears and one of mine, all right?”
“If you think it’ll work, yeah, Ardeth, I’ll try.” Rick nodded.
“Good.” He smiled. “Kiss me?”
“That’s not anything either of us fear.” Rick pointed out.
“True. That is a joy so that the fear is not so bad.” He put in. “Then put your hands in my hair, hmm?”
Rick looked at him for a long moment and then pulled him close to kiss him fully, slowly teasing his tongue with his own, until it was a playful duel of sorts. And his hands buried themselves in Ardeth’s hair. Which gave the sense at least that Rick was far more in control of this kiss than he was. He took as deep a breath as he could manage around the kiss and then gave the duel over. Rick took the invitation for what it was and deepened the kiss a bit more. Ardeth reached up over his head and took hold of his sash, twisting it about his wrists as he did so. Rick broke the kiss with a mutter that might have been a curse. “No fair.”
“Likely it is not, no.” He agreed. “But then what fear is? Look at me, habib. Please?” He asked softly. Rick met his eyes for a moment, and there was too much in the dark blue for Ardeth to read. “Rick.”
Rick sighed and then glanced back. “What?”
“Look at me. Let us see this done.” He found a smile. “Kiss me, please?”
“I...don’t know that I can.”
“You can. I would like very much if you did.” He promised, trying to put the desire into his eyes and voice. Rick looked at him for a moment longer and then did so, but it was a hesitant kiss this time. Ardeth did his best to deepen it slowly, leaning forward when Rick would start to pull back, and finally thanks be to Allah Rick relaxed enough to put one arm around him and kiss him fully. “You could seduce me now.” He whispered as he broke the kiss finally.
“Now?” Rick shook his head. “I can barely just stand here without wanting to scream, Ardeth.”
“Why?” He asked gently. “I am not in pain, in fact I am rather enjoying having you kiss me, habib.”
“I don’t-- like seeing you like this.”
“No, no doubt you do not. But as long as you are seeing me and not your memories of my reflection then where is the fear?” He let go of his sash with one hand to pull Rick into another kiss and then leaned his head back to one side of the post. Rick took the invitation and licked lightly at his throat. Ardeth reached back up to twine his sash around his wrist and hold on again.
“You really want me to seduce you while you’re standing there like that?”
“That is part of what I want. Yes.” Ardeth agreed, shivering a bit as the question sent slight puffs of air over his skin as Rick spoke. “But I will not press you for it if you can not do so.”
“Who’s the one who’s supposed to be tied up here?”
Ardeth smiled. “I suppose I am. If we were both bound so then where would the enjoyment be?”
“Let’s find out.” Rick pressed him back against the post and took hold of the loose ends of his sash to wrap around his wrists much as Ardeth had done and then gripped his hands where they were clenched around the fabric. Then he kissed Ardeth again long and deep and full of joy. Ardeth gave the kiss everything he could groaning out a complaint as Rick finally broke the kiss with a sigh. “Good?”
“Any better habibi and you will have me embarrass myself.”
“Really?” Rick smiled back and it took a bit of the darkness from his eyes. “How am I supposed to seduce you if you’re dressed, Ardeth?”
“Undress me of course.” He replied. Rick sighed but reached for the laces on his robes. “I tangled the knots.” He admitted softly.
“What? Why?” Rick looked at him again.
“So that you would have to cut them.” He was surprised his voice sounded so calm.
“No.” Rick shook his head.
“Please?” It was all he could find in him to ask. “Give me something to think of besides how the blade felt as it dug into my skin, habib?”
“Oh God.” Rick pulled him into a gentle embrace and he leaned his head forward to rest it on his friend’s shoulder. “Ardeth.”
“Cut them?” He requested again.
Rick groaned out a low curse and picked up the knife. Ardeth only watched him, closing his eyes at the last moment and swallowing hard. “You scared?” Rick asked softly.
“Of you no. Of the blade? Yes.” He admitted. “Please?”
Rick sighed but one hand went to the lacing on his outer robe and Ardeth could not help but glance down as the cording was cut freeing the robe to hang from his shoulders. “You sure about this, Ardeth?”
He nodded, but it was a real struggle not to flinch away as Rick did the second set of ties and the blade came much closer to his skin. Rick finished the task quickly and then tossed the dagger back onto the mattress. “Okay?”
“I think so.” He answered and it was enough for now. “Touch me, habib?”
“Yeah, habibi. Promise me you’ll tell me to stop if...”
“No.” He shook his head. “You will have to trust me that I will do so without my oath again, and I will trust that you will stop if I ask it. You have never once in the twelve plus years I have known you Rick lacked for courage. Now come here and kiss me and let Anubis’ entertain himself in hell.”
Rick blinked and then to Ardeth’s surprise smiled a little. “You’re even pushy when you’re supposed to be helpless.”
“I make a bad hostage, yes. There is no surprise to that, habib. I hate being helpless. This is not so easy for me either you know.” He pointed out.
“No. No I guess it isn’t.” Rick nodded and then stroked his hands softly down Ardeth’s arms. “You can let go.”
“Then the memories win and I am too stubborn for that.”
“Right.” Rick agreed. “Changing your mind is about as easy as stopping the Nile.”
“Hmm, you have convinced me I like to be kissed, caressed and loved by another man, that having you inside me can be more joy than I can hold and that being inside you will not damn me for eternity. I think you can convince me that a bit of helplessness is something I can find pleasure in too.”
“You think so, huh?” Rick smiled just a bit. “What if I can’t?”
“Then I will let go and we will try something else.” He smiled back.
“Right.” Rick kissed him softly and then moved to nibble at his ear and down his neck.
Ardeth gave him what encouragement he could with only his voice and reactions but it seemed enough because Rick slowly worked his way down Ardeth’s throat to trace one collarbone with kisses, brushing the fabric of his robe out of the way. Then he followed the scars that ran along his shoulder down until he only had to move his head a bit to reach one nipple. Ardeth hissed in a breath and leaned his head back, gripping the material in his hands tighter to keep from reaching down and caressing Rick as he wished to.
“Good?”
“Oh yes.” He managed. Rick made a slight sound of agreement and then went back to rousing Ardeth further. “Please?”
“What do you want, habib? Anything you ask for.”
“More?”
“Always.”Rick whispered and then moved to the other side. Ardeth groaned out his name and arched into the touch. “Sounds nice.”
“What?”
“When your voice catches on my name like that.” Rick moved back up to kiss him slowly and Ardeth found himself licking hungrily at Rick’s lips wanting Rick’s tongue to caress his and being denied it for far too long. Finally there was a soft touch of rough velvet before Rick pulled away.
“Rick?”
“Just like that, yeah.” Rick smiled. “Sounds real good.”
“Does it?” He sighed. “More?”
“Yeah.” Rick agreed and then stroked his hands over Ardeth’s chest and down to his stomach and then lightly once over his cock which was beginning to grow hard again. He arched into the touch with a sigh. “Can you let go long enough for me to get these off of you, habibi?” Rick’s hands were under his robes pushing them as far up his arms as they would go.
“I suppose.” He let go of the sash with one hand and let Rick help him get the sleeves off. Then the other, before he brought them back over his head.
“Better than it was the first time you did that.”
“Is it? I had hoped it would work that way, yes.” He smiled. “Less fear?”
“Yeah. Still makes me jumpy but it isn’t panic.”
“Good.” He licked his lips. “Can you do something for me then?”
“Sure. Anything you want, Ardeth just ask, huh?”
“Anything?” He smiled a bit.
“Well, within reason.”
“I am thirsty.” He said quietly, which was not what he had wanted to say, but he could not bring himself to ask for a drink.
“Thirsty, huh? Is that what the water’s for?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
“You’re tense again, habib.”
He nodded again. “Old fears are still fears are they not?”
“Yeah, Ardeth, they are.” Rick’s voice was gentle now. “Water?”
He nodded, suddenly desperately thirsty which he knew was foolish but he could not help it either. Rick picked the jug up and then went to the table and poured him a goblet full bringing it back over. “You want me to hold it for you?”
He swallowed hard, clenching his hands into the fabric.
“Tell me, habib. Let me help you like you are me, Ardeth.”
“Medjai do not beg.” He whispered softly.
“No they don’t.” Rick agreed with a sigh and then held the goblet to his lips and Allah help him but he swallowed it all as if he was truly parched. “Did they make you beg, habib?”
“They tried.” He could not keep the roughness from his voice.
“Stubborn.” Rick smiled and then leaned over and kissed him. “Can I try my hand at this getting rid of ghosts thing?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
Rick went back to the table and brought the jug back. “Watch me okay?”
Ardeth nodded and then shivered despite himself as Rick poured the water into the goblet.
“Thirsty?”
He nodded, his mind wanting to turn the soft question into a taunt.
“Can you ask me for it, habib?”
“No.”
“No?” Rick took a swallow of the water and Ardeth had to truly fight down the urge to lunge forward. “You could let go and pour your own.”
“That would-- not be a help here, would it?” But it was so tempting to do. To simply let go of his sash and not worry about this. But he was determined now to see this done. And if he expected Rick to face his fears the least he could do is face old ones of his own.
“No, probably not okay, here then.” Rick took another sip and then kissed him, letting the water into his mouth in small drops. He swallowed it thirstily, then let his tongue search Rick’s mouth for more as the kiss slowly deepened. “Now try it.”
“I am-- thirsty habib. Could you...I would....” He swallowed hard.
“Better?”
“No. Yes. I am not certain.”
“Okay.” Rick only took another drink and then repeated the kiss.
“More?” That he could ask for as Rick finally pulled away.
“Kisses or water?” Rick asked.
“Both.” He managed. “Kisses and– water, habibi?”
“Anything you ask for.” Rick took another drink of the water and repeated the kiss. “Better?”
“Yes.” He nodded a little. “I...I am...thirsty, habib.”
Rick reached over and gently traced his jaw. “Anything you ask for Ardeth.” He repeated.
“I-- is it not begging to ask?”
“No, it’s not. I won’t even expect you to say please, huh? What are you afraid of, Ardeth?”
He swallowed again. “They would...hold the water just...out of reach and...tell us we had to...beg. Allah, I was so thirsty and they would...just drip it onto the sand in front of my eyes.” He had not expected that old a memory to hurt so much. “My honor was all I had left. I would not beg. Not for mercy, not for water, not even for my life.”
Rick sighed. “I’m not asking you to beg, Ardeth. I’ll help you kill any man who does, habib. What’s really to be scared of in asking me for a glass of water, huh?”
Ardeth swallowed again and then met Rick’s eyes. “I am thirsty, habib, may I have a drink of water?” He blinked a bit when the words came out without a pause.
“Sure, Ardeth.” Rick held the goblet to his lips and he took a long swallow. “More?”
“Another kiss?” He asked softly.
“With pleasure.” Rick finished the water in the goblet and then kissed him. Ardeth swallowed the water Rick gave him and then relaxed into the kiss with a sigh and simply enjoyed it. “Better?”
He nodded a little. “Yes.” And it truly was. “That is not easy is it?”
“No.” Rick reached over and traced his jaw with gentle fingers. “You are so damned brave.”
“Hmm. I did not feel very brave a moment ago.” Ardeth admitted. “Likely I was shaking.”
“So? You think I’m not scared out of my wits just seeing you like this.”
“Are you?” He found a smile. “I am not hurt.”
“No. I know that.” Rick’s hands stroked down his arms to his chest. “No blood is good.”
“I would hope so. Shall we try some more then?”
“More?” Rick sighed. “Do we have to?”
“No, of course not. But I think it will do us both good if we do.”
“Is there something else I can help you with?” Rick asked gently.
“There is, but I-- am not ready for that yet, please?”
“Okay.” Rick traced his jaw again and then kissed him lightly. “So let’s see if I can just face up to this like you did, huh?”
“That was different.” He did not want Rick to feel obligated to do any of this.
“Shhh.” Rick ran his fingers back through Ardeth’s hair and then tugged it forward. Obligingly Ardeth shook his head so that the waves tumbled a bit more into his face. Rick took a deep breath and then slowly began to comb his fingers through the mess. “When the German hit you with the riffle butt it was about here right?” One finger traced a line along the back of his skull.
“I think so yes.” He nodded a little.
“Hurt a lot?”
“I was knocked senseless rather quickly actually. It did not hurt until I came to.”
“There was so much blood in your hair it was wet.” Rick said softly.
“Was it?” He did not know for certain if that had been on the battlefield or in hell but he let it go for now. “It is not wet now.”
“No, it’s not.” Rick agreed, combing his fingers through it again. “Okay. Look down, huh?”
Ardeth met his eyes for a long moment and then nodded and ducked his head, having to keep still as he wanted to toss his hair back and out of his face as it was always annoying when it did not cooperate. Rick was silent but for the quick catch in his breathing.
“I-- didn’t want you to look up.” The words were a hesitant whisper as now shaky fingers stroked through his hair again. “Because I knew what I’d see.”
“Do you wish me to look up now?” He offered, waiting.
“No.”
“All right. And what is it you expect to see when I do, habib?”
“Pain, loss– hopelessness.” Rick’s voice was a soft near whisper. “You don’t know what it does to a man’s soul, Ardeth, to be taken like that.”
“No, praise be to Allah, I do not.” He agreed, trying to keep from shivering as Rick’s fingers stroked along his nape and a bit down the back of his neck.
“It’s like, there’s no light any more.” Rick sighed. “It’s not when you look down that hurts you know. It’s that I’m always so afraid of what’ll be there when you look up, even when I know better.”
“Do you want to try or do you need to look away while I raise my head, hmm?”
“How much do you trust me?” The question was soft.
“Do you wish to tie the knots for real so that I do not have to hold on so tightly?” He asked in return tugging on his sash a bit.
“Damn it.” Rick sighed, but his fingers tightened in Ardeth’s hair and tugged so that he had no choice but to look up. Rick met his eyes for just a moment and then kissed him desperately. He gave the kiss back as best he could and found a smile when Rick finally released him.
“That was not painful at all.”
“Good.” Rick nodded. “Again?”
“If you wish.” He let his head fall forward a bit and then more. “This is awkward.”
“Yeah. Your arms are going to get tired.” Rick slowly ran his hands up Ardeth’s arms then down again along his sides. “You okay?”
“Hmm, fine, that feels very good.”
“Does it?” Rick whispered. “He had his hands all over you.”
“That was not me.”
“Could have been.” Rick’s voice was tight.
“I suppose.” He started to shrug. “Hold me, habib?”
Rick moved a bit closer and slid his arms around Ardeth and Ardeth only rested his head on Rick’s shoulder and then kissed the slightly cool skin softly. “Ready?”
“Yeah.” Rick’s arms tightened but this time he met Ardeth’s eyes as he looked up for longer. “Beautiful you know that?” Strong fingers brushed his hair from his face.
He smiled. “If it pleases you to think I am I will not argue.”
Rick leaned over and kissed him again. “Easier the second time.”
“It often is, yes.” He nodded. “Again?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Rick kissed him quickly. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“All of this.” Rick sighed, and only hugged him tighter.
“Hmm, you were willing to help me too, habib.” He pointed out, kissing Rick’s shoulder again.
“Yeah I guess so.” One hand stroked through his hair.
“I still feel much like a cat when you do that. Scratch harder, please?”
That got a slight chuckle and he smiled himself at the accomplishment as Rick’s fingers rubbed with more strength at the back of his head and then down his neck. He murmured his thanks against Rick’s shoulder and then sighed as Rick stepped back and let him go. “Look at me, Ardeth?” Rick’s voice was gentle. He raised his head to meet the dark blue eyes and smiled a bit as he did so.
“Better?” He asked softly.
“Yeah. I think so.” Rick nodded. “It’ll take a bit to be sure.”
“I am not expecting miracles, habibi, only progress.” He started to shrug and then stopped. “Hmm, that is awkward.”
“I bet. You can let go now if you want.”
“No, actually, I-- was hoping you would help me with my fear now.”
“Sure, if I can, Ardeth.” Rick nodded.
“Good.” He took a deep breath. “Can you-- hold the knife, habib?”
“Why?” The question was sharp.
“Because I need you too.” He returned. “Please?” Allah knew there was no way he would find the courage to ask again.
Rick looked at him for a long minute and then picked up the dagger. “All right.”
Ardeth watched the blade for a long moment, trying to gather his courage. “Step closer?”
Rick did so and he could not keep from shifting away.
“I am not going to hurt you, Ardeth.”
“I know that, habib. It is the knife I fear, Rick. Not you.”
“Okay.” Rick brought the blade a bit closer again. “It’s just a knife, Ardeth. It’s even one of yours. What’s to be afraid of?”
“Memories.” He swallowed hard. “It is a death I have always feared.”
“Being cut to ribbons? Sounds like a reasonable thing to be afraid of to me.”
He nodded. “Closer.” He requested softly.
“Any closer Ardeth and I’ll be touching you with it.” Rick pointed out. The blade about four inches from his skin now.
“Yes. I know. I need to– face it Rick. Do not make me ask again?”
Rick muttered something and then put the flat of the blade against his chest. “I am not going to cut you.”
“Allah forbid.” He managed around the fear that clawed at his throat. But after another moment or two the fear grew less even with the coolness of the blade against his skin. “At least I did not jump, hmm?”
“I don’t think I could take it if you were– standing like that and bleeding, Ardeth, especially if I’m holding the knife, huh? I’ll just lose it, okay?”
“As you say.” He nodded. “It is not so bad a fear now, only– a memory of being afraid.”
“Thank God for miracles.” Rick sighed but he drew the blade away and then tossed it hard toward the far wall where it clanged against he stone.
“I am sorry, habib. I did not mean for my ghosts to be a reason to summon yours.”
Rick shook his head. “It was just hard to see, Ardeth. But we’re both okay right? So...Maybe it will help that I did it and didn’t hurt you at all. I don’t know.”
“Neither do I, Rick. But I know it helped me.” He let go of the sash with a sigh and shook out his arms. Rick only pulled him into a long hot kiss and he wrapped his arms around his friend because he could and it felt very good to do so. “Bed habibi?” He asked finally when they pulled apart.
“Think we should?” Rick asked softly, but the kiss seemed to have eased him some.
“I want to try.” He nodded. Then he smiled. “Unless of course you want to actually try this with us standing or some such idiocy.”
“Standing?” Rick shook his head. “Doesn’t sound like much fun. That another of Nefshen’s ideas?”
“Hmm, yes.” He could recall that well. “But that is because she is so much smaller than me and can easily wrap her legs around my waist.”
“Works for a guy and a girl, sure.” Rick agreed and that was not a picture that Ardeth really needed to have in his mind, Allah have mercy. “But, I think we’re a bit out of luck.”
He thought for a moment and then simply turned around and brought his arms back over his head to grip the material again. “That would not work?”
Rick groaned something and stepped over to wrap his arms around him. “I don’t know how to even start with that, Ardeth. And hurting you by mistake is really not going to make me feel any better.”
“Well no, that would be foolish.” He leaned his head back against Rick’s shoulder. “Does this stir bad memories for you?”
“I don’t think so, actually. Crazy as it sounds it’s watching someone else behind you like this that scares the crap out of me. But you can let go, huh?”
“Hmm.” He did so, leaning back into Rick’s embrace. “I like this.”
“Being in my arms? I hope so.” Rick kissed his throat.
“Hmm, it is good to have you hold me like this, though. I like to know I do not have to watch my own back.”
“You realize how many meanings that can have, habibi?” Rick sighed.
“Yes. I am beginning too.” He smiled a bit. “Which is why I enjoy it so much I think.” He pressed back just a bit more.
“You are a tease.”
“Only when I desire you.” He sighed. “Which is almost always.”
“Almost always?” Rick kissed his throat again then along his shoulder.
“Hmm. Sometimes I am too sated to do so immediately.”
“Oh.” That made Rick smile against his shoulder. “We could get the oil and I can rub out your shoulders again since I bet they’re sore.”
“Not much. It is good that the post is not so high.” He reached back and stroked his hand down Rick’s thigh. “But I will never object to having you rub my shoulders.”
“Good. You want to lay down then?”
“All right.” He pulled the sash free from the ring and tossed it onto the bedside table. “Can you move the water jug here as well?”
“Sure.” Rick did so and then put the goblet with his sash. “Okay?”
“Hmm, so far, come kiss me habibi. Let us let the ghosts fend for themselves for a little bit.” He lay back on the bed and held out his hand.
“Sounds good.” Rick sat down beside him and then leaned over and kissed him and it was enough to let the worry go and simply enjoy that kiss. And the next and the next. He leaned his head back offering Rick his throat and Rick only took the invitation and began to tease him in earnest, down his throat across his collarbones down to first one nipple then the other. Ardeth only groaned and arched into the sensation finally pushing Rick away and rolling them over so he could return the caresses. He could feel Rick’s arousal against his stomach as he suckled one nipple and then brushed his beard along the sensitive skin. “God, that’s good.”
“Is it?” He smiled and then thought of something else and shook out his hair again to trail the ends along Rick’s skin as he moved lower.
“Tickles.” Rick chuckled, reaching down to tangle a hand in his hair.
“I rather thought it might.” He smiled and then placed a kiss to the tip of Rick’s cock. “Will you make love to me, habib?” He asked, licking lightly at the head.
“That not fair. Oh God, do you know how damned gorgeous you are?”
“Am I?” He smiled a bit and then repeated the move. “Not nearly as much so as you I do not think.”
“Right. Ardeth, habib, stop huh? Or-- I’m not going to be able to...”
He smiled and then kissed Rick lightly. “You will let us try this? For both our sakes?”
“Yeah, Ardeth. But then you’re going to owe me my turn, okay? I liked it too you know.”
“That is good to know yes. So did I.” He smiled and then kissed Rick again quickly. “Will you help me face another fear of mine, Rick?”
“If you want to try, yeah.” Rick smiled back gently. “Nothing that scary though okay, habibi?”
Ardeth nodded. “Not for us both anyway.” He swallowed hard and reached over for his sash and held it out to Rick. “Tie them?” He held out his hands, wrists together.
“Ardeth.”
“Do not make me ask again, Rick, please?” He knew he would never manage to do so.
“I’ll try.” Rick nodded and then tied one end of the sash around his wrists. “Why, Ardeth?”
“Because I need to know if I can face it.” He replied lying back on the bed and closing his eyes. “Pull.”
“Like hell.”
“Please.”
“Oh Christ, you are nuts.” Rick tugged on the sash with only a little pressure. And it was easy to pull against, nothing like the constant twisting burn he recalled from the ropes around his wrists.
“Do not coddle me now, habibi, I need to be free of this and there will never be a better time or another I trust half as much. Pull.”
Rick growled out something and then did so, yanked hard and Ardeth pulled with all his strength in the other direction, trying to keep still but it forced him to sit up none the less and he opened his eyes to meet Rick’s. And Allah help him but he could only smile. “I did not fear it.” The wonder of it was obvious in his voice. And Rick’s eyes lightened to a soft blue.
“No?” A smile that made Ardeth only smile more. “That’s good, huh?”
“They would pull us behind their horses you see, tied like this.” He indicated his hands. “I thought perhaps...But there was no fear.”
“Good.” Rick smiled a bit more. “Why now?”
“Because now I want you to set me loose and then we are going to try for the last of this and I am going to throughly enjoy myself.”
“We are, huh? You sure about that?”
“Yes.” And he was now. Rick sighed but untied the material from his wrists carefully, pulling first one hand to his lips and kissing the skin where the sash had been and then the other.
“I wondered what caused that.” Rick traced a slight line of scars along the underside of his left wrist. “Rope burn, huh?”
“Yes.” He nodded, and then pulled Rick close and kissed him, and it took surprisingly little time to reach the point of arousal he had been at before. “You will rub my shoulders, yes?” He laid down on the bed, having to shift a bit to accommodate his own arousal.
“Yeah habib, I can do that. I thought you didn’t like when I was so cautious.”
“There is a difference between over cautious and caring habib. I only object to the first.” He pointed out. Rick sighed but opened the jug of oil and worked some into Ardeth’s shoulders. “Hmm, that feels so good, mukalb.”
“Your heart now am I?” Rick whispered softly.
“Should I not?” He was not certain what to say exactly.
“I like it.” Rick squeezed his shoulders tightly. “You are so Arabic for an Egyptian you know.” There was a teasing smile to the words.
“Only in language.” He smiled. “And you have my heart, Rick so it should come as no surprise that you are mine.”
“If I had any idea how I can love two people so much at the same time maybe I could figure out how to answer that.”
“I am only thankful to Allah that you do.” He sighed. “Rick habibi. More please?”
“Okay.” Rick stroked down over the small of his back and then to his buttocks, kneading just a bit. “I’ll need more oil.”
“There is enough I think.”
“Yeah.” Rick leaned down and placed a kiss to the small of his back. “Of course I could use something besides oil.”
“Rick?” He started to ask what that meant when Rick moved his right leg forward a bit and then licked feather soft over his balls and back along the skin behind them to the opening to his body. Ardeth groaned out Rick’s name and only pressed deeper into the bedding. “Habib.”
Rick chuckled which only added to the sensation his tongue was causing and Ardeth could do nothing but press back into the odd almost liquid caress and catch his breath on a moan. Rick traced the path again with his tongue and then slowly pressed inside. And it was still so very much more than Ardeth knew how to feel. He forced out what he hopped was, “more please?” But he could not be certain it made any sense. Finally, the caress stopped and he simply lay there for a long moment trying to think.
“Ardeth? Habib? You okay?” Rick did not really sound worried though.
“Any better and I will believe this is Paradise.” He was amazed the words made sense.
Rick chuckled. “Good.” He reached for the oil and Ardeth forced himself to think.
“Wait?”
“Yeah sure. Okay?” Rick sighed. “Sorry?”
He smiled. “That is hardly a time I would expect you not to ask, habib. I only need you to help me put a last ghost to rest.”
“Can’t we leave them be, Ardeth?”
“When we are so close to freedom? I think we can get through the last of the maze, Rick do you not?”
“Maybe.” Rick sighed.
“All right then.” He put his right arm at his side and his left behind his back. “Take my wrist?” He asked softly.
“I don’t want to scare you.”
“Set me free, Rick?” He asked softly.
“That is not playing fair.”
“No it is not, but it is what I need, habibi please?”
Rick’s hand settled on his wrist and then squeezed just a bit. “Like that?”
“Yes. Well it was rather more twisted behind me but that hurts.”
“Yeah it does.” Rick stroked his other hand down Ardeth’s spine. “What about your other hand?”
“It is broken.”
“Oh, right, forgot that.” Rick sighed. “Now what, Ardeth?”
“Can you-- touch me inside with only one hand free?” He asked softly.
“I-- can try, yeah, if you’ll hold the oil in the hand you aren’t supposed to be using.”
“Yes, I think that will work.” He agreed and took the jug of oil to pour probably more than they needed on Rick’s fingers. Rick chuckled.
“Messy.” He leaned down and kissed the nape of Ardeth’s neck. “If it’s too much, I’ll stop. But, I’ll try not to panic and ask, okay?”
He chuckled. “Thank you.”
“Crazy idiotic stubborn Medjai.”
He laughed. “Two out of four now, that is better.”
“Right.” Rick sighed but the hand that stroked lightly between his legs was gentle still. Then one finger pressed against him and eased just a bit inside. “Why are you afraid of this, Ardeth? I-- thought you said they didn’t ...?”
Ardeth sighed. “No one else has ever touched me so, Rick. It is not the touch I fear. Only I think being held face down like this. I-- did not understand what they meant to do. Not then, not even truly in hell. I only thought I was going to die.”
“You are so damned brave, Ardeth.”
“On that we are even.” He shifted a bit against the teasing caress. “Even like this it feels so good when you touch me so, Rick. More now, habib, please?”
“Okay.” Rick eased that finger inside him and Ardeth only sighed, still amazed and aroused both at how good it felt and how much his body enjoyed Rick’s touch. He groaned out Rick’s name. “That sounds so good, habib.”
“Not as good as you feel, Rick, please? More?”
“Yeah. Every time we do this, and I can tell how much you enjoy it...It’s a little easier not to think about how Rolande screamed or...how you did.”
“I have never been hurt so, Rick. And your touch feels so good. Especially when you reach that one spot. Please?”
“Okay.” Rick slid the second finger in slowly and it was a bit tight but not uncomfortable either. Ardeth sighed and relaxed into the touch as best he could. “You feel so good.”
He could not help but flush a bit. “Rick.”
“Anything you want, Ardeth.”
“More?”
“All right.” Rick’s fingers stroked deeper and Ardeth groaned out his name, the desire spiraling like fire in his blood. “Hard to think I might be hurting you when you say my name like that.”
“Good. No pain at all. It is so good, Rick.” He tried to make the words make sense
“Yeah? You know how beautiful you are? God, I want you, Ardeth.”
“Thanks be to God.” He managed the words before Rick’s fingers found that spot within him that spun the lighting through his blood like nothing else he had ever known. “Now?”
“Soon, habibi, feels good, huh?” Rick kissed the back of his neck and Ardeth shifted a bit only then remembering Rick had ahold of his wrist. But no fear came with being unable to move so he did not worry about it. “Three now.” And a third finger slid into him, making him shift again, deeper into the bedding.
“I can not wait much longer, Rick, please?”
“Feels good?” There was a smile to Rick’s voice and then those fingers found the same spot and he arched his back, trying to manage Rick’s name but it was really only a groan. “So beautiful, Ardeth. You want to roll over, habibi, so I can see you?” Rick slowly pulled his fingers free and Ardeth only groaned at the loss.
“No.” He shook his head, clinging to the only thought he had left. “We will win this.” He tugged against Rick’s hand around his wrist.
“Want me to let go?”
There was no fear at not being able to get free so he nodded. Rick let him go and he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees and passed the bottle of oil back to Rick.
“I don’t know if I can, Ardeth.” Rick’s voice was a rough whisper.
“I trust you, habibi. Please.”
“Okay. I...” Ricks hands were on his hips. “Spread your legs a little, Ardeth?”
He did so and then sighed out his breath as Rick pressed just the head inside. And there was that moment of impossibility when Rick felt so very huge inside him but he pushed back a bit and then groaned at the feel. “So good, habibi.”
“Yeah?” Rick sounded so very uncertain. Ardeth looked over his shoulder as best he could.
“Odd yes, but good. More?”
“Yeah.” Rick slid a little deeper and Ardeth groaned again trying for Rick’s name. Rick leaned forward and kissed his shoulder, sliding deeper again and Ardeth pushed back and then there was no more to take and it was almost too good for him to keep from tears, but Rick would only worry.
“Rick.” It was all he could manage.
“Good?” Rick kissed his shoulder and then moved a bit, easing out and back in and the pressures were all different but it still felt so very, very good. He tossed his head back wanting more and knowing he was so close to the edge it would shatter him. Another slow thrust and he found his voice.
“Touch me?”
Rick reached around and clasped him tightly in one oil slick hand and that was more than enough to make him groan again. “Good?” Rick asked, the word mostly a groan.
“Yes.” It was, but he decided he did not care for the position nearly as much as he had the other two. “But it is better...when I can see you, or when I am in your arms.”
“Yeah, I like that too.” Rick leaned forward again and kissed his shoulder. “Trust me?”
“Allah’s mercy of course I do.”
Rick chuckled and then let go of his arousal to reach both arms around Ardeth’s chest and then pull him up onto just his knees and then back so that he was straddling Rick’s knees as they both knelt on the bed. Ardeth groaned, at the change in the sensation, almost crying out at the feel. “Ardeth?”
“So good.” He shifted his weight a bit, because Rick felt so very huge inside him, impossibly deep. “Rick?”
“Yeah. Thought that might feel good.” Rick kept one arm wrapped around his chest the other stroking along his arousal again. And it did feel so much more than wonderful, having Rick against him like this, within and around and...He groaned again as Rick thrust up a bit off his heels. Rick echoed his groan though in what might have been his name, and he gave a thought to the fact that Rick was right, it was a very nice sound indeed. Then there was no more room for thought, only the tight coiling flame and Rick’s body behind him, around him, within him and he was tossed high into the spiral of desire like a feather on the summer winds and it was a long time before he could do more than try to recall how to breathe.
Somehow he was lying on the mattress beneath him and Rick was lying on top of him, their bodies still connected which made him smile. “Habib?”
“Shhh.” Rick whispered against his hair.
He smiled a bit more. “I need to breathe, hmm?”
“Oh, yeah. ‘Kay.” Rick rolled them onto their sides still pressed together and Ardeth could not stifle the groan as Rick slipped from his body. “Ardeth?”
“Only joy lost, habibi.” He managed and then rolled over so he was in Rick’s arms and held close.
“Thank you, muHabb.” Rick whispered against his hair.
“For?” He snuggled closer.
“Making it good.”
“I only did half.” He pointed out. Then he laid his head on Rick’s shoulder and tried for the words. “In a bit, can I have some water, habibi, I am very thirsty?”
Rick only tightened his arms. “Anything you want, habib.”
“Hmm. I want to nap and then bathe and then, we can see if you enjoy it so well.”
Rick chuckled, but there were tears as well. “With you, Ardeth? Yeah, I will.”
He flushed. “Hmm. I suppose I can hope so.”
“Can I use your water to wash us up?” Rick asked.
“You can.” He sighed but let Rick shift enough to get the jug. After a moment’s thought Rick wet his sash and then wiped them both clean then tossed fabric onto the floor and set the jug back down.
“You want that drink now, habibi?”
“Later will do.” He snuggled closer again and somehow they found one of the sheets to pull up around them. “When I am not full of clouds habibi we can talk of this, hmm?”
“Yeah.” Rick only pulled him tighter and that was enough for now.
“May all that is bright and beautiful fill your dreams, habibi.”
“You too, Ardeth, you too.” Rick’s hand stroked down his back and he let himself sink into the warmth of his lover’s arms and sleep.
Maghrib:ToC