Descendents

The Descendents were one of the first bands to come out of the California 80's punk scene. They basically paved the way for every band that calls themselves "pop-punk" today by being the first to write snotty songs about heartbreak and not wanting to grow up. They kept having to go on and off hiatus in their heydey to allow vocalist Milo Aukerman time to go to college and become a biochemist. The other most consistant member is Bill Stevenson, who went on to drum for Black Flag after they broke up the first time. Broke up for the first time, you say? Yes, the Descendents broke up in 1987, but reformed in 1996 and are still goin' today. If you want some good lo-fi pop-punk, you need to get out there and pick up a Descendents CD.

Two Things At Once (1982) 10 Thumbs Up

This CD contains all the tracks off their first two releases, Bonus Fat and Milo Goes To College. It sounds awesome. There's no possible way they could have topped themselves, and putting two amazing releases into one is just the cherry on a sweet, sweet sundae of pop-punk that isn't too poppy. Milo's voice is what makes this band, let me tell you. He's got the perfect snotty high school brat tone, while managing to sound like a lovestruck geek on the Descendents' songs about love and heartbreak. If high school kids would listen to this instead of rap-rock or nu-metal or whatever the hell all those kids with spiked hair and baggy jeans think is cool, this world would be a far better place. Every pop-punk band, from the most commercial MTV whore to the lowliest garage outfit has this record to thank for letting them play that music.

These songs are all barely-two-minute punk blasts - perfect for someone like me with a super short attention span. The best tracks are the anti-poser "Tonyage," love songs "Hope" and "Kabuki Girl," pseudo-political "Statue of Liberty," and the anthem for dejected misfits everywhere, "I'm Not A Loser." The last two tracks, "Ride the Wild" and "It's A Hectic World" are poppy surf-rock songs from the days before Milo was in the band. And those are only a handful of the 23 tracks you get on this CD. 23 tracks! Now that's good value. Have I implied enough that this album is essential? If you like pop-punk, this should be your Bible.

I Don't Want to Grow Up (1985) 8 Thumbs Up

Milo left for college right after the recording of, uh, Milo Goes To College. While the band was on hiatus, guitarist Frank Nevetta left. This album suffers a bit because of his loss, as he was one of their best songwriters. Without him, a lot of the lyrics have become really cheesy attempts at high school humour. This album is much slower and poppier than their previous, and doesn't quite capture that jump-around-your-room feel. But that doesn't mean it's a bad album. Its main problem is being not very consistent.

The opening track, "Descendents," and "Rock Star" are great, and so are the last three songs, "Christmas Vacation," "Good Good Things," and "Ace." "Silly Girl" really has an 80's rock vibe to it, and that's not bad! Unfortunately, a lot of the rest is cheesy pop fare that comes off like filler. The songs are more melodic, but are lacking a certain energy the last record had. It's probably the best they could've done coming immediately away from college and another band, Black Flag, and losing an original member.

Enjoy! (1986) 7 Thumbs Up

Okay, they did the right thing by making the melodies faster and catchier instead of slow and poppy. The songs "80's Girl," "Sour Grapes," and "Cheer" are really good, but unfortunately, that's about all they did right. There's just too much filler on this album, like a lame instrumental, two minutes of the band farting, and a depressing track that's almost eight minutes long. The title track, "Enjoy," is pathetically cheesy. "Wendy" is actually not bad, but it's just a Beach Boys' cover. There's good production, like Bill's amazing drumming skills being very high in the mix, but good production can't save an album with this much filler and forgettable melodies.

The band has worked themselves into a rut with this album. They're not high school kids anymore, but want to retain that hopeless brat feel to their recordings. As a result, they go over the top in trying to make it a record that teenagers will like. I still say it's deserving of a 7, though, because the songs that are good are definite crowd pleasers. "Days are Blood," the aforementioned eight minute long track, wouldn't be a bad stab at a different Descendents style if it wasn't so mind-numbingly long. It's only a few dumb mistakes that doom this album.

All (1987) 8 Thumbs Up

I'm amazed they could recover so easily from Enjoy! despite the fact that both their guitarist and bassist were replaced. The new bassist Karl Alverez is a definite bonus. He's not only a good songwriter, but probably the best bassist they've had so far. Stephen Egerton is just kind of there. He's an okay guitarist, and doesn't write anything. The Descendents have become considerably more experimental since their last album, which I think is a good thing. There's nothing lamer than a band trying to rewrite the most popular album they had over and over for their entire career. This album has a more experimental metal sound to it, maybe learned from Bill's days in Black Flag?

"Schizophrenia," the most experimental track on the CD, goes on for close to 7 minutes, but each of those minutes is a good minute. The song "Iceman" is just plain awesome - probably my favourite Descendents song. "Coolidge," "Clean Sheets," and "Jealous of the World" are all great classic Descendents tracks. The album keeps the theme of All, the Descendents' humourous religious cult, all the way through, with tracks like "All-O-Gistics," a spoken word bit about the rites of All. It's not a concept album, but it has a theme. This CD is totally different from anything else they ever put out, and that's what makes it great. This was the last album they put out before their temporary break-up, and it's a good temporary send-off.

Everything Sucks (1996) 8 Thumbs Up

The Descendents are back, and after a 9 year hiatus to refresh themselves, are better than ever! It's the same lineup from the All album, which is surprising considering how often they used to switch guitarists and bassists! The songs are faster than ever, and have sort of a new sound to them. The way they are produced, it sounds almost like skater punk. Of course, every song still retains that awesome Descendents-like quality to it. It's just far faster and thrashier than ever.

The Descendents are back to basics with this CD. Very few tracks are longer than 3 minutes. "Coffee Mug" and "Eunuch Boy" are flashbacks to the Two Things At Once days of 30 second songs. The title track "Everything Sucks," "Doghouse," and "Caught" sound like they could've been written back in 1982! The production is good enough to make it fun to listen to, but isn't overproduced like so many skater punk bands today. Near the end, the songs start to get a bit cheesy, but the majority of this record is great. The Descendents have become a bit more mainstream, but are just as good as ever. I wish all punk band reunions were as awesome as this album.

'Merican [EP] (2004) 8 Thumbs Up

This is a sort of "preview" to their next CD, Cool To Be You, which isn't out yet as I write this. "'Merican" and "Nothing With You" are going to be on that album as well, while "Here With Me" and "I Quit" are sort of bonus tracks that won't appear anywhere else. There's also a hidden track at the very end, which is slower and more depressing than what Descendents fans might be used to. That's probably why it's hidden. This EP still has that skater style production to it, but it fits the Descendents perfectly.

Title track "'Merican" is a political anthem in less than 2 minutes, featuring the chorus "Listen up man, I'll tell you who I am, just another stupid American!" It's a sad day when the US' state of affairs is so bad that even the Descendents have to say something. I'm probably going to be taken down by the Patriot Act for saying that, aren't I? "Here With Me" and "Nothing With You" are quality catchy pop-punk, and closing track "I Quit" is a hilarious song about the troubles of being in a punk band. I think the hidden track is great, even for being very different from the Descendents' style. If the new album sounds like this, it's going to be great.

Cool To Be You (2004) 8 Thumbs Up

At first glance, this CD seems very similar to Everything Sucks, but that's mostly just the skater-punk-style production. This CD is a lot darker and more introspective than anything the Descendents have ever done before. Listening to them sing about the sad state of America, family, death, marriage, divorce, and even having children, it seems as though everyone's favourite self-styled immature geeks are...growing up? Nah, only a few songs later they're singing about farting and how great it is to kick jocks' asses by getting good grades. They're still more or less the same people they were 20 years ago.

Milo and Bill's songs are by far the best on the album, like "Anchor Grill" and "Talking." These two work hard to capture the style of the original Descendents. On the other hand, Karl's songs are the downers of the album, like "Cool To Be You," a song about envying someone with a loving family and confidence. However, this doesn't make them bad. It's interesting to hear Milo singing about such serious topics. "Dog and Pony Show," which rails against sluts, is a pretty good serious song, too. This album is consistent and great. Whether you like the classic Descendents or their newer stuff, it doesn't disappoint.

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