I don't know if you've heard, but starting Jan 1, 2001 you will no longer be able to legally use a cell phone while driving unless you have a "hands free" adapter. I went to circuit City and they wanted $50.00 for a hands free adapter!!! I have managed to obtain a quantity of "off brand" units and was wondering if you or anyone you know is interested. These kits are compatible with any mobil phone, and one size fits all. I paid $8.00 each for buying in quantity. I'm selling them for $10. I tried them out on Ericsson, Motorola, and Nokia phones and they worked perfectly. I've attached a photo. Take a look and let me know if you want one.Hurry, while supplies last! Thanks

Thank You Leon for sending this, any many others you'll recognize for me to place up on my site smile.

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"
At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes."

A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more
than men, showed her a study which indicated
that men use on the average only 15,000
words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words
a day.

She thought about this for awhile and then told her
husband that women use twice as many words
because they have to repeat everything they
say to men.

Looking stunned, he said, "what?"

One morning, a grandmother was surprised to find that her 7-year old grandson had made her coffee! Smiling, she choked down the worst cup of her life. When she finished, she found three little green Army men at the bottom. Puzzled, she asked, "Honey, what are these Army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson answered, "Like it says on TV, Grandma, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."

Blue-haired Old aunts used to come to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They Stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
(Thanks Marnie! I think I'll use this sometime) smile.

A lady drives to her driveway, jumps out of the car, runs in the house yelling..."I WON THE DAMN LOTTERY!!! and tells her husband to pack, quick!!!
What should I pack, he yells back, mountain gear or beach stuff? She yells back...I Don't Care Just Pack Your Matchbox Full Of Stuff And GET OUT!!!!!

A young woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried yet again and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally croaked. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply." In his final eulogy, he noted. "Thank you Lord, they're finally together." Leaning over to his neighbor, one mourner asked..."Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The other mourner then replied..."I think he means her legs!"

One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out,
"My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter!
Help! Please anyone! Help!"

A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that
he was quite experienced at this sort of thing.
He stepped over with almost no look of
concern at all, wrapped his hands around the boy's
gonads, and squeezd. Out poped the quarter.
The man then went back to his table as
though nothing had happened.

"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a
paramedic?"

"NO," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree.

2. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take
the time to look for it.
For example, I am
sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.


3. One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in aerobics class pulls a hamstring.


4. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.


5. Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.


6. Families are like fudge..mostly sweet with a few nuts.


7. Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.


8. My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.


9. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.


10. You "know" you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

It took the Pennsylvania Division of Motor Vehicles 6 months to figure out and "REVOKE" this personalized license plate: 3M TA3 can you tell why?

A couple made a deal that whoever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact. Mary....Mary.... Is that you Fred? Yes, I have come back like we agreed. What is it like? Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bath in the sun, then I have sex-twice, I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. Supper then sex till late at night, sleep then start all over again. Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven! Hell no, I'm a rabbit in Kansas!!