~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey Nick........Nick..........YO NICK!!"
Nick jerked his head around and stared at Brian, "Yea?"
"What's up? You haven't really been with it today?"
"Nothing....."
"Come on Frack.....you're thinking about Sam aren't you?"
Nick looked at Brian and didn't have to say anything. His eyes said it all.
"Brian.......I.....I love her.....and I don't want to lose her."
Brian just stared at Nick for a minute, "Whoa.....you're serious......you really do love her don't you?"
"Yea........and now she's gonna leave.....and she'll be off at college with all those guys and she'll forget all about me."
"Nick that's not going to happen. Why don't you just tell her how you feel?"
"Yea sure Brian......so she can laugh at me! I don't think so."
"Nick........she's not going to laugh at you. You need to tell her......and she needs to hear it."
Nick and Brian just stared at each other for a bit until Kevin came up.
"Hey, you guys gonna join us sometime today?" Kevin said looking from Nick to Brian, "What's going on guys?"
"Nick is being stubborn!"
"Well that's not new, but what about this time?"
"Sam. He refuses to tell her he loves her."
"Whoa.....you love her Nick?"
"YES!! Okay!! I love Sam......why don't we announce it on television!" Nick blew up.
"Whoa, chill dude. Why don't you just tell her. I mean, anyone can see you two are in love with each other. She probably needs to hear it from you.....especially before she leaves. Or she may think you don't care anymore."
"Do you really think she's gonna think I don't care?"
"She might Nick........"
Nick just nodded, "How much longer is this rehearsal?"
Kevin and Brian glanced at each other and nodded.
"Go ahead and go talk to her. We're pretty much done here."
"You sure Kev?"
"Yea I'm sure......"
"What about the managers?"
"We'll take care of them....now get out of here before they catch you!"
"Thanks guys!" Nick said hugging the both of them before turning and running out of the studio and heading to Sam's.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sam sat in her room and looked around at her now bare walls and sighed. She was leaving in two days. Every time she thought of this she got more and more depressed. She was leaving behind her parents, her friends........and Nick. Sam snapped out of her daze when someone knocked on her door.
"Yea? Come in."
Sam looked up as her mom stepped in the room.
"Hey sweetie...."
"Hey mom......."
"You okay?"
Sam nodded but couldn't bring herself to voice her answer.
"Come on sweetie.....it'll be okay. You can come home on the weekends and summers.........you're not going that far away....."
"I know mom.....but....."
"But what?"
"What if..........what if he finds someone else......."
"Oh Sam.........is that why you've been so upset? Do you honestly think Nick is going to find someone else?"
"I dunno......I don't even know how he feels about me."
"What do you mean?"
"He's never told me how he feels."
"Well, have you told him?"
Sam thought for a moment, "No, I guess not...."
"Then maybe he's just as worried as you. You don't know how he feels and he doesn't know how you feel. Do you know how you feel?"
Sam looked at her mom but didn't respond for a few minutes, "No.....I don't know how I feel.......I'm so confused!"
Stephanie gave Sam a hug and then quietly left the room. Sam stared at the one the one thing she hadn't packed yet.......the drawing Nick gave her for her birthday. As she stared, she began crying softly. She didn't know how long she sat there, but it must have been awhile. She continued to cry.
"Sam?"
Jerking her head around, she found herself looking directly at Nick.
"What are you doing here?"
"I got out of rehearsal early........what's wrong?" he said sitting next to her on the bed.
"Nothing....."
Nick began to rub her back while they sat there in silence.
"Can we go somewhere and talk Sam?"
Sam just nodded and proceeded to follow Nick outside. She continued to follow him as he walked down to the beach and made his way to their set of caves. Once they were settled inside, Nick turned to her.
"What's wrong Sam? And don't tell me nothing......you never cry.....especially over nothing."
"It was nothing Nick......I was just thinking about how I'm gonna miss my room."
"Is that all you're gonna miss?"
Sam looked at him incredulously, "How can you even ask that! This isn't easy Nick. I'm leaving everything I know behind........and it's scaring the hell out of me."
"I didn't mean it like that Sam........I don't know what I meant.....I'm sorry."
"No I shouldn't have yelled.......I haven't been myself lately."
"Me either......"
"I'm going to miss you Nick. I'm going to miss looking out my window and looking into yours. I'm going to miss these caves, I'm going to miss the little things........."
Nick just nodded his head and they drifted into a depressed silence. After a while Nick finally broke it.
"We need to talk Sam......."
"I know....."
"Man, this is hard...........you know I don't want you to go......but I can't ask you to stay. It wouldn't be right. Um........I.........oh man....I don't even know how to say this......." Nick mumbled looking down.
All Sam could think was 'He's going to break up with me....' as he mumbled and refused to look her in the eyes.
"Sam....." Nick said taking a deep breath and looking directly in Sam's eyes, "Sam......I love you."
Sam sat there with her mouth hanging open. After a few moments, something in her brain snapped. The only coherent thought she had was 'I have to get out of here'
"Nick......I'm......oh god......" she mumbled standing up, "I'm so sorry" she wept before turning and climbing out of the cave and down to the beach.
Nick sat there stunned for a moment before rushing to the opening of the cave, "SAM!!" he hollered. She never even looked up. Nick watched at Sam reached the beach and took off running in the opposite direction. Staring until she was out of site, Nick sat down and stared at the cave walls. He wasn't sure how to take what had just happened. He didn't know how to respond......so he began to cry.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As soon as Sam's feet hit the sand, she took off running away from the caves. Never looking back, she ran until she felt her lungs were about to burst. At that point, Sam sat in the sand and cried some more. Sometime between when she had left the cave and when she had stopped the sky had become gray and overcast. The ocean was choppy and as Sam stared out at it, all she could see was the turmoil.....and how it mirrored her emtions. And as Sam stared out and cried, the sky opened up and began crying with her. Not even bothering to get up, Sam sat in the sand and became soaked with heaven's tears as they mingled with her own. Sam sat through the entire storm and it wasn't until much later that she slowly made her way back home. The rain had stopped but her tears had not.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After Nick had stopped crying, he climbed out of the caves and made his way home. As he reached his house, he thought of going to see if Sam was home but thought better of it. Walking inside, he told his mom he was going out and grabbed his keys and left. During his drive, he felt his anger build. Once he had reached his destination, it was to the boiling point. It only increased as he knocked on the door and waited for it to be answered.
"Oh hey Nick! What are you doing here?"
"This is all your fault!" Nick said between clenched teeth.
"What are you talking about?"
Nick stormed past Brian into his apartment, barely registering that Kevin, Howie and AJ were there as well.
"I took your stupid advice and talked to Sam!"
"What happened?"
"YOU WANNA KNOW!!! Well, lets see, I made an ass out of myself!! I TOLD HER I LOVED HER!! And all she did was turn around and run in the other direction!!! Thanks ever so much!!! I should have never listened to you!!! I've ruined everything thanks to you!" Nick screamed. At this point he took a swing at Brian, but being so emotional, he missed.
Brian just stood there, shocked. He didn't know what was more shocking, the fact that Nick had just screamed at him or had just tried to hit him. The rest of the guys just sat there with looks of surprise on their face. Not sure what to do, Brian just walked up to Nick and pulled him into a hug. Nick broke down completely and started crying like a little boy. Brian looked over at the other guys, a worried look on his face. After Nick's sobs had subsided a bit, Brian led him into his bedroom and sat him down. Leaving the room for a minute, he came back with a box of tissues and a can of soda.
"Thanks," Nick mumbled.
"No problem........why don't you tell me what happened from the beginning."
Nick sniffled and nodded, "Okay....after I left the rehearsal I went over to Sam's. Well, she was in her room crying. So I asked if we could go somewhere and talk and she said yes. So I took her to our caves on the beach. When we got up there we talked for a few minutes and then I told her I loved her......."
Nick stopped and had to catch his breath to keep from crying again.
"And then after a few minutes of not saying anything she said 'I'm so sorry' and turned and climbed out. Once I realized she was leaving I went to the opening, yelled her name......and watched as she took off running down the beach.....never once looking back," Nick finished, staring down at his hands.
Brian sat beside him and put his arm around him, "I'm sorry Nick.....I don't know what to say. I mean....we've all seen the way she is around you. She's so in love with you......I didn't think she'd react that way. Maybe she just got scared."
Nick nodded taking a gulp of his soda. They both sat there in silence for a while.
"Brian.....I'm sorry about yelling at you.......and sorry about that pitiful attempt to hit you."
Brian couldn't help but chuckle at that, "That's okay Frack......you're upset......you needed someone to yell at.....and I'm guessing you wanted to yell at Sam but she wasn't around. And about the punch.......that's okay........now if you had hit me we might of had a problem."
Brian and Nick looked at each other and began laughing.
"There that's better. You hungry Frack? I think we're gonna order some pizza."
"Yea....I never did eat."
Nick followed Brian back out to the living room. Brian nodded slightly to the others indicating they shouldn't mention anything yet.
"Yo Nick!"
"Hey AJ."
"So are we gonna order this pizza or what? I'm dying of hunger here!" Kevin asked faking hunger pains by grabbing his stomach.
Everyone started laughing and the mood lightened considerably. Brian went to order the pizza and Nick took a seat watching the others goof off.......his mind going back to Sam.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Sam walked into her house, she came face to face with her mother.
"Where have you been?! I've been worried sick!"
Sam opened her mouth to speak and started crying instead. Stephanie looked shocked for a second before going and enveloping her daughter in a hug.
"Shhhh........come on sweetie.....what's wrong?"
Sam tried to speak but couldn't stop hiccupping. Stephanie led her into the living room and sat her down. Sam continued to cry hysterically as Stephanie went and grabbed some tissue and a drink.
"Sweetie, come on, calm down. What's wrong?"
After about 10 minutes of waiting, Sam finally got herself under control enough to speak.
"Nick said he loved me......"
"That's great honey!"
At this Sam started crying again. Stephanie took one look at her daughter and almost started crying herself. Sam looked so fragile and upset.
"Honey.....I thought you'd be happy......"
"I am.....I mean.....I don't know......after he said it I took off running."
"What?"
"I took off running in the opposite direction."
"Sweetie.......why?"
"I don't know.....I panicked. I mean.....why did he have to do this now? When I'm leaving!!! It just makes it harder!!"
"Oh honey....I'm sorry......I.....I don't know what to tell you right now......everything will work out........"
"That's okay......I'm just.......freaked out. Mom?"
"Yea?"
"I wanna go."
"Wanna go where?"
"I want to head up to Florida State now."
"Sweetie.....we're leaving in two days......"
"I have to go now. Can't I leave tonight? You guys can come up on Saturday.....but I need to get out of here now. If I don't go now....I won't be able to go at all."
Stephanie looked at her daughter for a long time before nodding.
"Okay....go get whatever stuff you need ready. I'm gonna call some hotels and make you some reservations until Saturday."
"Thanks mom."
Sam hugged her mom and headed upstairs to pack. Stephanie sighed and got out the phone book. As soon as Sam entered her room, she picked up her phone to call Sera.
"Hello?"
"Sera?"
"Sam? What's wrong?"
"Nothing.....I was just calling to let you know I'm leaving early."
"What!! When are you leaving?"
"Tonight."
"But why?"
"It's a long story....."
"I'll be over in 5 minutes...."
"No, you don't have to Sera."
"Yea I do. If anything, just to say good-bye. I'll see you in 5."
Sam and Sera hung up and Sam went about packing her overnight bag.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well, not to be the freak to bring up bad news......but what are you going to do about Sam?"
"That's okay Howie.....I guess I'm gonna let her be for tonight and try to talk to her tomorrow....."
The rest of the guys nodded in agreement.
"Are you still going to do the concert tomorrow?"
"Of course!! I'm not going to let you guys down okay? I'll be fine......."
Everyone fell into silence. The silence didn't last long for a few minutes later, the pizza arrived. Everyone grabbed a few slices and pigged out. Nick was about to leave afterwards when the guys conned him into staying a bit longer and having a video game competition in hopes to cheer him up. It was just what he needed. After 4 hours of video games, his mood had lifted considerably. When he finally did get home, it was late. Pulling into his driveway, he noticed Sam's car was gone.
"I wonder where she went...." he thought to himself before climbing out of the truck and going inside. Without stopping to see his folks, he headed straight up to bed and fell into a fitful sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sera walked into Sam's bare room a few minutes after their conversation.
"Hey Sam."
"Hey Sera," Sam said softly.
"What's wrong?"
Sam didn't need much prodding. She began crying again. Sera stared at her in shock for a moment. She wasn't used to seeing Sam so emotional. After a few minutes Sam calmed down.
"Sorry....."
"Hey, it's okay.....what happened?"
"Nick said he loved me....."
"Well......isn't that a good thing?"
"Normally it would be......but why did he have to do it now?? I was leaving in two days!!! Didn't he even think that might make it harder!!"
Sera nodded her head, understanding.
"I'm sorry Sam......so is that why you're leaving early?"
"Yea.....I don't want to risk seeing him right now. If I do.....I won't leave at all."
"I understand. I'm gonna miss you Sam."
"I know......I'm gonna miss you too......."
The two girls began crying as they hugged each other.
"You keep in touch, you hear me!? I don't want to have to go up there and kick your ass!"
Sam started laughing, "Yes ma'am. Oh, here's my dorm address and I'll give you the number as soon as I find out what it is."
Sam handed Sera a slip of paper with her info on it.
"Don't give it to Nick," she said seriously.
Sera nodded and with one last hug, turned and left. Sam glanced around to make sure she had everything. Her eyes fell to her dresser where the picture Nick had drawn her still sat. Sighing, Sam placed it in the bottom of her bag. With one last glance, Sam grabbed her stuff and headed downstairs where her parents waited.
"Well sweetie, here are directions to the hotel. It's right near the campus. I'm going to call them tomorrow and then I'll call you. You are to call me as soon as you reach the hotel.....I don't care how late it is."
Sam just nodded and gave her mom a long hug, "Mom.....thanks......and please don't give Nick my address or phone number....please....."
Stephanie nodded as tears filled her eyes. Her baby was leaving. Sam looked up at her dad. As he pulled her into a strong hug, she couldn't help but cry a little.
"We'll see you on Saturday, okay princess."
"Okay daddy."
Pulling away, Sam headed outside and put her stuff in her car. She made sure the directions and a map were up front and she had her mom's credit card for an emergency. Sam also had her check book and ATM card so she could get to her money if she needed to. Giving both of her parents a hug again, Sam got in her car and glanced towards Nick's. Seeing that his truck was gone, Sam backed out. Fingering the ID necklace Nick gave her, she headed away from town and away from Nick..........