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WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING ABOUT

"To boldly go nowhere fast!" - Critic #1

"A show about nothing with special effects!" - Critic #2





CMDR. JERRY SEINFELD
SERIAL NO. NYC978675645321
DEPARTMENT: COMMAND
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: STARBASE VANDELAY


LT. CMDR. ELAINE BENES a.k.a. 2 out of 3

SERIAL NO. NYC556781233014
DEPARTMENT: SCIENCES
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: STARBASE VANDELAY


LT. COSMO KRAMER

SERIAL NO. NYC912334216679
DEPARTMENT: SCIENCES
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: STARBASE VANDELAY


ENSIGN GEORGE COSTANZA

SERIAL NO. NYC000000012353
DEPARTMENT: SHIP SERVICES
CURRENT ASSIGNMENT: STARBASE VANDELAY



EPISODE SYNOPSES

"Shrinkage"
Ensign Costanza starts shrinking after taking a swim in a quarantined planets' ocean.

"The Zupnaziite"
A feared promotion in Starbase Services puts a Zupnaziite native in charge of food prep - a position Ensign Costanza was up for.

"Two Of One, A Sixth Of A Dozen Of The Other"
Cmdr. Seinfeld's new girlfriend is an Orion slave girl with four breasts; 2 out of 3 is convinced the last two are fake.

"The Gnoze"
A parasite in Cmdr. Seinfeld's left nostril grabs his finger when he goes to pick his nose and won't let go; meanwhile, Lt. Kramer decides to start cooking in his quarters.

"Inheritance Spending"
Ensign Costanza's parents pay a visit to the starbase.

"2 Out Of 3 Or 6 To 4"
2 out of 3's new boyfriend goes mad and takes over the starbase after he ponders the disparity between 2's name and the fact that she hangs out with 3 other crewmembers.

"The Commander's New Clothes"
Cmdr. Seinfeld accidentally approves an unusual dress uniform design while shopping for a costume to replicate; meanwhile, Lt. Kramer decides to jog through the entire starbase backwards.

"Up, Up And Obey"
Cmdr. Seinfeld takes leave time to visit his parents on FloridAlpha I; meanwhile, Crewman tries to boobytrap Cmdr. Seinfeld's quarters, but is confronted by the Emergency Holographic Superman.

"Four"
Lt. Kramer talks Ensign Costanza into a golf game on the holodeck; meanwhile, 2 out of 3 loses another boyfriend on a landing party.

All concepts and media on this page ©2006 by Brian Matthews
STAR TREK © Paramount Pictures
SEINFELD © NBC


From an idea by Patman
Particular thanks to Lee Cain and Rob Wingate

"YADA, Yada, yada...!"