DISCLAIMER: Dear Santa, I've been a good little fanficcer this year. I hardly used any bad words, I didn't write any Remy and Rogue stories and I only maimed Scott once if you don't count the atomic wedgie. So please, Santa, let Marvel know that I'm only borrowing Bobby and Hank for this story and I'll give them right back as soon as I'm done. Merry X-Mas!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have to put the lights on our Christmas tree every year. 'Nuff said. Many thanks to my brother, Spartacus, for betareading and helping me with the plot.

ARCHIVIST'S NOTE: This story was part of the 2000 Holiday Fanfic Project.

Hank stared up at the 15-foot Frasier fir that stood before him in the living room with a sense of impending doom. He could already feel his fur starting to itch and he hadn't even come within an arm's length of the tree yet. Why, oh why had he let himself be dragged from the comfort of his nice, clean lab?

Bobby stood by his side, wearing a big and somewhat ridiculous-looking grin on his face, which was almost completely obscured by the huge cardboard box he held in front of him.

Hank sighed. "Tell me again why you volunteered the two of us to undertake the illumination of this arboreal giant?"

"Because you've been spending way too much time on your research and you need a break." Bobby struggled to put the box on the floor without damaging its contents. "Besides, it'll be fun."

"Fun?" Hank raised an eyebrow as he glanced at his friend, afraid to look away from the tree for too long on the chance that it might grow another six feet. "Fun would be discovering a new isotope, or eating a box of Twinkies, or even being kidnapped by an evil doppelganger. This, my friend, is what we call 'work.'"

"C'mon, Hank, where's your Christmas spirit?"

"I left it in the lab. Perhaps I'll just go back and - "

"Great! I'll go with you. We can sing carols. Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh, o'er the fields we go..."

"STOP!" Hank plugged his ears with his fingers. Bobby was not only annoying, he was tone-deaf as well. He glared at the younger X-Man. "If I help you with this do you promise to stop singing?"

"Yep." Bobby grinned, and Hank knew immediately that he had been duped into staying.

Hank looked down at the cardboard box of tree trimmings and shook his head. "Somehow I doubt that this will be a source of amusement for either of us."

"And why is that?" Bobby asked as he tugged on a loose wire. The twisted strand would not move more than six inches.

The blue-furred scientist scowled as he reached into the box and pulled out a basketball-sized tangle of wires. Bobby dropped the strand he was holding and watched it swing from the electrical mess in Hank's hands.

"Um … oops?"

Hank groaned. This was going to be a very long day.

Two and a half hours later ...

Three hundred yards of wire stretched in rows across the bare floor, turning it into a garden of tiny, colored bulbs. Bobby, being Bobby, had inadvertently stumbled over a few of the strands and crunched several dozen lights in the process. He sat against the far wall as he screwed in the last few replacement bulbs.

"Done," he announced with a somewhat weary smile.

"Now for the final test." Hank held the plug poised above the wall outlet. "Keep your fingers crossed."

He plugged in the strand and watched as 1,800 lights danced to life on the floor. He grinned. At least something was going right today.

"Yes!" Bobby cheered, then suddenly stopped. "Um, are they supposed to be blinking like that?"

Hank paused for a second, then brushed the notion aside. "Who cares? They're working. That's what's important."

Bobby nodded in agreement. "OK, now comes the hard part." His smile faded as he looked over toward his friend. He realized that scowls looked even worse when the wearer had big, pointy canines.

"You mean that wasn't the hard part?"

"No, Hank, it wasn't. See? They're supposed to be on the tree. These are still on the floor."

Hank frowned and stared at the floor. If Bobby didn't know better he would have sworn that Hank was pouting.

"Perhaps we could start a new tradition this year?"

"You mean like having the Professor electrocute himself when his chair rolls over 2,000 volts?"

Hank sighed. He was getting a lot of practice doing that today, especially around Bobby. "Fine," he acquiesced as he gathered a strand of lights. "Then we'd better get started. I've got plans for April."

"Very funny."

Bobby grabbed Hank's arm as the blue-furred X-Man started to drape wire over the branches. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Ah, but you do have such a horrible short-term memory," Hank smirked. "The lights go on the tree, remember?"

"Yeah, but you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to start at the top."

"Why?"

"Because." Bobby searched his memory for a reason but came up empty. "Because ... because you just do."

"Says who?" Hank was enjoying watching Bobby squirm. Served him right for dragging them both into this mess.

"It's it's ... the law."

"Do you mean to tell me that there are laws regarding the proper ways to string lights on a tree in your living room?"

"I, uh ..." Bobby looked to Hank like a reindeer caught in headlights. "What I mean is ... Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Jingle all the waaaay!"

"OW! All right! You win." Hank didn't know whether to laugh or cry as he pulled his hands from his ears. "We'll start them at the top. Just don't sing anymore. Please!"

They looked up at the top of the tree. "So how do we do this?" Hank asked.

"I have an idea."

"Oh dear."

"OK, stand back."

Hank watched nervously as Bobby fashioned one end of the wire into a lasso and tossed it toward the top of the tree - and missed. He managed to close his eyes right before the strand of bulbs whacked him in the face.

The scientist rubbed his stinging brow. "Bobby, don't you think we should -"

"Hang on. Almost got it." Bobby tossed the wire again, this time managing to catch the upper branches.

"I still think it would be much easier to --"

"I got it, Hank. See?" He tugged on the other end of the wire, trying to get the lights to rest on the branch immediately below it. The wire didn't budge.

Hank backed up a few steps. "Bobby, I don't think that this is the best plan of action."

"It's just a little snag in the line." He lifted his arm to change the angle of the wire. "All I have to do is pull on this and ..."

"No!" Hank warned as he saw the tree tipping, but it was too late. Bobby jumped out of the way of the crashing branches just in time to see Hank get pinned to the floor underneath the trunk. Green needles scattered across the floor and over Bobby's feet.

"Uh, Hank? You OK?" Bobby asked timidly. He was going to owe Hank big for this and they both knew it.

A muffled groan came from underneath the fallen fir. "It appears as though I lack the corporeal fortitude to withstand the effects that gravity has upon this arboreal foe."

Bobby furrowed his brow in thought. "Translation?"

"Ow."

Three hours later ...

Thousands of lights twinkled in harmony on the giant tree as two very tired workers looked on in awe.

"I have to admit it looks ... nice," Hank said with a wry smile.

"Nice? I think it looks fantastic!" Bobby's somewhat idiotic grin had returned. "Admit it, Hank, we did a great job with this." He gave the older X-Man a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Sorry about that tree falling over thing."

Hank shook his head in mock disgust. "Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to wash all of that sap out of my fir? I'll be in the tub for hours."

He looked up at the dancing lights and felt a sense of pride in what they had accomplished. Sure, he was dirty and sticky and just plain exhausted, but he was also strangely happy. It was the first time in months he had taken a break from his lab, and at least as long since he had gotten to spend any time with his best friend.

"Maybe that was his motivation all along," Hank mused to himself. He had to admit he did have fun, in a managing-to-survive-a-disaster-with-your-friends kind of way. Bobby had been right after all.

Of course he'd never let Bobby know that. He needed to have something to hold over his head.

"I guess you can go back to your lab now, if you want." Bobby flopped on the couch near the tree.

Hank thought for a minute. "No, I think I'll stay here for awhile," he said as he perched on the opposite arm of the couch. After all, he'd earned a break, hadn't he?

"Cool. Uh, Hank?"

"Hmm?"

Bobby looked at the patches of pine needles and sap on the other side of the couch. "Maybe you should take that bath first."