The Night Before Christmas
(Gen X style)
By Jenni
DISCLAIMER:
I don't own Generation X or the original Night Before
Christmas story. This is a joke on the old traditional poem, so a lot
of the lines have been drastically altered. Happy holidays!!
T'was the the night before Christmas, and all through the dorms
Not a student was stirring, quite diff from the norm.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes Santa would stuff them when he came there.
The students were nestled all snug in their beds,
while dreams of games and cds danced in their heads.
And Emma in her *secrets* and Sean in his cap
all settled down for a calm winter's nap.
When o'er the Mad River arose such a clatter
Emma sprang all from sleep to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Sean flew like a flash,
flew threw the window, broke apart the sash.
The moon glimmered on the constant 7 month long snow
making objects below appear to glow.
When to all's surprise should appear,
but a teeny tiny sleigh, and 8 tiny reindeer.
With a geezer like driver, oddly lively and quick,
Most accepted at once that it def was St. Nick ('cept for Monet and Jono).
Quicker than jets, his deer came
and he whistled and shouted, calling each by name;
"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet! On Cupid! On Donder and Blitzen! (Yep, Donder, I checked ...)
To the top of the garage! Over the gate wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they'd meet with an obstacle, soar into the sky,
so up to the mansion roof the reindeer flew,
with the sled full of toys, and Santa too.
Then, in an instant, students heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each hoof.
As the students ran to the living room, and gathered around,
Down the chimney came Santa, in with a bound.
He was dressed all in faux fur (non-cruelty to animals), from head to foot,
and all of his clothes were ruined with soot.
Emma spoke, "I told you to clean the chimney out Sean!"
"Yeah, but you told me at the same time to shovel near the back lawn."
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
and looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
"Hey Santa, Amigo, what's for me in the sack."
Then Jubilee hit Angelo hard with a smack.
Santa's eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard, aside from cookie crumbs, was white as snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke from it circled his head like a wreath.
Now Monet, who always was proper and upright, simply said;
"Santa, smoking in the house is not couth or right."
He had a broad face and a round little belly,
that shook like a boul full of jelly,
as he watched Monet and Jubilee fight,
about if Santa's smoking in the mansion was right.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
told all of them they had nothing to dread.
Of course they had no reason to have fear,
after all, they were the super powered mutants there.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and set out the presents, then turned with a jerk,
for Lee, Ev, and Paige could not hold in
their curiosity and had been crowding him.
And so laying his finger on the side of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
Leech and Artie ran and their gifts they shook,
while Jonothon, Monet, and Angelo ran to the window to look.
Santa sped off in his sleigh, giving his deer a whistle,
they flew away like the down of a thistle,
Yet they all heard him explain as he drove out of site,
"Merry Christmas Generation X, to you all a good night.
THE END
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