Still Here
Part Two: Dead Man's New Year

By Maria Cline

DISCLAIMER: Okay, this fic contains spoilers for those who haven't read X-Men #97. Now, this story is the result of message board theories about Scott having a plan. All characters are property of Marvel Comics and used without their permission. Sascha Morgan gave me the idea for the fic title.


Can you hear me?

I'm sorry if it looks like I left you. I know that you missed me. If I can just touch those cheeks, I could wipe away the tears.

This is New Year's Eve. In a few minutes, the beginning of the third millenium will start and I will spend it with you. Even if you don't know it.

Why must everyone be so solemn? I can hear the silent prayers sent to me, under the cheers and hope. Maybe, I can return from where I am.

Jean, do you remember when we spent twelve years in the future with Nathan? You looked so different, but you still looked so beautiful. I still wonder how he recognized us. Remind me to ask him when I come back.

Can you hear my voice? Can you feel my hand trying to wipe away those tears? Can you see my own tears?

Look around you, Jean. So many people feel almost as much pain as you do. They grieve for me. I won't be forgotten.

Live for me. Just enjoy the party for me. Excuse me, I have to go to Nathan.

Hello, son.

We never had a good moment together without us saving the world. Thank you for destroying him for me. I was going to repossess that body, but it was destroyed. I know that you could sense me in there and you still did it.

Don't feel so guilty. You finally completed your mission. You can still have a purpose in this lifetime. You still have a long life ahead of you. You can still fight for the dream for me, after all, I'm unavailable right now.

I know you wanted to be the one to die instead of me. I know that you expected me to be the mourner and not the mournee. I could see your invisible tears, don't cry for me. I love you, you know that. If it weren't for the fact that I can't touch you, I would hug you right now.

That's it. Go to Jean. She is your mother despite the fact that she was trapped in the bottom of the ocean when you were born.

Professor, why are you so stubborn in hiding your sorrow? I still love you, sir. I know that I had been acting more independently lately. I wanted to live a life away from you. X-Men die and sometimes they come back.

Just be greatful that everyone else is still alive and well. Logan's not dead and Warren isn't Death. Yes, just lift your wine glass.

Well, I hope that I can find a way to get Alex here or at least get him to be able to contact you. He’s flesh and blood and could be a great help for the team. I don’t know how I knew, but I do.

It's getting closer to midnight. Okay, everyone get out your noisemakers. No firing lasers indoors unless you can control it. Yes, I know you can't hear my orders, but old habits die hard.

Soon, the ball will drop and this millenium will end.

I'm here. Jean, you're smiling. Can you feel my hand going through your cheek? Trying to wipe the tears that are now drying up?

Do you want to know my New Year's resolution?

It's to kiss you some time next year.

Yes, you look so beautiful when you smile like that. Have I ever told you that? I always loved the way you smile like that. I know that the pain won’t go away, but you shouldn’t be so miserable for me. You know that I wouldn’t like to see you so sad.

Ten. Let me get close to you.

Nine. I want to hold you.

Eight. I can feel your soul.

Seven. No! Let me touch her.

Six. That’s it just stand there.

Five. That’s it smile.

Four. You look so radiant.

Three. I’m trying to hold you.

Two. Let me try to kiss you.

One.

Happy New Year! I love you.

Can you feel my kiss? I’m sorry you couldn’t.

At least you’re smiling, that much is always good to see.

Fin. For now.


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