DISCLAIMER: I don't own Generation X -- never have, probably never will. The characters in this fic belong to the nice folks at Marvel who wouldn't even think of suing little old me (I hope I hope I hope). Doesn't matter -- I'm not making any money off this anyway. Feedback is appreciated, but flames will be ignored. This fic is dedicated to my mom, who was the inspiration for the story, and for anyone else who has ever tried to teach his or her parents how to use the computer.

"I still don't understand why we have to do this," Monet St. Croix said to her fellow classmates in a voice that would have been a whine if not for her patrician upbringing. "I already know how to operate these machines -- and I do it quite well, if I may say so."

"No, you can't say so," Jubilation Lee mimicked as she cracked her ever-present pink bubble gum. The youngest member of Generation X stared blankly out the classroom window as she waited for their teacher to arrive.

"I wasn't speaking to you, Jubilation," Monet retorted.

"Whatever."

"Will both of you shut up?" Angelo Espinosa growled at the two girls. "If anyone should be complaining, it's me. How the Hell did we get stuck with this extra teaching session, anyway?"

"Hey, c'mon guys." The students turned to face Everett over on the side of the room. "Maybe it won't be that bad."

Paige approached the other students. "Everett's right. Mr. Cassidy would never ask us to do anything that we weren't capable of doing, right?"

"Chica, your out of your -- "

"SHHHHH!" The students' conversation halted abruptly as they heard footsteps and the turning of the doorknob. An involuntary shudder went through the group as Sean Cassidy entered the room.

"Alright, lads and lasses," Sean beamed. "Who's going to show me how to use the Internet?"

All fingers pointed to Monet.

"WHAT?!" she screeched, the shock of her classmates betrayal causing a momentary lapse in her usually dignified demeanor. "Why should I have to -- " her face reddened slightly as she saw Sean staring at her in disbelief. "What I meant, sir," she stammered, is that I would be honored to help you."

"Thank ye, Monet," Sean said as he walked over to one of the computers with his student in tow. Monet turned and stared daggers at her classmates, but quickly plastered a bright smile on her face as soon as Sean turned around.

"Well, I guess you don't need us hanging around anymore," Jubilee said as she hopped off the window ledge and headed for the door. Angelo and Jonothon Starsmore followed soon after.

"Not so fast, kids." The three students turned back to face their teacher. "I want ye all to be here just in case I need any extra help. All that stuff about teaching old dogs new tricks, and all."

Jubilee, Angelo and Jono trudged back to the group, which was now assembled in front of the computer around Sean and Monet.

"It won't be that bad," Everett reassured Jubilee as her put his arm around her shoulder.

Meanwhile, Sean's face was a mask of utter confusion as her stared at the startup screen. He scratched his head in apparent thought as he stared at the keyboard.

"Umm, I can't find the 'ANY' key."

Angelo groaned. Jubilee looked up at Everett and glared.

"You were saying?" she asked Everett.

Some time later ...

"Good, Mr. Cassidy, you finally started up the computer." Monet sighed as she glanced down at her wristwatch. Had it only been ten minutes? She felt as if it had been ten days. "Now I'll show you how to check your e-mail."

"Hey, would ya look at that!" Sean smiled at the computer desktop. "It's got all kinds of little pictures on it."

"Yes, sir, they're very nice. Now if you'll just move the mouse over here ..."

"Move my what?"

"The mouse," Monet repeated with all the patience she could muster. She held her breath and counted to ten as Sean searched the desk.

"Right here," Angelo said as he reached forward in his backward-turned chair, picked up the small piece of equipment and dropped it in his teacher's hand.

"Thanks, lad," Sean said, but Angelo had already drooped his arms over the chair back and rested his head. Monet noticed that Angelo's grey skin had begun to droop a bit, just as it always did when he was forced to focus his concentration elsewhere. The thought of her teammate's mutant power gave her an idea for escape.

"Now what do I do?" Sean looked up at her, his pathetically hopeless expression indicating his dire need for assistance.

"Excuse me a moment, Mr. Cassidy," Monet said as she closed her eyes and feigned concentration. The silence of the moment was so peaceful that she was tempted to stay that way forever. She paused a few seconds before opening her eyes. "I'm sorry, sir, but Ms. Frost just informed me that she needs to see me right away. I'm afraid I won't be able to continue your lesson."

"'Tis alright, lass," Sean said. "I still have plenty of other teachers around, right kids?" Monet, however, was not around to hear him, as she had flown out of the room before anyone could react.

"Angelo!" Sean practically shouted, waking up his sleeping student.

"Whaa? Where's Monet?"

"She had to leave. But I'm sure that you'll be just as fine a teacher as she was."

Paige pulled Jono over toward the window, just out of earshot. "Jono, Ah'm gettin' a bit worried. Ah don't like where this is goin'," she whispered, not bothering to conceal her Southern accent.

~ I know, gel, ~ Jono replied. ~ I would've known if Emma had really called Monet. She just wanted to get out of here ... ~ Jono looked back over his shoulder at Sean. ~ And I'm startin' to think she had the right idea. ~

Meanwhile, Angelo was becoming increasingly frustrated as he tried to explain the workings of the computer.

"OK, now double click on the icon --"

"What's an icon?"

"This thing," Angelo said, pointing at the screen.

"What thing?"

"The thing under my finger!"

"Oh, the little picture. Why didn't you say so."

Angelo gritted his teeth as Sean just sat motionless in the chair.

"Now how do I double click?"

"That would be clicking twice, seņor." Angelo watched as Sean pressed the button at a leisurely pace. He shook his head. "No, you have to do it faster than that!" He nodded as Sean tried again. "Better."

"Hey, how come I only have to click once for those other things?" Sean inquired.

"Those things on the grey bar? Because they're buttons."

"But they have pictures on them. Why aren't they icons?"

"Because they're buttons." Angelo grabbed his head. He could feel another migraine coming on. Though his headaches were becoming less frequent as he practiced his mutant ability, they still surfaced whenever he was strained or trying to concentrate. Why did he have to get a migraine now?

Angelo perked up suddenly. Oh, sweet, wonderful, agonizing pain! There was no way that Sean would force him to continue teaching with a migraine. He realized that his sudden torture would be his "Get out of Jail Free" ticket.

"Ohhhhhh," he groaned, exaggerating his pain in order to garner some sympathy for his current condition.

"What is it, Angelo," Sean asked, his voice full of concern.

"Sorry, Seņor Cassidy, but I'm getting another migraine. I'd better go lay down or something."

"Alright, lad, you'd better head over to the med lab for awhile."

"Thanks. Ohhhhh ..." Angelo continued his performance all the way down the hall -- or at least until he was out of earshot.

"Paige? Do you think you could come over here and show me how to get on the Internet?"

Paige responded with her impression of a deer caught in headlights. "Ah, Ah ..." she stammered, unsure of what to say. She turned around, hoping that Jono would be able to come up with some excuse to get her out of this mess. To her dismay, she saw that Jono had climbed out the open window while everyone's attention had been focussed on Angelo. At that moment, he was racing across the quad, screaming something about being "free at last."

Paige looked at her classmates for help. Jubilee just looked innocent and kept popping her gum. Everett was suddenly very interested in a piece of chalk that had been crushed under someone's foot near the blackboard.

"Paige?"

The young blonde sighed. "Coming, sir."

Two hours later ...

"NO! Don't touch that!"

Sean looked up after he had pushed the button. "Why not?"

Everett folded his arms on the desk in front of him and banged his head softly on the desk a couple of times before looking up. A whole afternoon's work gone to waste. "Because you just erased your entire outgoing message."

"Oh. How do I get it back?"

"You can't. Unless you save the message, you can't get it back after it's deleted."

"Not at all?"

"No. It's gone for good."

"But I worked so hard on it."

Everett, the most level-headed, easy-going member of Generation X, was about three seconds away from having his head explode. Give or take a minute. He looked over toward the corner of the room. Paige was laying in the fetal position, sucking her thumb with her arms wrapped around her legs. Jubilee, now in hysterics, was seated by the window ledge, laughing and crying simultaneously as she babbled incoherently.

"No offense, sir, but I told you not to push the power switch." Everett was about ready to cry himself. Why couldn't he have been captured by one of those nice, evil mutants? It would have been so much more relaxing.

"Nonsense. You can find that file for me, can't you, Everett?"

Just as the young mutant was about to snap, headmistress Emma Frost walked into the classroom.

"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded of Sean. "Jono and Monet told me you were torturing the rest of the children. I would have been here sooner, but the poor kids were so traumatized that it took me this long to pry the information out of them."

"EMMA!" Paige and Jubilee screamed in unison as they flew across the room and attached themselves to her legs.

"Please help us, ma'am!" Paige begged.

Jubilee sniffed. "Yeah, Frosty! Make the bad man go away!"

Emma looked at the two girls clinging to her boots, then glanced across the room toward Everett, who looked as if he were about to pass out.

She cleared her throat. "Children, you are excused for the rest of the day." They shot out of the room in a blur, nearly knocking Emma off her feet in the process.

She marched over to Sean, glaring at him as he shifted uncomfortably under her intense gaze. "Emma! Good ta see you, lass. The children were just showing me how to use the Internet ..."

His words were cut off as Emma released a psi-wave that paralyzed his mind. In the meantime, Emma picked up the computer, ripped the cord out of the wall and hefted the machine out of the window -- but not before she planted the thought in Sean's head that he was never, EVER to touch a computer again as long as he was at the school.

Emma shook her head as she shut off the lights and turned to look at Sean, who wore an expression of pure content as he drooled on the desk.

It was bad enough teaching a roomful of teen-agers, she mused, but teaching Sean was pure hell.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I want to thank my mom for having such a good sense of humor about his story, considering she drove me into a similar fit of temporary insanity a few weeks back during an impromptu computer tutorial. Mom, this is the part where you click on the link to another page. The links. Those are the little colored words with the lines underneath. NO! The ones at the bottom of the screen. What do you mean, where? You're looking right at them! Wha-- no! Leave the back button alone. (*SIGH*) Just forget it.