Never Judge a Book By Its Cover
Chapter 19
Brian and I stayed in touch like we had promised for about 3 months. After three months we got to talking and he broke up with me. I guess I could sort of understand, you know, him being a guy and all. Guys couldn't seem to live without the touchy side of a relationship. We vowed to be friends and to stay in touch, but slowly we grew farther and farther apart. He started dating his ex-girlfriend, Leighanne again and whenever we would talk he always seemed really happy. I tried my hardest to be happy for him, but it still hurt when he would tell me about what they had done together. Soon the phone calls and the letters stopped. It was like he didn't even care anymore. I just figured "Well if he doesn't give a shit, then neither do I." I was happy living in my dorm with my room mate Lillian who reminded me a lot of Erika. Erika had moved down to Florida to live with Nick. Our relationship seemed to end too. I dated a little here and there. Nothing to seriously.
I sat on my bed in my dorm thinking of Brian. It was only at certain times when I thought of Brian. Now was one of those times. I sat with my knees against my chest staring out the window at the night sky. I wondered what he was doing right then. I wanted to call him and tell him that I hadn't forgotten about him, but I knew he probably didn't even know who I was anymore. As I sat thinking of what that short time had been like, tears ran down my face. Why couldn't I be happy and move on like he had? There was something holding me back from that. It had only been 3 months and he already had gotten over it. I just couldn't let go. I laid back on my back and stared at the ceiling. I laid there thinking what things would be like if i had moved there like he wanted me too. Would we still be together? Maybe it was fate. Maybe we really weren't made for each other like I thought. I wanted so badly to be able to just hold him just one more time, but I knew that was impossible. I heard my bedroom door open and my room mate, Lillian walk in and sit next to me.
"The new issue of "Entertainment Weekly" came," she said handing it to me. That was my favorite thing to read. She was obviously trying to get me to perk up a little bit.
"Thanks," I said dropping it on the floor next to my bed.
"I think you should just call him."
"Why do you always just jump to the conclusion that he is what I'm thinking about?"
"Because whenever you get in sad moods like this and I ask you what's wrong you always tell me that you're thinking about him."
"Well once again, you're right. I just don't know what to do."
"Call him."
"No! I can't. He's got his own life now, he doesn't need me coming in and ruining that for him."
"He has to be going through the same thing that you are if you were in love with each other as much as I can imagine."
"He's not, though. I know he's not. He's with another girl. He's already over me."
"Well does that Erika girl still hang out with him?"
"Most likely. I mean she's dating his best friend."
"Then call her, and ask her how he's been."
"I haven't talked to her in so long. I wouldn't know what to say to her."
"We've been through this a million times. Just call," said Lillian grabbing my cordless phone off my nightstand and handing it to me. I looked down at the phone in my hand.
"You know what? You're right! I just need to know if he still cares at least. I'll call Erika first though, just to make sure this is the right thing to do."
"Good! I'll leave you alone!" Lillian got up and walked out of my room closing the door behind her. I looked at the phone. More like stared at it. I was giving myself a mental pep talk. Why was it so hard to call Erika? I'd known her forever! Why was I stalling? I grabbed the magazine off my floor, hoping to find something to talk to her about. When I saw the cover I almost fell off my bed. There were the Backstreet Boys staring back at me. That gave me even more strength to pick up the phone and call. I picked it up and punched in Erika and Nick's phone number.
"Hello?" asked Nick after the 2nd ring. He was yelling over the load music in the background. It sounded like they were having a party.
"Hi Nick. Is Erika around?"
"Yeah. Who is this?"
"Kaitlyn."
"Oh hey Kate! We were just talking about you the other day. How ya been?" Talking about me? Good stuff, I hope.
"Pretty good. How about you?"
"Great! You know, Brian hasn't forgotten about you, if that's what you're calling about." How did he know? Great! Now what was I supposed to say. "Actually that is why I was calling because I'm a loser who doesn't know how to let things go?" No. I had to come up with a good reason, and fast.
"Yeah, I haven't forgotten about him, either, but that's not why I called. I called to say, uh, congratulations! I got my copy of "Entertainment Weekly" today and was pleasantly surprised!"
"Oh yeah! Thanks! That's why we're having this party tonight if you can hear it," he said. He took the phone away from his ear and held it up so I could hear the party.
"Sounds like you're having fun."
"We are! You should come down sometime. Ya know, see the apartment, hang out, party, see Brian, meet Leigh-" He stopped himself from mentioning Leighanne. "Meet Kev's girlfriend."
"Yeah, that'd be fun! I'll see about it."
"Cool. Anyway, I'll go find Erika for ya, hold on a sec!"
"Alright! Talk to you later!"
"Yeah! Bye!" He put the phone down and went to find Erika. A couple minutes later Erika picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Erika! It's Kaitlyn! Remember me?"
"Oh my God! Kaitlyn, hi! It's been so long since I talked to you last! How ya been?"
"Pretty...lousy. I'm so bored here. And...and...I miss everyone down there so much. Nothing's even the same anymore and I hate my new life. I miss Brian something fierce. How is he?"
"He's pretty good. In fact, he's here, wanna talk to him?"
"Not yet. I'm still not ready. How's AJ and Jenn?"
"Same as they were when you were here. Ya know, all over each other. They live together now in an apartment down the hall from ours."
"Wow! That's great! How about Kevin and Howie?"
"Kevin's dating a girl named Farrah and Howie's still dating around. Right now he's with some girl named Alexis. They just started going out yesterday. Farrah and Alexis are both really nice. How about you? Any new guys stealing your heart?"
"No one's done that for a while. I've been on like 2 dates since I was in Florida."
"We should talk about Brian for a second." I could hear the noise level drop and a door shut. She must have gone into another room.
"Okay."
"He still loves you."
"Yeah right! He's with that other girl now. He's over us."
"No really, Kaitlyn, he's not. He's only with Leighanne because she took advantage of him while he was depressed to get back into his life. She's the reason he stopped calling and writing to you. She wouldn't let him. I heard him and Nick talking about you the other night. I heard him crying, Kaitlyn. He has never cried like that before, except for when you were at the airport. He's just as confused as you are." I was speechless. I held his "B-Rok" necklace that he had given to me tightly in my hand. I felt a single tear run down my face.
"Can I talk to him?" I said weakly.
"Sure," she said in a surprised tone. "Let me go find him." She put the phone down and I pep talked myself again. I wanted him to at least know that I still loved him, too. I had to make sure he knew that. My palms started sweating. I had never been nervous when it came to Brian, but this time was different. I heard someone messing with the phone.
"Hello?" he asked in his normal cheerful tone. My heart did flip-flops.
-=Chapter Twenty=-
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