Liz was sitting in the living room talking to Veronica, Jenny and Trace while they casually watched MTV. They were anxious to see how it would go for the guys and Liz also needed to see how the girls were doing. She felt a few tears come to her eyes when the girls first walked into the house. Veronica held herself better than expected but Jenny just lost it.
She had ran up to Liz, threw her arms around her and cried into her shoulder. She couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to. Liz fought back the tears herself but was so touched that someone cared that dearly for her.
She hugged Trace as well and as her fingers touched his own curly hair, she couldn't help but picture Justin. The way her hand would instinctively go straight to his wild mane and her fingers would slide into their spot as he held her to him. She could feel his breath on her body as their heads would lie next to one another and she would melt under his touch every time.
"Hey Liz, when's Justin getting back?" Trace asked, bringing her out of her constant daydreams. She had been doing that a lot lately.
"Oh, Lynn said he'd be here in time for the show." She replied as he got more comfortable on the couch by spreading his legs out.
He bumped Liz with his legs and Jenny snapped at him. "Trace, move off of her." Liz just waved to her to signal that he was fine. "No he's not. There's plenty of space in this chair with me or the floor. He doesn't have to prop his feet up on you." She said, annoyed that her boyfriend could be so insensitive.
"Jenny, its okay. I don't mind. It actually makes me feel better when you guys treat me normal. Please, Trace put your feet on me." She stated as she motioned with her hands for him to oblige.
He took a glance at Jenny, who still didn't like the idea but when Liz's eyes pleaded with him to do as she wished, he consented and slowly brought his legs back up and let his feet rest on Liz's lap. She smiled contently at him, but then crinkled up her nose. "Dang, if I would have known your feet stunk this much, I wouldn't have offered." She said as he started to removed them but she held tight. "I was just kidding."
He laughed at her, they all did, thankful that through these past few weeks she hadn't lost her sense of humor.
The group continued to chitchat about nonsense for awhile until they heard the door shut and talking in the hall. They all turned their heads to see Justin, Joey and Lance come parading into the living room and stop dead in their tracks. "Um, hi." Justin said as he noticed the small group. He didn't expect to see anyone here.
Trace saw his friend's confused look and simply smiled at him. "Hey J, we thought we'd come over here and keep Liz company since your ass wasn't here to do it."
Now he didn't know that Justin was having a hard time with Liz – he hadn't told anyone and had hid it from everyone but Liz and Lynn. Justin shifted nervously in his place and glanced at Liz to see if Trace's statement made her upset. Her eyes slid to him for merely a second before turning her head back around and she looked at the TV.
"Um, the shows starting." She said as the others shrugged off Trace's comment and found their way into the room to settle down and watch TRL.
Justin stayed back, seeing that his friends seemed to have no problem with Liz. He had felt the same way until this past week and he had seen her at her lowest. They had no idea what had happened. But they did see her now, face worn out, body frail and all around changed self.
"Yo J, are you gonna sit or not?" Joey asked as he slapped the spot beside him on the floor.
Justin snapped out of it and sheepishly grinned as he made his way through the room and over to his friend but Trace caught him. "Hey, sit here." He said as he pulled his feet off Liz and sat up so Justin could squeeze between the two.
Justin looked at Liz who tenderly smiled at him and he accepted the offer. He slowly sat down a little closer to Liz than Trace and he glanced at her before settling his eyes on the TV screen.
TRL started but the guys knew that JC and Chris wouldn't be on for a while. They would come out sometime around the forth or fifth video on the countdown so they would be there when their video was played. 'Nsync was never above three or four so they were fairly certain with this knowledge.
The group now watched the show, talking about what they had all done recently, keeping Liz up to date with their lives. They asked her several times how her week had gone and when they did, she would see Justin tense up so she chose to reply with a simple 'I'm just glad it's over.' The others seemed to take that as her final answer and didn't discuss it further.
Finally, it was time for JC and Chris to come out and the small group crept closer to the screen, each one praying that the world would believe what they were going to say.
"Welcome back. I am Carson, your host and with me today are two of the members of YOUR favorite group – and mine. Please give it up for JC and Chris of 'Nsync."
They watched as the two of them came bounding down the line of people that had gathered in the small studio to see their idols. They started off talking about how they were doing, then cut to the next video. When it was over, Carson began his conversation with them.
"So, we're all wondering why the others aren't here today. What's up with that?" He asked as the two gave the crowd and the people at home convincing smiles.
"Well…" JC started. "We're here in New York doing some solo projects. I'm working with this new group on some songs for their next album and Chris is doing some stuff with Child Watch. He's really big into that organization so that's why we're here."
"Yeah, 'Nsync is still going strong but we thought with all the touring and stuff that we've done that we needed a break so we're all catching up with our other projects right now." Chris added.
"Yeah, I think Lance is setting up to spend some time with his artists and getting their recordings underway so they can get their own CD's out soon. Joey's working on a couple of projects back home, as is Justin. So the group is doing great. We just needed a little break." JC informed everyone, much to his surprise – they all took it quite well.
"Hey guys, I'm glad to see that you're getting the much needed rest you all deserve, especially with Justin being sick. I heard that you had to cancel a few shows over in Europe a few weeks ago. How's he doing now?" Carson asked, not knowing the truth behind Justin's illness.
"Oh that, well Justin was just faking it cause he missed his mommy." Chris jumped in before JC could comment on it.
Justin nearly peed his pants when he heard Chris say that he was faking. He then heard the audience laugh at the mommy line and he settled down a bit. He tensed back up when he felt a hand on his and looked at Liz. "It's okay, he was just kidding." She reassured him as her hand tapped the top of his.
He saw her smile, it wasn't as bright as it had been in the past, but it was there and he could tell that she was only trying to help. He returned the favor by moving his hand around and latching it with hers, an act he hadn't done for awhile and immediately felt at ease with the touch of her hand.
"Well, guys, I would like to thank you both for taking the time out of your not so busy schedule now and joining us today. Tell the others we wish them well and don't stay away too long." Carson told the pair then announced the number one video of the day and the TV faded into the song.
Joey was the first to speak up. "Thank you JC. Man, I was worried there for awhile that Chris would blow it but it looks like everything's gonna be fine. Aren't you glad J?" He said, turning his head and looking back at Justin.
He simply nodded his head and brought Liz's hand up to kiss the back of it. "Yeah I am Joe. They did just fine."
Liz smiled happily at him. He seemed much more relaxed now that she was feeling better and the guys had done a good job at covering up the real reason for the group's sudden break. She still didn't like that Justin had done that but sitting beside him, holding his hand and seeing his smile return, was enough for her. She wouldn't question him again.
"Hey who's up for pizza?" Lance announced as a round of 'yes' came from the room with one 'no' then Liz standing up to leave. "Was it something I said?" He asked again but just received shrugged shoulders from the others.
Justin excused himself to go check on Liz who had managed to make it to the bathroom before she let it all out. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked as he came into the room to find her seated on the edge of the bathtub with her head in her hands.
She looked up at him and gave him a grin like she still had something in her mouth. "Um, yeah just the mention of food and…you know." She said, pointing to the toilet.
Justin came up and sat beside her on the tub. He put his hand on her back and began to move it in circular motions to calm her. "I thought you felt better today. What happened?" He asked, not understanding where her sudden stomach ache came from.
She kept her hands around her head but moaned as he hit just the right spot on her back. "Justin, this is just part of it. I may feel good one minute but the next, I could be in here. It comes and goes. I can't control it."
He felt the tension building back up inside but willed it away. He had to keep it at bay for her sake. She couldn't see him upset now. "Oh, well are you okay enough to go back downstairs or should I tell everybody that you're sleeping?"
She lifted her head to look at him. "Tell them that I'm sorry but I think I need to lie down."
He nodded in agreement and watched as she put her hand on his shoulder to help her balance herself when she stood up. She had to step closer to him because she was about to fall but he reached up and placed his hands on her hips to steady her. Before she could thank him, he stood up and brought her with him.
He literally swept her off her feet and carried her back into her room to put her in bed. He freed one hand and pulled back the covers as he gently laid her down on the soft bed. She slid her body under the yellow sheets and snuggled tight against her pillow. She looked up at him and smiled lazily as her eyes began to close.
Justin watched her body breathe heavily and waited until her eyes were completely shut before he walked out of the room. He wasn't sure if he should say something else to her, lean down and kiss her or just leave. He opted for the latter but felt that that was the wrong choice. All it would have taken was two seconds to let her know that he cared but he didn't. He just walked out.
He returned to the others in the kitchen. The group stopped talking the minute they heard Justin reenter. They thought he would have Liz with him and wanted to know if she was okay. "Hey, where's Lizzy?" Veronica asked as she saw Justin walk in alone.
He just shrugged and took a seat beside Jenny at the table. "She's upstairs sleeping." That was all he said. The others could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes and knew to leave it alone – for now.
Later that night, Lynn had come home and the guys, along with Jenny and Veronica, had gone home themselves. The girls were doing an appearance the next day in Tampa so Lynn told Jenny and Veronica to rest up and she would see them in the morning.
The guys left as well, only after Justin said he was too tired to go out with them. He needed to get some things straight in his head and dancing the night away at some club while Liz lay upstairs in his house, was not going to do it.
"Honey, are you okay?" Lynn asked, coming up from behind him and hugging his waist.
He grabbed a hold of her hands and gave them a little squeeze before pulling out of her hold. "Yeah, just tired. I'm going to bed now. Good night."
Lynn watched her son walk solemnly out of the room and up the stairs. She knew something was wrong with him and had a gut feeling that Liz was involved. She had seen the discomfort in his eyes when he was around her. She heard his unemotional words and his almost complete withdrawal from her. LIZ had to instigate anything that happened, whether it was talking, a hug or just a smile out of him and Lynn was worried how much more he could take.
Liz had so many more months of this and one week was enough to break her son. She didn't know if Liz wasn't the only one struggling here. They were both fighting battles from within – but the difference was that Liz had no say in her battle but Justin did. He brought this upon himself and she wondered if he hadn't thought about it long enough.
He had NO idea what was going to happen.
Suddenly she heard a scream from upstairs and without missing a beat, she ran to see what was wrong. She hurried down the hallway and found Liz's bedroom door wide open. She crept inside and saw the light to her bathroom on but the door shut and Justin on the outside banging for her to let him in.
"Ebby, what's wrong? Sweetheart, please talk to me. What is going on?" He pleaded as he laid his head on the door.
"What happened?" Lynn asked as she came into the room. She placed a hand on his shoulder but he only shrugged it off.
"I don't know. I heard her scream but by the time I made it in here, the door was shut. And I can't get her to come out…Ebby, please." He finished and banged on the door again.
Lynn held her hand up to him to stop and listen. They both brought their ears up to the door and could hear something clicking inside. They recognized the sound and that made Justin bang harder. "Ebby, open the damn door NOW!" He yelled into the wooden object as he jiggled the handle. "This isn't funny. Open the door."
Lynn tried to help out, but didn't yell like her son was doing. "Elizabeth, please open up. Dear we know what you're going through. Just open up. We can help." Lynn started but the door suddenly swung open revealing a very irritated and upset Liz.
"You know what I'm going through? You think you can help?" She said to the two of them, raising her voice with every word. "What the hell do you know about this?" She yelled as she held a pair of scissors in one hand and a chunk of hair in the other.
This was it – the thing that would let the world know that she had cancer. Before she could hide it from everyone if she wished but not anymore. Her physical appearance had now taken a turn and by the look in Justin's eyes, Lynn knew this was his break point