A few days had past since Liz got news of what was wrong with her. She still hadn't spoken to Justin about it and asked Lynn not to say a word either. She needed time to get things straight in her head and make a few visits to the hospital before she would even think about involving Justin in this matter.
She knew he would be hurt when he found out that she had left him in the dark and even convinced his own mother to do the same. He was too busy overseas to be worrying about something he had no control over so Liz chose to keep this from him for now.
She had successfully avoided the phone conversation she knew she would have to have by emailing him back and forth. She told him that she was doing fine but was very busy and didn't know when she would be home to get a call from him. She had to thank the powers that be for talking her out of buying a cell phone this past week. She was so close to getting one but if she had, then Justin would have easily been able to track her down.
Also, she had instructed the lady taking her calls at work to tell anyone who called that she was out of the office and nothing else, even Justin. She didn't inform anyone that she would be taking some time off. Lynn knew that she had to have a break so she could concentrate on herself and not work. She still attended school the past few days, struggling not to cry for most of the time she was there but had managed to at least go.
She had spoken to another doctor yesterday and he concluded with Dr. Cannon that she indeed needed to be checked into the hospital for the one test that would show the extent of her illness. The only problem was that the earliest she could get in would be on Monday, and Lynn would be gone out of town with the girls for two weeks. She had wanted Lynn to come with her for the test but knew she wouldn't be able to now.
Liz worried that she would have to either go it alone or tell someone – but who? She couldn't tell one of the girls, they would all find out then it would leak to Justin, and she really didn't have anyone else in town that she trusted enough with this secret. She was at a crossroads. The only other person in this world that she trusted was living with the one person who she wished she could rely on but couldn't. She knew if she called her father, he would tell her mom and then who knows what would happen.
She didn't want her family worried about her until she had everything confirmed. She was afraid that they would ship her home to be with them and that was not what she wanted. She wanted to stay in Florida where she felt at ease and deal with this here, among friends and not her family. She hated the fact that she didn't feel comfortable at home but she just didn't.
She had been thinking about that when her doorbell rang. She casually walked to the front door and peeked through the peephole. She smiled at the site of the person on the other side. She unlocked the door and swung it open. The one person who understood what she was going through was waiting on the other side with her arms full of groceries.
"Lynn, why on earth did you buy all of that?" Liz asked, just shaking her head at her boss and now co-conspirator.
Lynn shrugged her shoulders and asked to come inside the apartment. Liz moved out of the way so she could enter. Lynn walked into the kitchen and began putting away the groceries. Liz saw that she had bought bread, milk, about a dozen different kinds of juices, her favorite pop tarts, apples, bananas, and every other healthy fruit or vegetable that the grocery store must have had.
"Um, Lynn, I haven't been hungry in weeks, how am I suppose to eat and drink all of that?" She asked, coming up to the bar and sitting on a stool. She leaned herself over on her elbows and let out a sigh. She hadn't thought about her problems for all of two minutes and it actually felt good.
Lynn turned around from washing some grapes in the sink and eyed her carefully. "Are you feeling okay?" She asked when she saw the pale look on Liz's face.
She just nodded her head and placed it in between her hands. "Yeah, just a little tired."
Lynn stopped what she was doing and came up to Liz. She wiped her hands on a towel then brought them up to her forehead. "Honey, you feel hot. Do you need to lie down or something?" She asked, stepping out of friend/boss mode and into mother mode.
Liz just raised her head and told her no. "Nah, I took some Tylenol a few minutes before you came. I just haven't been myself today."
That was an understatement.
"Elizabeth, here come with me." Lynn said as she motioned with her hands for Liz to stand up.
She did as she was instructed and followed Lynn down the hall and into her own bedroom. She smiled tenderly when she saw Lynn walk over to her bed and pull back the covers to point Liz to lie down. She took the hint to not argue and did as she was told.
When her body slid underneath the covers, she lifted her head to thank Lynn. "Elizabeth, no need to thank me. I wanted to talk to you about a few things, that's why I came over. And I got you all that food because whether you feel like eating or not, you need to keep your strength up, doctor's orders. Now listen, before you say anything, I just want you to know that whatever you need, it's yours, okay?"
Liz snuggled up to her pillow and nodded her head as she started to close her eyes and doze off. Just having Lynn there with her made her feel at ease.
Lynn smiled warmly at the young woman in bed. "Now, saying that, I have arranged for Shey to travel with the girls next week so I can stay here and go to the hospital with you." She began but Liz popped her eyes open and sat straight up when she heard that one.
"Lynn you can't miss this. The girls are counting on you to be there and if you're not, then they will be devastated…or will find out about me." She finished almost in a whisper. She loved the girls dearly but didn't want them involved unless they had to be.
Lynn shifted her weight on the bed and came a little closer to Liz. She put her hands on her shoulders to force her to lie back down. "Elizabeth, let me handle the girls. As for you, I just said that whatever you need, it's yours and you need someone with you next week. I'm not about to let you go through this alone. Your family doesn't know, Justin doesn't know, no one else is here to be with you so I'm gonna be there. Now, I've made my mind up and I don't want to hear another word about it. I'll be with you at the hospital on Monday then will fly out to Colorado on Thursday morning to be with the girls."
Liz felt the tears brimming in her eyes and willed them not to fall. She had never known anyone like Lynn Harless. She was the most caring person around and Liz realized that Justin's compassion came straight from his mother.
But it also made her sad. She wanted more than anything to have someone like Lynn be there for her. She wanted her own mother to care enough about her and give up anything for her. She just didn't understand how her mom could turn her back on her simply because she had chosen to do something different in her own life.
Liz shook her head, trying to get those thoughts out of her mind. Her mother would find out soon enough but right now, she had to rejoice in the knowledge that Lynn would be by her side on Monday. A day that would decide Liz's fate.
"Hello dear, how are you feeling?" Lynn asked as she crept closer to Liz's tired form.
She slowly shifted in the uncomfortable bed and tried to sit up but was stopped when she felt dizzy and had to lay back down. She placed her hands on her head to stop it from throbbing and felt the plastic cords that were attached to her hands.
She brought them away from her head and looked curiously at the bands. She struggled to figure out where she was and how she had gotten there. Lynn could see her struggle and approached her to explain things.
"Elizabeth, you're in the hospital, remember?" She asked, trying not to scare the poor girl but knowing that she had to remember.
Liz closed her tired eyes a minute to focus on what she had said. "I…I can't seem to wake up. Why can't…can't I wake up?" She stuttered out, confusion written all over her face.
Lynn sat down the small package she was holding, on a chair in the corner of the room then came over to the bed and sat beside her. She took Liz's hand in her own and felt her relax almost instantly. "The anesthesia is warring off. You'll be okay in a little while. Just don't try so hard to fight it. If you need to go to sleep, do it. I'll be here when you wake up."
Liz tired to shake her head so she could clear her mind of the images it was sending. She remembered coming to the hospital early that afternoon – if it was still the same day – and filling out a bunch of papers before having a nurse poke her in the arm with a needle. That was all she could retain. She didn't know what happened after that – except that she was there for the test.
She tightened her grip on Lynn's hand when she remembered that last part. She mumbled out the words but Lynn understood. "Do…do they have my…my results yet?" She asked, feeling her dry mouth crack.
Lynn simply nodded to the young woman in front of her. "The doctor said that she'd be up when you were awake but I don't think now is the time. Elizabeth, you did great in there. I just wanted to tell you that. I'll let the nurse know you are waking up but it should still be awhile before they tell you what they found. Do you want me to stay?"
Liz was dozing off but was able to thank her for staying as long as she had and asked her to remain there a little longer. "Please, I don't want wake up again and not have anyone here." She finished and as her eyes closed for her to find more sleep, Lynn noticed a single tear escape her eye and run down her cheek.
She leaned down and brushed it off but could feel her own tears beginning. She straightened back up and gathered her package to place on the floor then situated herself in the chair and began to go over a few things for work. She would be there the moment Liz woke up and prayed for good news from the doctor.
The sound of Lynn's cell phone startled her and she reached for it so it wouldn't wake Liz. She flipped it open and answered it before the third ring. "Hello."
"Hey mom, how's it going?"
Lynn slumped in the chair she sat in and brought her hand up to her forehead. It was Justin and this was NOT a good time to talk to him. Any minute now another nurse or the doctor would walk in and he could hear them then ask what she was doing in the hospital. She had to think fast.
"Honey, everything's fine. But look, can I call you back later. I'm in a meeting right now." She said, without even thinking.
"Um, mom, it's like what, 8:00 your time. Are you at a dinner meeting?" Justin asked, wondering why she sounded funny all of a sudden.
Lynn smacked her head. "Oh, um yeah. I'm at a dinner meeting and I really need to go." She started but he interrupted once again.
"Hey, is Liz with you? I haven't heard her voice in over a week and I'm getting pretty tired of the emails. She said the doctor told her she was stressed out so why are you working her to death?" He questioned.
Lynn spoke again without thinking. "Oh, well yes Elizabeth is here with me. And as for work, well, she asked me to do this. I'm just giving her what she wants." That was not a lie.
Liz had asked Lynn to go along with not telling Justin or anyone else. She knew that Liz was the only who had a right to tell any of them and so she agreed to it.
"She's with you? Can I speak to her?" Justin asked, snapping Lynn from her thoughts.
Again, she had to curse herself. That was the second slip and she didn't want to think about what would happen if there was a third. "Honey, I'm sorry but we are really in a hurry and she can't come to the phone now. Look, I'll have her call you when she's feeling better…I mean…when she's home, okay?" That was the THIRD!
Justin didn't like that sound of that. "Mom, what is going on? You just said when she feels better. You're not at a meeting are you?"
Lynn looked over at Liz who was now waking up. She began to sweat under the pressure of keeping this from him but they really didn't know what was going on just yet.
As if on cue, the door swung open and in walked a nurse and Liz's doctor. "Elizabeth, so you're finally awake."
"Mom, who was that? And what about the meeting? Where are you and why are you lying to me?" Justin was getting frustrated and Lynn's blood pressure was skyrocketing right now.
"Um, Justin, honey, I need to call you back." She said but he yelled for answers. It tore at her heart to do this to him but she took a deep breath and hung up the phone.
She flipped it off and slowly placed it back inside her purse. She had to fight back the tears that were brimming in her eyes. She had never been so short with her son or told him blatant lies like that.
"Mrs. Harless, are you okay?" The doctor asked, noticing her flustered face.
"Yeah, um that was just my son." She began but was interrupted by someone else in the room.
"Justin?" Liz asked, trying once again to sit up. This time she was successful with the help of the nurse. Lynn could only nod her head in agreement. "Is he okay?" She asked, hoping he was fine overseas.
Lynn's heart fell apart right then. Liz was laying in a hospital bed, about to get news of her condition and she was worried about Justin. Lynn had to quickly wipe the moisture out of her eyes before she lost it in front of everyone. Today was not over yet and there would still be time for tears later. "Yes, dear he is fine. I'll talk to him later." She said as she put her things on the floor and positioned herself better in the chair.
The doctor nodded her head as well then turned to her patient. "Well, I must say that you are looking much better. How do you feel?" She asked as she brought out Liz's chart and was documenting a few observations.
Liz yawned and tried to stretch out her back. "Fine I guess. Do you have my results back yet?" She asked, fully awake now and wondering her fate.
The doctor eyed Lynn a second before Liz spoke up to tell her that it was okay to speak freely in front of her. She nodded and slid a swivel stool over closer to the bed and sat down. She took in Liz's anxious but worried face. She took a deep breath and sighed heavily before giving Liz a concerned look.
"Elizabeth, I need to be frank with you. I'm not going to sugar-coat anything and I hope you are okay with that because in your case, you need honesty if you're going to accept what I'm telling you."
Liz looked on the verge of tears but was able to agree with her.
The doctor was just about to tell her what the results were when Lynn heard her phone ring again. She knew it had to be Justin calling back to find out why she had hung up on him. She smiled nervously to the group as she stood and excused herself. "I'll just take this outside. Or do you want me to stay?" She asked, looking at Liz.
She just shifted in the bed, trying to make herself more comfortable: a feat that would be impossible. "No, please take it. I'll let you know what she says when you get back."
Lynn nodded her head and slowly left the room to answer her phone. She picked it up and said a silent prayer for the strength to deal with her possibly angry son. "Hello." She said, not very confidently. She waited for the yelling to begin but there was none.
"Mom, please tell me Liz is okay."
Lynn heard the worry in her son's voice and wanted to come clean but couldn't. "Justin, honey I can't go into it right now. Elizabeth doesn't want you to worry about her."
Justin immediately interrupted. "Mom, you HAVE to tell me. I just spent the last few minutes trashing my hotel room, throwing my cell phone against the wall – I'm using Lance's right now so I have to behave, and trying to calm myself down. Now, I don't know what is going on over there but for my own mother to hang up on me, it has to be bad. Why can't you tell me?"
She heard his plea and had to bite her tongue so she wouldn't say anything. "Justin, it's not that I want to keep anything from you but Elizabeth has asked me not to say anything and I have to respect her wishes. Honey, please just wait until she tells you herself."
Justin sighed deeply into the phone and Lynn could tell he didn't like being left out in the cold. "I know something is wrong. Liz hasn't spoken to me except those damn emails and I'm getting tired of it. Do I have to cancel the rest of the shows over here and fly home to get the truth out of you two?" He asked, raising his voice by the second. He hated doing this to his mother but he was beyond frustrated now.
"Justin, you can't cancel the shows. The fans…" She started but she heard him yell over the phone at her.
"SCREW THE FANS! My own mother is covering for my girlfriend and keeping things from me, things that I can only imagine and I want to know about them. I'm not going to do anyone any good here if I'm upset over this. Mom, I'm begging you, PLEASE tell me what's wrong with her. I have to know."
Lynn could feel the tears breaking and she opened her mouth to say the words that she hoped Justin would take to heart and not jump to any conclusions about just yet. "Justin, Elizabeth has…"
Her sentence was interrupted when a nurse came out of Liz's room and asked for her to rejoin the group. "She wants you in there."
"Mom, who wants you? Mom, Liz has what? Mom. MOM!" Justin screamed into the phone to get her attention.
Lynn was about to tell him but the nurse stopped her. "She wants to talk to whomever you have on the phone as well."
Lynn looked confused at her but realized that Liz must have known who she was talking to. She nodded her head and returned to her son on the phone. "Honey, hold on just a minute. Elizabeth wants to speak with you."
She heard him say okay and sigh in frustration. She took a deep breath of her own and followed the nurse back into the room. She rounded the corner by the bathroom and looked at Liz for any sign of news. She found nothing. Liz's face was blank. She had no expression to her normally expressive face and that worried her.
Liz simply waved her hand towards Lynn for her to give her the phone. She obliged and crept closer to the bed. She smiled at her but got nothing in return. Liz simply took the phone away and began the toughest conversation of her life.
"Hello."
She laid in her hospital bed, hearing the breathing on the other end but no voice. She had to close her eyes to mentally psyche herself up to speak again. "Justin, are you there?" She asked and this time heard a faint sound.
"Yeah." He answered but didn't say anything else.
Liz chewed on her bottom lip to try to think of where to start and how to say the things she needed to get out to him. "Justin, I need to talk to you. I haven't been honest with you and I need to explain a few things." She said, struggling to get the words out but knew she had to.
"Ebby, just tell me, what's wrong with you?" Justin said in a hushed voice. He wanted to yell at her for keeping anything from him but he had had that feeling inside of him for awhile now and knew this had to do with it. Things wouldn't be happy anymore.
Lynn watched Liz's face for any signs of what she was about to say. She saw her take a deep breath, look up at the ceiling, and then open her mouth to say the three words that would change everyone's lives. "I have cancer."