9-14-04 - Di, Evanda's celebration of life was awesome in my eyes and we truly miss her. The remarks by the children and myself follow.
Please feel free to pass them around. Richard
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Evanda was well known for cutting up, joking, and always laughing and finding anything funny in most situations and was always optimistic during the tough times – using humor to get through them. She was always full of life and some of the amusing things remembered today follows.
1. Sneaky-Grandma: She wrote this and submitted it to the people putting together a book with the following title - CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE GRANDPARENTS SOUL. It is still on their internet website:
"Tara, being most precious, could always take home the award of the ‘Most Finicky and Most Persnickity Eater’ around these parts. Always attempting some sneaky way to get her to eat something a bit nourishing, I would embellish her noodles with milk, eggs and parmesan cheese when she wasn't looking. She grew to love the noodles and would always ask for ‘MeMa's noodles’ when she came visiting.
At the age of 12, Tara attended a family get-together at our home. While gathered around the dining table, celebrating her uncle's birthday, she asked, ‘MeMa, are you going to fix me some of your noodles while I'm here?’ I replied, ‘Well, of course, sweetie, you know you always can have noodles when you come to see me!’ With a twinkle in her eye, she looked over at her younger brother, Michael, and remarked - ‘See! Grandparents are ea--sy!!’"
Story submitted by a Proud Grandma, Evanda Sallinger
2. Technologically-Advanced Mom: In later years, Mom was afflicted with back pain; arthritis in her ankle from fusions and fibromyalgia that kept her limited in her movement. She found a way to relax by making websites on the computer and was known as the constant "night-owl" into the wee hours of the morning. Her sons always got onto her for staying up so late and she told them, laughing, "There’s nothing you guys can do it about since you’re so far away now." Well, at one point, to stay in "instant-touch" with her family and friends, she installed an instant messenger on the computer that would let her and others know when each other were "On-Line." On one wee-morning when Evanda was "night-owling" it a message popped up on her screen that said – "MOM – GO TO BED!!!!!!" A little unnerved by this, she quickly realized that Ken (who had installed instant messenger on his computer halfway around the world) was able to monitor her activities from Saudi Arabia (Score one for Ken). Needless to say, she stayed up and carried on a conversation with Ken by way of the computer.
"I love you Mom". Ken
3. The Always-Optimistic Nurse and Mother: Evanda always helped others look at tough situations by using humor to get through them. During one of those times when Ken was in Southwest Asia, he talked to her about some of the problems over there and trying to deal with some of the "difficult personalities" that were causing him stress. She e-mailed him the following helpful medical remedy:
"Ken, I found this online today in one of my medical readings that should help you. It’s called a meditation for de-stressing:
Close your eyes and picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here.
No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place we call - "The World"
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you’re holding under the water.
Look. What a pleasant surprise - It’s the person who caused you this stress in the first place.
You let them up…just for a quick breath…then ploop!…back under they go…
You allow yourself as many deep breaths as you want.
There now…feeling better?
Anyway Ken, humor does go a long way in helping us find balance, harmony….and the funny bone.
I love you bunches, Mom"
4. A true Southern-Lady: Evanda has always been extremely proud of her southern heritage and became very close friends with other Southern-Ladies throughout the United States whom she corresponded with daily. The following is an excerpt from an e-mail dialogue where they were bantering back and forth about how "them Northerners" just couldn’t understand proper southern-English:
From Mom:
"Yes Di, I agree with you too about them just not wanting to understand our proper way of talking. That reminds me of when I was in school, and back then I would never have said any cuss words --- no southern lady would think of having such language come out of her mouth --- LOL!!! I was very athletic back then and competed in relay races, broad jumps, etc. There was a very "coarse" northern girl in our class and she told the teacher I said "Hell Far" at her. I told her and the teacher that I was saying, "I can’t jump that far." She said, "You said ‘Hell Far’ I heard you!!" I yelled back at her, "It’s not ‘FAR’ … It’s ‘FI---ER’ !!!!!!!!! And that proves I didn’t say that word!!! Evanda"
Wes remembers: As a young boy and growing up, I liked to explore and be adventurous. My adventures were always fun and exciting. Most of the time they were quite creative and normally pretty harmless to the local population. I mean what kid wouldn’t enjoy giving the teachers pet a bath in the playground mud puddle OR putting a little elmers glue in her pigtails during a spelling bee in homeroom. Gosh what fun that was! Naturally, the school principle had to notify mom on my behavior. And of course momma had other ideas on what good christian behavior should be. BOY DID SHE EVER!!! Now a few of you may be familiar with these words "SON THIS IS GONNA HURT ME MORE THAT IT WILL HURT YOU". I tended to disagree at the time. And over the years I became quite familiar with "HER WORDS" on a pretty regular basis and what most certainly followed next. OUCH! And for some reason I just could not figure out how in the world is this hurting momma more than my fanny. Now I’m not quite sure if it was the time that I designed a highway through her rose garden and geranium beds with my bicycle OR the infamous time that I went quail hunting on my neighbors farm with my bow and arrow and came home with one of Mr. Lungs chickens… Either way, I knew for sure as the sun sets I was definitely going to hear "HER" words. "SON THIS IS GOING TO HURT ME MORE THAT IT WILL HURT YOU". So definitely not being new in this department, I thought it might be kind of cute to level the playing field just a bit. And just prior to my meeting with momma and "HER" words, I filled my back pockets with a few pebbles and stones. BIG, BIG MISTAKE! I believe I just got to experience a whole new level of "HER WORDS". The years have gone by now, all to quickly. While I look back on "HER" words I understand now exactly what she meant and was trying to tell me.
I love you so dearly momma. Thank-you, Wes
6. Evanda also had a serious side to her---especially when driving the car:
Patrick remembers the trip he made with her from Nebraska to Florida in 1978 when Evanda’s mother was in an auto accident. Evanda had never been on a long trip like this by herself before and as she related it, the drive through Oklahoma City; Dallas and Mobile was horrifying. She insisted on driving the speed limit or less while others were zipping past her. Patrick being nearly four years old at the time and rambunctious was getting a little unruly in the backseat after a long day and was not helping matters much by kicking the back of the drivers seat repeatedly and when finally getting a motel for the night east of Mobile, he had a great time using the bed as trampoline for nearly an hour. He was also fascinated with the SNOW (sand dunes) east of Ft. Walton Beach and insisted on stopping to play in it, which they did. On the return trip to Nebraska with Evanda’s mother and Patrick in the back seat, Evanda had plenty of help (you have all heard of back seat drivers). She managed Mobile ok (with help from the back seat driver), even after asking her mother not to distract her with talking so she could concentrate on the roads etc. to no avail. When finally reaching Oklahoma City again, her mother insisted on telling her how to get through the city even though she had never been there before. Evanda finally had enough and told her mother and Patrick to be quiet, don’t say another word and let her concentrate. Evanda suddenly heard her mother speak to Patrick and say: Patrick, be quiet now and don’t distract your mother----SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE SHE IS GOING.
I remember the times nearing the holidays making cookies and other goodies with mom. I learned not to put sugar on the cookies before you bake them in the oven …. I discovered how much smoke comes from burning sugar. She’s taught me a lot about life and even learned how to crochet. Mom was an awesome mom, a loving mother and I thank God for giving me such a wonderful mother. Thanks Mom, for being there for me through the tough times and the great times.
I love you and I will see you again, Patrick
7. Mema’s art and talent lives on:
Grandson Michael always loved Mema because of how sweet, caring, and loving she is by always going to his soccer games, getting to spend the summers with her in Lynn Haven, digging up salt crystals in Oklahoma, climbing the hills in Arkansas, or just sitting around playing Monopoly (Michael says he doesn’t really remember if she got onto him when she caught him stealing all of her money behind her back). She taught him in his younger years how to draw, paint, and look at things through her eyes. It must have worked because her talent lives through him. Michael was accepted to attend a fine arts college preparatory high school and will begin next year. Everything he draws has a part of her in it.
Dad’s Input:
Evanda and I really enjoyed one another but with all marriages there are always some little things that interfere in communications. We are both strong willed, know what we wanted and sometimes had to use a few extra words to convince the other one to go along with what was wanted. It was rare that I would ask Evanda if she wanted to do something without having to repeat the request or suggestion to make my thoughts known more than once. When I retired from the Air Force and moved back to Nebraska, she came to dislike the area very much. The allergies she had there were so great that she would have to either take shots the rest of her life or leave the area. Of course I am back in my home area---but never once said to her "I FORGOT JUST HOW COLD NEBRASKA COULD GET." Anyway, after the second year there and going through a very harsh winter, I asked her in July if she was ready to move back to Florida. She didn’t ask me to repeat the question or expound on it in anyway-----she only said one word---WHEN? We made the trip in August of 1979 and have lived here ever since.
Evanda will really be missed, especially by her family and dear friends. But not only that, WAL-MART will realize a definite reduction in their profits.
