October 24, 2007 3:15 PM
A knock sounded on the back door interrupting the chaos in the kitchen. Raven
and Sean were trying to make popcorn the old fashioned way to make treats for
Halloween while Spike watched in amused silence.
“Come in,” he called while his children continued to make a colossal mess with the popcorn, corn syrup and sugar.
“Hi,” Tara said as she came in and her eyes widened at the experiment.
“It’s for the party next week and we were making a trial run.” Raven explained as she shrugged.
“I think that you’re supposed to heat the syrup before you add the popcorn.”
Spike laughed as the two teenagers looked at each other then at the recipe and realized their mistake.
“Get the trash can and we’ll start over,” Sean said.
“Hi, Tara, what are you doing here?” Spike stood and kissed the witch on the cheek.
“I’m here to spend time with Elijah. You know the meditations and powers practice.”
“Buffy hasn’t come home with him yet. Maybe they stopped somewhere on the way.” Spike glanced at the clock but relaxed when he realized they weren’t that late yet. “Take a seat. I’m sure they’ll be here soon. Would you like a drink?”
“No, I’m fine.” Tara took a seat on the other side of the table from where Raven was wiping it down. “Everything’s been…you know okay since earlier in the month?”
“Yeah, it has been. Nothing more than a few forgetful episodes but nothing to worry about. Sara must have been right about it being stress.”
“And the stalker?”
Spike ran a finger along the edge of the table then glanced back at Sean and Raven.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be asking about this.” Tara said as she followed his gaze. “So, what’s up with you two?” She asked the two teenagers.
Raven launched into a monologue about the sit in they were planning at the university on Friday afternoon to dispute the suspension of the students involved in their side of the protests. The club members hadn’t even been reprimanded and no one had felt it was right. Dawn and Josh had both been given academic suspension and had been unable to reverse it. They were hoping that if they could stop the afternoon classes they might get the attention they needed so their side could be heard.
Spike only listened with half an ear as he began to worry about Buffy and his son. She had been fine for the last couple of weeks and he hadn’t thought twice about letting her go alone to pick up Elijah like she always did. Nothing had really changed in their routines because other than that one incident there really hadn’t been cause for concern.
When the phone rang he felt his heart drop as he went to answer it.
“May I speak to Mr. or Mrs. Blood?”
“This is Mr. Blood.”
“This is Sunnydale Elementary School. Are you aware that your son hasn’t been picked up yet?”
His hopes that everything might be all right were destroyed by that one question and he felt himself choking up in the powerless frustration that overcame him.
“I’m sorry my wife left to pick him up. I don’t what happened. I’ll be right there.” When he turned around he saw the same fear he felt echoed in the eyes of the others. “Buffy didn’t pick up Elijah. I need to go.”
Tara stood quickly and laid a hand on his arm. “I’ll go get him while you figure out what happened to Buffy. Okay?”
He nodded as Tara grabbed her bag and hurried out the door. Spike looked around unsure of where to even start to look for his wife. Then remembering her constant lists he headed for the refrigerator to check to see if she had left something there. Sure enough there was a note that she had made to buy more bed sheets.
“I’m going to check the mall,” Spike announced as he looked at his kids. He knew his voice was coming out flat and emotionless but he was locking down so he that he could stay in control of the situation instead of screaming hysterically like he wanted.
“You want us to come with you, Dad?” Sean asked and as he realized what he said he looked away from the other two hoping against hope that they hadn’t heard him in the confusion.
Spike walked over to him and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Thanks for the offer but I’d appreciate it if you two would stay here in case Mum comes back or calls.” It was all he could do for the boy at the moment but found himself being hugged by both of them as they sought his reassurance. “It’s going to be fine.”
And as he walked out to look for Buffy he prayed that he was right.
October 24, 2007 4:22 PM
Spike didn’t care about the people staring at him or even the ones he
bumped into as he ran through the mall. His only thought was to find his wife
as he bounded down the escalator in only three leaps. He headed toward the center
of the mall where there was a large fountain and that was where he found her
sitting on a bench. In the moment that he spotted her a cry of anguish threatened
to erupt from the very core of his being and he knew that whatever was happening
to Buffy couldn’t be explained away by pregnancy or stress. Slowly he
was going to lose her and if ripping his heart out would prevent it then he
would do it gladly with his bare hands. But for now he blinked back his tears
and made his way towards her.
Buffy hands were folded in her lap as she stared blankly into the fountain. She didn’t even turn to him when he sat beside her and when he brushed her hair back away from her face she put her finger to her lips.
“Shhh, they’ll know you’re here.”
“Who will, Love?”
Taking his face in her hand she pulled him until his chin was resting on her shoulder while she pointed with her other hand into the water.
“There they are. You’re lucky they don’t like other people to see them. Only me.”
“Yes, there they are,” Spike played along as he stared into only the waters that danced to the fountain’s tune.
“They want to tell me something.”
Spike laid his head on her shoulder for a moment, “It’s time to go home, Buffy.”
“No, I can’t go. They have a message for me.”
Standing he took her hands in his and pulled her to her feet. A look of confusion crossed her face as she finally broke the stare from the water to look at him.
“Are you sure that it’s all right for me to leave? The people in the water wanted to tell me something.”
“I’m sure its okay for me to take you home. You do trust me don’t you?”
Her hand caressed his cheek, “Of course I do. You’re my Spike, my protector and the one who always finds me when I’m lost.”
Kissing her quickly on the cheek he turned her toward the exit with an arm around her waist and with his free hand he picked up her purse and shopping bag. As he led her away she turned one last time to glance at the water.
“I was so sure they wanted to tell me something. I know that it was important.”
“I’m sure it was, Pet. Maybe another day they’ll tell you.” And as he took her home he wondered if he would be able to live up to her image of him. If this time he would be able to find her again.
October 24, 2007 7:54 PM
Buffy was at home sleeping and Spike was huddled on the couch at Giles’
house. After he had gotten her home he had immediately called both Kate and
Sara who wanted to see her right away while she was still in the state of confusion.
They had both examined her and they had wanted to talk to Spike first before
they told her their conclusions. At this point they didn’t feel she was
competent to make any decisions regarding her condition.
After he had gotten her home he had laid down with her until she was asleep. Raven and Sean were under strict orders to call him as soon as she stirred and he had dropped Elijah off at Xander’s on his way over. Kate sat next to him and when he glanced at her he knew that whatever was going to be said was going to be bad news.
“Spike, you need to listen to us carefully. Buffy obviously has problems and they are problems we can’t fully diagnose because of the pregnancy.” Kate hesitated as she looked to Sara and then to her husband. His gentle smile gave her the strength to continue and she laid a hand on Spike’s arm. “From what we can ascertain it can be and is probable that it is either schizophrenia or a brain tumor of some sort.”
“You’ve been saying its stress or the pregnancy. Now you’re saying she’s gone mad or has a tumor. Gee, if we wait until tomorrow what are you going to say then?” He pulled his arm away from Kate and leaned his forearms on his legs.
“I know it’s hard but like I said we can’t really make a diagnosis because of the pregnancy. If it’s schizophrenia we can’t treat it without it hurting the baby and we can’t run the tests to ascertain if it’s a tumor or not.”
Her words finally began to sink in leaving him with a horrible feeling of dread as Giles came to sit on the coffee table and took his hands in his.
“Son, I know it’s hard. Really hard and it’s killing me to say this.”
“Then don’t.”
“At this point it may be better if the pregnancy was terminated so that we can give Buffy the best possible care.”
His words were the final blow to an already fragile state of mind and Spike fell to his knees burying his face against Giles as his fear and grief took him over. The ones he had been holding onto since the night that Lorne had made his announcement. He could feel Kate lean against his back and she whispered words that made no sense to him. All he could see and hear was Buffy when she had found out she was pregnant. The joy and light that had filled her and now it might be taken away. He pulled back and his hands wiped at his face.
“What if it’s mystical? If the blackness that Lorne saw is causing this?”
“What if the blackness is either mental illness or something physical? That’s the thing we don’t know and we can’t rule everything out unless…”
“Our baby is murdered.”
“Spike, no one is suggesting this lightly or even saying it is the only way.” Sara spoke up as she leaned forward. “We just want you to know all the facts.” She sighed before meeting the vampire’s eyes. “If its schizophrenia and we wait to treat her we may never be able to get her back. And it’s a tumor then she could die before we even know for sure if it is or not.”
“Buffy will never go for it. She’d die for this baby.”
“That’s why we wanted to talk to you first,” Giles said as he pulled his glasses off and began to wipe them. “If you decide that it’s best to terminate and Buffy refuses then she can be declared incompetent and it can be done anyway.”
“Rup, old man, you have finally lost it.” Spike said as he stood. “We do that and after we get her all fixed up again she’ll never talk to me again.”
“But she’d be alive and healthy again.”
“And what happens if we take this child from her and we lose Buffy anyway. Then I’ll have lost my child and her, too.”
“It’s not going to be an easy decision no matter what you do but a decision is going to have to be made and soon. She has already displayed violent tendencies toward you and she may be needed to be kept from her children.” Sara said.
“No, you’re the one who kept saying that it was going to be all right. You’re the one who said it was stress or the pregnancy and because of it she has only gotten worse.” Spike yelled as he pointed at Sara then at Kate. “How can I know for sure that you’re telling the truth now because no one has had a clue what the fuck is going on until now?”
“Spike…” Giles started but Kate hushed him.
“It’s okay for him to be angry.” She stood and took Spike’s hands in hers and stared down the fury in his eyes. “We didn’t want to see it. None of us did. We wanted to find excuses for her behavior and I was wrong. I know it. But take her to other doctors if it will make you feel better just know that I love you both.”
“I know, Kate, I know. I’m sorry,” His apology covered both women and they smiled at him as he started to pace the room. “Can we have a couple of days? I want to talk to her.”
“Of course, sweetie, no one expects for this to be decided tonight.”
Before he could say anything else his cell phone rang and he scrambled to answer it. Raven’s frantic voice came through the line sending him into instant panic.
“Dad, she’s gone.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?” Spike turned to look at the others in the room and they all rushed to his side.
“She came downstairs with a suitcase, went into your study for a minute, came out, kissed us good-bye and said she’d return after the baby was born.”
“Shit, you couldn’t stop her?”
“I tried and she left anyway. She’s pregnant. I couldn’t very well tackle her. Hurry, she’s in the Desoto and she’s only been gone a couple of minutes.”
Spike headed for the front door as he hung up the phone. “Buffy knows something is up. She left and told the kids she’d be back after the baby was born. I’ve got to go find her.”
“Hurry,” Giles said. “I’ll call everyone else and see if they heard from her. Keep in touch.”
But he was talking to air by then because Spike had sprinted across the lawn toward his motorcycle. As the vampire drove off Giles said a silent prayer that Spike would be able to find her before it was too late.
