Chapter 21 – In the Walls
Thanksgiving, November 22, 2007 10:48 AM
It was a beautiful morning, cool and crisp, with the sun hanging high in the blue sky. Buffy was humming along to the vibrations of her body, peaceful and happy from a long night of slow love making, and she wore a smile that didn’t waver. After she and Spike had returned last night, they had gathered the kids (sans Elijah) and Max for board games that had gone on until after midnight. The fight had been forgotten, or at least forgiven, as laughter replaced the anger and tears of earlier.
This morning had dawned with the same mood that everyone had retired with as Buffy prepared cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Elijah had told her that every holiday his mother would make the special treat and she was determined that their holiday traditions would be blended with the ones she and Spike had, to create new ones for their family. Breakfast had been a noisy affair with everybody talking over each other as the television had shown the parade.
Everyone was downstairs waiting for her as Buffy smoothed down her dress and checked her appearance in the mirror. The new emerald green sweater dress was clingy but still comfortable to move in. She held the material against her body, above and below, her slightly protruding abdomen so she could marvel once again in the fact that she was carrying Spike’s baby. He had given her a precious gift and with a pat, she once again refused to admit that the babe was anything but a miracle.
“Buffy, hurry up,” Spike shouted.
“Coming,” she called back as she hurriedly grabbed her earrings.
A shadow darted across the room and for a moment she froze as she looked behind her to see what was there. There was nothing. Buffy turned back to the mirror and fastened her earring and as she brought the other hoop to her ear, she saw two more shadows cross behind her. Startled she turned around to once again see who was there but saw no one.
“Who’s there?”
No one answered but she saw the shadow as it ran along the wall. Scratching and banging surrounded her, seemingly from nowhere and within the walls at the same time. A voice, deep and angry, echoed in her head. “Hide all you want. We’ll find you.” The voice became garbled for a moment then returned with an ominous threat. “Kill the spawn of Satan.”
Terrified Buffy’s hands covered her belly in an attempt to protect her child from the shadows but as the noises became louder she tried to drown them out by covering her ears until finally she screamed.
“Noooooo…”
Thanksgiving November 22, 2007 10:56 AM
“…oooooo.”
The horrific fear came through in Buffy’s scream and before she had completed it, Spike was at the top of the stairs, followed closely by Max and Raven. Sean stayed below to hold Elijah who was crying for Buffy. They burst into the empty bedroom, surprised they stood for a second looking around for her, and then Spike spotted her earring lying on the floor in front of the closet. Spike opened the door and froze at the sight of his wife. Buffy was huddled in the far corner, boxes shoved in front of her as a protective shield. She was crying hysterically and Spike dropped to his knees to crawl to her. Hesitating for a moment he turned back to his daughter and friend.
“Max, take the kids and go on. We’ll be there soon,” he whispered as he returned his gaze to Buffy who was plucking at the hem of her dress and hiding her face against the wall.
“They’re coming, the door close, want the baby, not spawn, find me, dark hide,” she rambled.
Max knelt behind his friend for a moment, “Are you sure?”
Spike nodded as he tried to approach Buffy who was trying to back into a space that would allow her no further.
“Go please, Raven,” he ordered as he dismissed them from his mind and was only vaguely aware of Max dragging Raven from the room as she protested they needed to stay.
“Buffy, Baby, it’s Spike.”
His whispers only seemed to scare her more and he stopped his approach as she started to slam the heels of her hands against her head.
“No, have can’t, my baby, belong to, we Spike.” Recognition flashed in her eyes and she held her hands out to him. “Help me, noise go away. Searching, searching, tear it apart.”
Spike grabbed and pulled Buffy to him, cradling her as her arms held him in a vice like grip. His hands caressed her trembling body as he whispered words of love in her ear. Her face was buried against his chest until something else happened to her and she screamed again, turning in his lap, looking for the unseen thing that was after her.
He stood, pulling her up with him, her back against him, as he walked them back into the bedroom.
“Let’s lie down and I’ll hold you,” he whispered.
“No, no, in walls, trying to get out, bed too close.”
“Don’t move,” he told her as he moved in front of her but she clung to him, her hands now plucking at his shirt as tears poured down her face and her eyes darted around looking for the enemy that only she could hear or see.
Spike grabbed the footboard of the bed, prayed he didn’t break it, and pulled the bed to the center of the room. He tried to pull her toward it but she muttered something about underneath it and he picked her up and placed her on the bed. Buffy immediately crawled to her side reaching underneath the mattress to pull out her knife. She retreated to the center of the mattress, holding the knife in front of her as Spike came to kneel behind her, his legs separated and on either side of hers. His arms came around her as he placed his hands over hers.
“Give me the knife, Love, so I can protect you.”
At first she refused but as he soothingly reiterated his love and unwavering devotion to her, she finally gave it up and he put it on the end of the bed. Spike knew that whatever Buffy was afraid of was coming from only her mind as she dealt with another break in her grasp of reality. Yet there was the twinge of fear that maybe there really was something there. There was always the possibility of attack from things you couldn’t see or hear and maybe the knife would be useless against them but at least it was something.
Eventually he managed to get her to lie down with him spooned against her. She said that was fine because he could manage anything that came up behind her while she kept watch for the shadows that wanted their child. As they lay there she would babble about the noises she heard, point out the shadows as they darted around the room, and repeat snatches of what she could hear of the voices.
Spike alone with his wife, over the next few hours, felt his own hold on sanity be stretched to the limit as he sunk lower and lower into the hell she dwelt in.
Thanksgiving November 22, 2007 1:15 PM
The family was seated at several different tables that had been set up in the Harris living room to accommodate everyone. Xander carved the turkey while everyone talked. Raven sat quietly, unable to forget the picture of her mother, frightened and huddled in the closet. She jumped when Elijah tugged on her sleeve and when she turned to look at him, he burst into tears.
“I want Mummy and Daddy. I want to go home.”
Raven looked around at the adults as they tried to mask their secret wish that the Blood family would disappear and she stood throwing her napkin on the table. She picked her brother up in her arms and turned to leave the room. Sean stood to follow her but Raven changed her mind. She wasn’t going to just comfort Elijah so they could return to dinner. She wanted to go home, too. Raven handed Eli to Sean and came to stand by the table again.
“I’m taking my brother and going home,” she announced.
“Raven, honey,” Max said as he grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Let’s go settle Elijah down and we’ll talk.”
“No, I don’t want to be here while my parents are at home alone while everyone ignores that. God only knows what’s happening there and no one, not one of you has gotten off your ass to go and check on them. I’m a kid and so is Sean and its not fair that that we have to deal with this all the time while you all try to deny what’s going on.”
Everyone froze as Raven started to cry as hard as Elijah and Max wrapped his arm around her and tried to get her to leave the room. She shook off the arm and pushed him away.
“I’m going to say this because someone has to.” Her eyes looked around the room at her family, meeting their eyes so she could be sure they knew she was talking to them. In a way she understood why they weren’t around that much anymore but she was hurt and at the end of her patience just like her parents. “It’s like when we came over and told everyone what had happened, I could sense the almost relief from everyone. It’s like you said, ‘well, we know what’s wrong, now we don’t have to wonder anymore’. You’ve given up. You have something to tag it with. I heard the whispers, schizophrenia, she’s insane and now you all just want to Mrs. Rochester her. Forget about her. This is Buffy, we’re talking about. I’ve heard it from all of you, the times she’s saved you and died for you and now you’re just going to shut her away.”
“No one said that,” Kate told her quietly.
“You didn’t have to. My father, Spike, is taking care of us kids, the house, taking care of Buffy and still trying to figure out what is wrong with her. He’s not getting any sleep, neither of them is but they haven’t given up. They won’t because they love each other too much. Not like all of you. We get phone calls and Xander and Anya take Elijah and feed us but who’s been to the house. Who’s taken Buffy out on her good days? Who’s volunteered to stay at the house so that Spike can go out alone or fucking sleep in peace for a few hours? The only one that has is Dawn, surprise, surprise; the family outcast has been there.”
“Raven, calm down,” Max said.
“No, I won’t. It’s like today. Buffy wanted this at the house but, no, because you all are afraid to be around her, we’re crammed in here like sardines. And do you know she cried because the plans were changed. You want to hear my opinion on why she broke today?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell us,” Xander said.
“The stress of trying to be perfect for you all. To be the same old Buffy because none of you can handle what is happening to her. Guess what, people, it’s not contagious.”
Raven took one last look around the room before marching out the front door.
Thanksgiving November 22, 2007 1:25 PM
For a moment, stunned silence followed Raven’s exit, as everyone looked guiltily around at each other.
“I’m with her,” Sean said as he followed her still holding Elijah.
Max was the next to stand. “They need a ride home,” he said as he headed for the door.
“I’m going with them,” Connor said.
Dawn and Josh stood but Angel raised his hands as if in surrender and they stopped to see what he was doing.
“Out of the mouths of babes,” Angel said. “She’s right. It’s supposed to be a day for family. Pack it up; we’re going to their house.”
“You’re kidding right? You want us to pack up all the food and move it?” Anya asked.
“Yes.”
“Now hold on, Dead boy, this is Sunnydale and you don’t give orders around here. If Buffy and Spike are out of the loop then those decisions fall to…” Xander said.
“Us,” Willow finished. When Xander gave her a funny look she added, “Hey, I’m part of the original Scoobies and therefore qualified to lead.”
“Quit arguing and let’s start packing this up.” Giles said.
And with the decision made the family went to work to pack up the food and children for the migration to the Blood house.
Thanksgiving November 22, 2007 1:40 PM
It took several trips before everything and everyone was in house. Xander and Angel were setting up the tables and the food heated up when Willow slipped upstairs. Raven’s words had cut her deeply because she knew she had been avoiding coming to see Buffy. The holidays were here and she was wrapped up in spending them with Tara and Jacob. Watching her best friend fall apart was too much for her.
When she stepped into the room, Spike looked over his shoulder at her then buried his face in Buffy’s hair. In the momentary flash of his eyes she could see the exhaustion and the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. His body shuddered as he tightened his hold on his wife as she began to whine and burrow closer to him. Willow sat on the edge of the bed and rested her hand on his hip.
“Spike, what can we do?”
Spike just shook his head and didn’t turn to look at her as she caressed his leg. Whether he liked it or not he needed to get out of here for a little while. When Max and Raven had told them what had happened she didn’t think that it would have lasted this long. She had figured that Spike would calm Buffy down and it would be over. Guilt filled her at the knowledge that they had been huddled together for hours.
“Let me watch her while you go downstairs and see your children. They need you.” Willow whispered. “And you need a break.”
At first she didn’t think he heard her but his slow nod preceded his loosening his arm from around Buffy and as he did she started to cry.
“No, no, need Spike, protector, need, die without.”
“Here,” Willow said and crawled to the end of the bed then back up between them. Each inch taken and given until the red head was nestled between them. Willow’s position mimicking Spike’s with her arm tight around her friend. Spike gently kissed her on the cheek before he left the room.
“Spike,” Buffy cried piteously as she felt his absence. “Stay, baby, need.”
Looking over her shoulder, Willow saw Spike hesitate but she shook her head.
“Buffy, it’s me, Willow. I’ll take care of you. I promise. Spike will be back soon.”
Somehow it settled Buffy down as her hand closed over her friend’s.
“Wllow, protector too, life, bring me, Spike, power, power in your fingertips.” Buffy nodded her head and then in the rambling broken way she explained the shadows to her new protector.
Suddenly a shadow fell across the bed and Willow almost screamed before she realized it was Angel.
“Go downstairs, Willow, you have a small child and should be with him. Besides I don’t eat.”
“Does Spike know?”
“It’ll be fine,” Angel reassured her.
Willow vacillated for a moment but the vampire was already moving onto the bed and she relented. She told him how the shift had to go and he gave her a strange look but followed the instructions, slowly coming up between the two women until Willow had to let go. She rose as Buffy settled into Angel’s arms and with only a backward glance to make sure that Buffy had adjusted, Willow made her way downstairs. The first thing she did was find Spike to make sure it was okay but as soon as she appeared in the living room, he headed her way.
“You left Buffy alone?”
“No, no, Angel is up there with her.”
“You left her with Angel?” Spike snarled at her. He started toward the stairs but Willow grabbed his arm.
“Spike, let it go. He wants to help and your children need you with them right now.”
“Daddy, please, stay,” Raven said as came into the hallway.
With a last look upstairs, Spike reluctantly agreed and Willow hugged him then with Raven on the other side they led him into dinner.
Thanksgiving November 22, 2007 3:15 PM
Buffy was finally asleep, somewhere in her rambling speech, she had given into the exhaustion of her body. Angel held her close to him as he allowed himself to relax in this room he had never been in before. It was one place he had avoided, never venturing upstairs in all the years they had lived here. Their scent was strong in this room, combined and joined so deeply, he could barely tell them apart. Lying in their marriage bed was tearing him apart as her words echoed through his mind. Realizing that Willow was no longer there, he had told her he would protect her, but she refused to believe him. And finally he learned how much he had hurt her. The words of betrayal, loss, innocence, death and fear tumbling from her mouth as she spoke of him and her cries for her husband so opposite, forever, love, protection, strength. For the first time Angel knew how much he had lost by having such little faith in their love.
And it would be Buffy and Spike’s belief in their love that would somehow bring them through this time and Angel vowed that he would do everything he could to help them. To set things right and not just give words to bandage the years of pain and tension between them. To do whatever it would take to get them, all of them, through this.
Angel knew he was in the room before he spoke. Spike slid into the bed on the other side of Buffy and he tensed. His hand was clasped between Buffy’s small ones and he waited for the anger from his Childe but all he could feel was the hurt radiating through Spike’s being. Angel left his eyes closed and remained still knowing Spike could tell that he was awake.
A kiss woke Buffy and she stirred in his arms as Spike took one of her hands from his.
“Hi,” Spike said.
“Hey, who is…?”
“It’s Angel. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. What time is it?”
She sounded sleepy and confused but she didn’t pull away from his embrace and Angel was beginning to be uncomfortable just because neither of them seemed to be.
“It’s mid-afternoon.” Spike told her and when she sobbed, “Shh, its okay. The day isn’t completely gone. The children are just going to be happy to see you.”
She nodded as she pulled her hand from his and as his hand slipped to her waist still neither of them pulled away.
“May I?” Buffy whispered.
Angel rose up on his elbow to find out what she was asking for. For a moment he was confused as he watched her unbutton Spike’s sleeve and pushed it upwards. Amazement flooded him when he saw the puncture wounds that Buffy was softly caressing. Hurriedly Angel made his mind register that she was still warm and that her heart was beating.
“I wish I could,” she said as her fingers moved to caress her husband’s neck, “drink from here.”
Words refused to come to him as he met Spike’s eyes and he saw the sadness in the blue depths but there was also a warning not to hurt Buffy there as well. As his Childe switched to game face and brought his wrist to his mouth, Angel grabbed it. Anger vibrated in the air for his interference but he ignored it.
“Sit up, Spike,” he commanded, “against the headboard.” Spike didn’t move as confusion clouded his face. “For her.”
Angel sat up facing Spike as he followed his Sire’s command and Buffy shifted to the other side of Spike. She looked from one vampire to the other and when Spike turned his head to the side she smiled. His Childe resumed his human guise as Angel switched to his demon. Slowly he leaned forward and sank his fangs into Spike’s neck and as his Childe’s blood flowed down his throat Angel felt a connection that he hadn’t felt in a long time and it was gratifying to feel it once more. Then she was there between them, impatient in her need, and Angel eased back as he helped Buffy settle herself. For a moment he watched them as she drank and Spike’s hands flowed over her body and whispered words of love. It was beauty incarnate and Angel knew that they belonged together.
“Don’t let her take too much.” Angel whispered as his hand squeezed Spike’s shoulder and once he received a nod, he stood. “I’m going to go down and get her some food.”
He left them in their bonding and comfort, feeling almost bereft from not being a part of them.
Thanksgiving November 22, 2007 3:40 PM
Weakened Spike had broken her connection hating that he had stop her but knew that she was taking too much. She pressed a tissue to his throat until the flow stopped as they kissed soft and quick over and over.
“I love you,” she whispered before she slipped from his arms.
Spike continued to lie on the bed as she moved around the room, watching her change from the dress to a pair of black velour jogging pants and a long sleeve t-sheet in the same color. She moved to her vanity to brush her hair up into a pony tail before returning to him, sitting cross legged next to him. Her hand rested on his stomach as her eyes searched his.
“That wasn’t feeding, was it?”
“No, it was the need of a Childe for the comfort of their Sire or one mate for another,” Angel said re-entering the room. He walked over to them and handed Buffy a plate of food while handing a glass of juice to Spike. “I thought you might be weak so I brought you some orange juice.”
“Thanks,” Spike said as he accepted the glass and sat up. “Did you tell anyone?”
Angel shook his head as he settled onto the bed with them. For a moment the tension was there again but it fell away as Spike took a drink and Buffy began to eat the sandwich.
“How long?” Angel asked.
“Last Saturday, she fed but each day has been less. Yesterday not at all but she’s been,” Spike hesitated to squeeze her hand, “checking the wounds to make sure they’re still there. And then tonight.”
“Anything else?”
“I’m right here, Angel, don’t talk like I’m not.”
“Sorry, I just…making sure you’re all right.”
“No, not anything other than the other symptoms you already know about. Not like she’s avoiding daylight or wants to sleep in a coffin or anything.” Spike attempted a smile but it fell as short as his joke. “Seriously, nothing else other than the drinking of blood.”
“I’m going to go down and see the kids,” Buffy said as she leaned over to kiss Spike. “I love you. Will you be down soon?”
“Yeah, Love, soon.”
The two vampires watched as she walked out of the room before turning to look at each other.
“You can’t keep feeding her.”
“I know. Hopefully, it won’t come to making a decision.”
“What kind of decision are you talking about? If she does need it then you need to wean her to bags.”
Spike bristled at the authoritative tone that Angel used. It really wasn’t any of the poof’s business what they did.
“I’ll handle it.”
“She’s not a vampire, Spike. The baby is most likely causing this need and you need to handle it responsibly instead of going off half-cocked and killing to bring her food.”
Spike stood and walked to look out the window leaving his back toward Angel. “I know.” He turned around with a look of resignation on his face. “Come on, let’s head downstairs. Let’s enjoy this bloody holiday these Americans enjoy so much. Besides your wife was looking a little upset that you were spending the day in bed with your ex-girlfriend.”
“You don’t seem too upset by it.”
“Doesn’t really matter as much as I thought it did. It’s me she loves and if you get some weirdo thrill out of holding her then go for it.”
And as they made their way downstairs, Spike realized that it really didn’t matter that much, he found he was grateful that Angel had been there and to give Buffy the comfort she needed. Maybe there was some use for his Sire after all.
TBC
