November 27, 2007 3:47 PM

Raven and the Scoobettes were sitting around the Blood’s kitchen table, mapping out their strategy for the afternoon. The plans to change the world were just getting more detailed as the Slayer and her best friend studied twentieth century history and was given encouragement by Delores. Buffy watched their meeting with an amused smile remembering once when she and her Scoobies had been just as enthusiastic about winning the world from evil. These days she wondered if it had all been in vain as the darkness came ever closer to her.

“So, what are you all doing today,” Buffy asked, leaning against the counter and holding her glass of juice.

“We are going shopping,” Raven replied.

“Evil of the world flee in terror, Raven has Daddy’s credit card.”

The young people, their surrogate grandmother and one demon laughed as they looked up at her. It made Buffy feel good to have them around. Their new energy for the fight and the new perspectives on the world really did give her hope when she let it.

“Oh, Mum, we are all going shopping at the mall. Even Clem,” Raven explained. “You know take him into the mainstream Christmas shopping. It was Delores’ idea.”

“Ahhh, lunch counter movement,” Buffy said.

“Exactly,” Delores responded.

The group stood and Raven came over to Buffy and hugged her.

“Willow called and she’ll be a little late. Giles already knows and said he could stay. You going to be okay with Elijah? I’d take him but…” Raven said.

“No, it’s okay. Go, do your thing, Elijah and I are going to take over the backyard anyway. Move our game out into the open.”

Raven laughed and hugged her mother again. “I don’t what exactly you and Eli are doing in this game but it’s keeping him happy. I love you and we’ll be home in time for dinner.”

“Love you, too, Baby,” Buffy told her as Raven headed for the door.

Buffy laughed as suddenly she was hugged by her son, Connor, Dawn and Josh, each in turn before they left. None of them had any fear or reservations about being around her. They took each day in stride and didn’t treat her any differently except for some extra coddling. It made her feel a lot older than she was, more of a real mom age to their youth. It was okay though because she didn’t feel twenty-six anymore as life forced her into a maturity that she wasn’t sure she was ready for.

November 27, 2007 4:52 PM

Raven and Delores took a seat on the bench in the mall. The iced coffee they had gotten to share was on the bench between them while they began to munch on specialty cookies. From where they were they had a clear view of the others in the music store.

“What did you want to talk about?” Raven asked. Delores had pulled her aside and suggested they talk. While it had her curiosity up, it also made her nervous because she thought she might have done something to upset the older woman.

“I just wanted to check in on you. See how you were doing.”

The teen laughed and picked up the drink to postpone having to answer. What could she say? That she was scared to death that the woman she’d just accepted as her mother would be lost to insanity. That her future baby brother or sister was some kind of demon and would have to be destroyed after everybody had waited for it to be born. That she missed her Dad like crazy because he was the rock of the family and no one else could really handle her mother besides him. That when her parents found out that Sean is gay, they’d kick him out, so she had to hold onto his secret which made her feel guilty for lying to her parents. That she was in love with a man six years older than her and would do anything if he’d asked her to. That she was tired of trying to keep up her schoolwork and slaying and trying to change the world. That she was tired of living a life she couldn’t be open about. And, oh yeah, sometimes she just wanted to run away and be alone instead of living in a crowded house where there was no privacy.

In the end, Raven did what she always did. She denied everything. She was the Slayer and they weren’t allowed to be human, the world was on her shoulders and she had to take care of everybody and make sure they were happy. And the hell with how she was feeling about it.

“I’m fine, Del, you know me, I can handle it all.”

“Bullshit, Raven. You can’t. No one can. So, let’s take it a little slower. How’s it going with you and Connor?”

“Friends,” Raven answered, her eyes searching the store for him. Her eyes softened and a smile danced on her lips at the sight of him joking with Josh about something. “Friends for now but every once in a while there’s this thing that happens that, you know, shows that one day there will be more. So, I’m happy with it.”

“How’s the slaying going?”

“Slaying…ummm, my training is going really good. Patrolling can be a pain in the ass. Repetitive mostly but sometimes the adrenaline rush is cool when you know that you saved somebody.” Raven chuckled. “And when Connor goes with me it’s definitely fun.”

“And how are you handling your mother’s problems? Look, I know it’s none of my business, really, but I care about you and your family.” Delores sighed. “I watched you and Buffy today. It was like you were the adult and she was the kid.”

The Slayer turned to look at her friend before turning to look at the floor. It was true, well, at least since Spike had left that she felt like she had to make sure that everything was okay. To run interference when there was stress between anybody in the house and trying to appease everyone.

“Sometimes it feels that way but mostly it’s just checking things off. And most of the time she’s fine and still in Mum mode which is cool because it’s then that she still takes care of us. I know that with Dad gone, she’s stressed out because everyone is just putting her under a microscope waiting for something to happen. It’s like relax people, you can’t tell, it’s like a light switch, one minute she’s Buffy and then next she’s dark Mummy. Elijah calls her that. All she wants is to be with her friends and Dad and us and have a good time. So, I like to make sure everything is smooth.”

“Big burden for one so young,” Delores replied, running her hand down Raven’s hair and patting her back.

“So, is slaying and you just do what you have to do. Come on; let’s go catch up with the others.”

“Catch up with Connor, you mean.”

Raven grinned because it was true. She appreciated the chance to talk to Delores a little and know that someone else cared but right now, she was fifteen, she was in the mall with Connor, and she wanted to have some fun before going home.

November 27, 2007 5:15 PM

The house was quiet as Willow walked in. There were no sounds of laughter from the kids, no television blaring and no puppy skittering down the hallway to check out who was there. It was eerily quiet and the witch hesitated in the front hall trying to ascertain if everything was all right before venturing any further. She almost jumped when she finally did hear a noise, a tea cup clinking against a saucer and Willow relaxed. Giles and from the sound of it he was in the kitchen. Hurrying she made her way down the hallway, her heels sounding unusually loud on the wood floor.

“Hey, Giles, where is everybody? Had me scared there for a minute, I thought the house was empty.”

The Watcher looked up at her with so much sadness in his eyes that Willow once again thought something had happened. A bark from the backyard led the red head to the window to see if that was where everyone was. Candy was running madly around the yard with some kind of cape tied to her back, and after emitting a small gasp, Willow accepted the sight before her. Buffy and Elijah were building a mud castle in the middle of the back yard. The grass was torn up to make room for their creation and around them were a dozen action figures and Barbie dolls.

“What are they doing?” Willow turned to look at Giles but he had come up beside her without her even noticing.

“Playing some type of imaginary game. Raven said it started last weekend but it has been getting more elaborate every day.”

“What did Buffy say about it?”

“Just that she was playing with her child and it was none of my business what the game was.”

“Ouch. Is she…you know?” Willow looked up the man who considered himself Buffy’s father, knowing that he had to be hurt by her words. And as much as she hated to admit in a way Willow hoped that Buffy was having an episode so that it wouldn’t hurt the Watcher as much.

“No, she’s not. This might be a symptom of everything, the wanting to play like a child, but no she is clearly lucid. And actually, maybe, we shouldn’t read so much into it. If she is afraid that she might lose this battle, maybe she wants to spend as much time with Elijah as possible, to leave him with good memories.”

“Yeah, that would definitely leave him remembering her with good feelings. My parents certainly never did things like that. So, we take this as a good thing and not something to worry about. Right?”

Giles placed an arm around the woman that he also considered a daughter and laughed softly.

“Yeah, we won’t borrow trouble until we have to, so yes, this will be a good thing.”

November 27, 2007 5:55 PM

After a quick glance at her watch, Buffy turned to her son, “Time to start cleaning up. You need to get in the bathtub while I find something for dinner.”

“Hot dogs,” Elijah responded hopefully.

Laughing at her son’s easy appetite, she began to put the dolls in the crate for them to be washed off later. The mud they had been building their castle with had gotten all over everything.

“Maybe,” Buffy said. “Maybe chili dogs and french fries.”

“Yeah.”

The two had finished putting the dolls in the crate and Buffy told Elijah to put them on the back porch while she gathered the gardening tools to be washed also. Whistling for Candy, Buffy untied the cape from her back before telling her to do her business before they went in. The back door slammed shut and Buffy looked up to see Willow coming her way. Taking in her friend’s neat and business like attire; Buffy unconsciously wiped the mud from her hands and looked away.

“Hey, Buffy, looks like you guys are finishing up.”

“We are. Eli needs to take a bath while I fix dinner.”

“Sounds good. It’s gonna be dark soon.”

The remark was probably just a random comment but to Buffy, it was an insult, a comment that meant she was incompetent. Straightening she turned to her friend.

“Look, I know it’s going to be dark soon. That’s why we are cleaning up. I know that Elijah needs to take a bath and that I need to find something for dinner. And I know that grown ups aren’t supposed to play in the mud. All right? I’m fine and I don’t need you to mother me.” Buffy held her arms to her son and when he rushed to her side, she picked him up and hurried into the house, leaving Willow to stare after her.

”You okay, Mummy?”

“Yeah, Sweetie, Mummy’s fine. Just tired that’s all.”

It took only a few minutes to get the tub running and her son into the water with some bath toys before she moved across the hall to change her clothes. The quick wash she gave her hands and face would have to do until she had time for a shower later.

“Buffy, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.” Willow said, standing nervously in the doorway to the master bedroom. “I just don’t seem to know what to do or say anymore.”

Buffy sighed as she pulled a clean T-shirt over her head and reached for a pair of Spike’s sweat pants. Big and comfy was all she was looking for, she told herself, trying to still get over the feeling that she was unattractive. The comfortable clothes, the growing stomach, the desire not even to put make up on anymore. Tears gathered in her eyes when she remembered calling herself plain in front of Spike and he hadn’t argued with her. And there Willow stood, in her nice suit, fixed hair and perfect make up on, trying to tell her that Buffy was making her nervous. Buffy could feel the dizzy feeling coming over her. It was funny that it always happened when she was really stressed or really relaxed but this time she fought it.

“Go home, Willow, take your stuff and leave,” Buffy said, turning to sit on the edge of the bed. She didn’t want her friends to be her guards. She wanted them to be friends. There had to be another way.

“No, I’m not. I told Spike that I would stay and I will. I said I was sorry and I am.”

“Willow, go home, while we are still friends.” Willow walked toward her and it was too much. She couldn’t do this anymore. If this kept up, she may as well be in an institution being monitored twenty-four hours a day. Her emotions bubbled over and she couldn’t seem to stop the words that came next. “Get the fuck out of my house before I call the police and have you thrown out.”

This time Willow left, turning her on her perfect little heels and clacking down the hall. Buffy breathed a sigh of relief and stood to go and help her son finish his bath.

November 27, 2007 6:25 PM

Willow hadn’t left. She couldn’t leave Buffy and Elijah alone, so she sat in the rocker on the front porch and waited. She had called Xander first, hoping that he could talk to Buffy and the other call was to Raven who was already on the way home. A quick protection spell was put on Elijah, just in case, because Willow wasn’t sure if Buffy was just tired and cranky or if she was slipping into an episode. Either way she knew her presence was only making the situation worse.

The first night had gone all right. The two friends had talked, trying to get caught up on things that were happening in the family, talked about everything but what was happening to Buffy. Willow knew that Buffy felt like she was being watched all the time and had tried to stay away from any remarks that could be construed as her thinking Buffy wasn’t in control. From what she had seen Buffy was in control. Maybe just stressed and she wasn’t sure what had upset Buffy tonight.

Sighing, Willow rested her head on the back of the chair and listened to the sounds from in the house; Buffy and Elijah talking, the radio coming on, and Candy barking about something. With relief the minivan pulled into the driveway with Connor at the wheel. Everyone climbed out and hurried toward the house with worried expressions. As they gathered on the porch, Xander’s car pulled in.

“What happened? Are they all right?” Raven asked.

“They’re fine. I think they’re in the kitchen fixing dinner. She kicked me out and said she’d call the police to make me leave if I didn’t.” Willow explained.

“Did the two of you fight or something?” Xander asked as he joined everyone.

Willow shook her head. “Buffy and Elijah were playing in the backyard and I went out to talk to them and let Buffy know I was here and I said something about it getting dark and she snapped. I mean snapped at me, not, you know, snapped.”

As Willow talked to the others and they tried to figure out what was going on, they didn’t notice Delores slipping into the house.

November 27, 2007 6:35 PM

After placing a kiss on her son’s head and a plate of raw vegetables on the table at the same time, Buffy smiled before returning to the stove to stir the chili. She looked up as Delores walked into the room and felt relief flood her system. After ordering Willow out, she realized that she had just set herself up for more stress because word would quickly spread through the family about what she had done and she would have to explain herself to all of them. But worse than all of that was that she knew Spike would be angry with her and that she couldn’t handle.

“Hi, Buffy, how you doing?” Delores asked as she walked over to snitch a carrot from the plate in front of Elijah. Doing a double take she looked at the purple goop that the boy was dipping his vegetables in. “What in the world is that?”

“Ranch dressing,” Buffy laughed. “I know it’s horrible but if he likes it.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Do you mind if we talk for a minute? Promise no pressure or lectures.”

Warily Buffy looked at the older woman and couldn’t see any censure in her eyes so she nodded her agreement.

“Your sister and everybody are on the porch, Eli, why don’t you take your veggies out there?”

“It’s okay, honey,” Buffy told the boy when he looked at her for approval and once he received it, he grabbed the plate and ran out. “No, running and watch out for Candy.” Turning to Delores, she added, “The dog will run under your feet to try to beat you to where you are going. So, what’s up?”

Delores joined her by the stove and began to pull buns out of the package to pile on a platter.

”Do you have enough for everybody or do you want me to send the boys out?”

“Everybody’s still here?”

“Yes, and Willow is on the porch and Xander showed up.”

“Great,” Buffy replied, turning to head for the freezer where she grabbed a couple more packages of hot dogs and buns. “I assume the guys will stay but Willow and Xander probably won’t.”

The two women worked in silence for a few minutes as Buffy added more hot dogs to a pot of boiling water and Delores put the buns in the microwave to thaw.

“I talked to Raven some today. She is feeling a little overwhelmed and I can see that you are, too. Go ahead and say it if you feel like it, that I am an interfering old busybody who should mind her own business.”

Buffy giggled, surprising her neighbor with a hug. “No, but I’m glad that you’re open to some honesty at least.”

“You get to my age and it’s really all that matters.”

“I’ve been worried about Raven.” Buffy said, turning to lean against the counter and returned Delores’s smile. “She’s trying so hard to be an adult but she shouldn’t have to. The slaying is enough without trying to take care of everything else. Spike doesn’t want me doing anything but Raven and Sean don’t need to worry about it either. It’s a vicious cycle around here with everyone trying to take care of me and the house.” Her hands unconsciously rubbed her stomach.

“Well, I’ve been doing some thinking since talking to Raven. And please accept this in the spirit it’s offered. Hire me.”

“Huh?”

“Simple really, that’s what I did before I retired. I ran people’s households, worked at a couple of the mansions on Crawford Street. Hire me to take care of the things that are overwhelming everyone else. I’m assuming that you haven’t hired anyone outside to do it because of the unusual circumstances, I mean, Spike, you and Raven, Elijah’s powers not the your illness. But I already know about all those things so you wouldn’t have to worry about me finding out.”

Stunned Buffy could only stare at Delores for a moment while the idea ran through her mind. She was right about the outside help because she and Spike had discussed it but it had been dismissed because there was no way they could hide that much of their lives.

“What exactly would you do?” Buffy laughed, nervous because she hadn’t done this before and wasn’t sure what she was supposed to ask.

“Well, I can help out with the meals, and the kids, baby-sit Eli in the afternoons if you have errands or just need to rest, do laundry and light housekeeping. Mrs. Davis’s daughter-in-law runs a cleaning business and we can ask her to come over once or twice a week to do the rest of the cleaning. It will give the rest of you the time to deal with what you need to. And if you like I can stay here while Spike is gone so you’re friends don’t have too.”

It felt like a gift to Buffy and she couldn’t help it as the tears flowed down her cheeks. It was freedom from guilt for her and freedom from her friends having to watch her and freedom for her husband and kids having to take care of the house.

“Are you sure you want to do this? We can get pretty rambunctious around here and well, there’s what’s going on with me.”

Delores took her hands and squeezed them. “Buffy, I’m a big girl and it doesn’t scare me. We’ll just deal with things as they happen.”

“Thank you, please, we need the help.”

Relief flooded Buffy as she realized that she didn’t have to force herself to be ‘normal’ anymore. She could let whatever was going on with her, ebb and flow as it came because things would be taken care of. She released a sigh as she turned her house over to the woman in front of her.

The two women chattered as they set the table for dinner, working in harmony and finishing settling the arrangements of what exactly Del’s ‘duties’ would be but Buffy felt more relaxed than she had been in days and couldn’t wait to tell everyone of the plan. Maybe her friends could be her friends again and Spike would be able to relax and all of them could just enjoy being together for a change.

TBC