November 30, 2007 6:40 AM

It was another morning that Buffy lay awake waiting for the sun to peek over the horizon, giving her permission to finally rise and start her day. This morning, however, was a reluctant moving because her body was wrapped around the sprawled form of her husband. One leg was thrown over his, her toes tucked under his calf while her hand rested on his belly, enjoying the gentle rise and fall as he breathed and her ear listened to the steady beat of his heart.

Spike hadn’t fallen asleep until after three, as they had continued to make up for lost time by enjoying the pleasure of each other’s body. After they had regained their equanimity from the first session, they had pulled out the sofa bed only to find that it was broken. Spike had complained that Angel must have done it because he and Cordelia had been the only ones to have slept on it. After a few curses and a muttered threat that Angel could replace it, they had found that it being broken was actually a help to their continued games.

Buffy smiled as she remembered their passionate love making. It was like they had gone through the prerequisites of a bad porn movie, first they had done the face-to-face coupling, and since they had skipped the cunnilingus, instead of just the obligatory blow job, they decided to sixty-nine it. The bed’s continual attempts to curl up helped Spike in reaching her and to keep them from folding completely his feet pushed against the back of the sofa. His spread feet gave her the space needed to completely satisfy him with her mouth and fingers.

After they had both achieved satisfaction they had lain there, his foot resting on her belly while his toes fondled her nipple. While Spike thus occupied himself, Buffy would run her hand along his leg. They didn’t really talk, just basked in the glow of being together until he decided that one more time ought to complete their night and had attempted to drape her over the back of the couch for the finale of anal sex. Except as he moved behind her the bed collapsed beneath them and he found himself with his face against her bottom because she had held onto the back of the couch. Shaking with uncontrollable laughter they had climbed out of the ruins of the couch, pulled the mattress to the middle of the floor, and finished out with very routine, but very pleasurable, sex with her on top. Shortly afterwards, Spike had fallen asleep while Buffy had waited for the night to be over.

Now, as the sun began to light the room, Buffy untangled herself and moved about the room, shutting the blinds so Spike could continue to sleep. She pulled her pajamas on and hurried upstairs to take a long shower before the children had to be roused for school. Spending the night making love and laughing with Spike had given Buffy a renewed sense of vigor and she decided to put a little extra into her appearance than she had been. The new pair of faded maternity jeans fit snugly around her hips but was comfortable on her growing stomach and, the borrowed from Spike, black cable crewneck sweater hung loosely around her thighs giving her plenty of moving room. She ran her hand over the softness of the cashmere as she returned to her vanity. For the first time in days she applied makeup and blew dry her hair so that it hung tousled around her shoulders.

“Mum, is it time to get up?” Raven asked, peering out from underneath the comforter.

“Just about and no one else is up if you want to get to the bathroom first.”

That moved the teenager out from her cocoon as she hurried to take her own shower. Buffy laughed at the thought that poor Sean would probably have to take his shower downstairs since Raven took forever in the morning. She could hear Delores calling Elijah before moving downstairs. After giving herself one last look, Buffy hurried to the kitchen. The newest member of the household already had coffee brewing and Candy fed when she arrived.

“Just getting the tea kettle on,” Del said, smiling at Buffy.

“Thanks,” Buffy replied, heading for the pantry. “I think I’m going to make the kids pancakes this morning.”

“You’re in a good mood this morning. Wouldn’t have anything to do with the study being closed now would it?”

Giggling Buffy unloaded ingredients on the counter and grabbed a bowl from the cabinet.

“Probably does, he got a flight last night instead of waiting for this morning.”

“Dad’s home?” Sean asked, walking through the kitchen and carrying clean clothes.

“Yes, he is.”

“Cool,” Sean said. “And good morning,” he added, before going into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

After breakfast and a few complaints about not being able to miss two days in a row, especially since it was Friday, they finally got out the door. Delores drove while Buffy rode beside her in the passenger seat. They were adding Del to the emergency lists at the schools so that she could pick up the children and Buffy wanted to make sure that the elementary school was warned to be extra watchful over Elijah. Dropping Elijah and getting things settled at his school was easy. It was when they arrived en masse at the high school that things became more difficult. Raven wanted to run off to find her friends while Buffy wanted her to accompany them to the office. Clearly embarrassed and put out the teen reluctantly followed her family, tagging behind and trying to appear as if she wasn’t actually with them.

Buffy found that she still knew a few teachers they encountered on the way and made conversation, introducing her children while Raven grew more mortified. Sean just joked along with Buffy and Del because he thought it was great to have family and secretly, he was enjoying Raven squirm. By the time the chore was done and they were standing in the main hall of the school saying good-bye, Buffy couldn’t help it. She grabbed her daughter in a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek, made a joke about her behaving and made a grand exit with a smiling Del, while the Slayer swore vengeance on her mother.

For Buffy, it was turning out to be a great day.

~~~~~~~~~

November 30, 2007 3:24 PM

The room was becoming unbearably warm as it did from the afternoon sun and Spike turned over, throwing the afghan off of him while his hand searched the mattress beside him. Buffy wasn’t there and he sighed. Since the pregnancy it was rare that they would wake up together. Her nights were too restless now and he was learning to just be grateful if she stayed long enough to fall asleep with him or until he fell asleep. He forced his eyes open to look for the clock and when he found out that most of the day was gone, he chuckled. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept this long. The time of leisure was almost decadent to him and he stretched lazily and yawned. The house was quiet and no one had woken him so everything had to be running smoothly.

Spike stood, searching for his jeans and once he found them, pulled them on along with his T-shirt and headed for the kitchen. His body was demanding not only blood but food. One of the pit falls of being a hybrid and it was always which hunger was driving him the most that was sated first. This time it was for blood and he opened the refrigerator to grab a packet out. He sighed when he realized one was missing from the last time he had been home. It meant that Buffy had drunk some while he was gone and it hurt that she had to make do with reheated blood instead of being able to drink from him. Because she would have needed his reassurance as much as or probably more than she needed the sustenance from it.

Taking a packet out and draining it into a mug, he then popped it into the microwave to heat. While waiting he grabbed the note that he had noticed stuck on the frig by a silly Mickey Mouse magnet Buffy had gotten at Disneyland. He leaned against the counter and read the note Buffy had left for him.

Hey, Gorgeous,

Didn’t want to disturb you, so I left
you alone. Del and I have gone to
the grocery store. Elijah is with us
and the two teen terrors should be
around somewhere. Don’t worry.
Del has a cell phone and has been
shown all the codes in case I go
psycho while we’re gone. Joke,
smile.

All my love,

Your wife,

Buffy

P.S. The cell phone guy wants
to go ahead and set the baby up
with a phone. I think we bought
his house for him.

Spike laughed after reading it and tossed it on the counter. He took the mug out and drained it in several gulps, satisfying the most pressing need he had. Deciding to find the ‘teen terrors’ before hunting down solid food, he headed upstairs. As he reached the top of the stairs, he could their laughter and voices coming from Raven’s room. Her door was slightly ajar, so he pushed it open and the grin on his face dissipated into a scowl at the scene in front of him. Sean was sprawled out on Raven’s bed while she stood beside it, pulling jeans over her hips. Her upper body was clad only in a lacy bra and they both turned frightened eyes at him as he growled and vamped out.

“You son of a bitch,” Spike snarled, grabbing Sean’s shirt front and throwing the boy out into the hallway.

Sean hit the wall, several feet from the ground, and fell heavily to the floor with a dazed look in his eyes. But Spike didn’t notice. His emotions never unleashed before on his children were out of his control as he headed for the boy again.

“We took you into our home and this is how you repay us? By fucking Raven again,” Spike shouted.

“Daddy, leave him alone,” Raven cried, grabbing his arm.

Spike shook her hand off and he bent to grab Sean again but instead found himself on the floor a few feet away. His eyes narrowed as he stared at Raven, unbelieving that his daughter had used her Slayer strength against him. He stood, shaking, and advanced toward them again. Raven crouched beside Sean, protecting him.

“Get out of my way, Raven.”

“No,” Raven cried, her eyes filling with tears, her gaze broke from her father to look at Sean. “Tell him.”

The front door opened but Spike ignored it. He was too intent on getting to Sean and then kicking him out. At this point he didn’t care where the kid went as long as he wasn’t in his house.

“Spike, what’s going on?” Buffy called.

Spike’s glanced down the stairs at his wife but returned his attention to his children. Their fear was heavy in the air and they were both crying. Reason was starting to seep into his brain but Raven’s defiance was only adding fuel to an already burning fire.

“For the last time get out of my way, Raven, or I’ll make you move,” Spike warned.

“No, I am not going to fucking move,” Raven shouted. “You get the hell away from us.” Turning she clutched Sean’s arm. “Please, just tell him.”

If this was the way his daughter wanted it to go, then he could do it this way. Spike wrapped his hands around her arms and pulled her away from Sean. She struggled against him but her emotions were strong and that was always Raven’s downfall in a fight. Spike easily pushed her away but when he turned back to Sean, he found his wife between them.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Sean was fucking our daughter,” Spike said, trying to step around Buffy, but was blocked by her arm. He sighed knowing that he wouldn’t lay a hand on Buffy in her condition. “Buffy, let me handle it.”

“We weren’t fucking,” Raven screamed and took advantage of Buffy being there to slip past her parents to be with Sean.

“Spike, calm down,” Buffy said, her hands stroking his face in an effort to soothe him.

Throwing his head back, Spike tried to gain control of himself. He had trusted the boy. He had trusted Raven. And he knew that the fault couldn’t be laid at just the boy’s feet because Raven was a flamboyant girl and loved showing off her blossoming body. But it was him. The human in him, William born in a repressed Victorian age that still felt it was the man’s responsibility for what happened.

“I want him out of the house now,” Spike said, looking at Buffy again.

“God damn it, Daddy, where the hell is he going to go?” Raven said. “Sean, please just tell him.”

“It doesn’t matter. Either way I am out of here,” Sean said, struggling to stand.

Spike watched the boy as he moved toward his room and noticed the slump of Sean’s shoulders and the heartbreak in his eyes as he looked at the man he had called father. Turning toward Raven’s room, Spike sniffed the air and realized that there was no smell of sex in the air or arousal on them. His mind began to rapidly put together all the things that had told him that Sean still had a secret from them and the answer slammed into him. Sighing, he looked down at Buffy and Raven and for the first time noticed Del and Elijah on the stairs watching.

“Go downstairs. All of you,” Spike said. “Let me talk to Sean alone.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m leaving you alone with him,” Raven said.

“Raven, finish dressing and go downstairs with your mother.”

“Raven, do it,” Buffy said, turning to Spike, she asked. “Are you okay?”

Raven flounced by both of them into her room.

“Yeah,” Spike answered, rubbing his eyes. “It will be fine. Just let me talk to him, okay?”

Buffy nodded and waited for Raven and the others to precede her down the stairs before following them. Taking a moment to get his emotions under control, Spike hesitated in the hall before stepping into Sean’s room. The teenager had the backpack he had shown up with, open on the bed, while he sorted through the dresser looking for the clothes he had come with.

“Stop packing,” Spike said, stepping over to him and laying a hand on his arm. He hated himself when Sean flinched. “I’m sorry. I…I never should have done that. Hurt you. Didn’t mean to.” Sighing, Spike sat on the bed, watching Sean frozen at the dresser except for one hand that ran nervously along the edge. “Always been a problem with Buffy and me. Both of us too hot headed and too used to fighting. And hell, until six months ago, never really thought of myself being a parent much less dealing with shit like this. Have no bleedin’ clue what I’m doing.”

“Never really dealt with this stuff either,” Sean said, looking back at his father.

Feeling better that Sean didn’t completely hate him at the moment Spike leaned forward on his elbows and buried his face in his hands. This conversation wasn’t going to be easy and like he said he had no idea of what to say except to be honest.

“Are you and Raven having sex?”

“No, only that one time.”

“Sean, I don’t know how to ask this, except just to ask. Are you gay?” Spike could see the fear in his son’s eyes and he no longer needed a verbal confirmation. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Thought you’d kick me out,” Sean mumbled. “That’s why my parents didn’t want me around.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Spike said, his voice sure so that Sean wouldn’t have any doubts about it at all. Of all people who could understand the teen it would be him. Feeling unsure of fitting in, that was something that William could definitely understand and relate to. Even now with a family around him and women asking for his autograph and offering him sex, he still wondered why anyone would want him much less love and accept him. Only three people in the world knew who Spike really was, Buffy, Angel and Drusilla. Everyone else only knew pieces. And only Buffy understood the man who hid beneath the surface and loved him in spite of it.

Spike stood and wandered to the window, leaning against the frame, to stare out over the backyard. He smiled as he watched Elijah and Candy playing tag, while Buffy and Raven lay beside each on the hammock talking. The next part of this conversation was going to be hard but he knew that Sean needed it and he supposed that was part of being a parent.

“I was serious when I said that you weren’t going anywhere. So, you may as well quit hovering over there and take a seat.” Spike said, looking over his shoulder at Sean and waited until the brownie had sat on the edge of the bed. Spike sighed and returned his gaze to the backyard. “Buffy and me, we’ve seen too many things and lost too many people to judge someone based on something like that. I’m sorry that we didn’t get that point across too well.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I knew that there was something that you hadn’t told us but this place is always having a crisis of some sort and I let it slide. Like I said I’m taking this parenting thing on a day to day, you know what I mean?”

There was only silence behind him but he knew that Sean was listening. The fear was slowly losing it potency and hope was taking its place. Spike took a deep breath and figured that he may as well just throw it out there and they could sort their way through it.

“I’ve been with men myself.”

Spike almost laughed as Sean audibly turned and stared at him for a moment.

“You have? Are you…bisexual?”

“Never really labeled what it was. Back when I was human, I was pretty prissy but never had an attraction to men. Of course, back then, you didn’t talk about it. I doubted I even knew that men could do it with each other. It was after I was vamped that…it happened.” Hesitating Spike took a moment to think of how much he was going to tell Sean. He didn’t want to leave the teen with bad impressions but yet he wanted to tell him as much of the truth as he could. “It’s different with vampires. Sex, no matter if you’re with a male or female, can be about power and domination. Plus, there is the added bonus of no morals and taking what you want. I’m only telling you that so that you understand that it wasn’t a choice I made at first. But after I was introduced to that side of things, it was something that I enjoyed and even pursued at times. Vampires can be a rather passionate crowd and it was always like a candy store.”

“Hoping that I don’t think you’re gay?”

“Not that. Just want you to know where I’m coming from. Never thought of myself as gay or bisexual. Just liked sex and at times it didn’t matter who with. If that makes me bi then I guess I am.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been with a man?”

“Probably eleven years or more. Before I came to Sunnydale the first time. And after that it was me trying to hold onto Drusilla or impress Buffy. And there was Harmony to keep me company sometimes.” Spike said, deliberately leaving off that time when Angelus had returned for awhile. That was information that his son never needed to know.

“So, do you miss having sex with men,” Sean mumbled, the flush on his face giving away his embarrassment of asking his father something so personal.

Spike turned from the window and sat on the sill with his arms folded across his chest. He contemplated his son and knew what he was getting at; was sex with men good and was it different than being with women.

“Yeah, sometimes,” Spike answered. “Different approaches, different feel. Have you dated or been with someone?”

It was Sean’s turn to laugh, “No, not really. Raven, few minutes ago, nothing. The girls at school, nothing. There was a guy at school back home. We flirted and stuff but we never worked up to anything else because the shit hit the fan and exploded when I told my parents.”

“Same thing we told you before and what we’ve told Raven.” Spike said and came to sit on the bed beside him. “And this is all Buffy lecture, be open with us, sex is better with someone you love and don’t be in a hurry because it’s not worth the consequences. Oh, and get Buffy to elaborate on that because she has the ultimate story to keep you from wanting to have sex. This is me now but I’m sure Buffy will agree. Talk to Willow and Tara because they probably know more about gay life in Sunnydale. Don’t worry about the rest of the family. They’ll deal. You’ll get stories that will turn you gray on their dating experiences so be prepared. And we love you, okay?”

“Thanks, I love you guys too.”

“Forgive me for throwing you across the room?”

“Yeah,” Sean said, “This time. Next time let Rave get in trouble. She was the one prancing around half naked not me.”

“That girl is getting kind of risqué, isn’t she?”

They both shook their heads as they thought of Raven and her need for attention. Sighing, they looked at each other and laughed.

“Come on,” Spike said. “Let’s go join them in the backyard. Hopefully, Buffy talked to her.”

“Won’t do no good,” Sean said, standing and leading the way. “Rave is so positive that she is the queen shit.”

“Language,” Spike chided, following. “The two of you have the foulest mouths and need your mouths washed out with soap.”

“Get it from you, Dad, get it from you.”

Maybe it’s not too bad being a parent, Spike thought. He had gotten through his first official talk with Sean and it seemed to have turned out well. The boy didn’t seem scarred by it and maybe he helped him to feel more accepted with them. That had been what Spike had wanted. That Sean felt that he could be who he was and still be loved and he felt that he had accomplished his goal.

~~~~~~~~~

November 30, 2007 4:17 PM

Elijah ran by them again, his arms out, imitating an airplane and Candy barked while continuing to chase him.

“He’s going to give that dog a heart attack,” Raven complained. “Come here, Candy, come here.”
Upon hearing her name, the dog looked up the two women on the hammock, then as if deciding the boy was more interesting, took off running again. “Bitch.”

Buffy sighed and pushed her hair away from her face. “I just told you to watch your mouth.”

“Oh God, Mum, she’s a female dog and a female dog is a bitch.”

“And that’s not how you meant it.”

“Whatever,” Raven said, screwing up her face before turning to look at Buffy again. She laid her hand on her mum’s burgeoning stomach. “Have you felt it move yet?”

“Not yet, and the baby is not an it,” Buffy said sternly.

“I know, Mum. Have you asked Eli lately the sex of the baby?”

“Don’t know if I want to know.”

Dr. Parker had said at the next appointment that she wanted to do another sonogram and this time they might be able to see the baby kick or suck its thumb and if it was positioned right, she could probably tell the sex. Buffy wasn’t sure she wanted to know, it was something that she and Spike hadn’t discussed yet. A sigh rolled through her because she had several things to discuss with her husband and wished that things were easier.

The back door slammed and the man on her mind strolled out with their son beside him and she couldn’t help but smile. The big bad walking in flip flops next to his son, it was quite a change from when she had first known him. The years had molded the evil vampire into this and she felt her heart skip at the love she felt. Spike lay on the hammock next to her, burying his face in her hair and his hand trailed along her hip and settled over their baby and Buffy sighed.

“Miss me?” He asked, kissing her neck, hair and all.

Buffy nodded and reluctantly turned her attention to their bickering teens.

“Fine, Mum didn’t even blink an eye when I told her you were gay. And now you get all this support and love and I get lectured,” Raven complained.

Sean laughed as he joined them on the hammock, laying on his back next to his sister and gently started to swing them.

“Gee, poor baby, what did Mum yell at you about?”

“Oh, let me see if I get this right.” Raven started, glanced at her mother for a second before turning on her side toward Sean. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Mum. Even if you are gay, I shouldn’t be running around dressing in front of you; especially in light of our previous relationship. Besides it’s not lady like.” She snorted before continuing. “Then it moved onto that I’m trying to dress and act older than I am. Oh, yeah, actually I am starting to dress a little too provocative and it needs to stop.”

“Amen,” Spike muttered.

“Thanks, Dad. I’m borrowing your wife’s clothes.”

“Raven,” Sean said. “She’s a grown up. You’re fifteen and my opinion; you’re acting like a bitch in heat lately. Try masturbating it might help take the edge off.”

Raven smacked Sean on the leg while Buffy tried to remain calm but Spike burst out laughing.

“Good God, tell the kid he’s loved and he completely opens up.” Spike said.

“Sean,” Buffy said, trying to use a parenting tone but lost to the giggles when Spike started laughing again. “Come on, stop it Spike. Don’t talk to your sister like that, Sean. I just got onto her about her language too. Besides its not nice to say things like that.”

“Sorry,” Sean said, trying to sound contrite but he couldn’t get rid of the grin as Raven continued to pout.

The back door opened again and Delores stepped out onto the porch.

“Sean, Raven, Elijah,” Del called. “It’s time to come in. Homework, chores, move it.”

Elijah ran for the house while Raven and Sean followed more slowly. They started to quarrel again about being lectured and doing chores as they went. Buffy reached out for Spike’s hand, entwining their fingers to let him know to stay. She had told Del earlier that she need to talk to Spike and knew the older woman was giving them time alone so Buffy could tell him what she needed to.

“I knew that I liked her. Too bad they can see us,” Spike whispered, curling closer to Buffy’s back, allowing his pelvis to settle against her bottom.

“Spike,” Buffy started, noting the tension that flowed into his body at just that one word. “It’s okay. Not too bad.” She waited until he relaxed again and mumbled ‘sorry’ before kissing her shoulder. “When you were gone, I was trying to meditate and had a vision.” Buffy went on and explained the farmhouse and the dead couple to him. “I talked to Sara about it and she agreed that it might have been one of your memories.”

“Could be. Dru and I pretty much kept to cities. More food and more shelter and besides too much silence made her worse but we went through a lot of farm country along the way. Don’t remember all the kills we did.”

Buffy nodded and said, “Sara wants to try hypnosis on me. She said that my subconscious still might be trying to process all your memories because they came so fast and everything. And by hypnotizing me she might be able to help me finish processing them and than put them away somewhere inside me.”

“You’d forget them?”

Buffy could hear the hurt in his voice. Her knowing his past so intimately was a link in the chain that bound them together. Turning onto her back, Buffy cupped her husband’s cheek. “I know. I don’t want to forget them. She says that she might be able to fix it so that I’d remember but it would be like you told me about them and not something I lived through.”

“She thinks this might be the problems you’ve been having? That by living my life its made part of you think that you’re a vampire or something.”

“It could be one of the explanations but I don’t know. She said that my mind might still be running scenarios and that’s why I saw the shadows on Thanksgiving.”

“When does she want to do this?”

“Next Wednesday. And she wants to talk to you and Giles about the ritual and have you there when she does it. Maybe when I’m under I might say something that would help us figuring out what’s wrong with me; something she wouldn’t pick up on.”

Buffy was relieved when he only nodded. She hadn’t really thought that he would have a problem with it but it was good to have him confirm it. Her eyes filled with tears as she pulled him closer to her. He rubbed his nose against hers before kissing her and she relaxed against him, wrapping her arms around him. It was safe against him and she hoped that by next Thursday that her problems would be gone. They lay there for a while just holding each other until they were called to come in for dinner and it was time to join their family. The only place they wanted to be.

TBC