December 23, 2007 10:45 AM

As tiny fingers slipped into his back pocket, Spike took a step back, allowing Buffy’s petite frame to mold against his side. His arm slipped around her waist and he kissed her cheek.

“Everything okay, Shadow?”

“Yeah, just a lot of people around,” Buffy answered.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

Buffy shook her head and smiled at him.

“Sir,” an impatient sales clerk said, interrupting the moment.

Spike reached for the bag that the man held, slipped it into the larger shopping bag and maneuvered them out of the jewelry store. Since he had returned home, husband and wife hadn’t been out of each other’s sight for more than a few minutes. If she slept, he slept and if she was awake, he was awake. She would look for him if he wasn’t near her, so he never went very far. Her hand was often in his, holding onto his belt or buried in his pocket and without question he was there for her. It wasn’t because she couldn’t bear to be without him. It was because she was afraid that he was going to leave her alone and unprotected. His guilt had increased when he realized that he had only made her insecurity worse.

“Where to now?” Spike asked, as his wife looked around the mall.

“Electronics, Sean said something about a new video game last night.”

Pulling her close, Spike began the walk to the nearest store that would sell the games. It was really too crowded to be there but Buffy had woken with some last minute things she had wanted to get for the children. She had done most of the shopping online but had seemed eager to get out and do some of it in person. Despite the crowds, Buffy seemed to be coping well; he just wanted to make sure they didn’t get separated.

“Spike, look,” Buffy said, stopping suddenly and pointing in a window.

On display was a women’s black leather duster and he immediately thought of Raven. After a closer inspection of it, it was added to the things they had purchased, along with a leather bomber jacket for Sean and a few wallets for the men in the family. Buffy did know fashion and quality so Spike let her have reign over the gift selections.

It was coming out of the store that Spike found a snag for their plans and looked around trying to decide what to do.

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh, too much coffee this morning,” Spike answered, coming to a decision. “I can wait.”

“Oh,” Buffy said, pulling him toward the food court. “I know you can’t stand to be away from me, but I think you can manage to go potty by yourself. Mummy will be waiting right outside for you.”

Spike laughed along with her even though he could smell the panic racing through her. Confronting her would only hurt her and make her defensive and, deciding to play along, he found a chair for her to sit on right outside the door, put her cell phone in her hand and the shopping bags between her feet.

“If something, anything happens, the radio is set, call me,” Spike instructed, dropped a kiss on her forehead and hurried into the bathroom.

Fortunately, the bathroom wasn’t crowded and it took him only a couple of minutes before he was walking toward Buffy again. He tilted his head when he realized that she was on the phone. Curious, he knelt in front of her, resting his elbows on her knees and her free hand ran through his hair.

“Yeah,” Buffy said, “I want you here.” There was a brief pause before she continued, “Hold on. Talk to Spike.” She handed the phone to him. “It’s Max. I told him to come for Christmas if he can get here.”

“Hey, Max, whatcha doing?”

“Comparing, boring as hell, surveillance tapes of the bookstore, the hotel and will be adding the airport and the hotel in Miami.”

“Miami?”

“Think about, Spike,” Max answered, excitement encroaching into his voice. “After we checked into the hotel in Miami, remember, we took the walk on the beach. And you decided to show off that scrawny chest of yours to the natives.”

“And what does this have to do with…” Spike said, glancing up at Buffy and changing his words, “everything?”

“Well, since you said that you were a good boy, then how would she know about the scar unless she saw it? And as far as I know that was the only time that she would see it, unless she’s been in Sunnydale.”

“You think she followed us?”

“I think it’s a possibility. And, oh yeah, the bartender said he remembered a woman hanging around most of the night that you and I were there. We’ve got a composite drawing of her.” Max hesitated for a moment. “Is Buffy serious?”

Spike smiled at the longing in his friend’s voice.

“Yeah, she is, she wouldn’t have called you unless she was. So, bump some poor family man off a flight and get over here. That stuff will wait until after Christmas.”

After a few more minutes of talking, Max said he would try to be there and call them later to let them know if he was coming or not. After clicking the phone off, Spike leaned his head forward against Buffy’s belly and let her hands massage his shoulders.

“So, is he coming?”

Standing, Spike gathered up the bags before reaching for her hand. “He is going to try. Now, where were we? Electronics, come on.”

Holding tightly to one another, they disappeared back into the holiday shopping frenzy. To the casual observer, they were just an average couple out purchasing last minute presents for their family and not what they really were, a reformed vampire and his Slayer trying to hold onto the life they had built.

December 23, 2007 9:25 PM

Spike was somewhere between sleep and wakefulness; the warm water lulling him under as he leaned his head against the back of the tub. Buffy’s toes dragged along his shoulder and down his chest and even as his body took interest in her movements, he remained quiet. They hadn’t made love since the Atlanta fiasco and he was going to let her take the lead. Her foot stopped over the scar and she applied increasingly steady pressure on it. His hand wrapped around her ankle and pulled it away before he could find out if she meant to seriously hurt him or not. Lifting her foot, he brought it to his mouth and ran his tongue along her instep before sucking her big toe into his mouth. She yanked her foot away from him and sank it back into the water.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay. I know I don’t deserve the privilege of making love to you anymore. Not after my betrayal.”

There were a few beats of silence and Spike opened his eyes to look at her. She was studying him with the intensity of a cat stalking its prey.

“You said you didn’t fuck around on me. If you didn’t then how did you betray me? I mean is there something besides the obvious of spending the evening with another woman and taking the time to consider the fucking around.”

“Point taken, Slayer,” Spike said with a sigh.

“Okay, point taken but it still doesn’t answer my question.”

Tears welled up in his eyes and he closed them to keep them at bay. It was of no use as they trailed down his cheeks. After all these years he was still weak and he didn’t want to be. Not now, not in front of her, not in this situation. His hand covered his face as he forced the words that he carried in his heart to be uttered from his throat.

“I…I never deserved you. I know that. And to be given this gift of us, of this love between us and I for one moment doubted it, doubted us, and in that I betrayed what you have given me.”

Her toes stroked his hip.

“I betrayed you, too. So, does that mean I don’t deserve you?”

“What do you mean?” Spike asked, his hand falling back into the water. Her eyes were bright and staring into his, turning the deep emerald they did with passion.

“I cut myself. I followed through on the temptation to keep you from my pain. Isn’t that an act of cheating? I kept a part of myself from you.”

Sitting up, he hooked his hands behind her knees and pulled her toward him. She shifted until she was on her knees, straddling him with her arms looped behind his neck.

“Do not ever compare the two acts. Yours was one of confused desperation while mine…”

Buffy shushed him by covering his mouth with her hand. “In the end, so, was yours.” She laid her forehead against his. “I forgive you, husband. Please, forgive yourself.”

His hands splayed across her lower back, pulling her closer to him, to his burgeoning flesh. Everything moved in slow motion as she kissed him. Her love flowed over him, cleansing him, and welcoming him home. It had been too long since she had graced him with this, and he drank it in, letting it quench his aching loneliness for her touch. Spike raised his knees and leaned her backwards to rest on his legs. Buffy watched every movement he made, his fingers skimming over her flesh and he smiled at the goose bumps that were left in their wake. Her nipples were yearning for more attention, beading and reaching for his caress.

He growled softly as she reached between them, rising so she could sheath him inside her body. His breath disappeared as he watched himself be swallowed. Everything heightened as she moved and he watched in wonder at the expressions that danced across her face. Their whispers of adoration flowed into unintelligible murmurs and moans as they lost themselves in the physical expression of their love. Their joining became a reaffirmation of their commitment, realigning their hearts into perfect synchronicity that erased the hurt of the past week. Spike held her as she quaked in her climax and relaxed in her embrace as she brought him to his. In the aftermath, Buffy buried her face against his neck, and he held her tight as their heart rates slowed and breathing became easy again.

His hands roamed her back and he kissed her shoulder. “So, Love, have you been thinking about this seduction for a while or was this a spur of the moment thing brought on by my pitiful plea for forgiveness?

Buffy laughed and eased away from him. “I think I actually decided this morning that you had been punished enough.”

Spike held her hand as she stepped from the tub and he followed her.

“This morning?”

She wrapped a towel around his waist and she reached for one to wrap around her.

“Any man that would take his potentially explosive wife to the mall two days before Christmas follows her around, signs the credit card slips and never once complains is a man who knows his proper place in life.”

Her eyes danced in mirth and Spike relaxed, he was welcome in her inner sanctum again and he wrapped his arms around her tickling the softness of her flesh. Buffy squealed in mock outrage until he kissed her silent. And he decided that he was the luckiest man alive.

December 23, 2007 10:45 PM

Spike decided that watching Buffy lick chocolate icing from a knife had to be one of the most erotic sights he had ever seen. His body hardened at the sight of her small, pink tongue curving around the metal, capturing every bit of the dark sweet. It was when she washed it down with a sip of blood that he couldn’t decide if it was still erotic or really gross. Either way her focus in consuming her snack only called for his admiration. He rested his chin in his hand as he watched her. A bite of chocolate cake, a sip of blood, a bite of chocolate cake, a sip of milk, a smile for him and her toes caressing his foot the entire time was hypnotizing him with her rhythm. And the primal male in him wanted to rip her clothes off, lay her on the table and claim her until she screamed but he shook his head and told himself to be patient. It was his privilege again and he could wait until the time was right.

The car pulling into the drive told him that making love to his wife would definitely have to wait until after their guests were settled. Voices and footsteps sounded across the porch and he opened the door before they knocked.

“Hey, hello,” Max said, entering first.

Cordelia and Angel followed him with their own greetings and Spike noted the frustrated expression on his Sire’s face with a small twinge of glee.

“So, how was the ride up?” Spike asked, as the hellos and hugs were slowing down.

“It was great,” Max replied, his hand on Cordy’s shoulder. “I never knew Cordelia and I had so much in common. She was a cheerleader and I was the high school quarterback. We talked the whole way about our glory days.”

“Yeah, it was fucking wonderful,” Angel muttered as he took his bags into the study.

The former cheerleader rolled her eyes and followed her husband.

“You two are acting like high school boys,” Buffy observed, waving her fork at Max and Spike. “Don’t antagonize Angel or try to cause trouble for the two of them. I want happy people the next two days. Do you understand?”

“Yes, dear,” Spike replied, but grinned at Max. He didn’t want to cause any problems that would ruin the holidays. But the temptation, fueled by the animosity between his friend and his Sire, was too great not to exact some playful revenge on the older vampire. And it was just plain fun to have someone on his side for a change.

Returning to the table, Spike watched as Max helped himself to drink and food. Angel returned and the two men shot daggers at each other as the vampire prepared blood. Feeling the tension increasing, Spike sighed and knew he had better bring up something to stop the potentially volatile situation.

“Max, any other news on the…,” Spike said.

“Yes, Max, enlighten us with your superior investigative skills,” Angel mocked, sitting across from Buffy.

Cordelia returned to sit next Angel and Max brought his food and took the chair next to Spike before answering.

“We have the composite drawing that I was telling you about earlier,” Max explained, between bites of his sandwich. “And its being compared to the surveillance tapes as well as seeing if there are any other matches of faces in them. We are going on the theory right now that SB was at the hotel to arrange a ‘chance’ meeting but was beaten by…” He hesitated looking at Buffy.

“Amber and Nikki,” Buffy completed. “It’s okay. I’m not going to freak.”

Her hand covered Spike’s, showing her still fragile feelings over the matter and he squeezed it. The emotions were being pushed back so that Buffy could deal with the matter at hand. Even though she was no longer the official Slayer, she would always be influenced by the role. Spike admired Buffy’s determination to handle this in a detached, rational manner.

“I just have one question though,” Buffy said. “Spike explained the idea that SB found out about the scar from the walk on the beach. But how did the condoms get in the suitcase?”

“I live out of my suitcase and in hotels,” Max said. “Between the time you leave your hotel room and arrive at your next destination, you put your suitcase down dozens of times. Checking out, waiting for your car or a taxi, giving it to the driver, at the luggage wheel at the airport, there are countless places that someone could take a few seconds, unzip the pocket and slip something inside. Not to mention, if she is really good, she could have found a way to get into the hotel room itself or bribe someone to do it for her.”

“You seem to have dismissed Amber and Nikki,” Angel said, leaning on the table, intently focused on the discussion. “Isn’t there a chance that it is one of them?”

“They were, of course, the first suspects. Trying to get an impartial opinion, I sent investigators that I trusted to question them. It was determined that they don’t fit the profile. Their finding was that Amber doesn’t really have the intellectual makeup to pull off something that complex. She’s great at her job but otherwise she’s clueless.” Max looked at Spike for a second but returned his gaze to Angel before finishing. “Nikki’s too socially oriented to fit the profile. She wasn’t looking for romantic involvement, just a good time for a few hours and has already taken off for a confirmed holiday in Colorado.”

Spike could feel everyone’s gaze on him and he tried to keep his face blank while the emotions swirled in him. He didn’t want to feel the twinge of rejection at the thought that he wasn’t good enough to be taken seriously. And that he was so unimportant that he had been dismissed so easily. But he did. He was certain in Nikki’s mind that he was beneath her and there was brief pain. He started when Buffy’s hand squeezed his this time and he looked up at her and only saw understanding in her eyes. Then it was gone, as surely as he had been dismissed from Nikki’s mind, she was dismissed from his. His wife’s opinion was the only one that mattered and she loved him.

“What is the profile then?” Spike asked to take the focus off of him.

“Single, having difficulty in making lasting relationships, therefore most likely never married, predatory and will go to great lengths to rationalize how this particular relationship would work with you.”

“So, she’s an ugly toad with no life then,” Buffy said.

Max smiled, “Not many women can compare to the beauty at this table but to call them ugly toads is a little much. But the profile for this type of stalker is of a woman that possesses a strong need to be liked and is skilled at attracting men.”

Angel grunted at Max’s compliment directed at his wife and Buffy. “Then she’s not ugly?”

“Actually, if the composite is our woman then, no, she’s not ugly. She is attractive, petite, brunette, and of average weight.”

“If she’s attractive,” Cordelia said, “and is skilled at attracting men then why Spike?”

“Thanks, Cordy,” Spike said. “I feel so much better now.”

The others laughed and Cordelia waved her hand. “I mean, why doesn’t she find herself a boyfriend? Someone that will actually return her feelings instead of this fantasy she insists on living in.”

“She can’t handle an actual relationship because her interpersonal skills are nonexistent. She has no clue how to be with someone thus develops fantasies based on an emotional response to someone that she thinks would be perfect for her. Her feelings are transferred to the other person making her think it’s a real relationship. That’s why she sends the flowers, the cards and the gifts. And she will find a way to rationalize why Spike is ignoring her or not leaving Buffy to be with her.”

“Max,” Buffy said. “What happens when she stops rationalizing? Or if she thinks that it’s me and the children standing between her and her happiness. Will she become violent?”

“Most likely, Buffy,” Max answered. “But we’re going to try and stop her before it gets to that point.” His eyes met Spike’s in a mutual agreement that they would do everything in their power to do just that.

December 24, 2007 12:07 AM

Buffy slipped the last pin from her hair and allowed it to flow over her shoulders. As her hands combed it out, she heard the soft click of the camera and turned surprised eyes to Spike. He grinned as he snapped another photo.

“Spike, do you have to take photos of me like this?” Buffy asked, motioning to her nude body.

”Well, yeah, you’re beautiful and I want lots of pictures of the baby growing in you.”

“Congratulations,” she cooed, “very excellent choice of words by the way, instead of telling me that you want pictures of my stomach getting huge. And those pictures can’t be shown to anyone, nipples showing.”

“Lean back on one hand and drape the other arm over those tasty morsels,” Spike instructed as he arranged a discarded towel around her hips so her bottom and pubic area wouldn’t show.

Giggling, she obeyed. It stroked her ego that he wanted pictures of her and only thought that her stomach was beautiful as she felt more ungainly everyday.

“Now, that you’ve given up writing, are you going to become a photographer now?”

Spike sat on the bed, playing with the camera.

“Well, actually, I talked to Barney about putting together a collection of nudes of you to publish. He said that it would give a new twist to the reality phase of a few years ago. What men really find attractive about their wives? I told him that you’d be willing to pose for me.”

Stunned, Buffy looked at him, trying to find some clue he was joking but his face was totally serious as he viewed the pictures he had just taken.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No,” Spike said, glancing up at her. “I emailed him some samples already.”

Gasping, she stood, “You so did not.”

“I think it was the one of you going to town with Mr. Shivers that sold him on the idea.”

Realizing he was joking with her, she snapped the towel at his leg and advanced on him. He hurriedly put the camera on the nightstand and played along, scooting back on the bed and begging for mercy. Laughing, she descended on him, lightly raining blows on his chest as he growled up at her.

“You bastard,” Buffy giggled, allowing him to turn her on her back. His mouth attacked her, nipping and kissing his way down her body. Her legs opened so he could crawl between them and although, it was bad timing, she remembered something. “I thought you said you deleted that picture.”

He didn’t answer her and she soon forgot the question. His tongue was too busy giving her shivers that put her toy to shame.

to be continued…