Chapter 52 – Oh Father
Buffy knew
the exact moment when Spike stopped loving her.
His love
had been dying a long, slow, tortured death over the months or possibly years
of her never appreciating him the way she should. But the final demise only
took seconds. It was a flame that was blown out by a harsh wind of betrayal.
Cerulean
eyes turned to ice as he gazed upon her gripping Dagon’s hand in the throes of the
induced labor. His eyes flickered from their entwined hands to the bite on her
neck and his heart was no longer hers.
She
accepted it. She knew that it was the most likely scenario for this nightmare
to end with. Everything froze for a single minute of mourning then chaos
reined. Spike stood at the end of the bed as Max, Xander,
They all
turned towards him and Spike shook himself from his reverie. His eyes swept the
room as if looking down upon his kingdom. In his rightful place as the alpha
male of his family and second in line for the Aurelius line. Pride surged
through Buffy as she recognized the changes in her husband. No matter what the
outcome of this day, she knew that Spike was going to be just fine, with or
without her.
“Do what
you want to do to him,” Spike said, looking at Dagon. His eyes flickered
between Max and Xander. “Just make sure he’s dust at the end of it.”
Dagon
laughed. “You can do what you want to me but it won’t change the fact that she’s
mine now and has been for months.” Max punched him in the stomach but it barely
fazed the vampire. “If you doubt it ask her where the money went to. Ask her
what happened to Nikki.”
“Shut up,”
Spike growled.
“Ask her
whose bed she’s been sharing…” Dagon barked out as the two humans forced him to
his knees and with a carefully placed blow knocked him out.
With her
captor out for the moment, attention turned to the other vampire in the room. Drusilla
huddled behind Buffy clutching at her hand. Fear emanated from the raven haired
beauty as she realized that Spike wasn’t going to protect her. Trembling, Dru
plucked at Buffy’s gown. Connor reached for her but Buffy pushed him away.
“No,” Buffy
screamed. “Max, Max, please.” He came to her side and she grabbed his arm.
“Take Drusilla to Angel for me. No one else. She won’t hurt you. I promise.
Just take her to Angel.”
Max nodded
and Drusilla trustingly put her hand in his. He led her from the room, past the
others staring in disbelief at her request. The message was clear. She had become
the traitor. Spike merely glanced at her with such apathy in eyes that once
held great love.
However, there
wasn’t time to deal with it.
“I need to
get to the hospital,” Buffy said, staring defiantly at her husband. “I’ve been
in labor for a little over an hour and they still might be able to stop it.”
Spike
nodded. His gaze swept over the room, alighting on the bed in the corner with
his son sleeping in it. He hurried to kneel next to the bed, his fingers
searching for a pulse, his countenance visibly relaxing as he realized that his
child was still alive. He scooped Elijah up into his arms and handed him to
Connor.
“Carry him
for me,” Spike said, turning to the bed. His distaste was evident as he reached
down to pick Buffy up. “Anything you need to take with you?”
“My bag is
over there,” Buffy said, pointing to the corner. “But it’s not that important.”
Spike
carried her down the stairs. A small parade followed them as Connor carried her
son and the two women followed them. Raven carried her suitcase and kept
glancing between her parents and her brother. Tears filled those eyes glowing
bright with her confusion and fear. The only person they saw as they reached
the foyer was Roderick. But as they crossed to the front door, other members of
the family came out to watch their exit. With expressions ranging from pity to
confusion, they filled the doorways in silent support. Buffy ignored them all
as she willed her body to stop the contractions.
Roderick
rushed to open the door.
“Let him
go,” Buffy said, looking at Spike. “He was good to us.” She turned to Roderick
and squeezed his hand. “Please for me, wrap the birds up and send them to me.”
“Yes,
ma’am,” Roderick said, kissing the back of her hand. “It was a pleasure to
serve you. Good luck with the child.”
As surely
as the door closed behind them, Buffy knew something had ended. And as Spike
put her in the back seat of the minivan she returned Dru’s love with a message
that she’d miss her. She curled up on the seat with her head on
~~~~~~~~~~
It hadn’t
taken them long to find the house once they received Buffy’s and Drusilla’s
message. The listing for the remaining houses had been scoured for anything
that would match the clues they had been given. The mansion had once been the
retreat for an archbishop and was appropriately named, Sanctuary.
Angel
pushed the vampire off him and jumped to his feet. Before it had a chance to
retaliate it burst into dust and he held the stake firm, ready for the next
attack. He could sense another vampire close and he whirled in the direction
his senses pointed him.
It’s funny that way, you can get
used**
To the tears and the pain
What a child will believe
You never loved me
He was
surprised when he saw Drusilla being escorted by Max. The human stepped back to
leave them alone and Angel’s eyes narrowed as he absorbed her beguiling smile
and her seductive walk. She appeared to be all innocence as she stopped in
front of him. But the demon still shone in the depths of her eyes and he drew
his stake back again.
“You can’t
hurt me anymore,” Drusilla said softly, her hand caressing his cheek. “I have
seen the other side of tomorrow.”
Her words
held the shades of her madness but her eyes were clearer than he had ever seen
them and Angel hesitated. Would there be more? Or would she be lost again? He
remembered that she had helped to save Buffy and his hand lowered.
“Thank you
for helping Buffy,” Angel said, curious as to what had motivated this soulless
creature before him to come to the aid of a Slayer. “Did you do it so that we’d let you go?”
You can’t hurt me now
I got away from you, I never thought
I would
You can’t make me cry, you once had
the power
I never felt so good about myself
Drusilla
laughed as she stepped back. Her lips settled into the merest hint of a smile
while those eyes never strayed from his face.
“I will
never go away now. You and Spike will forever see me in her. The Slayer is full
of me.”
“What do you
mean?” Angel asked, grabbing her arm. “So, help me Drusilla, let go of whatever
hold you have on her.”
“Oh,
Daddy,” Drusilla said, wrenching away from him. She sat in a chair by the
fireplace with her hands folded carefully in her lap. “Spike made a wish. And
now he hates that it’s true. The moon smiles its approval though.”
“Yeah,
don’t believe it,” Angel snapped, leaning over her. “Once you’re dust Buffy
will be free of you.”
“You never
loved me,” Dru said, caressing his hand. “Not once; never once. I was just a
doll for you to play with and to discard when you were done hurting me.”
Seems like yesterday
I lay down next to your boots and I
prayed
For your anger to end
Oh Father I have sinned
It was
true. Love had never played into what he felt for the girl he destroyed. If he
had been human it would have been love and that’s why Angelus had to destroy
everything she was; everything she could have been. Love was a weakness that he
couldn’t tolerate or let tempt him.
Angel
sighed. “What is this true confession time?”
“I know
what love is. Spike loves me. He protected me,” Drusilla said, standing to
dance across the floor. “He gave me all the things that you never did. Until she came along and took his heart from
me.”
“I thought
Buffy was your bosom friend?” Angel asked, watching as Drusilla twirled closer
to him.
“Buffy and
I are one now,” Drusilla said, leaning back against him. His arm was drawn
around her waist. “Inseparable. Her soul has burned me and I have freed her.”
She turned to look back at Angel. “I have tasted her love for you.”
“So, is
this supposed to convince me to let you go?”
Oh Father you never wanted to live
that way
You never wanted to hurt me
Why am I running away?
“What would
you do, Angel?” Drusilla asked, tears spilling across her cheeks. “Give me a
soul? Free me? No, it’s over. I know it is.” She raised his hand holding the
stake and pointed it at her heart. “I have tasted all the things you took from
me; a husband, children and a home. You despise me for reminding you of who you
were and I despise you for taking my life from me.” Her hand cupped his cheek.
“My love is as deep as my hate.” She brushed her lips against his. “Do it,
Angel, do it. Finish what you started. Let me go.”
Maybe someday
When I look back I’ll be able to say
You didn’t mean to be cruel
Somebody hurt you too
Angel
kissed her with all the desire he’d once held for her and a moment later it was
over. Her dust fell to the carpet and he stared at it not able to accept that
she was gone. His Childe was destroyed by his hand and he fell to his knees
scraping the dust together. He couldn’t leave her like this. Not alone.
Not again.
~~~~~~~~
Buffy was
so small in the bed even with her stomach large with child. She hadn’t spoken a
word except to answer her doctors and the nurses. It was like he didn’t even
exist. Spike took a seat in the chair next to her again. An IV was slowly
pumping medicine into her to stop the contractions. Restraints held her wrists
to the bed. Sara felt it was best until she could ascertain Buffy’s mental
state but was waiting to see what effect the medicine had until interviewing
her.
“Is there
anything you need?” Spike asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence between
them.
A shake of
her head was the only answer he received. He sighed and leaned back in the
chair. Unable to stare her into compliance he looked out the window. It was
amazing that the world continued to function when his son was downstairs in the
pediatrics unit being examined for ill effects from the drugs he’d been given.
And his wife was lying here trying to stop the labor. They wanted to see how
long they could delay the delivery. The longer the better was best for his
baby. He’d also been told not to upset Buffy so he sat there, lying to both of
them, as he supported her.
Spike repressed
the turmoil within... All that mattered was Buffy…Buffy and his baby. So he
pushed away the rage, confusion and hurt.
How could
she hold that bastard’s hand? Sod what was going on. And then there was the
bite. Had it been consensual? The secrets she held onto for so long, was it to
protect Dagon? To protect Drusilla? The ramifications of Buffy and Drusilla
switching bodies had begun to sink in. How many times had he made love to
Drusilla when he thought he was making love to his wife? His eyes narrowed as
he asked himself if Buffy had welcomed Dagon’s touch. A year ago he wouldn’t
have hesitated with the answer. Buffy’s loyalty had been without question then
but now…he didn’t know. He tried to reach his love for his wife and only could
touch stone.
“May I have
another blanket?” Buffy asked. She chewed on her lower lip as she waited for
him to reply and when he didn’t she added, “It’s freezing in here.”
Extra
blankets had been brought in by an exuberant aid earlier and piled on the chair
in the corner. Spike grabbed one and tucked it around her shivering form. He
touched her forehead to check for a fever and she looked up at him. Their eyes
locked and the fear in her eyes hit him with almost a physical force. He sat on
the edge of the bed, brushing her hair back with his fingertips.
“It’s going
to be all right,” Spike whispered, holding her hand to give her comfort. “The
doctors said there wasn’t any reason that the labor can’t be stopped.”
“Will you be
here when the baby is born?”
“Of
course,” Spike said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Your hands
don’t hold any warmth for me,” Buffy whispered. She tugged at the restraints
holding her down and turned her head to stare at the IV bag hanging next to her
bed. “I wouldn’t go anywhere. Only the baby matters now.”
It was the
one thing they agreed on. He nodded as he stood to look out the window. Her
eyes followed him and his fingers traced her reflection in the window. He lingered on the soft curve of her cheek when
the sun came out from behind a cloud, chasing away the image of Buffy and
replacing it with his own. The message was as clear as his acceptance. He no
longer needed Buffy in his life.
~~~~~~~
The vampire
wouldn’t open his mouth for anything.
Dagon
stared at them as they beat him, sometimes laughing after a particularly brutal
blow. It gave Max the creeps as well as making him feel sadistic to repeatedly
rain punishment on someone that wasn’t fighting back even if that someone deserved
it. Spike and Angel had both given instructions to make it hurt. The vampire
had touched their women and deserved the worst pain imaginable. And to two
humans like himself and Xander the worst pain imaginable was very imaginable.
Their lives had given them both an insight to torture and evil than most people
would even be given a glimpse of.
“Do you
think that your feeble attempts give me pain?” Dagon taunted through swollen
lips. “The two of you are trying so hard to make the vampires accept you as
brethren. You will stand there and tell them how mean you are; how deserving
you are for beating me, when you both do it for yourselves. You both do it
because I’ve had what you never will. Buffy.” He laughed and stood using the
chains that bound him for leverage. “There is nothing sweeter than the small
sigh she utters when she has been satisfied.”
Something
inside of Max twisted as the image of Buffy yielding to this monster flashed in
his mind. It brought on memories of his own Brianna, crying to leave him for
her Sire. His wife had been just a girl
compared to the strength of the woman that Buffy was. Brianna hadn’t stood a
chance against a monster like Leonard and she never would have survived the months
that Buffy had withstood…
And in that
realization Max was able to lay down his ghosts. He would always love the girl
that had been his wife but she was gone. She would never have the chance to
mature into the potential she had within her and it was time for him to let her
rest.
It was also
obvious that Dagon was just trying to rattle their cages. There was no way that
Buffy would ever willingly give herself to this thing. And the thought that she
had been forced to endure his touch at all rallied every protective instinct
that Max had. Apparently it did for Xander too as the other man brought his
knee into Dagon’s groin. At least this time there was a grunt for them to
appreciate their work.
For Max it
was over and he dropped the poker he still held. He took Dagon’s face into his
hand.
“You are
the pathetic representation of this family,” Max said. “Darla had to have been
blinded to ever think that you could replace Angel. I hope there is a special
hell for men like you that hide behind women’s skirts.” He stepped back and
swept his arm toward Xander. “Dust him. It’s not worth my time to torture him
anymore.”
“I concur,”
Xander said, raising his stake and ending their job. “He was a waste of space
period.”
The two men
walked back through the house, past Roderick who was obeying Buffy’s last request,
and out into the sunshine. Max hesitated on the top step and surveyed the
grounds of Sanctuary. It was
beautiful; a perfect retreat for anyone needing a place to regroup. There were
woods surrounding it on three sides and lush green grass stretching to the very
edge of the trees. The house held an old world charm and was large enough to
hold the whole family if they so desired.
“Since
Dagon bought this place,” Max said turning to look at his companion. “I guess
it would go to the next of kin, don’t you think?”
“I believe
your right,” Xander said, glancing around quickly. “And since Angel was his
brother, I would assume he now owns this little piece of real estate.”
“I think we
need to remind him to get a hold of his lawyer,” Max said, running down the
steps toward his rental car. “It would be a shame for this place to be tied up
in legalese for years to come when there is a relative available to take over
Dagon’s assets.”
“Maybe
someone needs to do a little research,” Xander said, slipping into the passenger
side of the car. “And find out exactly how much Dagon had. It could be a real
boost to the family coffers.”
Max glanced
over at Xander and realized that somewhere along the line he’d been accepted as
a part of this family, although he still wasn’t sure about Angel’s opinion about
him. He--Maxim Rochester, loner--was a part of a large family. He pulled out
into the long driveway to head to the hospital and decided that he was taking a
leave of absence from the Guardians. A man needed to be close to his family not
out globe trotting for months at a time. It was time to make a home and settle
down.
~~~~~~~~
Spike
strode down the hospital hallway with Xander and Max following him. They had
been his stalwart guards and helpers in the five days since they had rescued
his family. Elijah was back at home. His son was still confused about what had
happened. He cried constantly not only for both his mothers but also for the
mother and father he’d lost the previous year. Buffy had been wonderful with
him, explaining that Drusilla was no longer with them but still a part of them.
So, much had happened to the child in the last year and it was going to take a
lot of loving consistency to make the boy feel safe again.
Buffy was
still in the hospital, no longer restrained except for the IV continuously
dripping medication into her body. They still didn’t speak unless they had to.
It was uncomfortable for everyone but it was just the way things were until
they had the chance to talk things over.
It was with
surprise when Spike turned the corner and saw Dawn sitting in the small waiting
area outside Buffy’s room. Since Buffy had been admitted, Dawn had refused to
leave her sister’s side. Josh had brought her changes of clothes and she’d showered
in Buffy’s room. She slept on a cot brought in for her. Dawn said that Buffy
had died for her once and she was going to see Buffy through this. Besides, she
added, Spike had children who needed him at home and this left him free to come
and go.
“Is
everything all right?” Spike said, walking quickly over to the girl. He glanced
at Angel who was on the couch next to her. “There’s nothing wrong is there?”
“No, no,”
Dawn said, jumping up and smoothing down her jeans. She glanced at the closed
door of the room then back to her brother-in-law. “Sara is with her. They’ve
been in there forever though.”
Spike
nodded. Buffy had requested yesterday for her therapist to visit her. His wife
had been having crying jags off and on since the second day. The news of
Drusilla’s demise had been the catalyst for the depression that clung to Buffy.
Spike turned to settle on the couch next to Angel while Max and Xander sat
across from them. At this point he wasn’t sure what to do for Buffy. She still
refused to speak with him about anything. She hadn’t really spoken to any of
them about what happened or offered any excuses for her behavior. Everything
was in a holding pattern until the baby was born.
The door to
Buffy’s room opened and everyone looked up to watch Sara come toward them. The
therapist sat in the chair nearest to Spike.
“Hey,” Sara
said. “How are you doing in all this?”
“Holding
up,” Spike said. “How’s Buffy?”
“Is it all
right to talk in front of everyone?” Sara asked, glancing around at the family
gathered there. “There’s not a lot I can tell you but Buffy said she didn’t
mind me speaking in front of family.”
It was always what Buffy wanted or
didn’t want. Spike
hated himself for the thought but it seemed to be the pattern his life followed
since Buffy had announced she wanted to get pregnant. Since that day their
lives had spiraled out of control and they were still waiting for the final
explosion.
Sara nodded
when he told her to go on and looked down at her notes.
“Buffy is
unstable,” Sara said, waving her hand to stave off the questions for the
moment. “Due to the facts that have been brought to light we know she isn’t
mentally ill. But emotionally she isn’t doing too well. Similar to when I first
treated her. The link with Drusilla has exposed her to the vampire’s own mental
illness which has given Buffy cause to question her own thoughts. Plus she has
been sharing her mind with someone else and now she has to readjust to it just
being her.”
“Is she
going to be able to handle this?” Dawn asked.
“Oh,
without question,” Sara said. “She just needs a period of adjustment to deal
with this and some other things she was exposed to.”
“What
things?” Spike asked. It had to be the things that had teased at his mind and
the things that Buffy refused to talk about.
“Spike,”
Sara said, covering his hand with hers. “Buffy was emotionally manipulated by
Dagon and Drusilla. She witnessed Dagon’s abuse and torture of Dru, which was
physical, mental and sexual. Everything that happened to Drusilla she knew
about and vice versa. In the end they were clinging to each other in an effort
to survive. I know you don’t understand why Buffy didn’t tell you what was
going on and I don’t think at this point she does either. It’s going to take
her time just to accept and deal with this.”
“How can we
help her?” Spike asked.
“There’s a
clinic about forty minutes north of Sunnydale,” Sara said. “It’s called the
Brandon Clinic and is run by Dr. Essie Brandon. It’s small, only takes about
twenty patients at a time and it’s not a locked facility. It’s a place for
people like Buffy who just need somewhere quiet to get themselves together.
While she was there Essie would be the therapist to work with her.”
In all the
years since Spike had found Buffy living in his crypt, he’d been the one to
take care of her. He’d held her together and given her the support she needed.
It was time to let go of that responsibility and let someone else have it. He
didn’t need to think about it. He didn’t need to talk to someone to give him
the justification to do it. It was like Buffy had told him, they had children
and he needed to put them first.
“Where’s
the papers to sign?” Spike asked.
“You’re
just going to put my sister away?” Dawn said. The annoyance was dripping from
her as she stood and faced the people who had given up on Buffy. Her loyalty
used to be wholly Spike’s but in the last few months it had shifted to where it
really belonged. To the sister who had loved her enough to let the world go to
hell and who had died so she could live.
“Buffy has
already signed the papers,” Sara said, surprising them all. “I’m going to go
and make the arrangements. She’s going to leave here the day after the baby is
born and check herself in.”
Unaware of
the disaster she was leaving behind; Sara made her way down the hallway. Spike
watched the retreat of the therapist until the elevator doors closed behind
her. Before anyone could stop him, Spike had slammed open the door to Buffy’s
room and leaned on the end of the bed facing his traitorous wife.
“You selfish
bitch,” Spike snarled. “Do you ever think about anyone besides yourself? How
dare you just decide everyone else’s life while you play the fucking victim
again? I’m sick of it and I’m sick of you.”
“Spike stop
it,” Dawn yelled, pulling on his arm. “Not now.”
Behind Dawn
were the three men also reaching for him but he shook them off. Buffy reached
for the water pitcher and everyone stepped back. Spike stood still and let her
throw it at him. The pitcher hit him square in the chest and the water dripped
down his front. He wasn’t going to be chased off by a childish act.
“Feel
better now?” Spike asked.
Buffy
stared at him for a moment then her gaze swept over everyone else before
landing on him again. “You sanctimonious hypocrite; how dare you stand there
and tell me I’m playing victim? You
“Maybe
because being with you sucks the life right out of a bloke until he doesn’t
know which end is up anymore. Angel had to leave town to get away from you.”
This time
she threw the cup full of water, clipping his shoulder and hitting Max standing
behind him.
“Leave me
alone,” Buffy screamed. “I only want to enjoy these last few moments of my
pregnancy in peace.”
“Why? So,
you can abandon your baby like you did the rest of your children?”
“Spike stop
this,” Angel said, putting his hand on his Childe’s shoulder. “Let’s go so that
both of you can calm down.”
Spike stared
at his wife as her face crumpled in pain. Tears streaked her cheeks and he felt
like an ass for hurting her but there hadn’t been anything since the night she
drugged him to indicate that she cared at all. It was like staring into the
face of a stranger.
“No,
Angel,” Buffy said. “Listen close Spike because this is the last time I’ll say
this. I’m sorry. I made mistakes but so did all of you. I tried to tell you
anyway I could what was happening to me. But you wouldn’t listen. It was so
much easier to stamp insane on my forehead and ignore me.” Dawn rushed to
Buffy’s side and put an arm around her shoulder. “Look at the scar on your
chest and tell me that I abandoned my children. I was trying to protect them. I
woke up one night with a knife to Sean’s throat because I dared to think about
telling you the truth. I was there when Dagon whipped Drusilla into submission.
I was there when he forced her to perform sexually. I felt every stroke and
every touch. Don’t talk to me about being a victimized.” She stopped for a
moment, swiping at the tears that were falling freely. Taking a deep breath she
continued, “I didn’t understand at first what was happening but the closer they
got to Sunnydale the more I knew, the more I felt, the more power they had. I
was afraid to do anything for fear of what they would do.”
“How did
you and Drusilla end up so close?” Angel asked.
“Because we
cried together,” Buffy said through her tears. “I felt her pain and she felt
mine. It bonded us in ways you’ll never know. I know everything you did to her,
every step you took to break her. It’s still here. Destroying her; didn’t
relieve you of your burden because she’s still a part of me. I still carry her
with me and always will. I couldn’t trust either of you to get rid of Dagon or
protect her. I had to find a way to stop all of the madness and the only thing
I knew for sure you would protect would be the children.”
“What about
Nikki?” Spike asked quietly.
“That
fucking bitch deserved it,” Buffy said laughing. “Yeah, I used your money to
teach her a lesson. Until you divorce me I’m your wife and I won’t share you.
Not again.”
“Buffy, you
hired someone to attack her?” Xander asked.
“That’s what I said,” Buffy answered.
“Drusilla helped me out. No guilt for protecting what’s yours.”
It was all
Spike could take as he gazed at the woman that had been the center of his life
for so long. She wasn’t that woman anymore; hell, he didn’t recognize her at
all. When the truth had been accepted, he turned on his heel and stalked out.
“Go on, run
like you always do,” Buffy screeched. “Don’t come back this time. Do you hear
me? Run you coward.”
Spike had
to get away from her otherwise he was afraid he’d kill her. He was staring at
the floor as he moved and he vaguely was aware of passing Giles and Kate on the
way to see Buffy. He ignored them as well as the three men following him. The
halls of the hospital became a maze as he walked trying to come to terms with
what his wife did. Somehow he ended up in the waiting room at the end of the maternity
ward. He put his hands on the glass and stared down into the parking lot.
“Spike,”
Angel said, standing beside him. “I know you’re hurt. You both are and you both
need time to calm down.”
“You don’t
understand,” Spike said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I’m not hurt. I
hate her. I fucking hate that bitch.”
No one said
a word and he turned around to face his friends. There was compassion and
understanding in their eyes as they looked at him. Love was a beautiful fire
that could burn you and leave nothing but scars. He’d had enough. There was
awareness that Drusilla had influenced or manipulated Buffy during her
pregnancy but in the end it was his wife that had made the decisions that had
destroyed his love. The not trusting him with the truth about Drusilla and
Dagon, the attack on Nikki, drugging him, taking Elijah away and now her
refusal to take any blame for what happened. Oh, she said she was sorry and had
made mistakes but he didn’t see any remorse in her. He couldn’t see her love or
need for him anymore and he knew it was echoed by him for her. They had lost
the connection between them.
“Spike,”
Giles said, hovering on the edge of the room. “Buffy’s water broke and they
said the rest of the labor should happen quickly. If you want to see your baby
born you need to come now.”
Spike
didn’t hesitate as he ran to Buffy’s room. Nothing else mattered but this child
that was about to be brought into the world. He knew that one of them would
contact the others so all he had to do was concentrate on helping Buffy. He
slipped into the room and Kate stepped away so he could be by Buffy’s side.
Dawn was on the other side of the bed holding Buffy’s hand.
“It’s
happening, Spike,” Buffy said, looking up at him. “Our baby is coming.”
“Yeah, I
know,” Spike whispered, sitting on the stool next to the bed. He brushed her
hair back from her face. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
They both
forgot the argument and the pain as they clasped hands. Dawn stayed to help
them out and the three of them worked together to bring the baby into the
world. Buffy’s labor advanced as rapidly as they first thought and within the
hour she was told to push. Her legs were drawn up as Spike put his arms behind
her shoulders. He and Dawn held her behind the knees as Buffy pushed through
the contractions.
“Okay,
Buffy,” Dr. Parker said. “The baby is crowning.” She gestured at Spike. “Come
here and see your baby’s head.”
Spike
stepped down to see the small head peeking out of Buffy and tears welled up in
his eyes. It was his baby. His child, conceived in a miracle and a great love.
“Here comes
another one,” Dr. Parker said. “Push really hard Buffy and this baby should be
here.”
Spike
lifted her again, his hand behind her knee, “Come on, baby, push with
everything you got.”
A moment
later Spike’s daughter slid from Buffy’s body. She came out wailing, indignant
of being expelled from her home. The infant was lain on Buffy’s stomach where
they examined her, unbelieving they were touching their baby. Dawn was practically
dancing from excitement as she let her finger be grasped.
“Spike,
would you like to cut the cord?”
A symbolic
gesture that signified more than the doctor would ever know. This little girl
was his in a way that none of their other children present or future, would
ever be. It wasn’t blood or the lack of blood. It wasn’t DNA. Raven, Sean and
Elijah were as much his in that sense as the newest member of the family. This
infant was his as proof that Spike counted in the universe. A body that was as
surely dead as anyone lying in the cemetery had been given the means to create
life. Her small eyes opened and she glanced around as if looking for him. Spike
was love struck as he gazed into eyes as blue as his.
“Spike,”
Buffy whispered as the nurse took the infant away to clean her up. She took his
hand and waited until he looked down at her. “I know what I want to name her.”
~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of
the morning had been spent in adoration of the child they’d created. Spike and
Buffy had declared a truce when they decided to wait until she came home again
to decide their future. Their baby nursing at her breast had reminded them of
how much they’d love each other not that long ago and she was hope that maybe
one day they’d find that love again. All of their children had held the newest
member and echoed the same agreement to her name.
It was time
to introduce her to the rest of the family. Everyone from Sunnydale and
“Everyone I
would like to introduce you to my daughter,” Spike said, turning so everyone
could see her, “Journey Aurelia Blood.”
to be continued….
**Song
lyrics are ‘Oh Father’ by Madonna
